ideykwum:
Her mother was smart! She isn't! Marriage is about acceptance! What should her mother have done? Divorce?? In those days, it was pariah! Become abusive and fight back? She'd be setting a bad example for her kids! Her mother was/is a virtuous woman, and she should admire her instead!

brownlord:
Kai so many reasons.

Parents was the one making choices for their kids.

It was an era when the most important thing was family background, unlike today, it is pocket background,

Even when family background is considered, it's about how wealthy the family is, honesty, good morals etc no longer count, just have money, the would-be inlaw's don't care about the illicit activities in the family.

I noticed then, A woman never get to know her partner until the day of marriage, which in most times she will refuse, they had little or no choice, even though there was no courtship like we having today, they still get to love themselves... the love was not there from the beginning.

Their priority was raising a good family.

They were not looking for 6 packs in men and men not all about light skin, yellow-label skin etc, it was about decency, honesty, modesty, integrity...etc

It was a time, the man was the head of the family.

It was a time, women were shy of losing their virginity before getting married....Unlike today girls boast of how many yahoo boys they have slept with.

What went wrong?

kandiikane:
Reply to those mentioning women:
Because women now know their worth and the men are intimidated?
Because women are not doing suffer heads anymore?
Because women now know they are equally as human as their male counterparts?
Because they do not want to be oppressed anymore?
Because they are now open about their sexuality and want to be pleased exactly how men want to be pleased?
Because women want to achieve more in life than just being a Mrs?
Because women know marriage is not a do or die affair?






@topic, I don't know go ask your forefathers.

People who believe marriage lasted don't know nada. Divorces were not documented then and you were not around during that time. Assumptions. Check your history and you will find that many of your foreparents separated from their spouses. (Probably not as much, probably killed before they could walk away)

Pavore9:


Marriage entails sacrifice but not loosing your identity as a human being.

Being a virtuous woman does not also entail meekly being the recipient of prolonged domestic physical abuse while your children watched and one is stuck because of what the society would say. And this was a man who played gentleman with women outside. lf her elder brother when he was just only 17 could be bold enough to hit at their father in one of his beating sessions of their mother, we can ignore their father's misdeed and easily judge the boy for committing an abomination even adding bible quotations to it!

There are things couples should not do to one another as both are responsible for nurturing a healthy marriage and a happy home.

babyosisi:


My grandmother for instance never chose my grandpa as her husband
In those days their opinion didn't matter
That choice was made for her without her consent and she had no choice but marry him and she had no choice but to stay married come rain or shine
It is different today

brownlord:
Kai so many reasons.

Parents was the one making choices for their kids.

It was an era when the most important thing was family background, unlike today, it is pocket background,

Even when family background is considered, it's about how wealthy the family is, honesty, good morals etc no longer count, just have money, the would-be inlaw's don't care about the illicit activities in the family.

I noticed then, A woman never get to know her partner until the day of marriage, which in most times she will refuse, they had little or no choice, even though there was no courtship like we having today, they still get to love themselves... the love was not there from the beginning.

Their priority was raising a good family.

They were not looking for 6 packs in men and men not all about light skin, yellow-label skin etc, it was about decency, honesty, modesty, integrity...etc

It was a time, the man was the head of the family.

It was a time, women were shy of losing their virginity before getting married....Unlike today girls boast of how many yahoo boys they have slept with.

What went wrong?

ideykwum:
I can't quarrel with your argument! It has lots of merit!

tpiadotcom:


why did the olden days scam last longer and better than the modern day ones?

tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.

eleojo23:
Because people are looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

If someone only holds on in good times and gives up when things aren't smooth, one cannot but question his/her commitment to the relationship.

ideykwum:
This is the most sound interpretation of the problem I have heard in a long time!!

Thanks! I also examined myself and found myself wanting in some areas! Thanks!

tpiadotcom:
Strange!

Modern marriages have both the husband and wife either wishing for death or divorce as their only alternatives, why marry if you hate your fellow human?

Nor be by force nah.

Osama10:
Women of Olden days had deep respect & were submissive to their husbands.

Adaeze003:


Preach! Sis or bro Lol...
Anyone who feels it was better back then can build a time machine n go back!

For those who want to stay? Stop whining! That one persons marriage didn't work doesn't mean yours won't! You have to work on your marriage and not just yourself!

You can't expect that today's independent woman will let herself be cheated on without divorcing yo behind or worse, doing same to you.

You all don't want liabilities no more, you want her to work, do all the chores, raise your children and then... what do you say again? "Be your ho" oh... and you don't want a maid in your home one question, are you high?

you can't expect to oppress, be abusive or worse, unemotional or what do you say again? "I no longer find her attractive" and then you want her to stay there "for the kids"... is marriage for the kids? did she marry you for the kids? Or for you?

Work on your home and stop whining, times have changed and things changed with it. If you don't wanna work then pick a naive girl from the villa. It's really that simple.

donbenedict:
Because the new ones think its some sort of a contract agreement

kingston247:


Girls like these end up single...

Toks2008:
Sometimes i also think this breakup is because we tend to overlook due diligence when going into a new relationship.

Have you wondered why some people have this way of not dioscussing their failed marriages or courtship? its because most of them have nothing worthwhile to say.

When we meet a new person who have been in a previous affair,many of us just start a new affair with such without asking deep questions and most times we realize too late after a recurrence of what led to the former breakup.

If we meet a new person and we are really interested in making such part of our lives,is it not just normal to really know the past no matter how unpleasant it may be at least you will have an idea of how to make the affair better.

Why do you think employers want to know your history of jobs? why do they ask for references? and why do they ask for years of experience?

You can never have a good plan of where you are going with someone when you have no clue of where the person is coming from.

As a lady you meet a man you see as WOW yet this guy killed his ex yet you have no idea of his past.

Many men have lost their lives by going into relationships with married ladies without even having a clue that these ladies are married.

Many ladies have ended up getting pregnant for a married man because they foolishly believed every poo the guy told them and how many men have fallen into the hands of evil women thinking they are angels of light

In my opinion,its not out of place to investigate the past of whoever you want to spend your life with and this is why marriages of our mothers lasts because the parents of those days do a thorough investigation not just on the bride or groom to be but deep into their genealogy.

Many will still say this writeup is trash but this is my frank opinion. INVESTIGATE BEFORE YOU COMMIT YOURSELF TO THAT PERSON.

Have you heard of these words "Once a divorcee is always a divorcee"

This assertion have been heard by me many times and until recently i had to sit down to decipher the deep rooted message in that sentence.

If you check very well, in every breakup whether in a courtship or marriage, there is usually that party that would say im done while there will be one that would be like "well we can still work it out"

If you meticulously follow the breakup and subsequent relationships these individuals go into after they part ways,you will often realize an interesting trend that the partner who says no room for reconciliation usually end up breaking up the new affair and YES by my research this happens 80% of the time. The reason why this happens is because there will always be a reason to break up no matter how perfect any affair may seem to be and if you were rigid enough to walk out of a previous affair over issues that is reconcilable then there is a great tendency to do it again and again in subsequent affairs hence justifying the assertion that once a divorcee will always be one.

This has made me realize that it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start an affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots

kingston247:


because the girls got no home training unlike our mothers...

Toks2008:


Honestly i really don't know what went wrong. The world has gone crazy and just some few weeks back i read of a yeyebrity writing on social media about 100days without sex and i wonder how shameless some ladies can be.

Many marriages crumble today because of the ex factor where many ladies compare your dick and your sexual prowess to their ex(es), where a man feels so unsure whether he is satisfying you as you want considering the number of d*cks that have swam in your wife in the past and strangely enough ladies even crave to have that satanic experience of tasting more than one d*ck just to have that feeling of evil experience..

Chiam55:

Marriage is no longer a NEED.

Chiam55:

This is the modern world with it's modern families. There was absolutely nothing good about the olden days so start being grateful for TODAY! Amen

Osama10:
Women of Olden days had deep respect & were submissive to their husbands.

Acidosis:
...because our mothers do not go about dating 3,4,5 men before marriage.


The woman of today will keep jumping from Chinedu to Akpos to Olawale to Rufus. She'll then weigh all based on monetary acquisition before settling down.


Our mothers stick with one man (each)!

It is abomination to sleep with 3,4 men before marriage then, but today its adventurous.

eleojo23:
Because people are looking for easy comfort. If there is a little problem, they just quit, no effort to resolve the issue.

Marriage is work. Many marital problems can be avoided when couples take time to understand each other and try to resolve issues that may come between them. But people would rather prefer to live in the dream world and ride high on feelings. That is the modern day philosophy - it has to feel good all the time.
Anyone who has a good understanding of how life works knows that it won't always be easy and that hard times are the test of your seriousness with the relationship/marriage.
If someone only holds on in good times and gives up when things aren't smooth, one cannot but question his/her commitment to the relationship/marriage.

sukkot:
cuz there was no internet back then. now with internet and mobile phones women stash porn in their phones and expect every man to have 20 inches of gbola. their expectations done high now. if your gbola no touch your knee-cap dem no go stay inside marriage. internet done corrupt everybody finish JUST KIDDING

Adaeze003:


Preach! Sis or bro
Anyone who feels it was better back then can build a time machine n go back!

For those who want to stay? Stop whining! That one persons marriage didn't work doesn't mean yours won't! You have to work on your marriage and not just yourself!

You can't expect that today's independent woman will let herself be cheated on without divorcing yo behind or worse, doing same to you.

You all don't want liabilities no more, you want her to work, do all the chores, raise your children and then... what do you say again? "Be your ho" oh... and you don't want a maid in your home one question, are you high?

you can't expect to oppress, be abusive or worse, unemotional or what do you say again? "I no longer find her attractive" and then you want her to stay there "for the kids"... is marriage for the kids? did she marry you for the kids? Or for you?

Work on your home and stop whining, times have changed and things changed with it. If you don't wanna work then pick a naive girl from the villa. It's really that simple.

SAMBARRY:
If they don't jump from chinedu to onyeka and chibuzor how will they gather experience. Why do you think employers ask how many years of experience do you have before applying in this company. .

Shebi the elders say experience is the best teacher

Acidosis:


Yea, same reason marriages crash. Divorce is important for the experience folks, so they can further their career with more gbolla, better pay & career development.