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Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? (32828 Views)

Crazy Things Women Do To Save Their Marriages / Difference Between Olden Days Marriage And Modern Days Marriage / Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 11:59pm On May 14, 2015
There wasn't such thing as feminism back then

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Pureheart91(m): 11:59pm On May 14, 2015
The evolution of Western culture into our African norms and culture cost us the price of globalization, hence making us MODERN DAYS ZOMBIES WITHOUT LOVE. embarassed

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by tempest01(m): 12:04am On May 15, 2015
Olden days relationship songs " and I will always love you...." These days it's " I think I've had enough..."

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by kajoula(m): 12:07am On May 15, 2015
[size=18pt]Contentment,
Patience &
Genuin Love/affection[/size]. grin ...[size=5pt]thats what my dad told me to look-out for.[/size]

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by kandiikane(m): 12:07am On May 15, 2015
Reply to those mentioning women:
Because women now know their worth and the men are intimidated?
Because women are not doing suffer heads anymore?
Because women now know they are equally as human as their male counterparts?
Because they do not want to be oppressed anymore?
Because they are now open about their sexuality and want to be pleased exactly how men want to be pleased?
Because women want to achieve more in life than just being a Mrs?
Because women know marriage is not a do or die affair?






@topic, I don't know go ask your forefathers.

People who believe marriage lasted don't know nada. Divorces were not documented then and you were not around during that time. Assumptions. Check your history and you will find that many of your foreparents separated from their spouses. (Probably not as much, probably killed before they could walk away)

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Adaeze003(f): 12:08am On May 15, 2015
EagleScribes:
Life was much simpler back then for the men you mean....

Wives had utmost respects for their husbands and will do everything to please them.

This... every other thing is just blah...

Life has evolved past the stage where a man is a woman's "all". So, I suggest the men should get with the program...

Then of course we have delusional and lazy men who think they can get away with half the things their ancestors could. Well... we all know where that ends.

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Joe171(m): 12:09am On May 15, 2015
1: enlightenment 2: fundamental human rights 3: equality
These things cause marriages to melt.
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 12:13am On May 15, 2015
kandiikane:
Reply to those mentioning women:
Because women now know their worth and the men are intimidated?
Because women are not doing suffer heads anymore?
Because women now know they are equally as human as their male counterparts?
Because they do not want to be oppressed anymore?
Because they are now open about their sexuality and want to be pleased exactly how men want to be pleased?
Because women want to achieve more in life than just being a Mrs?
Because women know marriage is not a do or die affair?






@topic, I don't know go ask your forefathers.

People who believe marriage lasted don't know nada. Dovorces were not documented then and you were not around during that time. Assumptions. Check your history and you will find that many of your foreparents separated from their spouses. (Probably not as much, probably killed before they could walk away)

May God bless you. Hopefully everyone reads this.

Just read through a few of your posts. You really are awesome wink

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 12:13am On May 15, 2015
People dont respect the institution of marriage anymore,back then our ladies yearned for love but this days its all about the money,back then a woman who truly loves you,loves you for the person you are,but nowadays our women seek for men with the money,putting comfort over emotions. Since the existence of a man revolve around woman he pursues money so he can please his special lady, but other ladies are envious and want a piece of the action,so he falls for it and realise that by throwing money around he can get any woman,he follows the path and gradually lose interest to the the special lady. And that is how the chain reaction continues.


Generally every thing in life these days are run on money "makes you wonder if the antichrist is a person or an entity" money!!!

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by kinibigdeal(m): 12:22am On May 15, 2015
pocohantas:
Humans are changing, evolving...call it anything.

You can't compare their ideologies to life then and now. Women way back were more tolerant and 'timid'. They were trained to take everything that comes their way. Divorce was never an option.

I wouldn't be far from the truth if I say the women were in a kind of bondage then.

With the advent of feminist and misogynist, there has been a clash of ideologies. The problem is the present day men and women. I think I love it this way, marriage isn't a do or die affair.

You either in it or out of it.

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Fkhalifa(m): 12:25am On May 15, 2015
rudebouy:
For me, the question is not abt why they lasted longer. My question is were both parties happier than today's couples?

How long a marriage lasted is no proof of a successful marriage, when you cannot ascertain dat both parties were truly happy with the union.

How many under-aged/teenage girls married in d north file for divorce afta 5 or 10 yrs? Will u say day are happy becos dia marriages last long?

Its like staying in a job u hate while searching for a beta job becos u cant risk staying idle if u quit and u dont know how long it will take u to get anoda job. So if ur still in dat job, does dat mean ur enjoying it?
Bro though i grabbed your point but marriage isnt bed of roses,challenges will be faced,the people of the old's ability to withstand the hard times made it successful in the long run unlike this modern marriages where one or two negatives they start moaning and seeking divorce..my view!

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by fizeul(m): 12:27am On May 15, 2015
I don't know the statistics you got ur views from... @op , but which olden day marriage are u actually talking about?? The ones the mothers have endured all sort of unimaginable things and their children has become their trophies or the ones they enter knowing fully well that's its a one way street, there is no questioning it, if u are in , you are in, no going back regardless of the shit u are facing. Oh, you can't bare the shame, what will people say?? oh, my enemies will laugh if this marriage breaks. These days, people don't give too much of a Bleep, the ones with brain stopped being naive. I don't believe the apparent looseness of our "updated" ladies is the cause of the problem.The problems have always been there, its just that patience has run thin..very thin..

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Rexnegro(m): 12:34am On May 15, 2015
tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.
Its because in old day value, respect , cultural norms and love was the reason behind old marriages. But new marriage are decided by wat u can offer .
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Qmab: 12:39am On May 15, 2015
The reason is because they endured shits in the marriage. A good blend of the old and the modern woman is the best.
Besides who told you d women folks back then don't divorce, my grandma had kids for two different men. Same with my bf's grandma.
So OP always do your research well.

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by rudebouy: 12:40am On May 15, 2015
Fkhalifa:
Bro though i grabbed your point but marriage isnt bed of roses,challenges will be faced,the people of the old's ability to withstand the hard times made it successful in the long run unlike this modern marriages where one or two negatives they start moaning and seeking divorce..my view!

The reason old skool marriages seems beta is dat divorce was neva an option. Worse case scenario was dat d woman will just pack her tins and leave or run, and der was no facebook or nairaland to let the whole world know abt it.

The reason it seems d new skool marriages dont last is becos divorce is d first and easiest option and facebook, nairaland and gossip is not helping.

By "olden days", how many years ago are you talking abt? Wot was d population of nigeria by den? How many marriages were instituted by den? When u get all dis figures and compare it with the figures of 2015, we can now decide weda old skool marriages were beta. Until den, its just sentimental conclusion to think old skool marriages were beta.

But if u say day lasted longer, I agree. But if u say day were beta, I totally disagree. Until u prove me wrong.

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by roob: 12:53am On May 15, 2015
BECAUSE WOMEN OF TODAY WANT TO BE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY...
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:18am On May 15, 2015
Because then, it was master and slave relationship. "If you love me, you listen to my commandments" then men were the head of the family but now women are the head.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by shumuel(m): 1:22am On May 15, 2015
Back in the past Relationship starts based on mutual respect, the woman knowing and believing that she has to respect her man and take responsibility of the home and kids while the Man knows and respect the fact that he has to provide and lead the family. Marriage was for raising Godly & educated Children for the society and economy

Now, the relationship is started based on mutual benefits, Woman sees her man has an horrible monster which she is to counqer and defeat, a money dispencer or a fool that knows nothing.

the Man sees his woman as a sextoy and a maid giving birth to just for that purpose, and are both not bothered about the Children but Money & Fashion.

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by NobleG1(m): 1:29am On May 15, 2015
tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.

Old marriages lasted because during that time women had no voice and right, so they were forced to stayed in abusive marriages.
Today's woman has voice and right. She's free to marry who she loves or wants, and also free to seek divorce without being chastised by society and her family.

Marriage hasn't changed, what changed is the human attitude.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by EagleScribes: 1:30am On May 15, 2015
Adaeze003:


This... every other thing is just blah...

Life has evolved past the stage where a man is a woman's "all". So, I suggest the men should get with the program...

Then of course we have delusional and lazy men who think they can get away with half the things their ancestors could. Well... we all know where that ends.

You only quoted a part of what I said. Definitely, laziness was not condoned while theft and "get rich quick" syndrome were not there then. Can you please disprove the rest?

I remembered a similar thread here where the man's marriage was in crisis just because he couldn't act like the telemundo guys to his wife. What about that?

I insist on life being simpler back then. I lived it and I speak from experience. Happiness was based on satisfaction, morals and values. Who would buy that in our world today?

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Slickest(m): 1:31am On May 15, 2015
because dey FIX things when it BREAKS, but now they throw dem away

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:34am On May 15, 2015
eleojo23:
Because people are looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

A lot of marital problems can be avoided when couples take time to understand each other. But no, many are too lazy to do that. They would rather prefer to live in the dream world and ride high on feelings. When the feelings disappear, the relationship comes to an end.
Anyone who has a good understanding of how life works knows that it won't always be easy and that hard times are the test of your seriousness with the relationship.
If someone only holds on in good times and lets go when things aren't smooth, it won't be far from the truth to say that such a one was never serious witjh the relationship in the first place.


I would be really happy if I could decipher this bullcrap
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:43am On May 15, 2015
tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.


Why do olden marriages last longer that modern ones is your question

Back then men married plenty wives
they are mad at the wife,they marry another
They feel the wife is not behaving to teach her a lesson,they bring another wife
And she stayed for the sake of the kids and took whatever was meted to her
The same things our grandmothers endured still obtains today but women are wiser
Many women today will not tolerate what their grandmas tolerated
They have careers now
Many are independent
They now have a voice
Being divorced is not as much a stigma as before
They now know it is ok to walk away from abuse
And that it's ok to raise kids in a non abusive environment rather than stay married at all costs
Back then a woman left a bad marriage,she went without her kids
Who wants to do that?,they stayed so as not to have their kids taken away
Not anymore
The court system can now grant custody of the kids to the woman

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:43am On May 15, 2015
pocohantas:
Humans are changing, evolving...call it anything.

You can't compare their ideologies to life then and now. Women way back were more tolerant and 'timid'. They were trained to take everything that comes their way. Divorce was never an option.

I wouldn't be far from the truth if I say the women were in a kind of bondage then.

With the advent of feminist and misogynist, there has been a clash of ideologies. The problem is the present day men and women. I think I love it this way, marriage isn't a do or die affair.

You either in it or out of it.
I was just scrolling down; searching for incisive and well thought comments, until I saw yours, I think the problem with most persons is that they don't think before they type, just instinctively and whimsically they type.
I had a similar discussion with someone, aaand I made them understand, the marriage of the old only lasted not because they had the abundant flow of marital wisdom of hera; but because Most were not educated, nor enlightened and very ignorant, it was in those same era, we had the most battery ,maiming and even death from marriaage; I made people understand, Marriage is not a do or die affair, if it doesn't work out, then! You go your seperate ways!!! No one should die because of it... I see no reason why an educated female with her own dreams and aspirations should be maimed, reprimanded and in most cases disgraced in public Just because she is married to a man and still choose to remain in that sham!!!
My mum was married for about 30 yrs, b4 my dad passed on; But I know had she been educated,or had siblings who were well to do; she certainly wouldn't have remained in such a marriage for more than half of those years....

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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:46am On May 15, 2015
Marriage is no longer a NEED.
We've evolved into a society that now WANTS to be married it doesn't NEED marriage to survive.
I think it's nicer now then ever before...Personally.

We are raising a new generation so stop looking back and enjoy your God given right to love and to choose who you love!

This is the modern world with it's modern families. There was absolutely nothing good about the olden days so start being grateful for TODAY! Amen grin

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 1:50am On May 15, 2015
Chiam55:
Marriage is no longer a NEED.
We've evolved into a society that now WANTS to be married it doesn't NEED marriage to survive.
I think it's nicer now then ever before...Personally.

We are raising a new generation so stop looking back and enjoy your God given right to love and to choose who you love!

This is the modern world with it's modern families. There was absolutely nothing good about the olden days so start being grateful for TODAY! Amen grin

My grandmother for instance never chose my grandpa as her husband
In those days their opinion didn't matter
That choice was made for her without her consent and she had no choice but marry him and she had no choice but to stay married come rain or shine
It is different today
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by alex406(m): 2:03am On May 15, 2015
Internet rulin and ruining marriages
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 2:03am On May 15, 2015
babyosisi:


My grandmother for instance never chose my grandpa as her husband
In those days their opinion didn't matter
That choice was made for her without her consent and she had no choice but marry him and she had no choice but to stay married come rain or shine
It is different today


People lie to themselves lol they couldn't last a year in the good old days lol.

The annoying part hun is that we Are the dreams of the olden days. We are the DREAMS those people in our situations had at that time.

I couldn't walk a day in my mother's shoes talkless of my granny... forget about that.
My Mother as one of the Surviving children of her parents lost out on their inheritance because they were women. Today I have laws protecting my daughters and their daughters.

Today I am my mother's dream I don't need a man I want a man.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Niftyrules(m): 2:06am On May 15, 2015
tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.

You already stated it my brother. Old and new
The olden days marriage will last longer than the new based on the fact that love use to be very much involve then in very relationship. And as a matter of fact, it is often at its peak.

But reversal is the case of this present generation where conditions are attached to you getting married to your dream person. It always reversal based on some obnoxious principle we've attached with 'being with the right person'
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by EXCELLENT055(m): 2:08am On May 15, 2015
LordCenturion:
Because they don't love money like this modern days chicks, they have common sense than girls of nowadays and they believe that, their body is the temple of GOD, not these days di*ck riders and di*ck doctors

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