#1.Large, loft-style apartments in
NewYork City are well
within the price range of most people—
whether they are
employed or not.
#2.Should you decide to defuse a bomb,
don’t worry which
wire to cut. You will always choose the
right one.
#3.It does not matter if you are heavily
outnumbered in a
fight involving martial arts: your enemies
will wait patiently
to attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening
manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.
#4.When you turn out the light to go to
bed, everything in
your bedroom will still be clearly visible,
just slightlybluish.
#5.Rather than wasting bullets,
megalomaniacs prefer to kill
their arch enemies using complicated
machinery involving
fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses,
lasers and man-
eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20
minutes to escape.
#6. All beds have special L-shaped cover
sheets that reach
the armpit level on a woman, but only to
waist level on the
man lying beside her.
#7.It’s easy for anyone to land a plane,
providing there is
someone in the control tower to talk you
down.
#8.You’re very likely to survive any battle
in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing
someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.
#9.Should you wish to pass yourself off as
a German or
Russian officer, it will not be necessary to
speak the
language. A German or Russian accent
will do.
#10.A man will show no pain while taking
the most
ferocious beating, but will wince when a
woman tries to
clean his wounds.
#11.Word processors never display a
cursor on screen but
will always say: Enter Password Now.
#12.Even when driving down a perfectly
straight road, it is
necessary to turn the steering wheel
vigorously from left to
right every few moments.
#13.All bombs are fitted with electronic
timing devices with
large red readouts so you know exactly
when they’re going
to go off.
#14.A detective can only solve a case
once he has been
suspended from duty.
#15. If you decide to start dancing in the
street, everyone
you meet will know all the steps.
#16. All black cats are evil.
#17. Witches and cultists usually dress in
black and red.
#18. If aliens invade earth, the USA would
be their
destination and the only place they would
destroy.
#19. If any insect bites you, you will get a
super power from
it.
#20. Aliens understand English.
#21. When under heavy fire, all your
enemies suddenly have
unsteady hands and you always escape
the bullets, but your
own accuracy increases exponentially,
that you make
nothing other than head-shots
#22. Even if the car turns over 5times,
you always come
out fine
#23. it takes less than 5 seconds for
poison to kill someone
#24. every old. Man/woman must cough
before dying
(especially Olu Jacobs)
#25. after planing to kill someone from
the beginning of the
movie towards the end when you finally
have a chance, you
decide you want to look them in the eyes
before killing
#26 The villain always dies at the end of
the movie
#27. When you hear a weird sound from
a dark corner,
instead of running, you just have to check
what it is
#28. all the boys and men in the time
when technology had
not come to africa always have nice hair
cuts and their hair
is always well carved like the work of a
clipper.
#29. In the middle of a thick forest at
night and no moon,
somehow theres always light reflecting on
the bodies of the
people that looks like flood light.
#30. Your clothes always come out dry
even if you escaped
from a sinking submarine at the bottom of
the ocean.
#31. Kissing at the end of a horrific plane
crash makes the
pain go away and everyone forget it
happened.
IMPORTANT BONUSES:
* Actor No Dey Die!
* Only In An Indian Film Will The Teacher
Catch A Student
With Expo In An Exam And Evrybody
Starts Dancing.

OMGosh! This is so hilarious. and honest, too

writywave:
OMGosh! This is so hilarious. and honest, too

thanks n hope I cn get more post dat will be hilarious than this...av a 1derful day