Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

Life is not a bed of roses, Has long has there is life there is hope
You have to keep faith and raise your child the best way possible, let the child be your pride and joy, work on your career and with time a good man would come along. Keep faith

in all honesty, i think its possible. I have a friend who lost his dad when he was about 15 and had 2 other siblings. His mom married again and the man has taken care of all the kids like they're his. You're young and you sound like you have a lot of love to give. Reserve it for your child. Concentrate on that and it'll carry you through even if you never find anyone. Finally, forgive and learn to love yourself as a complete person (not someone who needs someone else to feel complete)

Might modify later

Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

Trust me @op when your child comes no man will be more important anymore....you are only four months pregnant, that means you have five more months of depression. The solution is simple- focus on your career, if you love movies...watch lots of them(tv series esp), if you love books...read a lot...bottom line is YOU AND YOUR BABY'S WELLBEING IS PARAMOUNT FOR NOW!!

FrancisTony:
Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

She's 35 and really you think it's not okay if she's bothered?

Ofcourse you can get married. But first, focus on having you baby and on your work.


Live your life Even if you dnt get a man who loves you and ur baby. Channel all the love you can give to ur baby when you give birth and you will feel so good.

It isn't compulsury to marry. Thank God u having a baby now.

Dnt make d mistake of hating the child if he turn out to look like d father.

FrancisTony:
Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

Why can't marriage be her utmost priority?

Tashaamania:

She's 35 and really you think it's not okay if she's bothered?

She shouldn't be bothered, biko.

That's if she has something going for her.(No offense)

My dear u can still very much find a man. You have not just found ur own. I wld blame you for TTC without been legally married. Guys are cunny am so sorry to say this but most of them are good at taking desperate ladies for granted. U actually let urself mislead by another man. But my only suggestion is take it to jesus nd always do the right thing. Yours wld come at its own time. Cheers

So the 2nd guy left recently? Because from what you said, he left because you got pregnant and the pregnancy is just 4 months. Am I right?

Don't worry, he will come back, but we can't tell when. For men like him, it may take week, months and sometimes years to get remorseful and retrace their steps. You are not a bad person, you don't sound like one. You sound very honest, and I commend you highly for that.

Also consider putting up your a profile picture.
Keep hope alive. Love can be found in unlikely places.

Shollypopzz:


Why can't marriage be her utmost priority?

To the extent of wailing?

Her life, her business.

FrancisTony:

She shouldn't be bothered, biko.

That's if she has something going for her.(No offense)

She should not be bothered because you will marry her at the end of the day, abi?
Something going for her, by that you mean - a successful career, right? Is that all you think a woman want?
what if she doesn't?
Hope you would tell this same thing to a single 35year old lady somewhat related to you.
I know right, easier said behind the screen..

Chai... My sister all is well.. Endure... Its a pity am in my 20s

FrancisTony:
Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

I taya o. Like say she no get vision and purpose for her life. Na why them just dey fall into some useless men hand. For her to know the guy never loved her was when he asked her to abort. No reasonable right thinking human being that knows the value of a human being will ask anybody to abort talk less of his own spam. .



Tufiaaaaaaaaa unto some men



anyway your name sake don talk am finish. He say

You will definitely get married. Do not think your romantic life is over because you're having a child. You may be alone for awhile but when you do find someone, make sure he loves you for you. But also keep an eye out, because you can appear very vulnerable, don't let a man take advantage of you.
Learn to live and survive by yourself, on your own merit, without a man's help. That's strength and character, goodluck.

Abeg let me hear word jare. Shame no dey catch you to talk some mumu things ni.shey o'nkere si abi o dagba si

Tashaamania:
She should not be bothered because you will marry her at the end of the day, abi?
Something going for her, by that you mean - a successful career, right? Is that all you think a woman want?
what if she doesn't?
Hope you would tell this same thing to a single 35year old lady somewhat related to you.
I know right, easier said behind the screen..

FrancisTony:
Oh really? So, marriage is your uptmost priority?

*Yawns* Next

how did you come to the conclusion that marriage is her upmost priority? Cos she brought her issue here?

Won't be surprised if you're married but here seeing someone who wishes to marry as some issue. ..

Everybody needs love and that one person you can talk to about just everything, so it isn't out of place. .

Op, yeah I think it's possible..

FrancisTony:

To the extent of wailing?

Her life, her business.

no mind them. No wonder they come here every time to write stories that touch. Like they don't have any other thing going on for them except man

MarvellousGod:
how did you come to the conclusion that marriage is her upmost priority? Cos she brought her issue here?

Btw, Ain't you married?

It's not her uptmost priority and she brought it on Nairaland? Wailing?

I'm not married.

I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

MarvellousGod:
how did you come to the conclusion that marriage is her upmost priority? Cos she brought her issue here?

Btw, Ain't you married?

he is COMFORTABLY and HAPPILY married because he didn't make marriage his all in all . He didn't carry it on his head like cross of calvary

mrwonlasewonie:
he is COMFORTABLY and HAPPILY married because he didn't make marriage his all in all . He didn't carry it on his head like cross of calvary

Me? married? Mbanu!

click and search for this topic that was posted today: To Beautiful and Classic Girls searching for husbands. It will surely give you some answers

FrancisTony:

It's not her uptmost priority and she brought it on Nairaland? Wailing?

I'm not married.

Alright, that's not enough reason to conclude marriage is her topmost priority. ..

Alright.

It is not all the time life gives us what we want. The good thing is that you have a child to call call your own
you have a job that can afford you to take care of your child. No body is panel beating you or turning you into a sex machine. Dupe tie. If you don't marry you will not die. Life will still go on

Shantelle80:
I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

FrancisTony:

Me? married? Mbanu!

you told me that you were married

@op never say never, that's my mantra, life some times is not always predictable, as long as there is life there is hope.

My good friend was single handerly train by their mum the separated with father when he was two now 33 yrs lateer he first guy is a lt col and a military oberserver in UN earn 6000 dollor monthly while the other works in aa first bank abu dabi they are really spoitling there mum while the pop is roasting in kd

mrwonlasewonie:
you told me that you were married

10+ years to come.

Moreover