I really don't know how best to title this thread but I will try my best to tell my story and be as brief as possible.

I come from a family of six. I'm the fourth child of 3 boys and 3 girls. My immediate elder sister and immediate younger brother were sickle cell patients so we lost both of them due to lack of care.

My dad was a successful business man and I started my early childhood as a silver spoon until he decided to take a new wife. This signaled the beginning of long years of suffering in which the woman eventually left him when the chips were down.

By the time I finished secondary school, I had no one looking out for me though I occasionally traveled to spend the holidays with my mom.

Growing up was tough for me because all the while my step mom was with my dad, she frequently abused me verbally and made me do chores with the house maids.

This took a toll on me emotionally and by the time I grew into a young adult, I was having bouts with depression which affected my academics. I eventually gained admission into the university but I did not fair well academically.

To cut the long story short, I dropped out and made up my mind to follow the entrepreneur's path.

Fortunately, my dad regained himself after a few years of struggling with a little support here and there.

My elder ones also found a firm footing in their career and business.

As it is now. It looks like I'm the only one left who is yet to find direction. I've tried a few things and failed. I'm now gradually slipping back into depression. I no longer feel motivated due to the frustration.

To be honest, I often times fantasize with the thought of ending my life. What bothers me most is that my elder ones don't seem to care, as a matter of fact I'm beginning to feel like I'm no longer part of the family as far as they are concerned.

I am writing this to seek wisdom from family section members on the right steps to take.


All I need now is some sense of direction and possibly rediscover myself. I really desire to make something out of my life. To achieve meaningful success and be a positive source of inspiration despite my travails and what I've been through.


Thanks.

God is the author and finisher of our faith..
Do not give up now that it seemed everywhere is blocked especially with your siblings because you have gotten to that lighted part of the tunnel. Right now all you need is FOCUS and you will get there ok?

I would also like to request that this should NOT be taken to the front page.

All I need is good quality advice to direct me to right path as I wouldn't like to be bombarded with confusing comments.

I am ready to answer any more questions if needed to have a better picture.

chocolateme:
God is the author and finisher of our faith..
Do not give up now that it seemed everywhere is blocked especially with your siblings because you have gotten to that lighted part of the tunnel. Right now all you need is FOCUS and you will get there ok?

To be totally honest, all I see is dark clouds hovering all around me. No light in sight.

celibate:


To be totally honest, all I see is dark clouds hovering all around me. No light in sight.

if you don't see anything positive about yourself, then there is no need for anyone encouraging you.

never give up hope, cos something is for sure,, there is always light at the end of the tunnel..

chocolateme:
if you don't see anything positive about yourself, then there is no need for anyone encouraging you.

I don't want to say I'm hopeless but that's the way it is for me.

To put things succinctly it seems my siblings have decided to turn their back against me.

But it's not entirely their fault.

@Celibate
let me reply to you as if you were my son (no sugarcoating):

#1 i suggest you STOP trying to compare yourself with others and instead cherish the man you are, however/whoever it may be! see how you are doubting yourself at the slightest setback. if you dont believe in yourself then why should anyone? listen to yourself:"i had to do chores and was verbally abused" boo hoo! when people had to go hawk in the street to get 1 meal a day, here you are acting like an over privileged baby. i suggest you stop acting like the silver spoon raised man that you "should" have been, and instead accept fully who YOU have become.

#2 stop blaming this and that for your predicaments and instead accept that this is LIFE, and work with it! the reason the business failed is because YOU were not good at it, now stop acting like a biatch (excuse my French), get off your aaass, dust yourself off, and use what you have learned in this failed venture to "possibly" succeed in the next one. one thing is certain, what you are doing aint the way to go.

#3 if you are a miserable person now, then chances are you will be a miserable boss, a miserable bf, a miserable son etc so WORK on YOU and be positive about life. its all about taking ONE positive step at a time. everything you wrote is from one negativity to the next, why dont you instead COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS and start afresh from there. are you homeless?! are you deadly sick? are you handicapped? are you deaf and dumb?! are you starving?! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!!!!

#4 what business did you get into and why? i suggest you find something that you are passionate about and try to find employment in such field. at least, if the business is not working well, you can enjoy life regardless.

#5 there certainly are many people who love and care for you, the important question is HAVE YOU TOLD them exactly what you wrote here?! also, remember that they have their own lives to live and they cant be babysitting you. what SPECIFICALLY do you expect from them?! when you know, then go tell them! they cant read your mind.

celibate:



I don't want to say I'm hopeless but that's the way it is for me.

To put things succinctly it seems my siblings have decided to turn their back against me.

But it's not entirely their fault.

Everybody is responsible for his/her choices. They are your siblings truly but they have no compulsion to do your bidding.

As it is, you have life in you, that is a big positive. A living dog is better than a dead lion as there is hope for the dog.
Now you have to put your acts together. Decide on what you want to do with your life. Map out strategies on how you can achieve them. Take it one step at a time and you will get there.

Although, it is not as simple as that because you will encounter challenges but it should rather encourage you to reach your goal than discourage to have a good ending story to tell.

Don't give up, you still have life and it is never too late to start doing something.

This OP is just ranting like a sadist sha,,what if u came from ma family,probably u wud ave soaked garri with otapia pia...No one owes u a F*ck in this life N*gga except God....Your parents, siblings, friends et al. are just stepping stones...You should have tried ur utmost best to complete your tertiary education,its never too late..Don't blame any body for your woes,u just have to learn how to hustle man,ave sold zobo drinks, ave sold recharge cards, ave done dry cleaner...My Dad is a Millionaire,but plenty family brought its own issues,I was a kid when I learnt that this life, every man for himself....Get Up and Hustle tomorrow dude,its better u try and fail than sit down and lament.....As for the entrepreneurship aspect,,this poultry farming is bringing in cool cash oooh, my friend has become rich over night in just 2 years sha,there are other hustle as such that pays...You could also take up a teaching Job u know, Police recruitment is coming up soon as well...Boss Hustle joor ,no dey yarn like woman

Thank you MRBrownJ

I will work at certain things you pointed at.

@bellong I appreciate your comment as well.

Nonetheless...I wouldn't like to push blames as I am totally responsible for my life and the choices I've made. So maybe It's high time I turn a blind eye at my siblings even though there are certain things too hard to overlook.

For example, my elder brother who is a banker would be the last person I'd seek advice from as regards business because from my experience, he would always give me reasons why a business wouldn't succeed instead of trying to help explore potentials.

Not once, not twice and the last conversation we had ended by him asking " what if you don't have a brother". Somehow that stuck and I decided not to bother seeking advice on any business idea I have.

That's been almost 5 months now.

I wouldn't like to bore you with all the details now but your comments are very much appreciated @Justdulla

Like others have said, as an adult no one owes you anything in this life, you need to realize this first. Secondly, everyone cannot succeed as an entrepreneur, some do better working for others, have you thought about getting a job? People have different personalities that help them succeed in certain occupation you will do much better working for someone than working for yourself.

Please turn your hymn books to page 157

This is my story this is my song, praising my saviour all the day long.-2x

Verse 2 now

perfect submission , perfect delight, visions of rapture now burst on my side. Angels descending, dreams from, echoes of mercy whispers of love

now let's go

this is my story this is my song praising my saviour all the day long


next

You have spoken my mind.

I wanted to type something similar but if I type some raving nl resident lunatics will say sambarry has started again and that's why I decided to sing the hymns we used to sing in Church those days as a child

Justdulla:
This OP is just ranting like a sadist sha,,what if u came from ma family,probably u wud ave soaked garri with otapia pia...No one owes u a F*ck in this life N*gga except God....Your parents, siblings, friends et al. are just stepping stones...You should have tried ur utmost best to complete your tertiary education,its never too late..Don't blame any body for your woes,u just have to learn how to hustle man,ave sold zobo drinks, ave sold recharge cards, ave done dry cleaner...My Dad is a Millionaire,but plenty family brought its own issues,I was a kid when I learnt that this life, every man for himself....Get Up and Hustle tomorrow dude,its better u try and fail than sit down and lament.....As for the entrepreneurship aspect,,this poultry farming is bringing in cool cash oooh, my friend has become rich over night in just 2 years sha,there are other hustle as such that pays...You could also take up a teaching Job u know, Police recruitment is coming up soon as well...Boss Hustle joor ,no dey yarn like woman

Thanks @Piddgin for your thoughtful suggestion.
I'll like to point out that this thread should not be seen as a mere rant or another sob story.
I sincerely came out to seek wisdom and advice from well meaning familylander and no one should see this as an opportunity to diss or insult another.


My brief job experience.

My very first job outside of family business is to work as a cafe attendant.
This was at a time I couldn't help but do something useful with my time as a teenager.
I was also making gsm calls and selling recharge cards at the same cafe.

The cafe was located somewhere at Surulere and it was managed by a University graduate at that time. I was assigned to assist him when I complained to my church pastor at the time that I needed something to do to stay busy. I the time I started, the business was making barely 3,000 Naira daily but when I joined, the daily income rose to as much as 7,000 Naira.

This is to tell you that I'm quiet good when it comes to customer relations when the needed business structure is available. All I needed to do was smile and be friendly. People in the neighborhood kept coming back.

My family didn't support the idea of me working for someone because according to them, "they could provide all that I wanted."

So it wasn't long before I had to quit the job to focus and gaining admission into the uni.


After leaving school, I also had a brief stint with an ICT firm, however shuttling from the mainland all the way to Ajjah was a bit of a challenge so much that I had to sleep in the office for a whole week sometimes but then I also had to quit due to bad management, not paying salaries on time and petty office politics. I just didn't see the coy staying afloat in the distant future so I had to leave.



Had to chip this in just to paint a clearer picture.

If we all begin to share our stories u will thank God for that same family you think abandoned you.

Oya ask yourself how much you contributed to the success of each and everyone in your family. I am very sure you contributed nada. In this life, it is you and you and only you alone.

Your brothers may be angry that you had the opportunity to be a graduate but you felt otherwise and uselessed it. Now they want yiu to learn the lessons quietly.

Dont give up on the hustle. It may take some time but only you can rewrite your story. Stop comparing. There are people out there that yu are still better than and they haven't thought of suicide yet. You need to be grateful to God, for everyday you see is an indication that you will live to share your story.

Dont be depressed. Go out there and keep yourself busy. Endure and succeed.

Hang in there bro!

Did anybody notice how brilliant the posters writing is ?

He expressed himself clear, detailed and thorough manner. Something most graduates can't possibly do.

Poster is not only intelligent going by his responses but is also highly educated though he may not have a degree to showfor it.

Lastly, OP can you manage to get a PC and buy cheap 3d animation software and tutorial videos.

You can teach yourself and acquire useful well sought after skills.

You can also try programming.

I wish you the best. All will be well cos every succesful person has got a story to tell.

Thanks @Guitarlife . I'm actually computer savvy and very conversant with wordpress.

Although I've been thinking along the line of App development but for fear of the bandwagon effect it will soon experience just like web designers.

So what 3D animation software would you recommend just in case I have access to a good laptop.

@celibate, I am not insulting or dissing you, I want you to understand that most people have had challenges of some sort in life, it's quite normal. Your brother asked you a good question, but because of your overly sensitive personality, you took it the wrong way "What if you didn't have a brother?" This question was asked to make you think more independently, show them that you can stand on your own and succeed.

The same family that wants you to be independent were encouraging you to quit your job because they can take care of your needs? They are doing this because you allowed it, you should have insisted on working and given reasons to support your decision until the time was appropriate for you to leave the job. It's your life and your decisions to make, just be more assertive, less sensitive and you will succeed

Thanks again @pidggin

I quiet understand that my actions and inactions may be the reason I find myself here today but as it is now. I can't help but be a bit more sensitive as regards the issue at hand.

I also understand that my situation is not peculiar as there are lots who are even in a worse situation.


So maybe yes, I can learn to be more assertive. However, the issue of being too sensitivity can be attributed to nature and there are also good sides to it.

Coming out here is to avail myself the opportunity to seek wise counsel so as to achieve the much needed success I desire.

You could look out for a church or ministry that has a functional welfare unit for members and join. Free Skill acquisition programs r usually organized for unemployed church members. I know one such ministry but won't mention here cos this is not an advert.

Stay positive and ditch negative thoughts. Concentrate more on yourself and less on your uncooperative siblings.

1. Life/God/Nature doesn't give a Bleep about your circumstances.

2. Suicide is a solution to no problem.

3. Keep your head up. Step outside your confort zone. Your diction is good. That is in itself a skill.

4. Stay away from yourself. Try to relate to your sibling and parents. If they disappoint you, you'll always have friends here who will be willing to share the burden with you.

All the best.

celibate:
Thanks again @pidggin

I quiet understand that my actions and inactions may be the reason I find myself here today but as it is now. I can't help but be a bit more sensitive as regards the issue at hand.

I also understand that my situation is not peculiar as there are lots who are even in a worse situation.


So maybe yes, I can learn to be more assertive. However, the issue of being too sensitivity can be attributed to nature and there are also good sides to it.

Coming out here is to avail myself the opportunity to seek wise counsel so as to achieve the much needed success I desire.

A little self_evaluation test for you.
- Do you possess any skills/traits that peers/friends wish they had? What are you good at?
If you can figure that out, then do so quickly. Once you identify it, toughen up and go out there to learn new skills. May your road be rough. And your end be kind.

Aww,
First, you need to have a clue what career path you would like to take. What exactly are you good at? Degrees are great, but are worthless if you don't know what you want to do with it and how to apply your degree. What was your program in before you dropped out anyway? If you wish to go the entrepreneurial path begin to search entrepreneurial courses you can take. If you like computers, you need to know what certificate courses you need to take to boost your knowledge of your chosen career path. Equip yourself with knowledge and never ever restrict yourself.

Also, begin to build a network of people in that your chosen career path. Ask them questions, email people in your chosen career field asking for advice. The worst they can do is not to respond, right? Offer to intern paid or unpaid so that you can begin to build up your resume. I don't know how it is in Nigeria and if companies organize networking events that anyone can attend. But please hound these places and kill every sense of shyness. Networking is very very important. Tell your family to be on the look out for you, if they know any person involved in your career field...your family can't be that bad.

crackhous over to you.

Thank you very much SonOfLucifer. About the self evaluation test, i would say I've always been an artistically creative person. I also have the ability to learn fast so picking up a new skill shouldn't be a problem especially if it has to do with being creative.

This is why the suggestion about 3D animation sounds like a very good option. I'm also considering cinematography/video editing and special effects.

Perhaps that would enable me work with or set up a multimedia studio.

I also love music and at a point during my undergraduate days, I was able to make good sounds on FL Studio 8. Therefore I have no doubts that I'm talented in some ways.

I also have my weak points which contributed to me eventually dropping out from school.

I took a 6 unit French language course only to discover I wasn't good with languages. I failed the course twice. That alone had done an irreparable damage to my CGPA.

In answering your question @stillfire I was studying International relations.

In the mean time, i'm already midway through with my Bsc in Entrepreneurship.
In another Institution with support from my mom.

In between leaving school and now, I've also taken a course with Lagos business school and a free course online.

Do you know and understand your personality? It is affecting your attitude so that your attitude to life is not possitive and somehow things dont turn out possitive. When you understand your personality, you will know when where and how to develop a great attitude to life. You have great strengths but there lies your weaknesses. When your strength gives you those wonderful ideas, they can succeed as in or beyound your imaginations but when challenges on your way to that success comes, that your weakness beside the great strength squashes it, then back to square you go and your negative attitude grows bigger than the one that aided the last downfall. Work on your attitude, you cant go forward if your mind is going backward. More importantly draw closer to God, he holds the magic wand that brings this transformation with ease.

Thanks @GHojes.

I'd also like to mention that the business failure I suffered was because I was involved with a wrong partner who had ulterior motives. He wasn't all out for the business to succeed so it was easy for him to bail out when we had problems.

celibate:
Thanks @GHojes.

I'd also like to mention that the business failure I suffered was because I was involved with a wrong partner who had ulterior motives. He wasn't all out for the business to succeed so it was easy for him to bail out when we had problems.

learn to attack challenges headon without making excuses or creating alibis....

learn this and u l move past this stage.... take control of Ur life..... you are highly talented and also confused..... so I'll advise we meet sit and talk.... its well bro....

and pls let's not insult him! he came here for advice and counsel.....