NA ONE LADY GET PROBLEM WITH HER MOTHER INLWA.

THE MOTHER INLAW DON FRATSRATE THIS LADY TOO MUCH AND THE LADY SAID, I CANT CONTINUE TO BEAR THIS ANYMORE, SHE STARTED CRYING IN PRESENT OF THE MOTHER INLAW. AFTER SOME WHILE, THE MOTHER INLAW FEALT PITTY FOR HER AND SAID.

Angel: I can't be everywhere so I created a Mother.
Devil: I can't be everywhere, so I created a , Mother in Law.

With due respect to all mothers in law including me. All are not the same but those who give trouble to their children and children in law, must think about it.

LOL

A manager was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect.

Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone placed a sign on top of it, it says:

"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

shines teeth

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window , ?"

bak 2 bed biliki

One sunny day in late January, 2009 an old man approached the White House from Across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."

At the Restaurant

CUSTOMER; whats this, waiter come plz, take this chicken away I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.


CUSTOMER: Do You want to drive me to my grave!

Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?


i need the answer from u guys.

I go visit one Big man For my area.

The next day now happen to be the son's birth day.

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.


i wonder may him papa they do sport car

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

No be small thing ooooooooooooo

like ur own

One of my guy that just open a new office in utako, said, man came to his office as a job applicant. but he my friend is just starting the job and he does not require much help.

look at what my freind as the director said.


Director: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.

Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!


lol

na for one restuarant way them employ one village guy as waiter.

they have tought him many things but as a village guy now, him still lack some things. na him one man go the restaurant. the waiter came to his desk and said

Waiter: Would you like to take a coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

the waiter now smiled. the customer said give me a coffee.

What is a 710?


A few days ago I was at the automobile spares shop. A lady came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one, ' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The salesman gave her a scibling pad and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew something like a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to a car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there'


If you're not sure what a 710 is please draw a circle and write 710 in it. Then hold it upside down.

WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted".
Next day, she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman, who said, "I never knew what re

al happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"

lol

u talk joke & na only u dey laff

madness is now predominant in the land

sauce?///

if u no praise me, i go praise myself.

d lizard wey dey wall self dey nod head 4 ya inco******* work

the lizard way fall from the fence look around, when he see no body to praise him for his strenght after falling.

him self nod his haed and silently said inside him, if no body see me and praise me, i see myself and i praise myself.

no be small thing ooo

did i just sight saucekid. the slippery snake owes me. . .

what?

where una dey now?

Heavenly test


A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, "Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?"

The Christian replies, "My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven."

"OK," replies the Angel. "Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter." The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: "How do you spell God?" It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, "I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven." The Angel replies, "It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?" The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist's turn. He tells the Angel, "I've done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha's five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers." The Angel replies, "That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in." Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: "How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva? "

the Buddisst cant spell it and the angel replied,Heaven is not 4 u.


abi u fit spell that?

policeman and doctors


Salesman to Policeman
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

Kidneys and Livers
Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment."

"So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend.

"Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure you'll die of a kidney ailment."

a man with beard was riding a bicycle when he hit into a lady crossing the road.

Man: maaf kerna break kaam nahee ker rahee(sorry the breaks are not working)

Lady: sharam nahee aati darhi rekh ker khwateen ko takkrain martey hein? (shame on you! hitting into ladies whilst having a beard)

Man: bibi yeh daarhi hai, break tu nahee. (madam this is beard, not break)

blims, i beg ib don tire to read, abi u wan tear people eyes

no vex

i go vex, no hold me o.