xynniey:
please fellow nairalanders, i am in a chaos state and i need useful advice. i have been dating this guy for close to a year now and we are talking about settling down. we love each other and we go extra miles for each other. i just found out that he has children with two different women one of them which recently gave birth 3 months back meaning she was pregnant when we were dating. now he doesn't know am aware of this yet and i havnt asked him yet. one day, i intercepted a message a man sent him a message on whatsapp asking why he has abandoned the sister and new baby (boy) not asking how they are feeding that God will pay him. i asked him what the man was talking about, he said he doesnt know what the man is talking about but admitted knowing the man that he is a long time ex-gf's brother. i knew he has lied cause being that i had done my background check on the lady that has a new baby, the sender of the message was her brother. i kept quite and didnt react. my problem now is, i lent my fiancée 200k which wasnt my own to do smtin that will help him and he promised to pay back. [size=13pt]if the money was mine, i would have walked out of the r/ship and count it as my lose. i don't want to go paying such debt on my own.[/size] i know if i bring up the children issue now, my chances of getting back the money would be lost. i have been playing dumb for 3months now and am tired what do i do?

thorpido:
The die is cast.You know who he is now so stop playing dumb.
Confront him with your facts and let him know the relationship is over.Ask him straight-up how he would payback your money and when.
You may have to count that money as a loss.You may not get it back(or get it back soon).
Young ladies need to use their heads more.You can help a boyfriend but you no be him mama.

xynniey:

if you are in a very tight fix and need such money and your gf has such money and refuses to help u wit it wld u be happy with her?

thorpido:
I thought you said the money was not your own?How come you told your fiance that you had that money that wasn't your own with you?
Wisdom is essential in life.When I was dating,I had a girlfriend i lent some money to do stuff.We quit the relationship and my money went with it.Since then,it didn't make sense to lend a girlfriend much money for anything.She should source from her family.
When you marry,you can commit much money into your partner's hands.While dating,there should be a limit.

bellong:
I just hope you don't become the third baby mama for him..

While waiting to get your money from him, will you still be giving him sex? What will be your reason for denying him what you have been offering freely before?

The bitter truth is that the money is gone. You can only get it back with the application of force. Such a fellow wouldn't care about paying you back. You are only a cash cow and stress relief to him.

bellong:
I just hope you don't become the third baby mama for him..

While waiting to get your money from him, will you still be giving him sex? What will be your reason for denying him what you have been offering freely before?

The bitter truth is that the money is gone. You can only get it back with the application of force. Such a fellow wouldn't care about paying you back. You are only a cash cow and stress relief to him.

baby124:
Cut your losses and run now. Make sure you run with something valuable of his to make sure he pays you back otherwise you sell the item and settle your debtor

Dyt:
Sorry to disappoint you young woman
Your money is far gone
In fact he will soon ask for another
He's a cheater
Isn't that obvious enough?
Yes I know you love him
He lives in your heart but pls don't destroy yourself
Sometimes we use our head instead of our heart