Hmmmmmn... I've seen similar cases too.

MarvellousGod:
So you're saying it ok she hides her major financial projects from her partner? As long as it doesn't endanger the family? Hmmmm, such a joke.. why are they married then?

Op, such things happen in loveless marriages or marriages already in crisis. .. the op's topic Is totally different from surprising your partner with a car or land. ..
I'm all for total disclosure in marriage. ...

Hmmm for real? You are all for total disclosure in marriage? I wish you all the best dear but please be careful.

EnlightenedSoul:
For reasons best known to her.

What are the reasons? This is the question of this thread!

If its from their earnings, and doesn't endanger the livelihood of the family, what's the harm in it?

Trust issues. This is the harm in it.

@ Topic

The reason would be distrust (so many possible levels) - prevent that or fix it and there would be no need for either party to hide anything.

EnlightenedSoul:


Please, they're married not chained together. It has nothing whatsoever to do with love. Whats wrong with having personal projects and endeavors as a married person? Must a couple always be up in each others' grill, and tell each other everything?

I respect your opinion, but it isn't the be all or end all. If your wonderful mother didn't sit you down and tell you this, it's actually something of a time-honored tradition, lol. Women from time immemorial have cached away what their men would've just as easily risked and/or squandered away. When men would take risks as they're prone to, and lose out as is the high probability of taking any 'good' risk (and the all too common theme), who do you think suffered the fallout? In whose best interests was it to have a 'backup plan', if you will? Not to say that 'private money' should serve merely as danger/emergency money - whatever the purpose or pleasure it serves, it served.

My mother was an accountant for a private firm and a planner (I get this from her), and I can tell you that we never knew, at any given time, what that brilliant, ethereal woman had up her blessed sleeve, only that it was visionary in nature and a blessing indeed. And that's how it should be, IMO.

In fact, if you've a noggin' up there at all and for some strange reason just haven't gotten around to starting your own private 'stash', I bid you stop reading and start investing. And I say that in all seriousness. Never depend totally on any given person. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. Be your own lifeline.

You toooo get sense...
No mind people wey no go ever fit understand.

7COLOURS:


Hmmm for real? You are all for total disclosure in marriage? I wish you all the best dear but please be careful.

yeah and it's working for me

Thanks and wish you the best too..

SUV:
I did d same too. Bought 2 plots of land and immediately I got d papers and allocation, I asked my hubby to escort me to somewhere...when we got to d land I showed him, gave him d documents (which was bought in his name and mine as next of kin). I then told him ' this land is ours'.

U need to see hw he fell on his knees holding me so tight in tears and thanking me.
since then, he transfers every income of his into my account after removing some he wants to spend.

Depends on d motive shaa.

In his name?!?! Na wa o. Good for him

innervoice:


What are the reasons? This is the question of this thread!

It is as I said.

My answer, "For reasons best known to her" covers all possible 'reasons' - the mentioned, the unmentioned, and the equally plausible position of having no concrete 'reason' at all. Any/all of which would be, as implied, best known to her.

Trust issues. This is the harm in it.

Explain. In what way does the expenditure of personal funds on personal projects, goals, missions, and/or material goods, in a responsible manner, suggest "trust issues"? Indeed, what at all does it have to do with either "trust" or the other person?