Ebony-Silk:

This is the technology world. . . .catch am off guard and take the child's pic.
Show it to the mother and school officials, because the child might try to smoke on campus (I.E. Restroom)

~Sissy~:

lol, if only 20th century parents were up to current tech.

Tgirl4real:

@LadyT, it's really a sad case. . . what a high level of moral decadence.

@d smoking question, at what age would u advice ur child to stay clear from dat friend considern d fact dat children are considered adult when they are 18 and above?

Tgirl4real:

@LadyT, it's really a sad case. . . what a high level of moral decadence.

@d smoking question, at what age would u advice ur child to stay clear from dat friend considern d fact dat children are considered adult when they are 18 and above?

Tgirl4real link=topic=:

What instruction should one give a child that is being bullied in school? Do u ask d child to fight back or to report to d teacher?

~Sissy~:

wot do u guys think on this one,

what would you do with your daughter if she comes home pregnant? u knw how naija unlike the US has this stigma attached with out of wedlock pregnancies, the shame it brings to the family and everything. Ebony-Silk, Tgirl, Sistawoman and co oya over to you

My 9 year old little girl just went thru this and my advice to her was to:

Kick that little girls butt and let me deal with the fall out.
The girl was poking her with pencils and my daughter was trying so hard to ignore her that is why she came to me.

The next day the little girl tried it again.  My baby, I am so proud of her, she waited until after school and beat the girl up.  Now all the girls leave her alone and dont mess with her.

**osisi:

sistawoman wrote:


This sistawoman of a woman is not well o 
How can a mother promote violence ?
areamother
how's Femi coping with this kain ajakaja woman

~Sissy~:

wot do u guys think on this one,

what would you do with your daughter if she comes home pregnant? u knw how naija unlike the US has this stigma attached with out of wedlock pregnancies, the shame it brings to the family and everything. Ebony-Silk, Tgirl, Sistawoman and co oya over to you

~Sissy~:

wot do u guys think on this one,

what would you do with your daughter if she comes home pregnant? u knw how naija unlike the US has this stigma attached with out of wedlock pregnancies, the shame it brings to the family and everything. Ebony-Silk, Tgirl, Sistawoman and co oya over to you

benedictac:

Thank you all i have really leant alot from your various posts but my challenge now is that:

i had a child out of wedlock who will be 7 this year and now i am married, my hubby has requested i bring the child to help me at home that he doesnt like house helps. Now how do i face it as in i have not been with this child for about 6years.

i think i own him that motherly love that i have dennied him in the past but how do i do all these and still not make my hubby feel bad that my attention is shifting to my son as we are still trusting God for our own child.

Pls i really need good advice.

benedictac:

Thank you all i have really leant alot from your various posts but my challenge now is that:

i had a child out of wedlock who will be 7 this year and now i am married, my hubby has requested i bring the child to help me at home that he doesnt like house helps. Now how do i face it as in i have not been with this child for about 6years.

i think i own him that motherly love that i have dennied him in the past but how do i do all these and still not make my hubby feel bad that my attention is shifting to my son as we are still trusting God for our own child.

Pls i really need good advice.

mohawkchic:

~I Find the highligthed bits very disturbing to say the least!It's Obvious You're are not emotionally attached to your son,So you prolly see no wrong in your hubby requesting you bring Your son home on the basic of helping you w/ housework! That is so wrong!

~If the purpose of you having your son back in your life is to help you out & not on the grounds of You having a mother & son r/s. . . making up for the years lost,i'd advice he's better off where he is! Me think You're torn between your consceince of not been in your son's life  but scared of the consequences of having him in your life . . most of all you're worried about how it will affect your r/s with hubby . . .

~Reading your post,it came across like you already have a life planned out w/ your hubby that didint include your son,now all of a sudden your faced with making a decision that could well affect the whole dynamics of your marriage/relationship . . which is more Important to you? Your Son Or Your Hubby?


~Prior to your hubby Requesting you bring your 7 year old to come help out as an househelp in your home have you ever considered having the child back in your life?

~My only Advice is Answer  the questons i've asked & reflect on it,I hope you'll be able to come to a decision . .

~Oh BTW this is as objective as i could be given the information you provided,am not trying to be Judgemental in any way!

isuomo:

My daughter who turns 7 in 3 weeks was being bullied in school in London at the age of 5, she complained to me a few times and my wife had a word with the teachers but it continued i then took my daughter out one weekend to London Aquarium and i spoke to her at length (please dont think a 5year old is too young to be spoken to) during the train ride and advised her to give the boy a good going over knowing fully well my girl is the tallest in her class anyway, i explained to her that she must not be coming home to tell mum and dad of such things again and must learn to stand up for herself.
About a month after, we got a letter from the school that we should come in and i went to see the school head who informed me that my daughter gave a boy a black eye and the boy is off school i simply told the head to check her records and find out how many times during that term has my wife come in to complain about bullying my daughter and nothing was done about it i then informed her that i should be contacting my solicitors to write the school and warn them of the consequences of their incompetence. Maybe she thought i was kidding, 4 days later my solicitors wrote the school and theatened to take legal action if nothing was done; the school head beat a retreat, wrote me a 3 page letter apologising and promising that the boy will be kept under watch from now on and also admitted that indeed other kids had complained about Jamie.
I dont like violence but in my daughters case we were at our wits end because we know that she is not someone to be messed with but at the same time she wont hurt a fly today she is in her school council as the representative of her year.

benedictac:

Thank you mohawkchic, i am very emotionaly attached to the boy that is one. b4 we got married the issued had been settled during our marriage counseling we agreed that the boy will leave with us after wedding.

i requested for a househelp which he refused. i also asked if i could get his nice to leave with us and he also refused then he said that i should go and bring my son not becoz he wanted him as a househelp. His reason was that he wasnt ready for any house help/madam probs and all that.

B4 our wedding till now he has been payin his school fees and i send any other thing i can send but for the school it has been his responsibility i thank God for that.

Besides, i dont like his leaving conditions. he leaves with his grandma who is above 70years of age i know she has really been of help but i just need him.

I think and believe he loves my son as his. men are generally jealous when you pay much attention to your children even if they are the producers of these children.

This is where i am confused coz u really cannt understand men.

benedictac:

Thank you all i have really leant alot from your various posts but my challenge now is that:

i had a child out of wedlock who will be 7 this year and now i am married, my hubby has requested i bring the child to help me at home that he doesnt like house helps. Now how do i face it as in i have not been with this child for about 6years.

[b]i think i own him that motherly love that i have dennied him in the past [/b]but how do i do all these and still not make my hubby feel bad that my attention is shifting to my son as we are still trusting God for our own child.

Pls i really need good advice.

isuomo:

My daughter who turns 7 in 3 weeks was being bullied in school in London at the age of 5, she complained to me a few times and my wife had a word with the teachers but it continued i then took my daughter out one weekend to London Aquarium and i spoke to her at length (please dont think a 5year old is too young to be spoken to) during the train ride and advised her to give the boy a good going over knowing fully well my girl is the tallest in her class anyway, i explained to her that she must not be coming home to tell mum and dad of such things again and must learn to stand up for herself.
About a month after, we got a letter from the school that we should come in and i went to see the school head who informed me that my daughter gave a boy a black eye and the boy is off school i simply told the head to check her records and find out how many times during that term has my wife come in to complain about bullying my daughter and nothing was done about it i then informed her that i should be contacting my solicitors to write the school and warn them of the consequences of their incompetence. Maybe she thought i was kidding, 4 days later my solicitors wrote the school and theatened to take legal action if nothing was done; the school head beat a retreat, wrote me a 3 page letter apologising and promising that the boy will be kept under watch from now on and also admitted that indeed other kids had complained about Jamie.
I dont like violence but in my daughters case we were at our wits end because we know that she is not someone to be messed with but at the same time she wont hurt a fly today she is in her school council as the representative of her year.

Tgirl4real:

Ha! This is a dicey one.

@ Ebony, that isn't a good idea girl. You need not throw her out. She has done something terrible, I agree, but you need to be patient before she does something even more terrible. You also need to let her see her mistakes and not think you are endorsing her wrong behaviour.

Ebony-Silk:

Sissy, I see you're online. yay!! Got a question to ask you. . . .

What do you do about a kid who doesn't want to go to church? And if he goes to church, he only goes to disrupt the service?

Do you allow him to stay home (meaning he wins) or do you continue to force him to go (meaning you win)? Or is there no winner in this situation?

~Sissy~:

Hey Ebony

what is the age bracket of the children?

i would like to know his reasons for not wanting to go to church and why he disrupts others in the church, however, i don't really think any reason he gives me will deter me to allow him to stay home and eat the pot of rice! he MUST continue to go church with me. you know, when you let them get away with things like this especially at the early stage, it is kinda hard to bring them back. and i wouldn't want them to go off without knowing the God that i worship. cox i believe that taking them to church starting at the early stage would be a crucial element in their faith formation.

i recognize that sometimes children do disturb and distract others, however you have to work hard to teach them how to behave at Service. you could tell them; "Wiggle if you have to, but Be Quiet!". Also i'd suggest maybe sitting in the front row so that they could see what the pastor/priest is doing and maybe it will get their attention, when things do start to get "vocal", you could just whisper to them "Look! Look at pastor/ priest! See what he is doing!" This may seems to settle them down and grab their attention.

Dont allow them to stay home, no matter their little sounds, take them with you, and maybe if your church has sunday school or other types of children program i'd suggest you enroll them. and maybe depending on the age of the child, you could try to explain to him the importance/reasons of going to church.

~Sissy~:

i sure do know what you mean ! cox in my church i have these little kids making noise, every loud (their parents dont really give a damn and during announcement you could hardly hear! they only take them outside when they start crying) and the little boy even brings his toy car to drive on the church seats! you can imagine the noise

since he is still a baby, i'd maybe suggest bringing materials for him . This can be children's liturgy books, picture books, crayons, and small snacks, just to keep him a little busy, cox yes like u said sometimes it gets a little boring and dry for adults not to talk of kids!

Ignore comments that belittle your effort to make him part of the church life. People who make these comments about behavior of children have little understanding of what the Church is about or God's acceptance and welcome of little children. I'd suggest you to have found low tolerance level and his behavior may appear to be worse when you are more concerned about what people are thinking rather than concentrating on encouraging him during service to keep quite. Don't let "bad" days discourage you. Evaluate what has happened, change expectations if necessary and try again. You are not alone to seek advice from others with kids in the church as well.

mohawkchic:

~ Dont they have like a creche in your church for kids? Some churches i've been to have a special room for all the kids . .they teach/play w/ them depending on the age & their understanding