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Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? - Romance - Nairaland

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Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by BreezyRita(f): 1:04am On Sep 28, 2015
I overheard a conversation between two beautiful ladies that reminded me of this issue. Apparently, one of them had been given a "classless" phone by a toaster. She got so angry she threw it at him. The friend said she would have collected it from him and immediately dashed someone else in his presence..........

And I remembered Queen, my sister's friend, who broke up with her boyfriend because he gave her flowers on her birthday. Well, on two occasions.

A lot of people mistake giving for love(babes abeg o). Well, it is. Just that not all gifts are given out of love. And most ladies believe if he gives me cheap stuff, he doesn't value me. For some ladies, a Tiffany gift box from him automatically lands him a VIP spot. And little or no regard is given to the guy who truly loves you because he's still hustling and can't afford to get you that expensive phone you wanted him to. And if he gets what he can, which isn't up to your TASTE, he's deemed selfish. Or he doesn't love you.

I learnt a long time ago never to look down on anyone's gift to me. Whether I like it or not, I take it with gratitude. I can still bless someone else with it.

I appreciate it more when I know that someone took the time to realize my need and worked toward helping out.
For example, I'm in dire need of a pair of socks but I've told no one about it.
And I'm gifted by two people. One gave me a pair of socks and the other, designer shoes. I like both gifts. But socks, although cheaper, is more important to me because I needed it.
What am I saying? A gift that signifies care, albeit cheap, is more important than extravagance.


The question still remains: "Should gifts be a measure of love?"



Cc farano
Lalasticala

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by chocolateme(f): 1:05am On Sep 28, 2015
No
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Babe2sure(f): 4:12am On Sep 28, 2015
We share the same view. I don't ever look a gift-horse in the mouth. Never!
I always collect with gratitude even if the gift is not up to my standard. At the back of my mind, I always feel, I don't want the person to feel bad.
Someone bought some clothes for me from abroad recently, even though I did not like one of the colours, and another was not my size(bigger). The person was even saying "will this one size you"
I just told the person "don't worry, I will adjust it".
You know what I did? I just sold them off, retaining only one. To me, its better than complaining about the colour or size. And make the person feel what he or she gave you is worthless.

Now as per boyfriend concern, if he gives you a gift that you felt was classless, you should still collect with gratitude, not rejecting it, outright. But you will jokingly make him know the type of gift you will appreciate, or want, indirectly and later (so that there will be no repeat of it cheesy) he will get the message.

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 4:26am On Sep 28, 2015
Gifts can be a measure of LOVE depending on the person that is giving out the gift. "for example i have a girlfriend whoose monthly income is 100thousand naira, now on my birthday i discovered dat she gave me a gift worth 200,000naira, now withing me i will know dat she spend above her means and her savings just to make me happy, dats what we call a lovely gift, she loves me dats why she sacrifice 4 me. "now on d other side u cannot judge if a gift given to u by a millionair, smtin he or she can afford without breaking a sweat, that is not a gift given out of love. "a gift given out of love is a gift where the giver gave all that he or she had just to make u happy. "so yes a gift can be a measure of love in some circustance and it cant be a measure of love in some circumstance. "LOVE IS ALL ABOUT SACRIFICE. "u cant claim to love me when u cant sacrifice 4 me.
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 7:18am On Sep 28, 2015
No, I don't think it should be a TRUE measure of love.
I know people would say love is all about sacrifice, but remember that sacrifice is subjective. Faithfulness is a sacrifice, time is a sacrifice, trust is a sacrifice...Love itself is a sacrifice...etc

When we come up with all these 'expectations' _ we sometimes make our partners uptight. Loving should be easy.
Not everyone knows the act of gifting, you can try to teach the person but don't force or push it.

Someone could buy you a gift not because he loves you, but because he can afford it. That isn't fulfilling to me...

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by jonaifame22(m): 7:50am On Sep 28, 2015
Yea giving gifts is a sign of love but it depends on ur capacity, if u can give a gift of 10k conveneintly but u chose to give a gift of 100 naira then I think the recipient doesn't matter much to u, but if u can give gift of 100 naira due to ur present situation and u give the gift of 100 naira then u really value the recipient buh circumctamces limited u jus like the story of the widows mite she had little and gave all of it, so I believe every form of giving is based on the heart of the giver
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 7:52am On Sep 28, 2015
It's nt.....I see gifts as something optional in relationships.
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 8:00am On Sep 28, 2015
Funny how most ladies are saying NO yet they are the beneficiaries of this.

In love, gift is not a necessary condition but a sufficient one. We all receive and give gifts at some point .

Even God gives us gifts.

Its debatable but yes it is a measure of love. Not everything is relative, its our perception of things that are

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by JoeCutie(m): 8:13am On Sep 28, 2015
Love? I'm not sure about that. In fact, no, it doesn't show love. But it definitely shows care. When someone buys you a gift, it's either they care about you, or they care for something in you (something you could offer).

People could actually use gift to get what they want.
But then, anybody that rejects gifts or gives it out just immediately in your very before, say, to show you how "classless" the gifts are, such person is in themselves, classless. Very classless.

When it comes to receiving gifts, do not interpret the stature; instead, interpret the significance.

And...DO NOT expect gifts when (and if) you don't give.

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 8:26am On Sep 28, 2015
I don't think it is. There are persons that will buy you a gift just to get something from you. Though if you love someone, you'd easily gift the person but it's not enough sign sign of love.

That your friend was rude sha. We all should learn to appreciate people when they give us gifts (no matter how small). It could be all he/she could offer. Even though he could have bought something better, still show appreciation.
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by BreezyRita(f): 12:00pm On Sep 29, 2015
Harbosede02:
It's nt.....I see gifts as something optional in relationships.
Babes, optional? Oh my! I don dey fear say na guy you be o.
I think giving is of huge importance in relationships. In any kind of relationship, it must be involved.

Its your opinion sha
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by BreezyRita(f): 12:24pm On Sep 29, 2015
sweetorgasms:
Gifts can be a measure of LOVE depending on the person that is giving out the gift. "for example i have a girlfriend whoose monthly income is 100thousand naira, now on my birthday i discovered dat she gave me a gift worth 200,000naira, now withing me i will know dat she spend above her means and her savings just to make me happy, dats what we call a lovely gift, she loves me dats why she sacrifice 4 me. "now on d other side u cannot judge if a gift given to u by a millionair, smtin he or she can afford without breaking a sweat, that is not a gift given out of love. "a gift given out of love is a gift where the giver gave all that he or she had just to make u happy. "so yes a gift can be a measure of love in some circustance and it cant be a measure of love in some circumstance. "LOVE IS ALL ABOUT SACRIFICE. "u cant claim to love me when u cant sacrifice 4 me.

OK. So if she'd given you something worth like 10k it'd mean she loved you less??
That's what we're talking about. It seems we place too much emphasis on material things........
From your example, for all you know, she may have given that much because she's aiming for something bigger. #UlteriorMotives wink

I agree with you though on the part about sacrifices. But like the poster below you rightly said, its subjective.
Some people simply DO NOT know how to give. That doesn't mean they can't love truly. They only need to be taught.
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 4:03pm On Sep 29, 2015
BreezyRita:

Babes, optional? Oh my! I don dey fear say na guy you be o.
I think giving is of huge importance in relationships. In any kind of relationship, it must be involved.

Its your opinion sha
exactly!! It's my opinion..... Am nt a fan of gifts tho.diff strokes for diff folks


Meanwhile..... Am a girl oo
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 4:06pm On Sep 29, 2015
Yes it is.

Even bible know it " For God so loved the world that He gave"


Love first, gift second
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Sep 29, 2015
Someone onces offered me his only charger (original for that matter grin) and the thoughtfulness was more appreciated Dan the offer of a new phone....

I appreciate little gifts more than bigger ones at times.

Also I remember when I WS back in school, my mums money was always more appreciated dan my dad's even if they both gave me same amount which was because I knew she had way less Dan him. So I appreciated hers more.
(Thankfully my dad won't ever see this grin)

Gifts generally are appreciated even if its very small.

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Etetejake(m): 6:05pm On Sep 29, 2015
Waoooooooo! my mantra: Don't measure luv by the value of gift received but by the sentiment which inspired the gift.
Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by BreezyRita(f): 10:39pm On Sep 29, 2015
Etetejake:
Waoooooooo! my mantra: Don't measure luv by the value of gift received but by the sentiment which inspired the gift.
You nailed it there smiley

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Re: Are Gifts A True Measure Of Love? by Etetejake(m): 1:24pm On Oct 01, 2015
BreezyRita:
You nailed it there smiley
Thanks baby

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