Rounakid:
On our way to play ball, we met Ezeah our very good friend, who lives in the same street with us.
"Ezeah howfar na, where are you heading to?" i asked him.
"No where particulary, i just dey stroll." He responded.
"Eeehn, make all of us follow go play ball na, na there me and Kenny dey go." I offered.
"Okay, no probs make we dey go, e don tey small we i even play ball." I, Kenny and Ezeah sets off to State Central school pitch Uruagu.
" Make una choose us oo... We wan follow una play" Kenny shouted as we reached the football pitch.
" Una sure say, una sabi play ball?" One of them, i supposed to be their captain, since he is the one holding ball quired.
"Yes naa, na me be Kutty Ronaldo, google my name, na me and Lionel messi dey train together." I spewed trash.
We where later selected to play after some minutes of surveying us.
"Heee! You on black jersey go down and join the down team, na you go assist that dark guy on yellow shorts to play striker." The supposed captain commanded refering to me.
And you on Green should join the other team, na striker you go play too.
The captain directed Kenny too, then others.
The ball kickstarts, the defenders before me, makes it so hard for me to score goal as a one man striker.
Like play like play...
"Goal ooo." our opponent have scored us.
This got me fumed up, we passed the, and i inteded to run with the ball, i did my flip flap style i learnt from Ronaldinho, and i unfortunately missed a step and landed with a thud on the ground, my fellow teamate just ignored me and did as if nothing happened, this got me more annoyed, i decided to play by myself alone if i regain my self, since no one cares about my welfare.
I regained my self, and attacked with a force at the midfield area, the person with the ball passed it to Kenny, and i rushed him with the aim of fouling and collecting the ball from him.
"Piaaam." guess what...? Am lying flat on the ground, my dear friend Kenny have given me a gud cut and i failed like a load of shits without control, and guess what? Kenny have tallied a goal from that area making it 2 - 0, this got me infuriated.
I rested for some minutes, and i started feeling some extra strenght on me, i started seeing the huge defenders before me as a ants.
I began seeing our old local pitch as Starmford Bridge, i guess my good friend Sir.Weed (Igboh) is at work.
Soon the ball gets to me and i moved with a great speed towards the defenders, after cutting one of the, i created a chance and fired a beautiful shot fro the area and...
"Gooooalll!" i have made it 2 - 1.
The game continued, and Kenny scored another goal with a nodding.
Shitup! I have to equalize this goals i thoughted.
I got hold of the ball and sped off like usain bolt, the weed i took is actually highing my morale.
I beated the central backers who advanced to attack me with a run, was running on a high speed not even minding where am running to, when i raised up my head, ooow it has become too late.
" Gbaaaaam!!!" I hitted my self at the cross bar.
I saw every body tooks off, thats all i can remember.
I instantly goes nut, i started seeing the pitch that am in, as a Miami Beach, i saw one beautiful girl caressing me on my whole body, suddenly, she started beating my head when she she reached that part.
I initially thoughted that it's part of massaging, but she increased her hand beats and this is actually breaking my head, soon.
"Aaaah!." i shouted as i wake up seeing Akor, Tony,Ezeah, Kenny and his girl Nkasi all around me, Nkasi is massaging me with a hot water "eeeeerm... What is wrong? I asked no one particulary.
They all just laugh at me " kutty Ronaldo." Kenny said and they bursted out laughing hared again.
Then my dull brain recalled what happened that brought me into the present condition that i am, i recall what happened the yesterday, My torned Trouser, Weed palaver, Rita's disgrace and the crossbar hitting.
What a bad Sunday! Now we are in new week, i pray it will be better than yesterweek.
I dozed off slowly as i looked at the beautiful sun rising....

Hey guy! Why you dey mention my "Surname"?

"Honey can you come and keep me companion outside." Nkasi called refering to Kenny, after we returned from market.
Yes, after the temple run with the northen cyclist, we decided to complete the rest of the journey by trekking, since the distance is no longer much.
"Okay, i dey come." Kenny replied, and left to our veranda which serves as a kitchen for us to assist his girl, leaving only me alone inside.
"Aaaaaaaaw...."i yawned, hunger has alredy started conversation with me.
I totally becamed bored, as a result of the loneliness am facing inside, was still trying to fix me self on something, when the mighty hand of sleep swept me off my thought.
"Kutty darling, what would i do for you so that you accept me as your lover?" Rose asked.
"I don't love you, just get that into your head." I barked, pretending embrassed.
Albeit, Rose have been my crush, but i just pretended as if i don't have any feeling for her.
"Please darlin, my heart beats for you, echoing your name, anytime i set my eyes on your handsome face." She pleaded on.
This turned me on, i love it when lady confessed that am hansome, all thanks to my lovely parents who met theirselves beautiful and hansomess respectively.
I smilled at her revealing my gap tooth.
"You say you love me, and you will do anything for me?" I asked her.
"Yes, my love i will, including killing myself for you." She speaked like someone under the infuluence of expired gin.
"How can you vow to kill yourself for someone who you don't even know wether he loves you?" I wondered inwardly.
"Okay, i want you to kiss me." i placed my order.
"Only that?" She quired.
"Yes only that, is it too muh to ask of?" I asked.
"No darling, i will just do that, just close your eyes" She requested, and i obeyed.
"Mmmmmm...." was the heavenly moan, that i gutted out when her lips knocked mine.
"Jeez, this gurl get sweet lips ooo."I nearly screamed.
She continue showering me with a french kiss, and returned it with careressing her sexy builted body.
She in other hand, left my lips and advanced down my thigh, she brought it out and put it in his mouth.
"What is this girl doing? Does she want to bit off my preek? Was she a vampire?" This are the question pondering my mind as i briefly commit my safety into hands of God, not minding what am into, my once cathecism teacher taught me some years ago that God answers prayer in any condition.
I stylishly perfomed the sign of cross on my laps, not minding to do it as instructed by the Roman catholic orders.
She inserted my John Thomas into her mouth and set to action, was enjoying the pleasure when all of a sudden she start biting it,i thought it was the part of the action but the biting rate increased.
"My preek ooo, my preek ooo." i shouted as i looked into her eyes and sees that her eyes have changed from it's normal colour to red.
"My preek ooo, my preek ooo!." i continue shouting as i waked up, still filling something biting me in my down side.
I jumped outside to see Kenny and his girl enjoying there meal.
"My preeek ooo!" i continue shouting as whatever that is biting me increase it's biting rate to highest degree celsius.
"Wetin do your preek." Kenny quired, running to my aid.
"Na that girl Rose , Rose dey my preek." I speaks glibbrishly.
Kenny and Nkasi bursted into laughter at what i speaked, but that does not stop him from inserting his hand into my shots, and behold there is a big COCROACH. With a big head.
"So na this bastard , they torment me and my John Thomas abi?" I asked angrily as i crushed the poor thing into pieces.
"Hahahahahaha, so na this be the Rose." Kenny asked as he countinues laughing.
I ignored him as, do a sign of cross thanking God that it was all a dream.
Something still kept on wondering me, FOOD! Yes, food, am farmished...
Copyright©- Presley Kutty
kuttyblingz@gmail.com

Lol, not only you, i av a buddy who has dat as a surname too...

Macelliot:

Hey guy! Why you dey mention my "Surname"?

Rounakid:
Lol, not only you, i av a buddy who has dat as a surname too...

Lolz. Nice one!

Tnx for followinq...

Macelliot:
Lolz. Nice one!

Typing...

After eating the delicious meal Plantain and beans prepared by Nkasi, i went outside to take some cool airs.
One thing that i like about Nkasi, is about her great command of dish setup.
She is the kind of woman who can snatch another lady's husband with just ordinary cooking, all she have to do is just to convice the man to eat the food, after that which he will sent his present wife packing.
"Wetin dey smell like this self?" I asked my self as i sitted on the Guava Tree on our compound.
A rheotrical question indeed.
"Why this mama Nkechi go dey pour beans water here?"I asked no one particulary.
As the odour emanating from the place, became unbearable, i decided to went inside and join Kenny and his girl on their discussion.
"Nkasi you sabi cook ooo." I complimented, trying to hit out topic.
"Thanks." she replied.
"I know say when Kenny marry you, na this kind thing he go dey enjoy." I furthermore, shining my 32(teeth).
Kenny give me one deadly look with frown, i just smiled.
I futhermore tried raising numerous topics, but anyone i bring on, just fade off like wet candle, while the continue there separate discussion between only two them.
This really got me pissed off, i angrily rise up from the bed and made for our wardrope with a thought of leaving them and taking a stroll.
"Kutty where you dey go?" Kenny quired.
"I dey go heaven" I gave him the best answer.
"Hahahaha, you sure say they go gree you enter? Anyway greet my Grandfather for me when you reached." He respond laughing hard with her girl.
"You dey mad, i tell you say na Hell i dey go, wey u dey ask me make i greet your Grandfather?"I tried being rude.
He just laughed it off as i head to the exit.
I went to Tony's house direct, on reaching there, i was informed of his absence then i left his place, a few thought running on my mind on where next to.
Yes! Rose, thats the best place, Rose my crush, the girl i have known for so long now, but i have'nt yet summoned courage to express my emotional feeling to her.
Albeit, i have started going to her place, i have also known that she have friendzone me.
I bring out my phone to notify her of my visitation, but something in me advised me against it, knowing fully well that she will request me to get her something, and am not with enough money at the moment, even at home.
Yes, that is Rose for you, she is type of lady that can be best described as Golddigger, all she want is just money.
Once she founds out that you are Maga, thats the end.
I knocked when i reached her house.
"Yes, who is there, come in?" Comes a beautiful voice from inside.
"Kutty, it was you? You did'nt even notify me of your visitation."She quired.
"Yes, i just want to take you by suprise." I responded smilling.
"Idiot you want person wey gon spend for you dis evening." I nearly said.
"You can have a sit." She offered, as i get sitted.
"Ooow, am farmished, i have'nt cook since i returned from school."Comes Rose.
That is one thing i hate about this girl, she was expecting me to ask her why, or perhaph give her money to buy something.
I just chuckled trying to eradicate the topic.
"Eeehen, when are you people taking una semester exam sef?" I mistakenly asked an Ss3 Student, all in the quest to clear topic.
I tried many more to raise a topic, but when i gave up was when she stuffed her ear with eardrum, listening to music.
"This girl wicked ooo," I murmured within me.
Was there for over one hour, not that i don't want to leave, but because of the fresh laps and boob she exposed for me to see.
"Omo God dey try wella ooo." I said within me, admiring her sexy laps and boobs since she is only putting on Bumpshot and Showbreast singlet as blouse.
"My John Thomas instantly starts rising up.
"C'mon you no go dey well." I cautioned it within me but he never heed.
Was still feasting my eyes, when i heard a knock.
A dark tall guy on Red shot and black polo enters the room.
Rose immediately rose up to giv him a hug.
I suppose he was her boyfriend, or so i thought.
"Kutty, please, i would be going out now, why don't you stand, lemme lead you towards the gate." She offered politely.
"Eeeeerm... Am about to go self." I tried covering my shame.
"Okay, good, stand lemme lead you out." She said.
"Never mind, you can start preparing so i don't waste your time, i can see my self through." I responded.
I tries standing but my John Thomas would'nt agree.
"Cha! Konji na bastard ooo." I mummured.
I thinked of what to do, and finally decide to adapt a new step, i stood up and brought my two legs together, adaptin a new wonderful step.
"Bros, why you dey walk like that na?" The visitor asked.
"Nothing, na so i dey walk when i dey happy." I responded as i head to exit.
Copyright© - Presley Kutty.

wow! u got me laughing with dis story of urs,truth be told you've got a intresting writeup

lizbethy:
wow! u got me laughing with dis story of urs,truth be told you've got a intresting writeup

tnx sweerie, prepare to lauqh more, jux help me invite readers...

passing by...............

Nice story, bro... I finally commented. But cross-check what you type before submission.. Thumbs up rounakid.

Ajibo111:
passing by...............

*flaqs him down* wait Keke carry me go polling centre, make i qo draw souls for my man flw1759. *touqs out*

michaelmo11:
Nice story, bro... I finally commented. But cross-check what you type before submission.. Thumbs up rounakid.

lol... Tnx plz always comment... Dnt be a stinqy reader....

[b]Helo my Gud people of Litteraturelanders, as flow1759 tori don dey finish, i no want make una stop to dey laff, datz why i invited all of una make una come follow my thread and continue lauqhin...
KUTTY AND THE GHETTO, IS THE STORY YOU WOULD'NT REGRET FOLLOWING.
I hereby invite dis ppl,(even those dat snubbed my initial invitation).
ABEG, NA GOD I TAKE BEG UN, MAKE UNA NO JUST READ AND GO, YOUR COMMENTS IS ALL I CRAVES FOR, WETHER APPRECIATION OR CRITICSM.
flow1759 d9ty7 stuff46 Ishilove Obinnua onemansquad Texanomaly Niwdog Ogbarmey MightyFortress, MaziOmenuko, Ishilove,
HumbledbYGrace(f), Hunnydropps(f), Bobbystanley
(m), Freiburger(m), FozzieBear(m), Hadeehart101(f),
eppysold(m), luscioustrish(f), LarrySun(m),
supernet4(f), cdamsel(f), sunriseb, liusimbs(f),
Lolaabokoku(f), precyluv(f), Coolval222(m),
specialguest(f), Ojiematthewgg, Whizkay(m), Graphy(f),
olashas(f), kelmich(m), Tascocent(m), Tochiilo(m),
Samueldona(m), folowo(m), petokey, Idowuogbo(f),
BIGVAJINA(f),highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez, plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee, Kunle106, Darus05,ezeigbo194.[/b]

"Kutty you don come back?" Kenny asked me when i returned from Rose's house, meeting her and her girl lying on the bed playing love birds.
"No, I still dey there." I gave him the best answer.
"Kutty welcome oo" Nkasi greeted me with a wink.
"Wetin this girl dey insunuate self? She wan make i do her iranu or what?"i asked my self inwardly, as i respond her greetings.
"I took of my clothe and head to the pot to do the needful.
"Kutty you go fit go buy wine outside make we take dey ball as night don reach?" Kenny asked as i finished eating.
"Yes na, i fit wey the money make i go?"
"Take, buy Royal Porche, na 500 them dey sell am." He said offering me money.
"You don be the oga now wey i be your errand boy abi? God dey" I dare not say it out, or i else will forget buying the drink.
On my way returning from where i went to buy the drink, i sighted one lady before me,from the back view only, i concluded that the front view will be a great pleasure to behold.
I instantly increased my step with a bide to meet the girl or perhaph collect her number.
"Helo pretty lady." I greeted when i approach her.
"Hi, how may i help you?"
"Please my i know your name?" I asked.
"Okay am Caro, urs?" She gave typical nigerian respond.
She was indeed Caro, very beautiful with an accurate frame supported with gigantic Manchester(Boobs) and Nickiminiajic(Lol) Barca(Butt), at that point, i began singing popular Nigerian pop star hit Track "Caro" by Wizkid.
"Caro ur body neccesary... Caro cary history... Caro dey make my head dey bend... Blablablabla..."i have instantly forgeted that i am in conversation with someone, her tap brought me back to face the reality.
"Helo Mr, you have'nt tell me you name." She said.
"My name... Eeeerm... my name is..."
"Oh my God, am i forgeting my name because of Ukwu(waist) or what?" i asked my self, as i stood there stammering trying to remember my name.
As luck will have it, i finally remembered it.
"My name is Kutty, and i live down that side." I indicated pointing my finger to the direction.
"Do you live around here?"i further asked.
"Yes, i lives behind that Central Mosque over there." She pointed her finger to the direction.
"Eeeerm... Caro, hope you want mind me having your number?" I requested.
"I don't give out my number like that, do you have BB so i can give you my Pin?" She responded.
"BB ke? Wey i no see money buy new casing change my Nokia c3?" I asked inwardly.
"Yes, i have but my BB have started hanging recently, was still at the working place, and the repairer said it will take him about two weeks to be done with the work." I fired gigantic lie.
"I would'nt like to wait for such long before being it touch with you, kindly give me your number please." I added.
"07062545544, you can reach me anytime." she called out her number to me, as we parts way.
"Guys, i don land ooo." I barged into the room without knocking only to see Kenny playing with her girl's boobs.
"Kutty you don dey craze ni? U no fit knock again ba?" Kenny fired stupid question at me.
"Make better thunder fire you, shey i go knock before i enter the room wey me and you dey pay house rent because of this your worwor babe?" I dare not say it out, if i don't want mortal combat to ensue between us.
"I dey sorry, i no no say una don enta Indian mood." I said laughing, and they laughed too.
"See cup ooo." Nkasi said offering two cups.
"Make we call Akor nao, make he come join us." I suggested.
"You sure say, he don return from work?" Kenny quired.
"Yes, he don return, i saw light through im curtain when i dey return." i assured.
"Okay, go call him nao." Mastek Kenny sent me again.

Rounakid:
[b]Helo my Gud people of Litteraturelanders, as flow1759 tori don dey finish, i no want make una stop to dey laff, datz why i invited all of una make una come follow my thread and continue lauqhin...
KUTTY AND THE GHETTO, IS THE STORY YOU WOULD'NT REGRET FOLLOWING.
I hereby invite dis ppl,(even those dat snubbed my initial invitation).
ABEG, NA GOD I TAKE BEG UN, MAKE UNA NO JUST READ AND GO, YOUR COMMENTS IS ALL I CRAVES FOR, WETHER APPRECIATION OR CRITICSM.
flow1759 d9ty7 stuff46 Ishilove Obinnua onemansquad Texanomaly Niwdog Ogbarmey MightyFortress, MaziOmenuko, Ishilove,
HumbledbYGrace(f), Hunnydropps(f), Bobbystanley
(m), Freiburger(m), FozzieBear(m), Hadeehart101(f),
eppysold(m), luscioustrish(f), LarrySun(m),
supernet4(f), cdamsel(f), sunriseb, liusimbs(f),
Lolaabokoku(f), precyluv(f), Coolval222(m),
specialguest(f), Ojiematthewgg, Whizkay(m), Graphy(f),
olashas(f), kelmich(m), Tascocent(m), Tochiilo(m),
Samueldona(m), folowo(m), petokey, Idowuogbo(f),
BIGVAJINA(f),highbeetohbadt, Psalmwise, buoye1, toykathy, kingphilip, Livingwalker, horpe132, adegwurulez,virtuous900, waistaa, Bunsky, 4kizo, jonsnow92, Rajy00, seuncyber, ritababe, follyshade, Emperortj93, Emmykul4love, pcaliphate,ultraawesome, Emmeritus, peterswagg, spawnx, Madawaki01, yemi2plus, chistar01, trinityo42, Francuiz, Tgold1, dazzy4real, donifez, plainmirror, emmadejust, odunharry, AmiableJay, Double194, smith403, foxy_flow, ERF, Tobiee, Kunle106, Darus05,ezeigbo194.[/b]

Present sir!

Lolaabokoku:
Present sir!

welcome ma...

"You don call am?" Kenny quired as i returned.
"Yes, i don call am, in fact he dey come now now."
"Oya na, make we dey drink dey wait for am." Kenny suggested.
"Oooouch... This drink dey hot." Kenny pointed out, as he gulped a mouthful from cup.
"Gerrroooout! You be womane." I mocked.
I picked up the second cup to have the taste of wine, God this drink was more like a hot water down the throat, but i never raise any complaint in-order not to alert Kenny who i have mocked initially concerning the same circumstances.
"Sweet heart, would'nt you like to have a taste?" Kenny said with a flawless English adressing Nkasi,i guess the Royal Porche have started speaking for him.
"No, never mind." She responded.
"Akor, you don land?"Kenny greeted the incoming Akor in a typical Nigeria way.
"See drink ooo." I said offering Akor the drinking cup after exchanging greeting with him for the second time.
"Aaaah, na Royal?" Akor demacated as he picked the bottle.
"Yes you sabi am before?" Kenny quired.
"Yes na, Royal na my drink na." Akor replied as he gulped down the drink.
"Akor e be like say this thing no dey hot you for throat?" i wanted to know.
I have been watching the Edo boy gulping the drink as if it's Juice or something like that, when am struggling with any mouthful gulp i made.
"Hian, Hot kwa? E no dey hot me ooo."He replied.
"Guy i no dey drink again ooo." Kenny announced.
"Hahahahaha, you no be man, just this small thing you take, you don tire." Akor mocked.
"No be say i don tire, it's just that i no dey for drinking mood today."Akor defended.
"Okay i don hear." Akor concluded as Kenny retired to bed with her girlfriend.
After all my efforts trying to take in more gulps failed abortive, as it seems like the drink is getting more hotter on any gulp, i decided to resign, leaving almost half of the drink to Akor.
"Hahahahaha, you too don tire?" Akor mocked.
"No, i never tire i just want make you dey enjoy yourself." I spewed a fat lie.
"Hahahahaha, iffa hear."Akor said as he continue mocking us.
After some minutes, i realise that the drink is coming on me slowly, so i decided to lie on the floor, since Kenny and her girl have already occupied the bed.
Akor on the other hand was sitting on our only plastic backchair, spewing all kind of trashs, telling us how he went to drinking competition of Seven bottles Royal Porche, and how he won it after emptying seven bottles of the drinks.
Kenny and her girlfriend have engange in bird discussion,that kind lovers discussion wich is don by wispering, it took them so far that they don't even take note of what is happening in the room.
So am only left with the drunk talkertive Akor, after being fed up by his fat lies wich he kept on throwing at me.
I decide to force sleep on my self, i close my two ears with my hands and shut my eyes so tight, praying for sleep to swipe me off from Parrot Akor, and it did.
"Was still on the middle of the sleep when i heard.
"Patatatatatata." a liquid like thing on me.
"Kenny rain they fall?" I quired still in the middle of sleep.
"Kutty you be mumu ooo, see Akor they piss for your body ooo."Kenny alarmed.
"Chisos! Akor why nao?" I asked jumping up only to see Akor standing with his pant down, and preek at hand peeing down.
"You dey mad, no be outside i dey dey piss? Abi u don dey sleep for bush."He responded.
I felt like throwing him Superman punches, but i don't dare do that to a proffessional mechanic like Akor, not only when he is drunk.
Yes, Akor is the kind of person whose drink made stronger and also madder(if there is a word like that).
I just left outside to clean up, as Kenny and Nkasi kept laughing at me, while Akor is busy raging that i should'nt lie on the bush side next time.
Imagine! Big Gobe...

this promises to be an interesting one, and i intend on following too. Ive also nt reli fnishd the first few pages, bt jux had to mke dis comment, forgv me, if uve already corrected urself. I realised u tried using the simple present tense togeda with the past tense, i reli thnk dats nt going too well. I'll advise u maintain a particular tense, the past tense i thnk even makes it easier. I stand to be corrected anyway. Tanx more faya.

samtep:
this promises to be an interesting one, and i intend on following too. Ive also nt reli fnishd the first few pages, bt jux had to mke dis comment, forgv me, if uve already corrected urself. I realised u tried using the simple present tense togeda with the past tense, i reli thnk dats nt going too well. I'll advise u maintain a particular tense, the past tense i thnk even makes it easier. I stand to be corrected anyway. Tanx more faya.

noted... Tnx sire...

Nice 1 bro. Keep it up bt work on ur spellings.
...Following...

d piss got me laughing real hard well done. nack us more update

cho25bc:
Nice 1 bro. Keep it up bt work on ur spellings.
...Following...

u are welcome swthrt

jeremie97:
d piss got me laughing real hard well done. nack us more update

ur wish is granted, tnx for followin invite more readers

cho25bc:
Nice 1 bro. Keep it up bt work on ur spellings.
...Following...

u are welcome swthrt.

I woked up around 9.am the nextday being Wednesday feeling so exhausted.
Kenny and his girl Nkasi were no where to be found,only me and Akor.
Akor was lying like a log of wood on the floor.
I went outside,clean my face, and head directly to pot, i did'nt bother brushing up.
I did'nt even plan warming the food, All that was runing in my mind is just on how to eat food wether cold or warmed.
"Hmmmm, God bless Nkasi and Kenny, they have warmed the meal."i muttered when i opened the pot and felt the warmth of the food.
I scooped a large qauntity, and retire to bed to enjoy my meal, before i fell down.
"Uaaaaaah!." I hear a growl-like sound behind me.
"Akor you don wake up."i quired at the now standing Akor.
"Yes ooo, oboi no be small thing ooo, yesterday tight ooo."Akor remarked.
"Mumu, i think say na you be the king of alcohol... As your name na Akor shortform of alcohol." I jested him mockingly.
"Oboi, forget dat thing,me i go follow you chop ooo." Akor announced.
"No problem, go find spoon, food plenty."i responded.
After we finished eating.
Akor retired to his house, am sure he ain't going work again that day.
I in other hand retire to the bed to catch some rest.
After lying down for some minutes without any sign of sleeping.
I decided to pick my phone to keep myself busy.
Was still operating it, when an idea struck my mind,Caro, yes Caro, the lady i met previous day on my way returning from where i went to buy wine.
"Eeeehen, comfirm make i call this girl."i muttered.
"Helo,pleas who am speaking with."was what comes from the other end, as the receiver accepted the call.
"My name is Kutty, Caro right?"I tried being fluent.
"Yes, is Caro, Kutty where did i know you please?" She quired from the other end.
"Am the Guy you gave your number yesternight."
"Ooow, Kutty the one i met with Royal Porshe?"
"You dey mad, na dat feature you go use describe me? I be drunkardd for your eyes?." I nearly speaked out.
"Yes na me ooo, Howdy na?"i responded.
We continue discussing, we later concluded by setting up a meetup date at Golden Eve Hotel the next day.
I instantly starts dancing Shakiti Bobo.
Am sure the tommorow will be a memeorable date.
"Na which cloth i go wear go self?"I asked rheotrical question as i begin making arrangement on how to go about the date.
I went to bring out my wallet, and counted the money on it, total of #1500.
"I need to take like 2k to this journey."
I thoughted of what to do, i later concluded that i will borrow from Akor or Kenny.
"Which shoe i go wear sef, this my shoe don get problem sef,na Akor's shoe sure pass." i muttered as i set off to Akor's room to collect his shoe and perhaph waste some time there.

nice story @OP
Please work on ur diction. I also noticed that u wrote 'her girlfriend' instead of 'His girlfriend'.
Nice Comedy tho. ....am following

Chai. Bro thanks for this story the story got me laughing that my siblings tut the malaria that is disturbing me has upgraded to madness... Keep it up bro, but always check ur work very well before submitting it nd try to keep frequent update

Where dis guy na?
Kutty o!

cho25bc:
Where dis guy na?
Kutty o!

yh sweerie, sowie mah mobile broke down, buh all z well nw, will update today...

The Sun glows through the window.
"Kooookoro kooo."was the sound created by the roosters.
I woke up a little bit exitced, i thoughted hard, to know wether i can be able to come up with the hand behind my exictement that early morning.
But i was'nt be able to come up with the answer.
"Whats wrong with me?"
"Would it be the weed me and Kenny smoked yesterday evening that is doing the wonderful work?"
I fired multi rheotrical question to my self.
Was still in the pool of my thought when the event of the previous day came playing on my mind.
Ranging from the time i woke up, and the phonecall i made with Caro.
"Yes, i have a date today, that must be the source of my exictment that morning.
I woked up, to see that Kenny was out as usuall.
"Where this guy dey go this day self?"I asked rheotrically.
I head to the pot direct, after checking our wall clock to comfirm the time being 9.am.
I met the pot empty.
I started raging inwardly, cursing Kenny for consuming the whole food at house before he left for his whereabout.
"Eno go better for Kenny." I muttered.
I thoughted of what to eat that morning, an idea of buying fast food ran across my mind but i Fashi it away.
Since i don't want to remove even a penny from the 1500k reserved for my date.
I decide to meet Akor, maybe i can find something to eat at his house and also collect the shoe he promised to lend me the previous day.
On reaching there, i met Akor's girl Patience.
We broke into conversation, one thing that i like that lady for is hers sense of humour.
Spiced with lively attribute, beside that she would have been the clear image of Chika Ike of nollywood, if not for his little, or betterstill tiny boobs.
I was served with Tasty "Moi Moi" All thanks to Patience who prepared it for Akor, as she stay overnight.
After spending 2-3 hours there, i returned to our room,after checking the watch to comfirm the time being 2pm.
I decide to catch some nap, since the the agreed time for the date is 4pm.
I lay on the bed, with my eyes on our old ceiling, waiting for sleep to swipe me away.
"Tuturi... Turi... Turi..." Ranged my Motorola Phone.
I immediately rushed to pick the phone.
Before i could reach it, it was already at the centre of our room.
Those using Motorola "My-X1" clarify me.
Buy a Motorola Phone and activate the Vibration Mode.
I swear, if you are not careful, it can fall of your pocket if you are on a bike, and it will still overtake the bike.
No exaggeration intend, get the phone and comfirm it yourself.
"I rose up to pick the phone before it would take further movement.
"Helo... Kutty."was the voice from the other end, immediately i picked the phone.
"Yeah, Rose Sweedy, How u?"i responded.
"Am fine, you no longer ask of me right?" She asked, with the tone of sadness.
"Is not that sweedy, my phone spoiled, and it was still at the repairing center."
"Ooooh, sorry, Have you bought a new phone?" she quired.
"No am just speaking with a friends phone."
"Okay, sorry about that, i just called to know how you are faring"
"Okay thanks, for your caring." i responded.
We bade goodbye and the line went dead.
"E be like say this girl don dy feel me now ooo." I thoughted.
I instantly starts singing "Feeling The Nigga" By Nigerian Hop star D'banj.
I picked up my phone from the side bed where i kept it after answering call, and scroll to phone setting, in other to turn off the vibration mode off.
All my efforts to turn it off proved abortive, as it displayed "System Denied" Each time i try to deactivate it.
"Tony u no go see better thing for giving me this kin phone." I muttered.
As i dropped the phone on the bed, and my eyes is becoming heavy.
In a blink of eye, i have felled asleep.
I was woken by my ringing phone, thankgod for the pillow i used to block it's way, only God would have known where it will sped to.
I picked the phone, the caller being Kenny.
"Kutty, u dey house?" He asked.
"Yes, any pro?" i quired.
"Not at all, make you cook small Rice make we use do dinner." He stated.
"Na only satan go punish u wella, u left the house since morning after finishing the remaining food in house, now you don dey give order make i cook."
"Hahahaha, no vex, i go Nkasi dem house."
I angrily cut the call some seconds later.
I checked the time.
"Oh My God! Is 3.32pm already." i yelled as i rushed out to take my bath.

"Helo, are you there already?"I quired as picked up my ringing phone.
"Yes, i have been waiting for you for some time now." Caro respond from the other end.
"Oooh, sorry, i will be there in a jiffy."I finalised as i rushed on with my dressings.
Pocketed my condom, and some other neccessary tools, for the the action i predicted to happen.
I stepped out of our gate buttoning up my shirt, only to collide with incoming Patience, and our lips jamed,and she expertly convert it to kissing.
I don't know how it happened, i concluded that she must have planned it, as she have started giving me greenlights recently.
"Haaaah, Patience na wetin nao? you no dey see road again?" I asked when i regained my lost mind and push her away from me.
"As if you did'nt like it." she gave out a wicked smile, and one disgusting wink which she considered being sexy,but i considered it opposite.
I looked at her in suprise, as she catwalked in.
Anyway, i have no much time to sought it out with her,as i have pending appointment at Golden Eve Hotel.
I did'nt bother boarding a Bike, since Golden Eve is'nt faraway from our street, just a 7-10 Minutes walk.
I found out that passer-by are all gazing at me as i walk-by.
"Na why this people they eye me like this?"
"Na so i fine reach?"
"Abi dem never see person on Suit before?"
All this question are running on my mind like tapwater.
"Just dey bounce, dey go them dey feel your attire." One of my mind told me.
"Idiot, na so admiring gaze dey be?"Another voice challenged the former.
"You dey craze, na how im dey be? Bros no mind am, just dey bounce, they are just feeling the nigga."The first voice defended, which i concluded, to take it's advice.
"Bros eee, that look no be better look ooo, better know what to do oo." The second voice adviced.
"Una no go shutup! Jobless folks!" I cautioned the dual voice, and they heeded.
"Open the door for me." I commanded the gatekeeper, who i noted was advancing back to lock the gate when he sighted me.
"Sorry, young man, we don't allow your type into this hotel." The Gatekeeper vomitted out.
"Young man, are you mad? What do you mean by that? Do you know me?" I fired.
"I don't know you, but i guess you are psycollogically abnormal."The gatekeeper suprised me with fluent grammar.
"Save me those insults, huh...? What did i do to desrve this insults."I quirred, fire visibe on my eyes.
"Is not as if i am insulting you, but no sane man can put on suit with bathroom slippers." The gatekeeper vommited out.
"Blood of God! Did i?" I shouted as i looked at my feet.
Honestly, what is wrong with me this days? Am i so unminded that i forget to put on my shoes."I thoughted.
"No wonder, people are staring at me as if am a one of the mad men hovering around the street." I felt like crying.
"Hmmmm, but what are you doing when you forgot to put on your shoes, knowing too well that you are on suits"The gatekeeper quired a sign of pitiness in him.
"Honestly, i don't know, it seems like is my over-hurryness in other not to miss an appointment." I cried out to the gate keeper.
My phone beeped, witha a text, from Caro, informing me that she is leaving, the she can't wait again, that am trying to play tricks on her.
I thought of going back home to wear my shoe, but by the time i muste have get back Caro must have left.
I also thoughted of wearing the bathroom slippers to meet my new date.
That one is also bad idea.
"Is there any other option? I asked myself rheotrically.
A question which i answered my self.
Yes, there is an option, convicing the gatekeeper to lend me his shoe.
Since there is no other possible option, i opt to it.
He obliged to grant my requet after some minutes of persuation to find a token for him.
I marched to table 32 as directed by Caro with my borrowed shoe.
On sighting her from afar, i noticed that she is with a small girl.
A girl of about 8years old.
-------To be continued---------------
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Mehn bros u re loosing ur fans ccus of sluggish update. But nice one doh atlist u help to kill my boring ness I like ya story

Nice story,last update was good but you need to work on your spelling ....Peace out