LOL!!, . . . .love ur thread darl, . . .brings be back to the jokes section all the time, . . .

sexyLeamon:

[b]The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they not the "in" name this year.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please , Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'[/b]

ROFLMAO

nice one,dart wife go be who i sabi wella

lola I thot you was a girl

rokiatu:
ROFLMAO

damn my sis is everywhere!

sexyLeamon:

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they not the "in" name this year.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please , Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

ok that IS a good one.

LONG! but good.

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. Believe it or not I've got some folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first
room. In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water being chased
by a shark. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer & I don't
think I could do that all day long".
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day," said George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms tied behind his head, and his legs in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, giving him a b**w job.
Bush looked in disbelief and finally said, "This is the rooom for me!"
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Lord Babs: One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. Believe it or not I've got some folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first
room. In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water being chased
by a shark. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer & I don't
think I could do that all day long".
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day," said George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms tied behind his head, and his legs in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, giving him a b**w job.
Bush looked in disbelief and finally said, "This is the rooom for me!"
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Pls guys hw can I post mine ?

coming back to this threa to laugh my butt off

sexyLeamon: Judge:

You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didnt you take the food instead of the cash out of the till? Burglar: Your Honour! I'm a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat.

sexyLeamon: A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with shit up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shit up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"

LMFAOOOOOO

A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man , and tells the driver, Do you want to Earn N50,000 right away?. The driver excitedly says what do I have to do? Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of her. After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair , while kicking and beating her and puts her in the Taxi. and the husband says to him, " This is not my wife" the driver replied " Nooooo , this is mine, hold her for me. I'm going for yours"

sima:
hehe. . . . i have my own joke 

Once upon a time, a dog and a mouse enters a closet and meets the goat. They all cried and lived happily ever after. _{tnks for the support guys, i very much appreciate ehm}

. Clown

The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?