FrancisTony:

10+ years to come.

Shantelle80:
I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

There's nothing wrong in wanting someone to start a family and spend the rest of your life with...absolutely nothing.

That most men won't date a 35+ single mom is not something that should get you upset, certainly not while you're pregnant.
All you gotta do now is focus on carrying your child to full-term and taking care of yourself...stay beautiful, stay attractive, keep your figure and attitude right.

When you do all of this as well as developing yourself intellectually and career-wise, trust me, even when you tell most men you're a mother they gon' find it hard to believe...

Please guys, portraying me as the kind of woman whom only purpose in life is to find a man to take care of her is just not fair.
Actually i think making marriage the last box to check on my list is part of the reason why i'm where i am today.
You see when i was 15, i made myself a promise: i would date no boy/man, no matter what, before i graduated from college and find a job. So i entered the dating game at only 25/26. Then i had an hard time finding a man because so many of them told me that i was a "good/fine girl" but that they "couldn't handle a woman like me" without even giving me a chance. The less educated ones told me they would feel unsecured or challenged by me. The equally or more educated ones told me they needed to focus on making great carreers so they wanted a stay at home mom or at least a woman with a less time consuming job to handle their household. So i was stucked in the middle. I never thought that being married is the ultimate goal in a woman's life nor that it is the thing that would define me. I just wanted to find love and share it. Is that unreasonable ?

It's well with you

Shantelle80:
Please guys, portraying me as the kind of woman whom only purpose in life is to find a man to take care of her is just not fair.
Actually i think making marriage the last box to check on my list is part of the reason why i'm where i am today.
You see when i was 15, i made myself a promise: i would date no boy/man, no matter what, before i graduated from college and find a job. So i entered the dating game at only 25/26. Then i had an hard time finding a man because so many of them told me that i was a "good/fine girl" but that they "couldn't handle a woman like me" without even giving me a chance. The less educated ones told me they would feel unsecured or challenged by me. The equally or more educated ones told me they needed to focus on making great carreers so they wanted a stay at home mom or at least a woman with a less time consuming job to handle their household. So i was stucked in the middle. I never thought that being married is the ultimate goal in a woman's life nor that it is the thing that would define me. I just wanted to find love and share it. Is that unreasonable ?

Op meditate on those memes and do the needful

Shantelle80:
Please guys, portraying me as the kind of woman whom only purpose in life is to find a man to take care of her is just not fair.
Actually i think making marriage the last box to check on my list is part of the reason why i'm where i am today.
You see when i was 15, i made myself a promise: i would date no boy/man, no matter what, before i graduated from college and find a job. So i entered the dating game at only 25/26. Then i had an hard time finding a man because so many of them told me that i was a "good/fine girl" but that they "couldn't handle a woman like me" without even giving me a chance. The less educated ones told me they would feel unsecured or challenged by me. The equally or more educated ones told me they needed to focus on making great carreers so they wanted a stay at home mom or at least a woman with a less time consuming job to handle their household. So i was stucked in the middle. I never thought that being married is the ultimate goal in a woman's life nor that it is the thing that would define me. I just wanted to find love and share it. Is that unreasonable ?

you owe no one explanations. There's nothing wrong in desiring someone to spend your life with. It's unfortunate the right man hasn't come yet but be rest assured he'll come. In the interim, do take care of the lil one growing in you and in due time the right man will come knocking. I'd rather be single at 40 than to be in a toxic marriage at 30. My opinion though

Sorry but did you really had to wait till you get to 28 before you got into a relationship ?


As for your child, you're 34 so you should be working and should be able to take care of your child alone so I guess that won't be your problem now.


I'll advice to just be yourself and yes you can still get married but don't be anxious or desperate about it else they'll just take advantage of you like the guys you dated did and honestly you shouldn't have agreed to get pregnant before marriage, that was soo out of it.

You owe nobody here an explanation and truly the sensible ones know that Life happens (no matter how much you plan it or wish it to be otherwise).

I will be honest and say, Dating is going to be tougher but not impossible. Honey, I know a 38 year old lady who married a man most girls would give an eye to wed. I know a few single mums happily married to men who love their kids. I know a Naija lady in her mid to late 30s, whilst Nigerian men (and their wahala) were flexing for her, met a white guy with a fantastic job, who couldn't get her out of his mind (happily married with a little darling too).

Nothing is impossible, just keep your options very open and don't write off anything but please be careful and scrutinise very well whom is coming close to you.

Please don't "manage" just anybody who shows up, because I've seen women in their 30s do that a lot and it never works out for them.

Shantelle80:
Hi everyone,

i'm a little discouraged and depressed these days.
I just turned 35, i'm 4 months pregnant and i'm single

I met a guy when i was 28 in my prayer circle, got engaged to him a year later only to find out few months afterward that he was bisexual at best. I was devastated when we broke up but i had this good friend who helped me and comforted through that mess.

We started dating a year later, time for me to heal and to realize that i actually liked him too. We dated for years before starting making plans. We talked marriage, babies, and buying an house. The relationship was so great, we were so compatible, i trusted him so much that when he said just start TTC before being legally married i accepted. I got pregnant and the very day i told him so, he said that he was not ready whatsoever, that i had to get an abortion and that if i didn't do so, we would be done and i would have to take responsibility alone. I was totally blindsided.

I couldn't get an abortion. So now here i am, having this baby alone and wondering why, why me ? What have i done wrong ? What have i done to deserve this ? The first break up i thought that was bad luck, i was deceived buy someone who seemed perfect on paper but twice ? Am i a bad person or just silly ?
I'm trying to focus on this baby to come but when i think about our future, it's so scary. I really want this child to have a father in his life but don't feel like it will ever happen.

Do you think, in all honesty that a 35+ yo single mother stands any chance to ever find a decent men to share her life with ?

Its possible but d chances r very slim it happen in 5percent of similar cases. If u r financially stable n intelligent it will increase ur chances mainly with widowers n older men 55plus . God can do anything jst b prayerful

Tashaamania:
Back to sender. It is very obvious your life has been frustrated by a woman. Dont come here to discourage others from getting married just because you're sad with your marriage.
No one here can help you, we don't care. Now hop along..Oniranu

e be like say you to want to jenbe



alabosi, oninobi okunrin




ahenn i hope you are not the pedophile teaching that 3 year old kid howoto massage and sit on dheek because I saw that thread few minutes ago. The description looks like you


you better change

mrwonlasewonie:




e be like say you to want to jenbe



alabosi, oninobi okunrin




ahenn i hope you are not the pedophile teaching that 3 year old kid howoto massage and sit on dheek because I saw that thread few minutes ago. The description looks like you


you better change

Go on, keep posting trash. Lets hope someday you would post something less silly..

Tashaamania:

Go on, keep posting trash. Lets hope someday you would post something less silly..

confess and set your soul free




truth don't cost a thing

mrwonlasewonie:
confess and set your soul free




truth don't cost a thing

Keep using your alt to post, ode. You've been placed on ignore. I'll reply you when you're not stupiid even though I know your stupidity is inevitable.

Yes I think you can. My mom remarried around the time she turned 40. She had 4 kids of her own then from her first marriage. My dad whom she got remarried to had 7 of his own from his first marriage. Growing up I didn't know that the older children in my house were half-siblings, that's how well they were integrated into the home.

I would advise that you do not let sex get on the menu again to avoid more complication in your life. But stay sweetly dispositioned. Someone is very likely to want to prove to be your hero.

Only God knows, its well.

Bad character and lust for well to does hinder women from marrying earlier while lack of finance is the bane for men

ogawisdom:


Its possible but d chances r very slim it happen in 5percent of similar cases. If u r financially stable n intelligent it will increase ur chances mainly with widowers n older men 55plus . God can do anything jst b prayerful

Nigga what you talking bout? Reeling out chances and even percentages. And if she is financially stable and intelligent it will increase her chances mainly with widowers n older men 55plus? You even reeling out class of suitors and age. Damn bruv, you fvcking cold and deserve to be knocked the fvck out.

anangboy:


Nigga what you talking bout? Reeling out chances and even percentages. And if she is financially stable and intelligent it will increase her chances mainly with widowers n older men 55plus? You even reeling out class of suitors and age. Damn bruv, you fvcking cold and deserve to be knocked the fvck out.

Who is this morbid fool

Tashaamania:

Keep using your alt to post, ode. You've been placed on ignore. I'll reply you when you're not stupiid even though I know your stupidity is inevitable.

e pain am die



hobiiii


farts on him

The problem i have with issues such as these is that the lady would turn down the advances of an honest Atheist who has her best interest at heart. They would rather prefer the so called 'god fearing' men who would in turn break their hearts. I see a lot of them around. Not to worry dear you can still find an honest man that would make an honest woman out of you. You just need to broaden your horizon.

You can't have everything in LIFE or a DEATH!

You can't have everything in LIFE or a DEATH!
You can ALWAYS get a husband, but GOOD HUSBANDS are EXTINCT!

ogawisdom:


Who is this morbid fool

You gotta come harder. You gotta do better than this one liner cacophonous babble.

Tashaamania:
She should not be bothered because you will marry her at the end of the day, abi?
Something going for her, by that you mean - a successful career, right? Is that all you think a woman want?
what if she doesn't?
Hope you would tell this same thing to a single 35year old lady somewhat related to you.
I know right, easier said behind the screen..

1million likes. I hate it when pple give advice they cant take.

FrancisTony:

She shouldn't be bothered, biko.

That's if she has something going for her.(No offense)

People's priorities are different. That you won't be bothered about marriage at 40 doesn't mean somebody else shouldn't be at 25.
Our needs are different. Learn that.

Shantelle80:
I'm sorry if i sound whining, marriage is not my upmost priority of course.
That would be my baby and i am focusing on him/her. Still, this may sound old school but i always pictured myself in a "traditionnal" way of life.
Starting a family with a man i love and who loves me, raising our children together. I never thought that i would be in this place at this point in my life.
Still i praise God for all his blessings. I'm healthy, my parents are too, i have a decent career, enough money to take care of myself and raise this child.
I'm just sad you know, just sad and dissapointed. Most of us need someone to share our lifes with, i know some people don't but i do.
I really hope that i will be able to find a good mate and bring a good paternal figure in my child's life.
As i look around though, it seems like i'm now out of the game. Most men won't date a single mom or a 35+ woman so a 35+ single mom...

You are not out of the game. You so much underrate what you are capable of. You can rewrite this story! Life is all about learning lessons. Learn the lessons,forgive yourself and those that hurt you and move on. This is no time to cry or indulge in self pity. Your maker knows what's best for you and at the right moment paths will cross with the right guy. Trust me he won't care if you are 40 or not. It could have been worse than this you know?

You are down but not out. You only have a bloodied nose. I expect you to get up and keep fighting for what you believe in.

Take good care of yourself mind body and soul.

Wendy80:


People's priorities are different. That you won't be bothered about marriage at 40 doesn't mean somebody else shouldn't be at 25.
Our needs are different. Learn that.

another Ruth abokoku

OP, something I know about love -

When you seek it so bad, it doesn't come but when you least expect it, it finds you.

Pls face other important things in life, make yourself happy in other ways, forget about love and it will come knocking so hard

Shantelle80:
Please guys, portraying me as the kind of woman whom only purpose in life is to find a man to take care of her is just not fair.
Actually i think making marriage the last box to check on my list is part of the reason why i'm where i am today.
You see when i was 15, i made myself a promise: i would date no boy/man, no matter what, before i graduated from college and find a job. So i entered the dating game at only 25/26. Then i had an hard time finding a man because so many of them told me that i was a "good/fine girl" but that they "couldn't handle a woman like me" without even giving me a chance. The less educated ones told me they would feel unsecured or challenged by me. The equally or more educated ones told me they needed to focus on making great carreers so they wanted a stay at home mom or at least a woman with a less time consuming job to handle their household. So i was stucked in the middle. I never thought that being married is the ultimate goal in a woman's life nor that it is the thing that would define me. I just wanted to find love and share it. Is that unreasonable ?

how many men are you referring to here?

btw, i'm sure this is a script, but you can prove me wrong if need be.

Now, let's assume the "so many" at your 25/26, were say four men. Then the "less educated ones", perhaps more than two or three. Lastly, the "equally educated ones" should be maybe two to five?

That's a number of between eight and twelve men, in about three years. If they all made excuses for not wanting to go further in the relationship (I assume this is fiction), then you should probably look beyond them for reasons.