Sunday, March 1, 2009
Agonies of two 'baby wives'

By SAM AWOYINFA


Sam Awoyinfa
Haramu and Rashida.





The two girls, dubbed 'baby wives,' by neighbours are Rashida, who is 12 years old and her elder sister, Haramu who claims to be 18.

Dark-skinned Rashida, who tells SUNDAY PUNCH her own story first, says her father had given her and her sister to two different men, who are Nigeriens like her parents, but that "it is rather absurd and callous for our father to abort our destiny abruptly without our consent."

"My father did not even tell us that he had collected our bride prices from the suitors we never knew," she says. "We were surprised to see some guests in our residence, who came and took us away to different locations, which they say were our husbands' houses."

She stresses that she was surprised to see her parents erecting canopies and hiring chairs on that fateful day.

"My father rented canopies and rented chairs, and before we knew what was happening, family friends and his supposed in-laws were seated and they started eating rice and doing all sorts of things," she states.

Rashida adds that the ironic thing about the whole charade was that neither her sister nor herself was invited to the brief ceremony.

Another curious twist to the story was that none of the suitors were present at the ceremony. "The whole thing seems funny to me, because my sister and I did not partake in the ceremony. We were inside the room, neither did any of our supposed suitors show up," Rashida recalls.

Like sheep being led to the slaughter, which would not utter a word but bleat, Rashida and Haramu amid suppressed sobs, were finally sent forth to their husbands' houses on February 15, 2009, as soon as the ceremony was concluded.

The two 'newly-wedded brides' were piloted into two different cars, brought by their in-laws. While Rashida was driven to Agboju, along the Lagos-Badagry Expressway, Haramu was taken to somewhere in Ajah, another part of Lagos.

A spectacle awaited Rashida when she finally arrived in her husband's residence. The man, alleged to be 56 years and stays in a one-room apartment. Rashida, who was accompanied by Halima, one of her friends, to the man's house, adds that she stayed with the man for a week. She returned home on February 21, having been given a 24-hour permission by her husband to go and see her parents before she would finally return and settle down to child rearing.

Rashida tells SUNDAY PUNCH that the man never slept with her. She says, "Throughout the one week I was with him, he never slept with me, because I don't like him. He is an old man, all his hairs are white. I was sleeping on the floor with my friend who accompanied me, while he slept on the bed."

When our correspondent asked her of the man's name, she claimed she did not know. All she volunteered was that the man is a trader, who has a small kiosk, where he sells sweets, and biscuits.

But what was she doing while in the man's house? "I was just sleeping, waking and eating," she replies. She discloses that her friend was the one doing the cooking for them.

Her sister's story is quite similar. Haramu gives the name of her own husband as Salisu. Haramu says he is a tall young man, but "I do not like him." She says that Salisu is a security guard in a private residence in Ajah. He is also from the Republic of Niger. From February 15, she stayed with the man till February 20, after which he gave her two weeks permission to go and see her parents, before she would finally move in, and start rearing children. Also for the almost one week that she stayed with Salisu, nothing amorous transpired between them. She claims she was accompanied by a friend, Rukaya, and they were always together, according to her.

Rashida and Haramu are however at a crossroads. They are now torn between obeying their father's wish, and fulfilling their academic dreams. Rashida states that she has just completed her primary school education at Arise and Shine Primary School, located at No. 12 Odunlami Street, Lawanson, Surulere. She says she wants to continue with her education, and nurtures the dream of becoming an accountant in the future.

"I have completed my primary school education, and I am heading for JSS 1. I want to go to university and become an accountant, but my father…" she says, sobbing.

She continues, "But I know what I am going to do. I will run away from home." Haramu, though not as tough talking as her younger sister, prays that her dream of becoming a lawyer is not thwarted by her father. "Though I am 18-years-old, I'm not ready for marriage now, I want to go to pursue my education to university level, because I want to become a lawyer in future," she says. For Haramu, time is ticking and by next Sunday, she must return to her husband's one-room apartment in Ajah, where she says the guy is squatting with a friend.

Rashida had no luxury of time as SUNDAY PUNCH learnt that at the expiration of 24 hours permission given her by her husband, she was practically abducted and bundled away to Agboju in the evening of February 21. She was allegedly taken away in front of their residence. Rashida, says a witness, cried and shouted but she was over-powered by her abductors.

Our correspondent was at their residence earlier that day, and saw some women who came to visit the parents of Rashida. They were said to be family friends and Rashida's in-laws who had come to take her away. But Rashida, on sensing that they had come for her, ran away from the vicinity. But they waited patiently for her, and later whisked her away, as she returned home.

Mohamodu Umoru confirms that he is the one giving her daughters out in marriage, and adds that it is not a forced marriage. Puffing away intermittently on a stick of cigarette, he argues, "I am the one who gave two of them out in marriage; it is not true that I am forcing them to marry."

Umoru explains that in Niger Rep., it is normal to give out girls out in marriage from age 12 upwards. Moreover, he reveals that the men that he gave his daughters to "are my blood relations, and I know them very well."

Is it not incest or taboo to marry a relation in the place he hails from? "There is nothing wrong with it.[size=14pt] In fact, we marry our blood relations so that when the wife offends the husband, he will not over-react, but see that wife as part of himself," he replies.
[/size]
Umoru says that he took the action because he has no money to send the two girls to school anymore. "And instead of them just roaming the streets, and getting impregnated along line, I have to give them out in marriage," he adds.

[size=14pt]But why would he give out a 12-year-old girl to a 56-year-old man? Umoru insists that it is all lies, claiming that he gave the girls out to those who could fend for them and take good care of them.[/size]

Umoru's action has been condemned by a non-governmental organisation, Project Alert for Violence Against Women. The Executive Director, Mrs. Josephine Ettah-Chukwuma argues that Umoru's action is against the Child's Right Law of Lagos State, and thus it is illegal.

She stresses that the fact that Umoru hails from Niger Rep. notwithstanding, in as much as he resides in Lagos, he must obey its laws. She adds that Umoru will have to relocate to his country if he wants to carry out such an act.

The Office of the Public Defender, Lagos, describes Umoru's action as illegal. The Director, Mrs. Tola Rotimi, echoes the fact that the action runs foul of the laws of Lagos State.

Quoting the relevant sections of the Child's Right Act 2003, Rotimi states that it is a punishable offence to betroth any person under the age of 18 years. The act stipulates that "No parent, guardian or any other person shall betroth a child to any person." And whoever contravenes this law commits an offence and is liable on conviction to a fine of N500,000 or imprisonment for a term of five years or both such fine and imprisonment. With this action, she adds that Umoru risks being sent to jail.

Rotimi says that Umoru's claim that he has no money to send the girls to school is balderdash, because "the Lagos State Government provides free and compulsory primary and secondary school education. The state government pays WASC fees, so what is he talking about? All he needs to do for them is to buy them school uniforms."

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/mar/1/411.html

But why would he give out a 12-year-old girl to a 56-year-old man? Umoru insists that it is all lies, claiming that he gave the girls out to those who could fend for them and take good care of them.

Men men men *shakes head***

Sad sorry, but the act of their father was induced by poverty. I am not making excuses for the man, but poverty can make people do
really desperate things.

Still, the story is really sad especially for the 12 year old.

i just cant imagine being forced into marriage not to talk of someone as old as that, lawd i solemnly swear i will poison the man to death. cant stand it, what would a 56 yrs man who should be thinking of death be doing with a 12 yrs girl as a wife?. just pure child abuse.

i just cant imagine being forced into marriage not to talk of someone as old as that, lawd i solemnly swear i will poison the man to death. cant stand it, what would a 56 yrs man who should be thinking of death be doing with a 12 yrs girl as a wife?. just pure child abuse.

Thinking of death or kitten?

St.Funmi:

Thinking of death or kitten?

death! at least if he should be thinking of kitten let be of someone in his age group or as matured as he is not a little child

i mean children should just be allowed to be children, this type of marriages and stories are just very dishearting

i mean children should just be allowed to be children, this type of marriages and stories are just very dishearting

Sorry, it happens in Northern Nigeria in drones everyday.

^^^^ extremely rare occurrences nowadays - not in 'drones'

^^^^ extremely rare occurrences nowadays - not in 'drones

That's a lie. Say the truth so we know how to help your women out.

The Umoru guy says he has the girls' interests at heart and the best solution was to marry them off? What a greedy liar!!!! How can a 56 year old man who trades in biscuits and sweets raise a family without acquiring financial problems along the way? Isn't this just another case of going from frying pan to fire?

Abominable.

Should the government not be arresting some people? What is the legal age of consent and what age is it legal to get married?

Abominable.

[b]Should the government not be arresting some people? [/b]What is the legal age of consent and what age is it legal to get married?

No, because the legal marriage age in Nigeria is 12.

I am not Nigerian so please pardon my ignorance, but surely the legal marriage can not be 12. Oh my!

Backwards Country!!

No, because the legal marriage age in Nigeria is 12.

Are you saying that people actually sat down to pen this nonsense law down? Jeez we are more backward than I thought.

Very sick. . . . My gosh.

We actually have kids here who wants to finish their education but some "marriage" is hindering their dreams. So sad.

And someone dares to mention it legal just because they LAW states so.

Have we lost our moral/ ethical sense for some nonsensical laws that man wrote?

@poster - What era of the constitutional book do check the age of marriage in your fatherland is 12? Speak up! So if ur right,i can marry u off now without any body sueing me? Shit!
NL,Abeg,all this aren't laws o0o,its not in the book of law.
In the North,girl USED to be married off early,that was long ago and it happened in almost all part the islamic countries in the world,not leaving Bahrain and India,even Egypt!
Girls aren't rush into marriage again except for ignorance which is a disease!

@poster - What era of the constitutional book do check the age of marriage in your fatherland is 12? Speak up! So if ur right,i can marry u off now without any body sueing me? Shit!
NL,Abeg,all this aren't laws o0o,its not in the book of law.
In the North,girl USED to be married off early,that was long ago and it happened in almost all part the islamic countries in the world,not leaving Bahrain and India,even Egypt!
Girls aren't rush into marriage again except for ignorance which is a disease!

Do you mind checking the Nigerian constitution before denying it?. Why do we Nigerians derive joy from denying the ugly side of us?. Will the problem resolve itself by us hiding it?. The Nigerian constitution puts the marriage age at 12. That means you cannot sue any man that marries a 12 yr old girl for statutory rape in Nigeria. It's the law bu you musn't follow that aspect of law.


I think it's poverty that is the sole problem here. No comfortable parents will allow an adult male to dissect their 12 year old daughters kitten in the name of marriage.

St.Funmi:

Do you mind checking the Nigerian constitution before denying it?. Why do we Nigerians derive joy from denying the ugly side of us?. Will the problem resolve itself by us hiding it?. The Nigerian constitution puts the marriage age at 12. That means you cannot sue any man that marries a 12 yr old girl for statutory rape in Nigeria. It's the law bu you musn't follow that aspect of law.


I think it's poverty that is the sole problem here. No comfortable parents will allow an adult male to dissect their 12 year old daughters kitten in the name of marriage.

Dear, i'm not hiding anything . . .i was only asking you that which ERA of the constitution did you get that from i guess its in the 1979 Constitution which had been amended 4 times - 6 times now. i have a copy of the latest constitution and i can find it there,that was why i asked . . .

Marrying someone at 12 is absurd and absolutely insane . . .this early marriages used to be the practice of 'SOME" Nigerians in the earlier 1900's and not even the mid or late 1900's (1970 - till date),or were you married at that age? Nigeria is my country and lets face the facts the way there are . . if you claim that till date,its still 12. . . kindly tell me where it is . .simple and better still show me link. . and ONLY then i can admit

if we all know that 12 a very wrong age to get married . . so who then are the foolish sets of nuisance that wrote 12 in there . . can't just believe that its constitutionally written . . .12 ? i don't and can't believe . .poster . . . tell me!!! im crazie in here. . .some lawyer makers really needs to be dealt with . . .i still can't find it. . that's why i can't belive. . . .

St.Funmi:

No, because the legal marriage age in Nigeria is 12.

12 ! really sad, y 12 i mean shouldn't they marry the person when they r still in the womb   since they r really stupid  enough to marry off or think that 12yrs is old enough to get married. i really thank my god i wasnt born into "this so called" groups cox honestly if i was many men would have suffered in my hands 

~Sissy~:

12 ! really sad, y 12 i mean shouldn't they marry the person when they r still in the womb since they r really stupid enough to marry off or think that 12yrs is old enough to get married. i really thank my god i wasnt born into "this so called" groups cox honestly if i was many men would have suffered in my hands

its can't just be 12yrs . . .POSTER. . .the people who wrote the constitution are human beings too and have kids . . Haba! i STILL CAN'T JUST BELIEVE IT. . . Maybe,you were REFERRING TO THE 1800 AND EARLY 1900's CENTURIES . . .

allboyz:

its can't just be 12yrs . . .POSTER. . .the people who wrote the constitution are human beings too and have kids . . Haba! i STILL CAN'T JUST BELIEVE IT. . . Maybe,you were REFERRING TO THE 1800 AND EARLY 1900's CENTURIES . . .

yeah i really hope too, it is not 12!

still waiting for the poster . . .because i have got a copy of the book of law here with my . .which sect? Part what? still waiting . .12 yrs is CHILD ABUSE . . if they say,someone should not drink beer until your are 18yrs/21yrs why marry at 12?

maybe thats the age in the north since it is a muslim area cox i "heard" oo,  that anything is possible with those, , 

stillwater:

Are you saying that people actually sat down to pen this nonsense law down? Jeez we are more backward than I thought.

all things are possible. dont forget the matter of not upsetting our islamic neighbours.
most of the wicked backward laws allowed into our books were placed there to assist people set in their old odd ways continue without change.

St.Funmi:

Do you mind checking the Nigerian constitution before denying it?. Why do we Nigerians derive joy from denying the ugly side of us?. Will the problem resolve itself by us hiding it?. The Nigerian constitution puts the marriage age at 12. That means you cannot sue any man that marries a 12 yr old girl for statutory rape in Nigeria. It's the law bu you musn't follow that aspect of law.


I think it's poverty that is the sole problem here. No comfortable parents will allow an adult male to dissect their 12 year old daughters kitten in the name of marriage.

funmi, i know many rich alhajis that married off their daughters before they left primary school. it is more cultural and religious than poverty.

i trust jjyou

the poster is leaving me speechless!!!!

Agonies of two 'baby wives'

By SAM AWOYINFA


IN these days when parents are not sparing any cost to send their children to good schools within and outside the country in order to make them self-reliant, a father, Mohamodu Umoru, who hails from the Republic of Niger[b][/b], prefers to send his two under-aged daughters into forced marriages.

The two girls, dubbed 'baby wives,' by neighbours are Rashida, who is 12 years old and her elder sister, Haramu who claims to be 18.

Dark-skinned Rashida, who tells SUNDAY PUNCH her own story first, says her father had given her and her sister to two different men, who are Nigeriens like her parents, but that "it is rather absurd and callous for our father to abort our destiny abruptly without our consent."

"My father did not even tell us that he had collected our bride prices from the suitors we never knew," she says. "We were surprised to see some guests in our residence, who came and took us away to different locations, which they say were our husbands' houses."

She stresses that she was surprised to see her parents erecting canopies and hiring chairs on that fateful day.

"My father rented canopies and rented chairs, and before we knew what was happening, family friends and his supposed in-laws were seated and they started eating rice and doing all sorts of things," she states.

Rashida adds that the ironic thing about the whole charade was that neither her sister nor herself was invited to the brief ceremony.

Another curious twist to the story was that none of the suitors were present at the ceremony. "The whole thing seems funny to me, because my sister and I did not partake in the ceremony. We were inside the room, neither did any of our supposed suitors show up," Rashida recalls.

Like sheep being led to the slaughter, which would not utter a word but bleat, Rashida and Haramu amid suppressed sobs, were finally sent forth to their husbands' houses on February 15, 2009, as soon as the ceremony was concluded.

The two 'newly-wedded brides' were piloted into two different cars, brought by their in-laws. While Rashida was driven to Agboju, along the Lagos-Badagry Expressway, Haramu was taken to somewhere in Ajah, another part of Lagos.

A spectacle awaited Rashida when she finally arrived in her husband's residence. The man, alleged to be 56 years and stays in a one-room apartment. Rashida, who was accompanied by Halima, one of her friends, to the man's house, adds that she stayed with the man for a week. She returned home on February 21, having been given a 24-hour permission by her husband to go and see her parents before she would finally return and settle down to child rearing.

Rashida tells SUNDAY PUNCH that the man never slept with her. She says, "Throughout the one week I was with him, he never slept with me, because I don't like him. He is an old man, all his hairs are white. I was sleeping on the floor with my friend who accompanied me, while he slept on the bed."

When our correspondent asked her of the man's name, she claimed she did not know. All she volunteered was that the man is a trader, who has a small kiosk, where he sells sweets, and biscuits.

But what was she doing while in the man's house? "I was just sleeping, waking and eating," she replies. She discloses that her friend was the one doing the cooking for them.

Her sister's story is quite similar. Haramu gives the name of her own husband as Salisu. Haramu says he is a tall young man, but "I do not like him." She says that Salisu is a security guard in a private residence in Ajah. He is also from the Republic of Niger. From February 15, she stayed with the man till February 20, after which he gave her two weeks permission to go and see her parents, before she would finally move in, and start rearing children. Also for the almost one week that she stayed with Salisu, nothing amorous transpired between them. She claims she was accompanied by a friend, Rukaya, and they were always together, according to her.

Rashida and Haramu are however at a crossroads. They are now torn between obeying their father's wish, and fulfilling their academic dreams. Rashida states that she has just completed her primary school education at Arise and Shine Primary School, located at No. 12 Odunlami Street, Lawanson, Surulere. She says she wants to continue with her education, and nurtures the dream of becoming an accountant in the future.

"I have completed my primary school education, and I am heading for JSS 1. I want to go to university and become an accountant, but my father…" she says, sobbing.

She continues, "But I know what I am going to do. I will run away from home." Haramu, though not as tough talking as her younger sister, prays that her dream of becoming a lawyer is not thwarted by her father. "Though I am 18-years-old, I'm not ready for marriage now, I want to go to pursue my education to university level, because I want to become a lawyer in future," she says. For Haramu, time is ticking and by next Sunday, she must return to her husband's one-room apartment in Ajah, where she says the guy is squatting with a friend.

Rashida had no luxury of time as SUNDAY PUNCH learnt that at the expiration of 24 hours permission given her by her husband, she was practically abducted and bundled away to Agboju in the evening of February 21. She was allegedly taken away in front of their residence. Rashida, says a witness, cried and shouted but she was over-powered by her abductors.

Our correspondent was at their residence earlier that day, and saw some women who came to visit the parents of Rashida. They were said to be family friends and Rashida's in-laws who had come to take her away. But Rashida, on sensing that they had come for her, ran away from the vicinity. But they waited patiently for her, and later whisked her away, as she returned home.

Mohamodu Umoru confirms that he is the one giving her daughters out in marriage, and adds that it is not a forced marriage. Puffing away intermittently on a stick of cigarette, he argues, "I am the one who gave two of them out in marriage; it is not true that I am forcing them to marry."

Umoru explains that in Niger Rep., it is normal to give out girls out in marriage from age 12 upwards. Moreover, he reveals that the men that he gave his daughters to "are my blood relations, and I know them very well."

Is it not incest or taboo to marry a relation in the place he hails from? "There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, we marry our blood relations so that when the wife offends the husband, he will not over-react, but see that wife as part of himself," he replies.

Umoru says that he took the action because he has no money to send the two girls to school anymore. "And instead of them just roaming the streets, and getting impregnated along line, I have to give them out in marriage," he adds.

But why would he give out a 12-year-old girl to a 56-year-old man? Umoru insists that it is all lies, claiming that he gave the girls out to those who could fend for them and take good care of them.

Umoru's action has been condemned by a non-governmental organisation, Project Alert for Violence Against Women. The Executive Director, Mrs. Josephine Ettah-Chukwuma argues that Umoru's action is against the Child's Right Law of Lagos State, and thus it is illegal.

She stresses that the fact that Umoru hails from Niger Rep. notwithstanding, in as much as he resides in Lagos, he must obey its laws. She adds that Umoru will have to relocate to his country if he wants to carry out such an act.

The Office of the Public Defender, Lagos, describes Umoru's action as illegal. The Director, Mrs. Tola Rotimi, echoes the fact that the action runs foul of the laws of Lagos State.

Quoting the relevant sections of the Child's Right Act 2003, Rotimi states that it is a punishable offence to betroth any person under the age of 18 years. The act stipulates that "No parent, guardian or any other person shall betroth a child to any person." And whoever contravenes this law commits an offence and is liable on conviction to a fine of N500,000 or imprisonment for a term of five years or both such fine and imprisonment. With this action, she adds that Umoru risks being sent to jail.

Rotimi says that Umoru's claim that he has no money to send the girls to school is balderdash, because "the Lagos State Government provides free and compulsory primary and secondary school education. The state government pays WASC fees, so what is he talking about? All he needs to do for them is to buy them school uniforms."

child marriages have no place in this day and age. however, there is something fishy about this article - when did nigeriens( from Niger) start looking yoruba? (those girls have yoruba written all over them) until reading this article and checking the net, i actually thought all nigeriens had arab features, and were beggars .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niger

i didn't even know we had nigerien working immigrants at our security outfits.

anyway, if the story is true - the marriages should be nullified.

oyb:

i trust jjyou

you want names and addresses? i bet this is new to you

This is sad. very sad.