www.metroparrot.net/2015/08/how-do-women-in-polygamy-cope.html?m=1
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From a female reader

"I have been married for seven years and I
have always lived separately from my husband.
He is in d military and works in Abuja while
I'm a banker working in Lagos. My husband
just informed me he is taking a second wife
and there is no going back. I requested for a
divorce, he refused saying he still loves me.
We have 3 kids and are practicing Muslims.
Please how do women in polygamy handle it
because I am so traumatized just thinking
about sharing my husband with another
woman.

...



.....


..

patience and perseverance...

I use to wonder also

But women can cope wen he has money

I really wish to read comments..
In this case, she's even enlightened...

it ain't easy at all,jes the thought of another woman caressing And making love to your hubby can make u go gaga,but with time u wld get used to it,moreover its allowed in your religion,so u shld have been anticipating it,but some quick advices,still treat him nice else u wld push him fully to the other woman,tank God u have a career,put your energy into your career and kids,it wld help lessen d pain,and finally,jes love him and don't tink abt his sex escapedes with the other woman,its a mans world.

Havent been in one hence i seriously dnt knw,here to read comments..

prettysassygirl:
it ain't easy at all,jes the thought of another woman caressing And making love to your hubby can make u go gaga,but with time u wld get used to it,moreover its allowed in your religion,so u shld have been anticipating it,but some quick advices,still treat him nice else u wld push him fully to the other woman,tank God u have a career,put your energy into your career and kids,it wld help lessen d pain,and finally,jes love him and don't tink abt his sex escapedes with the other woman,its a mans world.

My sister you killed it there!
the mere thought of him with another man is a serious put off.i don't know how men do it.i just fon't know.well it's a man's world.i would have said she should pray against it but since her religion permits it ...
I wish all women you have found themselves in this situation wisdom and special grace of God for healing and forging ahead.
as for those who have not seen this; may we never see it o.(amen)

It's kinda easy when u r not leaving in the same house. Skip the part of thinking about it. Just how to move on. U know women tend to fight over little things in the house like kitchen stuffz n d rest. Since u r not going to live in the same house. Its just the matter of Mentally accepting it

We're waiting for the "husband sharers" to give their reply.
Rubbish life.

I have been married for seven years and I
have always lived separately from my husband .
He is in d military and works in Abuja while
I'm a banker working in Lagos. My husband
just informed me he is taking a second wife
and there is no going back. I requested for a
divorce, he refused saying he still loves me.
We have 3 kids and are practicing Muslims.
Please how do women in polygamy handle it
because I am so traumatized just thinking
about sharing my husband with another
woman.

The reason he wants a 2nd wife is because of the physical separation and not religion per se but it helps his case.

She should get her own side bobo too.
If he doesn't like it, then he will realize how his new wife will make her feel.
The worst he can do is divorce her which is the better alternative to sharing dirty blokkos.
If he doesn't want the divorce, then he will stick to one wife.

No time for rubbish.

You know that Islam permits it and yet many Moslems all over the world no longer practise it.
But did you and your husband discuss this issue before marriage Did he promise you never to remarry? Are you his first wife?.
Prettysassygirl has given you the best advice. It is difficult and no woman likes it. It is also painful bit you learn to handle it.
Since you don't live under the same roof it not so difficult.
As a true Moslem woman you would put your trust in Allah and have faith. This would not be an escuse to stop being a good wife..

Is painful.But take your mind away from this issue.Thank Your God for a job and kids,what of women in similar opposite situations?;no job,no kids,ok maybe lots of kids and totally dependent on the man.My dear,be happy.concentrate on your kids and job. He still loves you too,what of those practising monogamy and yet No LOVE.Be happy and make your kids happy too.

prettysassygirl:
it ain't easy at all,jes the thought of another woman caressing And making love to your hubby can make u go gaga,but with time u wld get used to it,moreover its allowed in your religion,so u shld have been anticipating it,but some quick advices,still treat him nice else u wld push him fully to the other woman,tank God u have a career,put your energy into your career and kids,it wld help lessen d pain,and finally,jes love him and don't tink abt his sex escapedes with the other woman,its a mans world.

What kind of advice is this one? Didn't you read that she wants a divorce? And you are talking of treating him nice, like he's not fully with the other woman or do you 'halfly' go to ask for someone's hand in marriage?

2CatWoman:







The reason he wants a 2nd wife is because of the physical separation and not religion per se but it helps his case.

and you know this how?

OP if he doesn't want a divorce, you should insist and separate from him, especially if you guys agreed on it before marriage, though I'd like to think you knew, since your religion permits it, either ways, don't stay in an unhappy marriage.

Women in polygamous situations handle it by deceiving themselves!

She asked a question, and most of you here tend to induce her with bad thought. I'm not a lady, but I've learnt from my mum aswell. What has happened has happened. In as much no lady or woman wants to share her man with any ladies.
(1). Be Patience with your husband and her. You already have children for him as well, but if you feel cheated emotionaly, or embarrassed then tell him you can't cope with his taken action, then take a walk. Orless it with all lead to commotion, and the children may as well not be happy with dad, if they grow up seeing mum not happy with dad.
(2). Be friendly to her ( your mate). Because that's the only way a polygamous home can stand, if you still want ur husband. when men get emotional attached with another lady when their spouse is far, you may hardly stop them from loving another one when He is devoted to her. You being friendly to her will equally make her to include you in other necessary decision that may arise up in the family.
(3) Be guided in wisdom when taking decision. There's always a bit jealousy in such home, and at the other hand, it also rely on your husband if he wants her to see you as the first, don't try to manipulate her, sorry if I use the word manipulate, if she gets to know, she could make the union inconvenient for you to stay as well . Cheer.

I'm here to read comments

.

And if any of these so called polygamous men gets to know one of his wives keeps another partner, hell will be let loose.. what an irony! !!

Treat others how you would want to be treated. Nobody is immune to heartbreak or pain...

Divorce is not easy,truth be told.Is really tough.Even if you have a well paying job,it is very difficult.If you love your kids don't walk the "divorce" lane.I tell you cos a close pal's parents divorced at age two.He is all grown but he finds it difficult to understand why the mom took a walk.Is not always the same.Time and close relationship with your creator will heal your heart.Just give this time.And somebody mentioned to love your husband.Dont let anything change dear,love him as before,but be careful though (healthwise) so you don't contact rubbish.#myhumbleopinion

So it pains women?i didn't know cos so many of them are now jumping into relationships with married men knowing fully well that those men have wives at home

The fastest way for him to grant you divorce is to commit adultery to his face, trust me you won't spend a night at home the moment he finds out. Men can't take what they give so he'll angrily grant you the divorce

however this doesn't apply to women cool with their husbands being public property

next

Visit this thread to read interesting submissions on matters arising in polygyny, like: Is it advisable for the first and second wife to live together? ; should a man that is not capable of fulfilling the sexual needs of the first wife take a second wife?
https://www.nairaland.com/4112695/polygyny-should-live-second-wife#61411074