LAMO!!!

Ebony and BB una no well

I'm cool my dear(s).

BB,

I don't understand you these days o. How's my baby?

Guys, letz discuss this:

I was watching a soap on TV recently where a girl's(about to wed) younger siblings(with a wide age difference) call her fiance by name. At first, I thought probably cos they are noy Yorubas, but I later discovered that the girl's mum is Yoruba. Should we always embrace western culture and forget ours?

Again, I watched another one, where the kids greet their parents hi mum, hi dad. Am I old school or we don't value our culture anymore?

Tgirl4real:

Guys, letz discuss this:

I was watching a soap on TV recently where a girl's(about to wed) younger siblings(with a wide age difference) call her fiance by name. At first, I thought probably cos they are noy Yorubas, but I later discovered that the girl's mum is Yoruba. Should we always embrace western culture and forget ours?

Again, I watched another one, where the kids greet their parents hi mum, hi dad. Am I old school or we don't value our culture anymore?

truth be told, respect is not a function of what we refer to people as, it's still possible to call someone brother **** and be rude. . .

i call my parents mummy and daddy, dont see how diff that is from mum and dad. hello mummy and hi mum are the same thing.

caveat: i'm not yoruba, and my people aren't big on prefixes. . .lol

Tgirl4real:

Guys, letz discuss this:

I was watching a soap on TV recently where a girl's(about to wed) younger siblings(with a wide age difference) call her fiance by name. At first, I thought probably cos they are noy Yorubas, but I later discovered that the girl's mum is Yoruba. Should we always embrace western culture and forget ours?

Again, I watched another one, where the kids greet their parents hi mum, hi dad. Am I old school or we don't value our culture anymore?

Tgirl4real, no you're not old fashion. Your observation and shock was correctly made.

I find it quite rude infact that a younger girl would call her older sister's fiancee by name. When she shouldnt even be calling her sister by name. We've welcomed the western culture into our own culture. Day by day, the respect for our culture diminishes, which saddens me.


There's no reason for any child, naija bred and born to wake up in the morning and greet his parent like that.
It's not totally the kids fault or the girl's younger siblings fault. It's how society tolerates the act. I'm sure the kids wont greet their parents that way if the parents said something about it.

But then, you have to realize that as time goes by, people adapt to what they find preferable.

Society says "No", society says "Yes". . . . at the end, it's what "I" say when I have my own children to raise that's really going to matter.

i tot u said u were done with this place?

dayokanu:

i tot u said u were done with this place?

fl done with this thread? i laff in afrikaans

FL Gators:

Tgirl4real, no you're not old fashion. Your observation and shock was correctly made.

I find it quite rude infact that a younger girl would call her older sister's fiancee by name. When she shouldnt even be calling her sister by name. We've welcomed the western culture into our own culture. Day by day, the respect for our culture diminishes, which saddens me.


There's no reason for any child, naija bred and born to wake up in the morning and greet his parent like that.
It's not totally the kids fault or the girl's younger siblings fault. It's how society tolerates the act. I'm sure the kids wont greet their parents that way if the parents said something about it.

But then, you have to realize that as time goes by, people adapt to what they find preferable.

Society says "No", society says "Yes". . . . at the end, it's what "I" say when I have my own children to raise that's really going to matter.

babe you really shouldn't use absolutes, as i mentioned in my post, we are not big on brother and sister in my place, it's mostly southwesterners that are into the whole thing. . .

like i said, whether or not you call someone by his name or whatever doesn't mean you respect the person, i know a lot of people that do the whole brother thing but are still as rude and uncouth as anything. . .

so if my sister now marries someone ten years older than me i should call him brother abi? *thunder fire his head!

netotse:

fl done with this thread? i laff in afrikaans
babe you really shouldn't use absolutes, as i mentioned in my post, we are not big on brother and sister in my place, it's mostly southwesterners that are into the whole thing. . .

like i said, whether or not you call someone by his name or whatever doesn't mean you respect the person, i know a lot of people that do the whole brother thing but are still as rude and uncouth as anything. . .

so if my sister now marries someone ten years older than me i should call him brother abi? *thunder fire his head!

Yes, I agree with you, calling someone brother or aunty does not mean you respect that person. But that's not what I'm trying to achieve.

I want them to know why they have to say "brother or aunty". . . because it's respectful, because thatz heir elder.

It's like a mini step to growing up. . . like, why do we have to say "Please. . . " and "Thank You. . . .".

Kids needs to know what respect is, what etiquette is while they still can.

^^OK i get your point now, even though it's wierd when your siblings insist on calling me uncle sha. . .but just for you

Good one FL,

The shocking and annoying thing is that the media is promoting it. I think I will mail the producers of those soaps. It's really annoying. I'm not after aunty or brother. Infact, at a one point in my life I discourage people from calling me aunty until I realized that I was going again their moral upbringing. If a child was brought up to respect her elders, it's wrong for we so-called 'liberated' ones to discourage them.

We have a culture. Let's not allow western influence to dictate how we live.

@ netotse

I tire 4 u 

Tgirl4real:

Guys, letz discuss this:

I was watching a soap on TV recently where a girl's(about to wed) younger siblings(with a wide age difference) call her fiance by name. At first, I thought probably cos they are noy Yorubas, but I later discovered that the girl's mum is Yoruba. Should we always embrace western culture and forget ours?

Again, I watched another one, where the kids greet their parents hi mum, hi dad. Am I old school or we don't value our culture anymore?

IMO, i think shes being a little bit disrespectful by calling her elder sisters husband by name. i wouldnt have a problem with it if she was the older one then calling him by name is no problem in my view. but then again, if her culture has no special name they call this kinds of people i wouldnt blame her. and if the sister has no issues with her young sis, doing so then  . . . . .


i see nothing really wrong in the greeting "hi mom, hi dad" in many instances as long as she doesnt wakeup in the morning and tell me "hi mom". i dont think youre being old fashioned but i personally wouldnt be so strict about it

~Sissy~:


IMO, i think shes being a little bit disrespectful by calling her elder sisters husband by name. i wouldnt have a problem with it if she was the older one then calling him by name is no problem in my view.[b] but then again, if her culture has no special name they call this kinds of people i wouldnt blame her. [/b]and if the sister has no issues with her young sis, doing so then  . . . . .


i see nothing really wrong in the greeting "hi mom, hi dad" in many instances as long as she doesnt wakeup in the morning and tell me "hi mom". i dont think youre being old fashioned but i personally wouldnt be so strict about it

She's Yoruba. And our culture demands she place an "uncle" or "aunt" in front of his name.

Its these modernization thing. . . .

netotse:

^^OK i get your point now, even though it's wierd when your siblings insist on calling me uncle sha. . .but just for you

aha

Tgirl4real:

Good one FL,

The shocking and annoying thing is that the media is promoting it. I think I will mail the producers of those soaps. It's really annoying. I'm not after aunty or brother. Infact, at a one point in my life I discourage people from calling me aunty until I realized that I was going again their moral upbringing. If a child was brought up to respect her elders, it's wrong for we so-called 'liberated' ones to discourage them.

We have a culture. Let's not allow western influence to dictate how we live.

Sweety, you have nothing to fear if you bring your children up the way you think is right. . . . they won't go astray if you hold on to them

nah, i'm just saying in general.

I also noticed dat well behaved kids by responsible parents born and breed abroad holds to our culture more than d ones in naija. D naijas behave like little wannabes. I blame thier parents 4 not teaching them to appreciate our culture.

oh really? you'd think it will the other way around since those bred abroad would be trying to balancing two cultures-birth land and father land

~Sissy~:

oh really? you'd think it will the other way around since those bred abroad would be trying to balancing two cultures-birth land and father land

~Sissy~:

oh really? you'd think it will the other way around since those bred abroad would be trying to balancing two cultures-birth land and father land

The ones born and bread in naija, but left at a young age will often try to hold on to their identity; the comfort of differentiating oneself from a pack of group and the comfort of having a place to belong.

The ones born abroad rarely care about their culture. If they even know their culture lol.


A sensitive question for you, Sissy. Would you send your kids home, to be raised in Nigeria? Why or why not?

FL Gators:

The ones born and bread in naija, but left at a young age will often try to hold on to their identity; the comfort of differentiating oneself from a pack of group and the comfort of having a place to belong.

The ones born abroad rarely care about their culture. If they even know their culture lol.
A sensitive question for you, Sissy. Would you send your kids home, to be raised in Nigeria? Why or why not?

i think parents of those born/bred aboard who dont have a connection to their cultures are hugely to be blamed for the disconnection there. i believe as parents, one of your roles is to instill/make aware your cultures to your kids esp when they are not born in your country of origin. many kids born OV are very much eager to learn about their culture but if you have parents who find it unnecessary, waste of time etc it sort of leaves them blank. many kids born OV hardly visit nigeria or their villages or attend any nigerian cultural events held OVs. and then you have the few of those born there who dont want any thing to do with nigeria or hers cultures and some are even ashamed to be associated with nigeria or africa for reasons best known to them.

@ Ebony to have their primary or secondary education ?

Sorry for the late reply. My mind justs skips the family sec sometimes lol.

~Sissy~:

i think parents of those born/bred aboard who dont have a connection to their cultures are hugely to be blamed for the disconnection there. i believe as parents, one of your roles is to instill/make aware your cultures to your kids esp when they are not born in your country of origin. many kids born OV are very much eager to learn about their culture but if you have parents who find it unnecessary, waste of time etc it sort of leaves them blank. many kids born OV hardly visit nigeria or their villages or attend any nigerian cultural events held OVs. and then you have the few of those born there who dont want any thing to do with nigeria or hers cultures and some are even ashamed to be associated with nigeria or africa for reasons best known to them.

As much as I agree with you, sometimes some parents do try as hard as they can.

All I know is that I'm gonna gonna join that statistics. I'm even thinking of doing exactly what my aunt does. Have them here, then send them home to complete their education up to the last yr of primary school. Let them spend the 5yrs after here, so they wont have to pay out-of-state tuition [I no be maga] . During the time they'r home, they can come and spend their summer break with us
I loff my aunt's children, they're as Nigerian as they possibly can be, and still they have the rights and freedom as any citizen of USA.

~Sissy~:

@ Ebony to have their primary or secondary education ?

either one lol. Would you?

FL Gators:

Sorry for the late reply. My mind justs skips the family sec sometimes lol.
As much as I agree with you, sometimes some parents do try as hard as they can.

Lol. yes some parents do try but i'd say a high% dont even bother. you can imagine those who thinks teaching their kids their native language automatically means they will have 'accents' which they(parents) dont want however, for some reasons when this kids are grown the same parents will be looking for every tom and harry to teach their kids their language and their cultures and some will even be willing to pay

  All I know is that I'm gonna gonna join that statistics. I'm even thinking of doing exactly what my aunt does. Have them here, then send them home to complete their education up to the last yr of primary school. Let them spend the 5yrs after here, so they wont have to pay out-of-state tuition [I no be maga] . During the time they'r home, they can come and spend their summer break with us
I loff my aunt's children, they're as Nigerian as they possibly can be, and still they have the rights and freedom as any citizen of USA.
 

thats good!getting the best of both worlds. the most important imo, is the university edu

either one lol. Would you?

yes i would(?) buthavent gotten the last stamp on it though

@ Post


i was watching a program the other day and it was about child molesters. a father who repeatedly molested his 12yr daughter while she was in his care (shared custody). a man who repeatedly raped his relative for yrs. started when he was 8 and she was 5 till she was about 17 or so. another man who raped four girls, 3 of them known to him and the other man who molested a 5yr while he a 60yr man, a relative too.

oh my, i felt extremely disgusted,mad, angry and all other negative emotions imaginable. felt like vomiting on their useless faces and using a butcher knife to cut off their sick joysticks and poking out their eyes. i literally felt sick inside. gosh how could they? i felt extremely sad for this girls

the topic reminded the tips MC posted here sometime ago about child molestation. which i think every parent, guardian, and everyone who deals with children needs to read

will find MC's tips and repost before i continue how on this sick mens said they targeted their victims, and what parents need to watch out for

from MC p.21

[size=20pt] [b]~Prevention Issues:From Research About Sex Offenders~
[/size]
~48% of Offenders found their victims through Babysitting!!:- Be adviced about where/with Who/people who have access to where you live your child! If Your child suddenly doesnt want to go to a minder's house/neighbour's family friend house,it's very important to try and encourage not frighten the child to find out why!!


~49% of offenders were attracted to children who seemed to lack confidence or were low in self esteem :- Learn to encourage children to talk things out,find out what their problems are if any. . sometime careers/parent get caught up in the cycle of work & ignore signs of a child's issue/changes in child's behaviour


~The majority of sexual abuse took place in the home of the offender/s or the home of the child! :- Again caution is advised about Who you encourage round your child,bearing in mind these predators are faceless! They cud well be anyone!! from a family,relative,family friend!! Learn to open communications between you & your child so if anything inappropraite happens you'll be the first they tell w/o hesitation!


~50 % of offenders carefully tested a child's reaction to sex by bringing up sexual matters or having sexual materials around. .they then subtly increase to sexual touching! :- Now you know what to warn your child against. . .anyone "claiming" to play some kind of "Game" w/ them is NOT to be trusted!! It's important to stress to your child even if he was told "NOT TO TELL",they shud tell you & you wont be angry w/ them. . .[/b]
   

 [size=18pt] [b]~Prevention Issues:From Research About Sex Offenders From Sex Offenders~[/size]

~Offenders  will approached children or their families and offered to play games with the children,or teach them a sport or how to play a musicla instrument :- Be weary of "Certain Adults" showing an interest in one particular child or interest of that child!! Caution: there will be genuine people who have no other motive but still it wudnt hurt to be weary!!



~46% will offer to give lifts home:-This is prolly one of the oldest trick in the book & am sure a lot of parents warn their children not to accept lifts from strangers but when its a familiar face. . .*Sighs* This is where communication is key as the child will prolly tell you that Friend/Aunt/Uncle acted "funny"!!Children are too trusting so warn them it cud be the last person they expect!!



~53% will offer Bribes,Gifts:- watch out for gifts you didnt give your child. . money he/she shudnt have. . . it wudnt hurt to be a lil bit observant!



~44% of Offenders will abuse/try to abuse children in public places. . .wait for this. . . . . some cited popular family friendly[b]Fast Food Resturant Toilets as a fav spot!!!:- DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD GO IN PUBLIC TOILETS ALONE!! some parents/carrers are comfy thinking "the toilets only there" & will allow their kids to go in alone. . bear in mind you dont know WHO is in the toilet w/ your child!! I've witnessed this happen a lot in a popular  food resturant children visit![/b]
   

~Sissy~:

From MC p.21

[color=#990000]

Sissy, I feel you totally on this and sadly this issue is on the increase simply because parents would not face up to it. Just yesterday, I read 2 of such stories in another forum and wished I saw your kind of response there too. Maybe if this response is spread around, it would wake people wake up from their stupid ostrich hide and innocent kids would be saved from this kind of pain.

Read up on this on the section of 'Stories about children from around the world' on this http://www.nigerianparentsforum.com

my dear, the thing tire me o

contd on the child molesters story


the man who molested his 12yr daughter. how it started according to him:

the couple were both divorced and had a shared custody of their 12yr old daughter. the girl stayed with he because it was his turn in the shared custody. according to him, he saw her unclothed while she was sleeping and the all the sick fantasies started running through his mind  and it all lead to touching her v[i]a[/i]gina and molesting her and that was how it all  started. he kept repeating the act and sometimes the girl would be half sleep while he was doing it.

she finally got the courage to tell him to stop touching her, the dad sickly asked her why, her daughter told him "because you are my dad and its wrong" he urged the girl not tell the mother however, she still found the courage and told her mom about it, when the mom inquired he woefully denied it and laid the blame on her daughter. saying, she made it up because she didnt want to stay with him blah blah etc and he still repeated it again and he was finally caught. asked whether he mastrubated when he was molesting her, he said no but always had the images in sick head.
also he thought his daughter enjoyed it because she was quite during the act



======================================================================================================
the thing some men do. smh. i mean the thought/sight of seeing your daughter unclothed should make you vomit and lose you sick wrinkled erection. God save our daughters. i mean, if a girl cant be save from his own father then whats really left?

~Sissy~:

Lol. yes some parents do try but i'd say a high% dont even bother. you can imagine those who thinks teaching their kids their native language automatically means they will have 'accents' which they(parents) dont want however, for some reasons when this kids are grown the same parents will be looking for every tom and harry to teach their kids their language and their cultures and some will even be willing to pay

thats good!getting the best of both worlds. the most important imo, is the university edu

yes i would(?) buthavent gotten the last stamp on it though

I always wonder the Nigerians even back home here would not bother to teach their kids their indigenous languages? A carryover of colonial mentality I dare say? terrible but the way it stands now, we can hardly impart our cultural values without the vehicle;our local languages. Its shameful to say the least.

~Sissy~:

@ Post


i was watching a program the other day and it was about child molesters. a father who repeatedly molested his 12yr daughter while she was in his care (shared custody). a man who repeatedly despoiled his relative for yrs. started when he was 8 and she was 5 till she was about 17 or so. another man who despoiled four girls, 3 of them known to him and the other man who molested a 5yr while he a 60yr man, a relative too.

oh my, i felt extremely disgusted,mad, angry and all other negative emotions imaginable. felt like vomiting on their useless faces and using a butcher knife to cut off their sick manlinesses and poking out their eyes. i literally felt sick inside. gosh how could they? i felt extremely sad for this girls

the topic reminded the tips MC posted here sometime ago about child molestation. which i think every parent, guardian, and everyone who deals with children needs to read

will find MC's tips and repost before i continue how on this sick mens said they targeted their victims, and what parents need to watch out for

Thanks for this post, Sissy. I dont believe we've covered that on this thread. It's becoming a huge issue, esp in Nigeria.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-466144.0.html Pedos in Lagos.

~reading over your tips/prevention~

Nobody, nobody, not even my children or their father should complain about me watching them too hard or guarding them like babies.

In this word, you cant even trust anybody anymore. Nobody has any sense of moral or taboo, they've either justified those disgusting acts with religious beliefs or. . . or. . . . I dont even know.

How can a man look at his own daughter and masturbate? Seriously, what is going on?

Any man that still baths his daughter while she's passed the age of 3 should be watched closely.

All I can say is that, no matter how incoherent your child might sound, encouraging him/her to break their silence and talk. Dont just throw whatever you;'ve heard out of the window, investigate it. And always expect denial from the other party. Kids dont just say anything, they say anything they witnessed. Even if they might be wrong, give them benefit of the doubt. Then INVESTIGATE

Sick world:

Mother molesting son
father molesting daughter
brother molesting sister vice versa
Uncle molesting nephew
Uncle molesting niece
Aunt molesting nephew
Aunt molesting niece
cousin molesting cousin

sick.

no we havent truly covered the topic and i think now is the time cause this sick crimes are turning up every blessed day. i truly weep of our kids,girls and women. i mean its truly sad.

i cant even read that thread cause the more i try to read it, the more pissed off i become

Jehovah God please us

FL Gators:

Thanks for this post, Sissy. I dont believe we've covered that on this thread. It's becoming a huge issue, esp in Nigeria.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-466144.0.html Pedos in Lagos.

~reading over your tips/prevention~