Why entrust your kids for 12hrs with a nanny you do not trust her judgement on basic issues like friendship?

I even think it is better for your kids if there are other kids in the other home she goes to. If she completes her task as agreed daily there is no cause for alarm.

If you trust her to take care of your kids then you should have confidence about other areas of her life too.

Lastly, why is it that women just love treating house helps badly? 80% are calling for her sack, why? I once sat in the midst of women with househelps and asked why they pay them so lowly considering how critical what they do is to their homes? They all unanimously nearly skinned me alive. That day, I realised women are the biggest oppressors in the society. The enjoy the master slave relationship if they are in control more than men.

Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.

Why ? This is part of growing up. Visiting the neighbors is no bad thing.. In fact it might be a good development if you want to track your helps behaviour, you too should make friends with your neighbours .
Or are the neighbors irresponsible? If not, then I don't think k its a bad thing at all to let your kids get social outside the school environment..

I'm guessing your discomfort is based on not knowing your neighbours well enough.. Find out who they are and then you will know what to do.

When you say allies though you make it sound like your house is an episode of survivor... Has it come to that?

You either insist that she stops it or she leaves. She s giving room for the possibility of the kids being abused. Sorry to say, with the current increase in child abuse cases, I will not be comfortable with my children at the neighbour's house. Abeg ooooo, before [color=#006600][/color]Stories that touch start springing up.

raayah:


How will they feed kids if they are not working??

must both parents be full time career courteous?husband nd wife leave home at 7am to 7pm..what are they pursueing?there primary concern should b d kids

Genius101:
must both parents be full time career courteous?husband nd wife leave home at 7am to 7pm..what are they pursueing?there primary concern should b d kids

They're pursuing money.

Barselonia:
I never like the idea of a nanny take care of my children when I give birth sha...... ......

i neva knew nigerian men are nw giving birth

mznuez:
Send her parking

Stop that! Has she talked to her about it?

u seemz to b fwendly & nice coupled wit d fact dat all d chores assigned to ur nanny cam b handed witin sn hr or 2......

ma advice for u is to increase d nanny‘s work load dat she wud b wondering were she got carry over frm & i suggest d following shd b included in her line of dude..
1.she shd start washing,starching & ironing d cars everyday.
2.she shd sweep both ur compound & street ure staying (less i forget she shd b going to sweep n clean ur church)
3.d walls,roof & floor of d hauz must b washed daily.

make i hear say waist pain no calm ur maid dwn

yomi007k:
Those people aint Robots.

They need 2 mingle wt other ppl or else depression gona creep in.

So long as she does her job well n does no harm, I don't think dts a big deal.

Are u minding her, cos you have someone under you doesn't mean the person shouldn't live her own life. So far she is getting the job done, no wahala

@ mystical888.

Is there anything about your neighbourhood or the residents that you are not comfortable with? If your answer is yes, maybe it's time to find and relocate to a more comfortable environment.

Secondly, how much are you paying this 40 something year old lady that she has to commit 60 hours or more of her life every week to work for you?

Have you got TV and other entertainments inn your house...such as radio or music? What sort of programmes are accessible on your TV?

I don't want to believe that you are a sociopath or sadist. Someone is working 7am-7pm and you and some phools here are suggesting that she needs more work load.. . For all those animals advising you to add more work load for her, may their hands and legs break with more work load.

What is her offence? That she went to your neighbours to watch TV with your kids If someone like you would take time to know your neighbours, you wouldn't be online posting this. If you are not happy with your neighbours or the environment, address it with her otherwise stop being paranoid and mean. She and your kids are not under some house arrest.

Btw has that woman not got a family to endure 7am-7pm everyday in your house??

The lady works at least 240 hours every month..that's from mon to fri. or more if she works weekend and people are asking you to add more work......... ...isi gbasaakwaa ha there. What nonsense....go get a slave.

Well, your experience is not that different from mine. I will let you know which may be of help to you.

Mine house help started very well. Intact we made her to be part of the family to the point that she even forgot her main purpose in the house. She loves our kids, does her work well although she is very slow to handle things and you need tobkeepbreminding her lots of things. She doesn't still and always in door even when we are out. I ensure that our GoTv is charged to keep her busy when nobody is at home.

Things suddenly changed when my cousin stayed a month in our place to write exams. She started lying, rude to my wife and start beating the kids anytime she was disturbed and stressed. When I not used her behaviour, I started looking very close. One very sensitive things that she does was to delete every received and calls or messages. When I observes this, I told myself that we are in trouble. She also confirmed that she had been influenced by my cousin.

I used to travel outside Lagos on a montly basis due TI the nature of my work. Because I am not comfortable with her lately behaviours, I came home unannounced from my trip to actually vet what this angel house girl does when nobody is at home. To my surprise our house is lucked. How, why and where is this girl? I called her line pretending as if I was still far. she confidently told me that she at home in her room. After our discussions with so much lies upon lies, I told her where is she, she still insisted that she is in her room until I told her that I am home.

We had to call the woman who brought her to us. She was asked to explain where she go and she had to open up that a guy in our neighbourhood had promised her #200,000 to start a business so that she be on her own.

She had turned a new leaf now. We are still working on her and at the same time looking for another house help.

Keep praying for her, always talk to her and love her too. That little love has a long way to go in their life.

I pray that God will help you, your work and family.

Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.

At your age u still asking for advise on what u need done. Are u in full control or just plain silly? 99% of the advise here are from children wasting time to post nonsense. You didnot go to your husband for advice or are u both quarrelling?

Is this what you have reduced parenting to?

NemzySeries:
u seemz to b fwendly & nice coupled wit d fact dat all d chores assigned to ur nanny cam b handed witin sn hr or 2......

ma advice for u is to increase d nanny‘s work load dat she wud b wondering were she got carry over frm & i suggest d following shd b included in her line of dude..
1.she shd start washing,starching & ironing d cars everyday.
2.she shd sweep both ur compound & street ure staying (less i forget she shd b going to sweep n clean ur church)
3.d walls,roof & floor of d hauz must b washed daily.

make i hear say waist pain no calm ur maid dwn

You are a horrible person. Your sort should not head any organisation. This man didn't complain about the lady not getting the job done. He is not happy that the women went to the neighbours to watch TV with the kids.

Did you even ask how much the lady collects every hour,day,week or month.

She cleans the house, school runs, prepare food, teaching etc... ...

You people should turn her into a donkey.

agrovick:

Are u minding her, cos you have someone under you doesn't mean the person shouldn't live her own life. So far she is getting the job done, no wahala

I taya for ds women

kennygee:
you don't have TV or cable TV in your house?

Cause that could be a lie she asked your daughter to cook up for you in other to hide other things that could pose as a danger.

Are your neighbours Christians?

If they are not, what kind of relationship do you have with them?

These are questions you should ask yourself before taking action

@bolded.....

So if they are Muslims, they are cruel, harmful and irritating abi....

And all Christians are saints ko??

This post reeks of hypocrisy meeehn....

Sorry OP: Just a quick question, how much do you pay her on monthly basis? For someone to take care of your kids for that long with house chores?

Your Nanny visited a neighbour friend 2 times in 2 years, literally means once a yr and you are fuming?

She is human and socialising is normal, in as much as it is not frequent while neglecting her responsibilites then it should be fine.

Socialising with nice and reasonable neighbours shouldnt generate issues unless you are not in good term with your neighbours. Even if thats the case, you should not join her in any issue with your neighbours.

Only warn her not to be frequent there and better still give her some resources to visit other places of your choice once in a while. Personally, I think it's better if she relate with people around, as boredom and loneliness can lead to inefficiency and depression. Please put someone you love in her situation and you will realise she hasn't done any wrong.

Tell her your concerns in a friendly manner and let her know you are not against it to certain extent in as much she plays according to d rules

All the best

Lagusta:


@bolded.....

So if they are Muslims, they are cruel, harmful and irritating abi....

And all Christians are saints ko??

This post reeks of hypocrisy meeehn....

I never said so.

That's why I asked what kind of relationship she has with her non Christian neighbours.

You're the one speaking from the abundance of your heart.

some slave masters are saying "increase her work" as if you would do same to your child, abeg free the babe joor make she go phuck small, person body no be firewood


calabardick

No long thing, TELL HER TO GO IMMEDIATELY.

phillipcoz:
Nanny at 40... and you think is her hobby or she does that for pleasure, i understand you have the right to the kind of lifestyle you want for your household, but give the woman breathing space as well by making her feel like a human, you don't expect a 40 years old woman to sit all day with kids watching Ben10, her mind will end up becoming idle and you should know what that means. Naija! 7a.m to 7p.m and people are still asking for more work load, i wish you guys what you wish the woman.

just take it easy with her if she is getting things right concerning taking care of the children, because those nanny really have influence over the children and be careful before your nanny and neighbours starts make you top of there discussion.

Thank you oo, imagine 12hrs wilth children and you want to stop her interacting with people, all those women complaining on nairaland that they are afriad that the nanny will gossip, of course she is going to gossip, what about them do they gossip? asking a woman not to gossip is like asking a leopard to change his spots, ok if you dont want her talking to the neighbours can she invite her friend to visit her. how much are you paying this woman anyway?

Since you aren't conformable with that during her working hours then tell her not to take your kids over there or even discuss your family issue with them. Simple!

menix:


So a CCTV camera will stop her frm going to the neigbours house wivout confronting her

Wise fellow.

A CCTV will arlest show the general idea of what is going on, while the madan is not around and could possibly pin-point what made the nanny head to neighbour house............ You lack deductive reasoning, Alway have solid evidence to nail your enemy before confronting them head-on in a battle.........

luba9876:
if the nanny/househelp does all of these, then what do you do for children as a parent? do you think it's easy being lonely, having no one around to atleast say hi? I feel you only need to warn her on discussing your family issues with outsiders.

I wonder sha

babythug:

See if you can add more chores maybe that will curb the idle time.

Have a word with her too and firmly express that you don't want that.

Begin to explore back up nanny options.

Don't let her know your daughter gave you the information

just remembered the Egyptian ruler giving orders to increase the workload of the Israelites. Are u a slave rider?

ambient:
all you women up there advicng her to sack her or give her extra load are wicked what happened to simple telling her not to go there.wicked housewives

I can't believe what I'm seeing, layer they will say that Nanny poisoned her children

Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.

Simply communicate to her what you want and expect from her.

Personally I see not reason why my children would go out to watch TV at a neighbours' cos I prefer to ration the number of hours kids spend watching TV.

Damsman10:
I wonder sha

I join you wonder o!
Na today I know say wickid people full Nairaland....... See as evil advice full ground so?

ambient:
all you women up there advicng her to sack her or give her extra load are wicked what happened to simple telling her not to go there.wicked housewives

You can very well see and hear from them... The lot devilishly tracing their roots and ancestries to Quueen Jezebel of the Bible.....
Nanny works 7am - 7pm; See how the OP deceitfully neglected to tell us how much of a pittance the over worked nanny was being paid.....
Even the TV in her homestead too is out of her reach little wonder she goes to the neighbors......
I cannot imagine how badly she (Nanny) gets treated....
I will suggest you add to her burden.......let her share being intimate with your spouse..... The lazy educated Nigerian woman's wickedness against her less privileged peer is epochal....

Mystical888:

Hello House,

I'm in a dilemma concerning my househelp and Nanny.

I've noticed she has developed a relationship with the neighbours which I'm not comfortable about.

She isn't a live in hand but has been with us for 2 years now.
She is a woman in her early 40s, a Yoruba Christian who stays not too far from my place.

She helps with housechores when we are away at work.
Her job role is to:-

(1) prepare the kids and take them to school every morning.

(2) Return to the house and do housekeep.

(3)Take the kids home after school hours.

(4)Prepare lunch for them and help them with their home work.

Her hours of work is between 7am and 7pm when she resigns to go to her house.

My daughter has told me how they've gone twice to watch TV next door in the home of both neighbours. (Nanny took them there).

Should I be worried about this development or is it part of the growing up phase for the kids?

Seems she isn't challenged enough with the workload and what does she do when she's at the neighbours.

Please reduce her work time. 7am to 7pm? Haba. I think that it is too much considering her age.

Just find a way to do away with her.Dont even tell her your plans or trying to counsel her taking your kids to your neighbour's house as that would end up raising a full blown problem between you and your neighbour as she would end up telling them how you threw her out cus of her taking your kids to their house.

Useless ranting by women to sound caring. You believe your children over the nanny? Just tell us that you are uncomfortable with the nanny's influence on the children. She does her work perfectly and some idiots are here shouting you should sack her, whats her offence? She hasnt wrong you but you want to send a forty year old back to the unemployment market because of soemthing you can handle by sitting her down and vopice your concern. Women being their wosrt enemy as ever, idiots.