SeanT21:

When in doubt,TELL THE TRUTH!!

The truth always comes out!!

allboyz:

Hmm . . .yes it does. . .But the situation is just leaving me speechless

ifyalways:

what is there to be speechless abt?abeg lets just be realistic.
This lady here have said the truth and its quite understandable.she needed a stay,she needed someone to support her and her family,she needed to marry too so 
wud it have been better if she missed this guy cos of the family them maybe end up in the streets cos she wants to be 100% truthful?wud she marry her brothers at the long last?
Not saying what she did is accepted but given the choices what cud she have done?what wud "u" have done if u were in her shoes?its not like shes abandoned her family anyway,she lied to make things better for them.
@Plap,dont tell him yet jare.what he does not know wont hurt him and if the truths gonna hurt u,keep shut.

FBS:

Your advise is the very reason homes break up and everyone is starts to wonder why? you say don't tell him yet? pray you tell us when is the best time to say the truth, when he finds out from someone else?
Why would you lie to someone supporting you? what if he finds out?

ifyalways:

. . .and who is the someone else that wud tell him?
what if she tells him NOW and the marriage breaks up?shes not working yet and shes got a family at home depending on her.what wud happen to her,the kids and all the folks depending on her?The possibilty of him finding out now is slim,the possibilty of her getting kicked out cos of the so-called truth is high so
i asked u ,what wud u have done if u were in her shoes then?

ifyalways:

. . .and who is the someone else that wud tell him?
what if she tells him NOW and the marriage breaks up?shes not working yet and shes got a family at home depending on her.what wud happen to her,the kids and all the folks depending on her?The possibilty of him finding out now is slim,the possibilty of her getting kicked out cos of the so-called truth is high so  
i asked u ,what wud u have done if u were in her shoes then?

FBS:

thank you amebo no 1 (you are certainly answering your name ).

*Hauwa*:

poster should start looking for a job now, i know it maybe hard with you having small kids. in case you tell him or your siblings does and he leaves.

na wah! so oyinbo dey fear our large family? maybe if the family is stinky rich, oyinbo won't be afraid.

FBS:

one should not look at it from that angle that the guy is white or not. He is a human being that deserves to know the truth. end of story. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you have done, knowing that your wife lied to you?

*Hauwa*:

poster should start looking for a job now, i know it maybe hard with you having small kids. in case you tell him or your siblings does and he leaves.

na wah! so oyinbo dey fear our large family? maybe if the family is stinky rich, oyinbo won't be afraid.

amebo no.1:

dis is d problem we naijas have,is it a must to have a stay,so becos of stay u sold ur family


jeeezz if it were a man its understandable,but a woman haba

paper no be by force,obodo oyibo no be everybody


arrrggggggg

JJYOU:

@plap, sorry this is eating you up. they say it is easier to tell truth than tell a lie.

solution to this is very simple let them know you are not working and unlike some other people you dont have a dozen hookers making money for you in europe streets.

only your mum is important in this matter. you should help her along with the help coming from your sister and the rest. it should not be only you and your hubby's burden. all you women lib movement you see what you have caused? we never used to depend on daughters for feeding.

get your sister in europe to help out too.
your elder brother is not your responsibility. learn to ignore him and tell your husband exactly that too. he should be told to grow up and stop gambling like there is no tomorrow.

on the team plus 2 reserve bench, you are not their parents so technically not your wahala but i can see why telling now is going to create some problem. walk this rope carefully.

i normally charge for this but i will give you this free on this occassion. try being nice and go the extra kindness mile until you come out clean. by this i mean no matter whatever he does from now you will/ must ignore to the point he owes you a lot. it may be hard but knowing you neeed the bridge yourself walk it.

you may also need to talk to your people that you cant afford to feed them and your family. and make sure you wean them of his money. they survived without it before they will survive again. i cant understand why some people dont have respect for their kids she is not hiding her own child/ren for goodness sake. these are people she should never be responsible for in the first place. these people are unique. i dont want to say what i think of them.

putting a young girl under pressure should never be permittedshe shouldnt look for no job. her kids are young. she should cut off the funds they send home. she has another sister who can easily take that responsibility if comes to that.

on a day like this i thank God for my mum and dad.

plappville:

Thank u for this wonderful words, my old woman is kind, she has never been a borden, she desarve even more.

plappville:


U don't understand, i saw hall and pains befor i left Nigeria, i ve always wished to study fear but i couldn't becos of lack of fund, dad wasn't there to help and the senior once weren't ready to help as they were been lazy to work. So i got the opportunity to make a good living for me and still extend it to them and u want me to throw it in the dustbin?? think befor u talk.

@ everybody, i am not here to exposed my family because i know how some members insulted me once for bring family matters here, if u ve bordens and needed to do away wit it, u ve to share it with people, and beside's this is a family section so i see nothing wrong in posting my worries here as long as i can get releaf of it.

JJYOU:

she is not hiding her own child/ren for goodness sake. these are people she should never be responsible for in the first place.  these people are unique. i dont want to say what i think of them.

FBS:

@JJyou, whoever said she is hiding her children? we are talking about the guy that stood with her. supporting her.
@plappville, certainly you are not looking for people to tell you on NL that what you have done is right? no one is comdemning you (we all over our stuffs in the closet) but that dont mean we should tell you not to say the truth.

plappville:

I am ok in telling the truth, that was the reason why i came here, what i am not sure of is the ourcome of telling it, all Dsame thks for ur concern.

plappville:

I am ok in telling the truth, that was the reason why i came here, what i am not sure of is the ourcome of telling it, all Dsame thks for ur concern.

tRoOE:

plappville you've got serious issue
First ur sister is jealous of u
2nd your older brother is lazy and depends on your husband
now you have 11 sibling
I just loff Nland

Treetop20:

do not tell him anything for now
i can understand your situation and why you did
what you had to do. focus on your kids and husband
and much later you can let him know the truth. never
listen to anyone who says anything bad about you on this
i wish you the best

tope2000:

Best advice so far
Everybody is too quick to judge, u not in her shoes
She knows her family more than us
however if this is really eating you, i suggest u tell the TRUTH

what is there to be speechless abt?abeg lets just be realistic.

KarmaMod:

Abi o. Dont know what's "speechless" about this.


JJYou is the only sane reply in all this

FBS:

you ppl are funny for her with your useless advises. You want her to continue to hide a "harmless" truth. The longer she holds it, the harder for her to reveal.
Ladies, is that how you keep your home? hiding the truth from your husbands?

*Hauwa*:

Plapp,
listen to what JJYOU said okay. face your relationship with husband and kids. i don't blame you at all i only blamed our parents for birthing so many
children. you are the 11th, you should be enjoying yourself and not put in the burden of older ones on you. for now face helping your mom. when you eventually have job then help the last two. the rest are older than you so don't bother that much.

again try as much as possible to make sure your husband is not helping waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. maybe seasonal/occassional help.

focus on your marriage and don't do anything that might bring a burden to yourself. remember you have kids. what's important is them and them alone. and if hubby money is going a long way making your children live a great life, why do something to end it? so careful and tread softly.

don't carry sibling headache put for your head. let your husband do small not big big o.

Treetop20:

do not tell him anything for now
i can understand your situation and why you did
what you had to do. focus on your kids and husband
and much later you can let him know the truth. never
listen to anyone who says anything bad about you on this
i wish you the best

KarmaMod:

Abi o. Dont know what's "speechless" about this.


JJYou is the only sane reply in all this

spoilt:

You should have just told the truth from the get go. Introduce every single person down to the last born, gorimapa. . If he doesnt like your African connection, too bad!! Let him take a hike.