Earlier this year, my best female friend got engaged to one of my guys in a proposal at her house. They are presently planning about their traditional marriage and white wedding, and about the future.

She has been my friend from our first year in school till we graduated. I ate frequently in her house, held academic discussions late at night in her house, and in turn, always helped her do small stuffs such as changing her light bulbs, fixing her curtains, helping her draw water from her water reservoir tank downstairs to the fourth floor where she lived (when the overhead tanks are empty). Some of my covenant friends actually thought I was hurt when it became public that both of them were engaged. But I was not hurt in any way; because of the following truths I'm about to share with you.

There has been much ado about being in the friend zone. Some guys actually think it is a curse to be in the friend zone, but I have a contrary opinion. I was not hurt because of the six truths below.

1]. I understood ahead of time that it was possible to have a healthy friendship with the opposite sex; without sex involved.

It was in large part due to my religious disposition; and because I grew up in the midst of five adorable elder sisters with whom I related effortlessly with. I grew up knowing that ladies are humans too who need just pure companionship without us guys harrassing them for sex.

However, whether we like it not, there will always be a time that romantic feelings arise from one person for his/her friend in an opposite sex friendship. Sometimes, these feelings are addressed (under the sheets) and sometimes it is not; but it does not negate the fact that you can be best of friends with the opposite sex without sex involved.

You have to challenge and change your perception about opposite sex friendship.

2]. We defined the basis of the friendship ahead of time.

Clarity is critical. Nothing is a match for clarity. Clarity enables you to know exactly where both of you are headed to. She needed my spiritual swagger (I was her campus fellowship pastor), my resourcefulness, my manly disposition during her rough days (we all have rough days), while I needed her intelligence, her companionship and relaxing gists, and of course those tasty dishes that was always waiting for me in her house almost every day.

Do you both share the same opinion about the friendship? Don't just hang around her, hoping that she will develop affection for you as time goes on when she has shown you times without count that it's never gonna happen.

Guys listen up. When a lady says no, she really means it. I once heard that ladies make up their mind whether they're ever going to have sex with a guy within 30 seconds of meeting the guy. When that psychological block is built in her head, go and waste time trying to get laid.

3]. My expectation was kept in check throughout our years in school.

I spoke to myself every now and then, to drum it into my subconscious that we were not dating each other. When my guy (who was already a doctor) started going out with her, I was not threatened at all. She knew that I did not feel threatened at all, so she gisted me always about her dates with her man. Amidst the gist, I will keep on reminding her to check the kitchen before the food gets burnt. That was my main concern jare.

4]. The friendship served my purpose. I'm so sure it served hers too.

I passed my exams because her class notes were up to date. She copied notes during lectures while I pressed my phone. She discusses the salient points of the lecture for me at the end of the day. I ate wonderful, assorted dishes in her house almost every day. She also offered me wise counsels (free of charge) on what to do during challenging times.

In return, I was there for her. She never lacked my presence whenever she needed things done that a guy can do. I gave her quality companionship. We borrowed money from each other regularly, and most times we never paid back. We both benefitted.

Stay away from friendships that do not benefit you. Holding on to opposite sex friendships that does not benefit you is a waste of your precious time on earth.

5]. She was not my only friend; and most especially, I had quality male friends too.

Never make the mistake of making one person your all in all. It is an investment that backfires. Have a network of male and female friends. At the end, when the bond of friendship with your bestie is no longer as strong as it used to be (because she will surely be gone, sooner or later), you will have other close buddies to lean on in the day of your distress.

6]. I was not foolish; because I learnt from a previous experience.

I remember being among the groom's men for my secondary school bestie. I thought she will never leave me, but then, she owes me nothing. So I learned these five principles above very early.

How many of you have been friend zoned before? When she moved on, you were hurt right? How many of you are still making that same mistake again? Someone reading this now is presently hanging around a lady who is not shifting her grounds; hoping to impress her one day and get laid.

I have a perfect definition for a foolish person. Someone who does not learn from his experiences, nor from the experiences of others. If you channel the energy you put into trying to get laid to trying to add value, you'll become an unforgetable person.

My prayer for you is that you receive a tremendous shift in your perception of opposite sex relationships today.

Grace to you. Grace to me too.

brb

INTROVERT:
brb

ladyF:

two of una...una no get work?

Op leav all these tin... U been like d babe badly....

Friends Zone!!!



The best to be if you sabi the job.

Ifa hear say this topic will not make frontpage...

Introvert and LadyF, I pray make God proverb job for two of nna... Nna see nna life?

Me, have time for friendship with a lady? What benefits could I ever get from a lady friend that I cant get in excess from my male friends.

I become her friend, I start taking care of her needs while konji slowly kills me, she goes to furck the hell outa her boyfriend. Am I mad?

I am talking from experience too OP... I had a female friend I thought would allow me straff her one day, I bought her countless things countless times, gave her advice, etc. She would just deceive me with a quick wet peck on the cheek, and would go furck her boyfriend. After about a year, I knew if I didnt play smart she would elude me forever, so I invited her to my house, when she came in I started crying, O feigned it so much it looked real. I told her while crying profusely that I feel bad that I could not find love, she tried to console me but I cried more, I then told her all i needed from her to feel good was a tight cuddle and she gladly obliged. Na so after 5 minutes, I started kissing her neck, kissed her forehead, her lips, removed her top, removed her bra, socked her pointed breasts, removed her trousers, her pants and furcked the shit out of her. The friendship ended that day and I felt fulfilled. Aint gat time for shitt.

Cc: Lalasticlala, Ishilove

saasala:
Ifa hear say this topic will not make frontpage...

Introvert and LadyF, I pray make God proverb job for two of nna... Nna see nna life?

Lol see this one o, make God proverb job for me?
U better remove the log in ur eye. Hilarious!!!

I remember when my ex got engaged. My friends thought I'd be hurt, but I felt nothing but joy for her. Sometimes you just have to take yourself out of the equation. It doesn't always have to be about you. Grown-ups will understand this better.

mentorandfriend:
I deny am before?

lmao.....

i have come to realise that the BEST YOU CAN BE WITH A FEMALE is just be her FRIEND immediately you try to move to the next level, you have spoiled the friendships and if you are not lucky you may never bring the friendships to where it used to be. Speaking from experience

mentorandfriend:
Sure! Seriously.

well. Its so hard acceptin d fact dat ur female bestfrnd got engaged.. Though u"d be happy for her buh deep dwn, u"d wish u wr d one.. Dats only if u secretly liked her

saasala:
Ifa hear say this topic will not make frontpage...

Introvert and LadyF, I pray make God proverb job for two of nna... Nna see nna life?

Me, have time for friendship with a lady? What benefits could I ever get from a lady friend that I cant get in excess from my male friends.

I become her friend, I start taking care of her needs while konji slowly kills me, she goes to furck the hell outa her boyfriend. Am I mad?

I am talking from experience too OP... I had a female friend I thought would allow me straff her one day, I bought her countless things countless times, gave her advice, etc. She would just deceive me with a quick wet peck on the cheek, and would go furck her boyfriend. After about a year, I knew if I didnt play smart she would elude me forever, so I invited her to my house, when she came in I started crying, O feigned it so much it looked real. I told her while crying profusely that I feel bad that I could not find love, she tried to console me but I cried more, I then told her all i needed from her to feel good was a tight cuddle and she gladly obliged. Na so after 5 minutes, I started kissing her neck, kissed her forehead, her lips, removed her top, removed her bra, socked her pointed breasts, removed her trousers, her pants and furcked the shit out of her. The friendship ended that day and I felt fulfilled. Aint gat time for shitt.

ladyF:

Lol see this one o, make God proverb job for me?
U better remove the log in ur eye. Hilarious!!!

I would have loved to help you persuade Seun to make you a moderator and be on his payroll, but you are not intelligent enough to moderate even the dumbest Nairaland thread.

kingcity:
i have come to realise that the BEST YOU CAN BE WITH A FEMALE is just be her FRIEND immediately you try to move to the next level, you have spoiled the friendships and if you are not lucky you may never bring the friendships to where it used to be. Speaking from experience

Then furk the friendship. Let her go abeg, it will save you a lot.

If I try to move to the next level and mar the frienship in the process, I would be like, Thank God ooo.

saasala:


Then furk the friendship. Let her go abeg, it will save you a lot.

If I try to move to the next level and mar the frienship in the process, I would be like, Thank God ooo.

some people are best when u are thier friends

the friendzone is the place to be jor

OP your head dey dere

mentorandfriend:
Lol. You're so funny!

thank you.
that one na my favourite compliment

kingcity:
some people are best when u are thier friends

Nope, you necessarily do not need to become friends with somebody to get the best from them. You base your relationship on the subject matter only.

mentorandfriend:
I think it depends on the footing both of you started, and the definition both of gave it from the beginning; or what do you think?

when i meet lady, d first thing on my mind is to get to know her and be neutral...if she turns to be the kinda person i like, i get close and be her friend... But most times when i try to move further it always backfire. So thats why i conclude its better to just be their friends

when you have your own babe.. friendzone wont bother you

Only single guys complain of friendzone...its natural,every guy most af a girl dat friendzoned him

kingcity:
when i meet lady, d first thing on my mind is to get to know her and be neutral...if she turns to be the kinda person i like, i get close and be her friend... But most times when i try to move further it always backfire. So thats why i conclude its better to just be their friends

If you move too close and it backfires, then ditch her. Drop her asss.

misspicy:
Only single guys complain of friendzone...its natural,every guy most af a girl dat friendzoned him

So you want to friendzone a guy who is in a relationship huh... How would you feel if your boyfriend keeps a close female friend?