https://only1jude./2015/06/06/10-things-you-need-to-ask-yourself-before-ending-a-marriage/

While a relationship can never be deemed as perfect, there is a compromised definition that most people are happy with. Feeling safe, secure and happy in a marriage is usually at the top of the list. So if you find your relationship lacking in these three major categories, it might be time for you to walk out. Ask yourself these 10 questions before you sign on the dotted line.

1. Is this what I signed up for? Marriages require a lot of adjustments but that doesn’t mean that you have to completely alter your definition of happy. While occasional changes are okay, if you find yourself compromising at the cost of your happiness all the time, you need to have a serious talk with your partner.

2. Do I want a happy marriage or a happy spouse? There is a sea of difference between an unhappy marriage and a difficult spouse. If you feel that he is the problem, talk to him and understand what the issue is. If on the other hand the relationship itself poses a problem, you need to take action.

3. Have we tried our best? Not I, but we. Ask the question to both of you, if you have each put in the required effort to make the marriage work.

4. Can outside help us? The Indian society thrives on, ‘What will the neighbours think?’ but don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help from a counsellor or a trusted family member or even a friend. Sometimes a third person can give you a better perspective on your problems.

5. What is my role in this? We love to be victims and it’s always easier to blame the other person than honestly divide blame. So before you hire that lawyer evaluate your role in the relationship and whether or not correcting or changing it can save your marriage.

6. Does he know what I am going through? If not, then make sure you tell him what your problems are. Chances are the things that you feel are beyond repair could be dealt with with one serious heart-to-heart.

7. Do I still love him? One of the most common marriage jokes is that after the first year love jumps out of the window. And it’s true. While the butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of love no longer exists, there is a different kind of warm chemistry that comes with marriage. Make sure you don’t confuse the routine of your marriage with falling out of love. It is a phase that every relationship goes through.

8. Are my standards for marriage realistic? Growing up in India most of our marriage expectations come from Bollywood movies or romantic books or social media stalking. Don’t rely on any of those; rather be honest and realistic in what you expect from your partner and your marriage. We are not saying don’t dream. Dream, but keep the standards achievable.

9. Do I want to end this marriage because of someone else? You could have fallen in love with someone you met at work or you might feel that the marriage cannot work because his family is too interfering. Ask yourself if the issue with the other person could be resolved or has it damaged your marriage too much already.

10. What will I miss most about my spouse and this marriage? This is perhaps your most important question. It gives you an insight on how life without this marriage would be. If you are sure that you can survive without it, take a decision to walk out.

Ok

My dear,marriage is for better for worse, wat ever happens in marriage is till death.. let us have that mentality so that we wud be very careful as we choose our life partners. Divorce to me is only permited in the grounds of infidelity.. happiness or no happiness, choose wisely before saying I do