There are different wedding traditions which are observed by prospective couples across the world, while some are pretty simple, straight forward and cost nothing, others can be complex, expensive and deeply involving too. In Nigeria and most African countries, the most important tradition of all is “the bride price” a wedding tradition observed according to the customs and norms of the bride’s family. Every culture has different process of paying the bride price but every tradition serves the common interest of the bride and her family.

The significance of a bride price

A bride price is a traditional practice to receive from the groom’s family in form of goods, livestock and money given to the family of the bride in appreciation of her nurturing from infant to maturity during the traditional marriage rites. It demonstrates the ability of the man to continue to take care of their daughter as they set out on life’s journey together. It is often based on the bride’s family’s set rules and requirements and can also be measured according to her family’s wealth and social status. Where the bride attains a good level of education, the bride price tends to be much higher.

The implication

The importance of the bride price cannot be overlooked so much that women whose bride prices are not paid before marriage often feel cheated and unsettled in their marriage. A marriage is incomplete when the bride price is still outstanding and until the man does the right thing, the woman’s family will not accept him as an in-law.

Exploitation

As significant as the tradition is, the practice appears to have become so commercialised that it has lost the flavour of the old school and the traditional values are gradually fading away too. Commercialisation of bride price or high bride wealth is a common practice in some parts of Nigeria.

A young man recently called to seek my advice on his bride price dilemma; he was given a list of items by his prospective in-laws which included a cow and several other expensive goods. Just as he was finalising the list, he received a call to attend a meeting with the head of the family.

At the meeting, he was told that the first list he was given was not conclusive. In a nutshell, he was asked to buy another cow but unfortunately, he had spent all his savings buying all the items on the list. They continued to demand for the extra cow which left him sad and confused.

Today, many men fall into this trap and others choose to delay their wedding proposal since the bride price is gradually shifting towards buying a wife too.

Notes

With due respect to our elders and families who truly believe in the traditions of bride price, I hold this issue in high esteem with so much emotional attachment too.
Yes, I obviously sympathise with many young men and their families who have to pay the price but in my opinion, it truly sets the men apart from the boys and men who have respect for such traditions are more likely to meet their financial obligations within the marriage too.

On a lighter note, negotiations can also be made where necessary but strong traditions such as these should not be undervalued and misunderstood.

Let us give Caesar what belongs to Caesar.

samflexxy:
Another importance i see in bride price is that when a guy marries and pays a hefty some of amount and provide lots of goods eg cow, palm wine, creates of highups(star,guilders)tubers of yam e.t.c the guy will terish his bride because he knows how much he has spent on marrying her, divorce will never be on the cards cus when he considers how much he has spent he melo down

AndreRose:

I disagree. That's not a criteria; if divorce will happen, it will.

samflexxy:
Another importance i see in bride price is that when a guy marries and pays a hefty some of amount and provide lots of goods eg cow, palm wine, creates of highups(star,guilders)tubers of yam e.t.c the guy will terish his bride because he knows how much he has spent on marrying her, divorce will never be on the cards cus when he considers how much he has spent he melo down

samflexxy:
Another importance i see in bride price is that when a guy marries and pays a hefty some of amount and provide lots of goods eg cow, palm wine, creates of highups(star,guilders)tubers of yam e.t.c the guy will terish his bride because he knows how much he has spent on marrying her, divorce will never be on the cards cus when he considers how much he has spent he melo down

samflexxy:
Another importance i see in bride price is that when a guy marries and pays a hefty some of amount and provide lots of goods eg cow, palm wine, creates of highups(star,guilders)tubers of yam e.t.c the guy will terish his bride because he knows how much he has spent on marrying her, divorce will never be on the cards cus when he considers how much he has spent he melo down

KingTom:
The way bride prices are expensive these days is alarming, na wetin make I never marry till now! Can you imagine? Me! To bring 5 cows for a fairly used girl? Mbanu!

Tallesty1:

Smile?
For this kind topic?
This ya smile strange gaann

MissSlimbody:


Omo yi ti f'ori gba gate

MizMyColi:


Smile?
For this kind topic?
This ya smile strange gaann

Tallesty1:
Well, owning a plot of land here looks like a good investment.


I don modify am small sha.

I will drop the full gist when I come down from dizzy bus.

Okay.
Good to know.
One question though.

Do they pay Bride Price in America?

MizMyColi:


Okay.
Good to know.
One question though.

Do they pay Bride Price in America?

KingTom:
Baba It's not my fault Dharay, Jacksparrow and co. are lazy campaign managers

Now back to the topic, don't you think the bride prices these days are too high?

mkpakanaodogwu:
30th of dec last year my friend @ Agbogugu invited me to his younger sis trad marriage the following day the palm wine meant for the kinsmen which they couldnt finish is about 100 liters,he made so many calls and about 70 liters was thrown out the next day.a cup of that palm wine which is half a liter is #200

KingTom:

Jesus!!!! You see! You see! The same thing happened to my cousin Udoka in Orlu. The old fools were busy calling different things for the poor boy, greedy goats! My friend was just crying as he gave me his ATM card!

Fulaboy:
aha make I register my presence here

Wassup here

mkpakanaodogwu:
hahahahaha my good friend asked me to escort him to ngwa to collect list,no bi small thing happen,we spent #28,000 just to collect the list and when my guy saw thd content he was fumming,he slept over in my house b4 tqavelling back to his base in the north and mx fiance was traveling back and all of us were discusing about it,(she is from orlu)i am now laughing in chinese

KingTom:
Oga na bride price issue oh

Fulaboy:
choiiii wat am is seeing there 5 cows

Tallesty1:
I dunno.

Not interested at all.


I won't pick American bride even if it is marry one, get two free.

Well, prolly due to my western exposure, I don't understand the need for exorbitant BPs.

I understand, if there's a mutual agreement for symbolic exchange...which in this case, would be money.

Value vs Value.

The Americans don't.
It's all about mutuality.

It is this bureaucracy that's a major factor why we have more singles today.
Times are changing.
The world's going through this craze for materialistic overdrives.

It therefore adds that if you don't "have", marriage is not for you.
Those who manage to have now become scared that some woman would pop out from no where and chop them clean.
Talk about dead locks.

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In other news, my Nokia Palasa don spoil