On 2nd Sept 1995, I said “I DO!” 19yrs down the line, what have I learnt? What do I wish I knew before saying I DO?

Below are some 19 lessons:



1. Love is a choice, not an emotion: As more years pass, you realize that each day you have to consciously choose to love. You cannot rely on the “emotional” feelings you had the first month you met.

2. Love is a commitment: You must resolve to love regardless. Marriage is not for those who want to try if it will work or not. It is for those who resolve to make it work no matter the challenges.

3. Leave your parents: Many marriages fail because one or both partners fails to cut the umbilical cord to his/her parents. Don’t keep going back to mama to cry! Focus on building your marriage.

4. Develop your own set of values: None of you should impose his/her parents’ values to be fully adopted in your new family. Many of the things your parents do/did, might not work for you 100%. Create your own marriage constitution and live by it.

5. Don’t borrow money to finance the wedding: I am glad we never borrowed a cent to finance our wedding! We told our families we just had enough money to get into church, get married and come out happy as husband and wife. If they wanted a celebration, they were welcome to host it! And they did, a garden reception at Lilongwe Hotel!!!

6. Don’t believe the lie that “Banja ndi mavuto”: Choose to create a happy marriage not a sad one. Whatever your chosen mindset about marriage, it will manifest.

7. Choose to focus on the good and not the weaknesses: We all have the bad side, but love must choose to focus on the good, on what is lovely, what is praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:

8. “Keep the Main Thing, The Main Thing”: Your marriage should be the main thing. Avoid the temptation to separate and live in different towns, cities, countries just to “earn a living” Life is for living, and choose to live it together. Let what God has put together remain together.

9. Choose which battles to fight and which ones to ignore: Our first major fight within a month of our marriage was about how to hang curtains! Years down the lane, I don’t give a damn how they are hang!

10. Learn to forgive: If you are just young in love, you take things too seriously sometimes. Listen, your mate is just human and full of errors and weaknesses. If you want to marry an angel, then wait till you are dead!

11. Grow and develop with your partner: Don’t let only one of you do the extra studies, the extra reading, the career advancement. You need to keep a healthy closeness mentally.

12. Create special moments to remember: Don’t let your marriage be dull by following a boring routine of waking up, going to work, coming back, eating, sleeping, waking up again… Do some special....

MORE...>>>http://expressng.com/2015/06/19-things-i-wish-i-knew-before-saying-i-do/

wao

True

Felt like this write-up was directed at me, on point and well said. Experienced couples wld agree to this and much more. I chose not be believe that marriage shld be endured and managed, but it shld be enjoyed. Not expecting perfection, but definitely not Wishing for regrets. It's all about making the right choice from the onset, making sacrifices for it to work and compromising at certain points.

MrRhymes101:
NUMBER 5 IS WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. HOW ON EARTH WILL U BORROW MONEY TO FINANCE UR WEDDING?? IS MARRIAGE A FINANCIAL INVESTMENT?? UR EXPENSES R EXPECTED TO INCREASE AFTER UR WEDDING SO HOW DO U INTEND TO PAY BACK UR DEBT?? MUST U MARRY AT THAT TIME?? IN FACT NA BY FORCE TO MARRY AT ALL??

LOL, I DY FEEL YOU

foundation of everything is love...
Amazingly LOVE has several definations

Good job @ op. All the above listed points are very true. thanks

#lesson

A nip on the board!! #WORD!!

Wow, am inspired but I borrow small money to add to make it something to remember. I really don't see anything wrong provided you have means to pay back. I think I learnt a lot from this piece. Thanks to the OP

This is so interesting, well Life has many different chapters for us. One bad chapter doesn't mean the end of the book.

Some guys here will be like....

'Thanks GOD I saw this before I enter one chance'