cococandy:
And the new lady in your life will respect you after discovering you were cheating on your ex-wife?

You don't get it. It goes both ways.

Genycharl:





All this wahala for just one man? My friend poison him and move on

Toks2008:


Why on earth wont i be open for discussions?

The question is; Must you insult to discuss?

If ladies expecially can learn how to intelligently articulate their views without vulgarity i guess it will be easier for sound arguements to take place.

And please i beg everyone who reads my threads to understand that i write pragmatically and not from my personal dogma.

I repeat,i hve never cheated on any woman in my life yet it does not change the fact on ground that most guys cheat on the woman in their lives so people should focus on the objectivity of this article and blot out the writer...only then can we have intelligent discussion.

Mamatee07:


If you are indeed a marriage counsellor you should not be teaching all this one sided things. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction Women are not zombies that should just take any crap especially these days when many of us have financial independence and few kids so no staying because you can't take care of the kids. Go and ask Doctors how many married men have STDS and they won't tell their wives. You expect women to leave miserable lives with cheats and always have to fear for their health? That's not the kind of life you should advice anyone to live. Instead you as a counsellor should be telling both parties the consequences of cheating so we can raise a better next generation. If you lot keep endorsing men cheating they will never change, the only thing that will happen is the women will change to cope with the cheating men (already happening) in whatever way they see fit an you can't blame them for that.

Kachisbarbie:

Yawns...
Lil wonder faithful men are going extinct, with people like you and this tokunbo OP, what will you guys teach your sons?
Close your eyes for a minute and imagine giving your daughter/sons this kinda orientation.


If a man cheats from 2010-2016, and I get to find it out in 2016, does it change the fact that he has always been a cheat?
Probably born a cheat, trained and skilled to be one by men like you and this OP.


Don't mind him, once you disagree with him_ he would start that "my threads are not for juveniles, it's for married people, also people with high IQs".
Whereas he reasons off at times, he isn't married either...Einstein I know, but I don't know him.

geli12:
@toks2008, what d hell is the thread for, u should come out and address ur fellow against infidelity and not advice d female to endure such useless act.
Did u consider HIV and the emotional trauma involved.
If a man does not have discipline or control of his manhood, he shouldn't talk or marriage he should remain single until he understands what marriage is all about.
Infidelity is wrong, I will ensure to teach male children and I am advising you to desist from it because you sound like a bloody one.

cococandy:
What would the guys do in such situations?
That's what we will do.

Yeye questions.

ishiamu:



One thing with people is that they hate hearing the truth cos the truth hurts, I have a gf God in heaven will bear me witness we've been together for 5 years in those five years I haven't cheated her with another lady, but she has cheated on my not twice or thrice still I try and forgive although I haven sworn not to forgive if it repeats cos 5 years is enough for someone to learn, but my type of men are rare my friends all cheat I see what happen around let's say the truth no need lying to make people happy when it's all a lie, men that hardly or don't cheat are 5% believe that

All these statisticians on NL, where exactly did/do you guys carry out your survey?
Very funny @ 5%, probably the 5% are kids in primary school... .

Rocktation:
OP as a man, ask yourself these questions. Whatever answer you give yourself, is the answer a woman would prolly give.

Toks2008:


coco i learned you are married but the way you argue is baffling to me.

Dirst i nver said all men cheat but i only asked simple question...what would you do IF...

How can you jusxtapose a cheating man and woman? how does it sound in your hear?

A man telss a new chic he broke up with his wife cos he slept with another lady and a lady tells a new guy she broke her marriage cos she slept with....and you want to tell me same reactions should come up...habba lady think...

Toks2008:


Chai..wahala dey o..

If only every lady can just end their sermon by choosing one option out of those provided i guess guys would know the mindset of the ladies.

Aunty..i don hear..if im attending to a lady in this situation,i would ask that same question...WAT WILL YOU DO IF?

If your answer is not listed in the options please still go ahead n tell us wat you would do.

Toks2008:


Chai..wahala dey o..

If only every lady can just end their sermon by choosing one option out of those provided i guess guys would know the mindset of the ladies.

Aunty..i don hear..if im attending to a lady in this situation,i would ask that same question...WAT WILL YOU DO IF?

If your answer is not listed in the options please still go ahead n tell us wat you would do.

ishiamu:



One thing with people is that they hate hearing the truth cos the truth hurts, I have a gf God in heaven will bear me witness we've been together for 5 years in those five years I haven't cheated her with another lady, but she has cheated on my not twice or thrice still I try and forgive although I haven sworn not to forgive if it repeats cos 5 years is enough for someone to learn, but my type of men are rare my friends all cheat I see what happen around let's say the truth no need lying to make people happy when it's all a lie, men that hardly or don't cheat are 5% believe that

Fearcom:


See egbon what I know is that this life is just like going to a market where thousands and thousands of wrapped packages are available and you are permitted to choose only one and you are asked to choose wisely...some are attractively wrapped and packaged; others are not so attractively wrapped and packaged: you are only permitted to unwrap your gift when you have paid and gone home...wetin you see after the gift is unwrapped....well, take am like that

Toks2008:


Why on earth wont i be open for discussions?

The question is; Must you insult to discuss?

If ladies expecially can learn how to intelligently articulate their views without vulgarity i guess it will be easier for sound arguements to take place.

And please i beg everyone who reads my threads to understand that i write pragmatically and not from my personal dogma.

I repeat,i hve never cheated on any woman in my life yet it does not change the fact on ground that most guys cheat on the woman in their lives so people should focus on the objectivity of this article and blot out the writer...only then can we have intelligent discussion.

ishiamu:



One thing with people is that they hate hearing the truth cos the truth hurts, I have a gf God in heaven will bear me witness we've been together for 5 years in those five years I haven't cheated her with another lady, but she has cheated on my not twice or thrice still I try and forgive although I haven sworn not to forgive if it repeats cos 5 years is enough for someone to learn, but my type of men are rare my friends all cheat I see what happen around let's say the truth no need lying to make people happy when it's all a lie, men that hardly or don't cheat are 5% believe that

Memejem:
I don't recall I ever insulted you. If I did I apologize I am stating my opinions based on the opinions you also posted.

I really don't like how you group females into one group as if they all act alike. You tend to generalize and I don't appreciate it. You state 'if ladies can learn how to articulate thier view without vulgarity"

Throughout this whole debate I have never once been vulgar. I don't like that. Please change that when you reply.

I originally answered your questions that if I had an unrepentant cheating husband who when confronted about his infidelity refused to change his ways then I would leave the relationship.

If as a woman I tried to meet my partner halfway and came to him in a respectful manner and told him how I felt about his actions and he refused to acknowledge them and try to mend the relationship. I would exit the relationship. What am I staying for?

Many times in marriages there are antecedents to why a spouse would go outside looking for sexual pleasure. There may be faults in the marriage and at times tthe woman could be at fault, but most times it's a joint fault of both parties. If I genuinely try to change and try to get my partner to compromise with me and he's unwilling. Then there is no relationship for me to stay for.

This is how I feel. There is no longer any trust, bond, or love left

Toks2008:


You have been faithful for 5yrs? wow you try..na im be say i surppose dey hall of fame cos i was faithful for 12 good yrs and i will still remain faithful to my new lady regardless of the fact that most ladies are not worth it.

I stay faithful not because of yeye love but because i am an ambassador of christ on earth.

But will i rather come online to fool ladies who wants to be fooled anyways or lie to them because they love lies?

If my threads make you uncomfortable as a lady please stop reading them cos i wont stop writing facts whether it gets you mad or not.

Kachisbarbie:

All these statisticians on NL, where exactly did/do you guys carry out your survey?
Very funny @ 5%, probably the 5% are kids in primary school... .

Toks2008:


You have been faithful for 5yrs? wow you try..na im be say i surppose dey hall of fame cos i was faithful for 12 good yrs and i will still remain faithful to my new lady regardless of the fact that most ladies are not worth it.

I stay faithful not because of yeye love but because i am an ambassador of christ on earth.

But will i rather come online to fool ladies who wants to be fooled anyways or lie to them because they love lies?

If my threads make you uncomfortable as a lady please stop reading them cos i wont stop writing facts whether it gets you mad or not.

Toks2008:


The comment you quoted was not for you.I was trying to explain the funny nature of many ladies who make comments.

cococandy:

Tok claims to have never cheated in his life.
You claim to be faithful and have even forgiven your woman who cheated severally on you.

Yet both of you claim these are rare things for men to do.

So you're the only special ones around? I hear ya.

Have you considered that maybe it's not that rare among men as you claim?

Toks2008:


Im sorry i have edited and number 4 is now number five and i muust say you are likely not to have issues in your marriage with this reasonable mindset.

I have conseled many married ladies and 8 out of 10 issues bothers on the sexual infidelity of the man and after i finish talking to them they tend to realize the truth.

No man is worth your stress and while we know there are men who will not cheat on their wives,there is usually no stamp on their heads that they will be faithful.

My write ups are usually deep and very hard for the immature at heart to decipher. I believe if every lady can care less as difficult as it may sound and ignore a philandering hubby,the happier they will be.

My advice for the guy who have decided to tow this lane is to respect the wife n do it far far away and also use a protection to reduce the chance of bringing home sti to the woman at home.

Most men are not nterested in having you leave for another lady but they just want to have a taste of any emotionally vulnulrable lady who brings herself so cheaply to share another lady hubby but wen you start making trouble wiith him and trying to prevent him from unleashing his passion,that is when trouble starts.

A good guy can turn bad and a faithful man can bcome a reckless philanderer so these questions are very vital only for a lady who is faced with the situation.

ishiamu:




Well I can't keep explaining but it's rare for a man to forgive a cheating GF... when even the GF don't contribute financially to him rather he does to the girl... I wonder why you can't see any sense in what I said

Vikky014:


5 smetimes 4 and i will do dt 4 with his friend then divorce him straight away and will never look back