firstkiss:

Please don't judge me I am aware what I am doing is wrong. I also have my degree in Psychology, so I know some other underlining cause, but I'd like some in put I can use.

Ok, I  ran into the first guy I ever kissed at the age of 12  on a web site that was anymous, we stated talking because we thought it was funny, after all what are the chances of running into the first person you ever kissed via the web?

He is married and there was no secret about it, We started talking and texting more and more, we had a great time laughing and just connected without even seeing each other after 20 years,  we are both  38 now, I am  single and he's obviously married.  I know who his wife is and we have a lot of mutual friends.

I was clear that I was not going to meet him for anything other than lunch and have it go farther than we have just by talking on the phone,  for hours and hours while he was on business trips, while he's at work on his way home from work. It was insane and I was getting nervous.

I kept making excuses to meet up with him for lunch. Finally I caved, I thought, it's only lunch no harm I have lunch with several  male friends and their wives know we been friends for years, Yes I knew I was fooling myself with justification for what I knew was going to happen.

So, I was really busy that week and he suggested he pick up carry    out and come by, yes, again I know what was going to come out of that situation.

He came over with lunch and wow, the chemistry was out of control and it wad the most amazing time I have ever had. We have every component that two people should have.  He ended up  staying the whole day, when he left I was  on cloud nine almost as I forgot what the relationship really consisted of HE"S MARRIED!!!

The next day he called and we talked and he was so into me and  me him it was out of control!!
Today I saw him again and it was the same way, we did talk about the real situation  and the implications if anyone ever found out, he stated he really  likes me and it scares him and he knows it cannot go  any farther and it bothers him, because he is falling for me and he thinks about  me all the time. 
I feel the same way, accept I am  bothered about   my moral choice  and know that hes never going to leave his wife and even if he did,  i wouldn't ever trust him. But I am having a great time and it feels nice to be adored and liked so much, and hes someone who's known me over 25 years, The chemistry   in  every component is there and more.

What am  I going to do? Please don't tell me what a bad person I am, I know what a bad person I am by having an affair with a  married man,  I just would like someone to talk sense into me or react to how they would handle  this situation.

tope2000:

LOL. . .

@op
i dont know wat to say but dont break up an happy home

Treetop20:

tope
your siggy and photo do not match up
we need a close up so we can tell where you fall under
don't you reckon?

firstkiss:

I said I was single, not unable to get a man, this  wasn't  intentional.

firstkiss:

I said I was single, not unable to get a man, this wasn't intentional.

firstkiss:

very independent, and it's not to late trust me, THIS JUST HAPPENED!!

DaPhoenix:

Try to put yourself in his wife's shoes. Think about how awful it will feel for you to find out the love of your life is throwing your relationship away for a woman who he hasn't seen in the past 20 years.

Though he make you feel loved and all, you need to let him go solely for the fact that he is with someone else. I'm sure there's someone else out there for you who is willing to love you and more.

firstkiss:

very independent, and[b]  it's not to late trust me[/b],  THIS JUST HAPPENED!!  

~Sauron~:

What if there is no one out there for her to love??
There's no guarantee. The OP should enjoy herself while it lasts.
The feeling is like a puff of breath. . . . .It lingers for a while and then it diffuses after a while.

~Sauron~:

What if there is no one out there for her to love??
There's no guarantee. The OP should enjoy herself while it lasts.
The feeling is like a puff of breath. . . . .It lingers for a while and then it diffuses after a while.

firstkiss:

Afraid of commitment been burned too many times and grew up w/  parents who's marriage was horrible! I been in a 9 year relationship w/ my daughters father and wouldn't marry him because I fear commitment. I can cook, clean, and am very attractive and educated it lies no where in that area.

tope2000:

So does it really worth the heartache?

DaPhoenix:

At what cost? There is also no guarantee that the man is going to leave his lawfully wedded wife for her. It's best to end it before you get too deep.  

firstkiss:

Afraid of commitment been burned too many times and grew up w/  parents who's marriage was horrible! I been in a 9 year relationship w/ my daughters father and wouldn't marry him because I fear commitment. I can cook, clean, and am very attractive and educated it lies no where in that area.

~Sauron~:

It's a dead end relationship.
Both of em know that so there's nothing to lose afterall.
I am sick n tired of NLers who go. . . .End it, stop the relationship, kill it, gag it.
Is it that easy??

~Sauron~:

Women who think they have got guarantee also get dumped so whats the biggie??
Let the OP enjoy herself while it lasts. Live for the moment.

firstkiss:

How am I setting myself up? I know the facts I know hes not leaving his wife, nor do I want him to after all I couldn't trust him, I am not stupid,

He's hot, successful, caring and funny we have the best time together, I am NOT waiting for his calls or wanting him to leave is wife, as someone just said, I am living for the moment, and enjoying the ride, I want you to ask yourself what you would do if your first love came back in your life if you would over step the moral boundaries?