Question 1:
What does it mean if a guy / girl goes and visit his / her gf's / bf's family members? Can it be treated as a friend just visiting and no other intention? is there such things?



Question 2:

What does it mean when a guy / girl goes to his / her gf's bf's family wedding (sister/brother/aunt/uncle wedding)?



Question 3:

What does it mean when a guy / girl always wants his / her gf / bf to talk to his / her parents and family members on the phone?


What is on your mind when you do these three things to your partner?

Q1. Depends on what expectations the parents/family of the host/hostess have, this will in turn depend on the information provided by the host/hostess.

Q2. The seriousness depends on the family, but is often a sign of commitment to a long term relationship

Q3. Pre-screening/Telephone interview  . It could also just be an opportunity for the person at the other end of the line to attach a voice to the name e.g. 'so you are the . . . . . . . I have been hearing so much about'

These are my humble opinions

Question Number 1. The presenter presents his/her partner to his/her family as a bf / gf

gabrywyl:

Question Number 1. The presenter presents his/her partner to his/her family as a bf / gf

On site interview

@Gabby, de three questions, i think, revolves around both parties (b/f & g/f) try'na build a strong relationship by consciously bringing their family's attention to it.
But Uhmm! About de third one, it's a kinda pre-screening like biina said!
Holla!

Interview and pre screening for what exactly?

gabrywyl:

Interview and pre screening for what exactly?

For a tenure track 'spousal office'

HUH? Really? Ok this is for the family's opinion right? But what about the person it self. Like when you do all these to your partner, what are actually thinking and planning?

Gabrywyl, which one you be: interviewer or interviewee?,  'screener' or 'screenee'?

gabrywyl:

Question 1:
What does it mean if a guy / girl goes and visit his / her gf's / bf's family members? Can it be treated as a friend just visiting and no other intention? is there such things?

It depends on the kind of visit.
If she is visiting and leaving the same day then it can be viewed as a casual visit but if the visit requires staying over then it's sending some signals accross that it's more than friendship.
Above All, It's the guy/lady  hosting that will really determine the meaning of the visit.(by the way he/she potrays it to his/her peeps)

gabrywyl:


Question 2:

What does it mean when a guy / girl goes to his / her gf's bf's family wedding (sister/brother/aunt/uncle wedding)?

Same as above,
The Host determines what it means.

gabrywyl:


Question 3:

What does it mean when a guy / girl always wants his / her gf / bf to talk to his / her parents and family members on the phone?


What is on your mind when you do these three things to your partner?

It means he/she has been telling his/her peeps about the person and he wants them to get to know each other on the phone.
Personally, Only the lady I intend getting married to will sleep over on a visit to my parents.

biina:

Gabrywyl, which one you be: interviewer or interviewee?, 'screener' or 'screenee'?

none. I was just wondering in a general perspective.

IFELEKE:

It depends on the kind of visit.
If she is visiting and leaving the same day then it can be viewed as a casual visit but if the visit requires staying over then it's sending some signals accross that it's more than friendship.
Above All, It's the guy/lady hosting that will really determine the meaning of the visit.(by the way he/she potrays it to his/her peeps)
Same as above,
The Host determines what it means.
It means he/she has been telling his/her peeps about the person and he wants them to get to know each other on the phone.
Personally, Only the lady I intend getting married to will sleep over on a visit to my parents.

hmmm. . . I see. . . Interesting ooo. . . So you mean to say if you introduce her to your parents as your lover, that means you are serious?

gabrywyl:

HUH? Really? Ok this is for the family's opinion right? But what about the person it self. Like when you do all these to your partner, what are actually thinking and planning?

That depends on the family and the person.

'For our family house', you don't introduce your 'flings' or 'casual bf/gf' to the family formally. Once you introduce a bf/gf to the family formally, it is assumed that you have found the other satisfactory and are fully committed towards marriage. You would have to make a strong case to void the candidacy of the said bf/gf.
There are no overnight stay privileges until they have spoken to your parents (and preferably met in person).

I have friends whose family are more lax, and the fact that you have been introduced is of little or no relevance. You can be substituted at any point in the game, even before half time.

biina:

That depends on the family and the person.

'For our family house', you don't introduce your 'flings' or 'casual bf/gf' to the family formally. Once you introduce a bf/gf to the family formally, it is assumed that you have found the other satisfactory and are fully committed towards marriage. You would have to make a strong case to void the candidacy of the said bf/gf.
There are no overnight stay privileges until they have spoken to your parents (and preferably met in person).

I have friends whose family are more lax, and the fact that you have been introduced is of little or no relevance. You can be substituted at any point in the game, even before half time.

Wow! Your family house is similar to mine ooo

@post
it means dat both of them are ready to take the almighty convenant

gabrywyl:



hmmm. . . I see. . . Interesting ooo. . . So you mean to say if you introduce her to your parents as your lover, that means you are serious?

You see,
I hold my family sacred and I can't just be bringing flings all the time.
I don't live/work in the same town with my parents so I get to keep my flingings here at my base.
The day I bring anyone home is the day I officially start planning on settling down and my people know about that resolve.

lady bam:

@post
it means dat both of them are ready to take the almighty convenant

But have you heard of someone whomis doing it yet they dont take this seriously?

IFELEKE:

You see,
I hold my family sacred and I can't just be bringing flings all the time.
I don't live/work in the same town with my parents so I get to keep my flingings here at my base.
The day I bring anyone home is the day I officially start planning on settling down and my people know about that resolve.

So have you found that your dream girl?

hello,i just want you to know dat you can only be seen as a friend since you quys are not yet married.ok. , hamzo1

gabrywyl:


So have you found that your dream girl?

Still Searching. . .

gabrywyl:

But have you heard of someone whomis doing it yet they dont take this seriously?

yh, a lot of times.
but normally,dis acts siginfy a greater interest

@ poster

There really isn't any big deal about all your questions, its just that we re sorta used to having isolated relationships is all.
I mean, if you re obviously "involved", then a wedding is just another outing unless of course you ve got something in mind and you re scared to talk about it, but if you re both clear on what you re doing, as per where your r/ship is heading, then its no biggie.

@question 2
would you give your friend who was beside you your phone to say to your f/f? if yes then whats the difference btw that and a family member?
If no? why not?

Every r/ship brings two sets of people together, not just you and your g/friend but at the very least your circles of friends.

think about it and stop missing out on fun things to do !!!

You see in my own view toward d issue i think all i can say is eat d whole three question answers is foundation.all d 3 all stands on foundation in which it was initially built on, hamzo1

IFELEKE:

You see,
I hold my family sacred and I can't just be bringing flings all the time.
I don't live/work in the same town with my parents so I get to keep my flingings here at my base.
The day I bring anyone home is the day I officially start planning on settling down and my people know about that resolve.

Now this is a real Ekiti man.

We hold our family sacred. Period

@topic the simple answer is that when you go to the extent of introducing your babe or guy as ur g/f or b/f to your family then there is the possibility of the relationship going towards marriage. But also that is the most delicate part of it all. Cos we all know that in africa you don't just satisfy the man only you must at least pass the family test also. So only meet with da family when you re feeling confident enough. Other wise that could be the begining of the end. Except your partner is a really matured and liberal person.

*Toyinrayo:

Now this is a real Ekiti man.

We hold our family sacred. Period

Abi My Sister
and where have you been all this while?

Thank you guys for your feedback and contributions. More feedbacks are appreciated.

gab, i see you have the western mentality, here in 9ja, any1 u take for an occassion is seen as an invitee who will part of the pple to finish the rice, eba, amala, isi ewu, turkey and orisirisi thats available. no seriousness attached abeg!

I was just asking the questions jor. . . It did not have to do with anything which is related to my life oo

Gabster, it means that I would want her to marry me

SCORPIONN:

Gabster, it means that I would want her to marry me

yeap

IFELEKE:

Abi My Sister
and where have you been all this while?

Hiding from you

na lie she was banned by me
right TOYIN

You don ban me because of your oko (IFELEKE)?
oga o