raumdeuter:
I think coogar is right. Most men if they hear their wife is cheating wont flip or even ignore and pretend to be unaware

Its when aa child comes into it that it becomes a big issue

E.g The Late MKO, Do you think he doesnt know his wifes are sleeping around? But when it came to sharing inheritance he demanded a mandatory DNA from everyone

Also the OP, knew his wife was sleeping around but he didnt throw a huge fit until belle issue entered

Kimoni:

One of the easiest things in this world is the undoing...it's now simpler than ABC. But then, if it's a problem, after the undoing, she can always prove the humus soil is still fertile and very able to sprout beautiful seeds.

Technology can help with that. Still no reason to divorce her

Kimoni:

Haaa Dayo, you fall my hand . And I was nearly going to call you to come and confirm what Coogar was saying
MKO didn't mind those children living under his roof o
He trained them and never bothered that he was fending for them
His only issue was that they wouldn't partake of his inheritance. That's fair enough IMO

Kimoni:


Haaa Dayo, you fall my hand . And I was nearly going to call you to come and confirm what Coogar was saying

MKO didn't mind those children living under his roof o

He trained them and never bothered that he was fending for them

His only issue was that they wouldn't partake of his inheritance. That's fair enough IMO

raumdeuter:


Fending expenses for a man like MKO is nothing. MKO's house would probably be like a hostel. Maybe he doesnt even know the number of kids they claim he has.

I heard the story of one Alhaji that he would be like "Hmm who is this fine girl that just passed. I no go mind reach there oo" Until his PA would now tell him thats the daughter of your second wife.

MKO probably doesnt know the number of people who eat in his house daily. I am sure random strangers ate and lived under his roof and he didnt care since he had multiple houses and rarely stayed in one place for more than 30days at a stretch. But the OP isnt as rich and would care about another mouth stretching his finances

A lot of men would prefer people not to know their wife is cheating and simply play deaf and dumb until another major issue comes

All the married women sleeping around, that everyone on the street knows, Do you think their husband dont know as well?

coogar:


how would she achieve that?
bush fallowing or crop rotation?

i had the opportunity to stay near MKO's house back then. none of those love-kids stayed with him. once the women hinted they were pregnant with his baby, he just gives them huge money for the upkeep and that was it. huge money to the women, crumbs to MKO. he had a plan & he had the last laugh. 25 of the kids failed the DNA test & they got nothing from his vast estate!

raumdeuter:


Fending expenses for a man like MKO is nothing. MKO's house would probably be like a hostel. Maybe he doesnt even know the number of kids they claim he has.

I heard the story of one Alhaji that he would be like "Hmm who is this fine girl that just passed. I no go mind reach there oo" Until his PA would now tell him thats the daughter of your second wife.

MKO probably doesnt know the number of people who eat in his house daily. I am sure random strangers ate and lived under his roof and he didnt care since he had multiple houses and rarely stayed in one place for more than 30days at a stretch. But the OP isnt as rich and would care about another mouth stretching his finances

A lot of men would prefer people not to know their wife is cheating and simply play deaf and dumb until another major issue comes

All the married women sleeping around, that everyone on the street knows, Do you think their husband dont know as well?

Or all the Kema Chikwe, Ita Giwa, Patricia Etteh, Diezani etc that we heard politicians are chopping from Atiku to OBJ to Jonathan Do you think their husband are blind and deaf?

Kimoni:
Hahahahha funny story but in the same way, the OP is also comfortable enough to cater for another child. He should go ahead to do so

In his will, he can also request for a DNA test as a condition for inheriting...no wahala

But divorcing her is a NO NO

raumdeuter:


How do you know the OP is comfortable enough to cater for a child not his. Also Where is the biological father in all of these? Those are legit concerns

OP: In a while , God opened was and things got better, I was able to cater and provide for my family financial needs.

Cos someone that you have a child for is beyond just a casual encounter. EVen most women would forgive infidelity but when a child outside is part of the baggage it changes the dynamics. Some ppl have even gone to the extent of trying to kill the other woman or the child

If its just cheating and nothing attached thats easy to forgive and forget. How many women don chop clean mouth by the they go and return from the office today alone? A child in the mix changes everything because its a lifetime bond. You can probably have genuinely forgotten someone you slept with casually 10yrs ago but if a child is involved you cant forget for life

Kimoni:
Agree but the girl is ready to remove the pregnancy...

Lol...cheating (chop and clean mouth style) is not easy for women like that ooo, we are emotional beings. Love and sex go hand in hand for us...but topic for another day sha

raumdeuter:


That one na story and blackmail

If you go to Lagos tonight you would see thousands of girls going to bed with men not their boyfriends. Is there a love and sex disconnect here?

many girls even string multiple boyfriends along till weeks to wedding when they drop one. So where does this emotional being go?

Sex is usually exchanged with comfort. love is just another way to make it sound better. If you know how many girls are ready to develop undying love for Dbanj right now and drop their long term boyfriend or the village girl who immediately falls for the rich dude from lagos within 5mins of meeting him. Tell me how many girls got pregnant for an abroadian guy while still dating their Nigerian (backup) boyfriend

Dabota Lawson too is really emotional being
There is no difference between male and female everyone is looking for their own interest

Kimoni:

she will add manure

But he wasn't living with all his women naa, even some of those who had his baby for real didnt live with him
If he could count the nos of his children, he would not have asked them all to do a DNA test first before sharing the inheritance
But it remains a fact that he never minded taking care of all those kids while he was alive

coogar:


hehe!
manure indeed!

he pays the baby-momma in one lump sum once they tell him the baby is his & that was it. the lump sum was crumbs to him so it didn't really matter.

the OP is not as rich & this pregnancy has made his heart bleed. the infidelity isn't the issue, the deception before the confession is the main issue.

Kimoni:

To err is human, to forgive is divine

He should forgive and forget. According to the OP, she has used everything within her to promise there wont be a reoccurrence. It's the fault of the fake wrapper that sperm donor used. She will be more careful next time.

Meanwhile, did the OP ever confess his own sins to her?

RoyalRoy:


Why do i find this a bit Hilarious?


I guess it's a case of birds of same feathers!!!


Forgive and forget
(if its easy for you)

Aitee1:


Did you read the part the op said him too isn't holy meaning he has been cheating also, probably the girls the op cheats with is also pregnant, he noticed the wife has been cheating during previous visits but it didn't disturb him cos pregnancy wasn't involved now he's only mad cos pregnancy is involved, then it's more or less an open marriage.

Note I'm not supporting the cheating wife but op is guilty too cos he was condoning the act since till pregnancy set it, it's a sunny afternoon here

freshcvvs:


And does this stop her from using her common sense? You dey cheat, yet can't protect yourself.

The man wey dey cheat no carry pregnant woman come house na so?

Aitee1:


How are you sure there's no babymama somewhere waiting for the right time to surface

Stop defending the op till you hear from the so called wife.

quit the sexist sentiment already both op and the wife are bird of a feather case closed, it's only the innocent kids in their care I pity!!!

freshcvvs:


Work with what the OP released and don't assume or bring in things not stated. Why bang raw except you actually wanted to get pregnant?

Wetin concern my comment with sexist sentiment blabbing?

Where is the defense here? They both cheated or cheating but one lacked common sense, so where is the defense here or is exposing stupidity now a crime?

Aitee1:


From your comment it obvious you're the type that judge one sided, so no need proving a point you're paying a deaf ear to, do have a trouble free day!

akinsneh101:
I and my wife are in love before we had our Son and the love got more stronger after we gave birth to our Son, after giving birth to our Son, life got a little bit hard for us which made me decided to travel abroad to Make ends meet and make sure I and my family live a good life.

As a first travelling experience, things did not quickly went fine which is normal. Within this period , my was not always in good terms with me but i was calm with her because i [b][/b]understand how it would be for a woman not having her hubby around her and even Financial need was not constant.

In a while , God opened was and things got better, I was able to cater and provide for my family financial needs.

But the sad part of it is that each time i visit



home to check on my family , I usually detect infidelity in my wife, I used to find a place in my heart to forgive her because i know she is also human because its not easy been alone , because i am not holy too lol.

But the worst case now is that my last visit was a bit long and she got pregnant, but after the test and scan the result showed the pregnancy is 7 weeks and few days but my stay is still counting 5 weeks plus, after scolding her she confessed she had intercourse few days before my return which means the pregnancy is not for me.

Now she is begging me that she will abort the pregnancy but i should keep it secret between us and forgive her and she will never do such again, swearing with everything useful in her life.

This is a painful thing, Its very sad and traumatic because i have been having intercourse with her all this while which means i have been climbing another person pregnancy which is a taboo in Africa for such man.

PLEASE I NEED YOU ALL TO ADVISE ME WHAT TO DO.. I AM LOST I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO .. MY HEART IS BLEEDING !!!

plaetton:


This is silly.
Funny how Nigerians always seem try to rationalize the most absurd and irrational.

That union is over. Period.
Anyone that advises otherwise is being Very very insincere.

freshcvvs:


Work with what the OP released and don't assume or bring in things not stated. Why bang raw except you actually wanted to get pregnant?

Wetin concern my comment with sexist sentiment blabbing?

Where is the defense here? They both cheated or cheating but one lacked common sense, so where is the defense here or is exposing stupidity now a crime?

coogar:

what she did was unforgivable!
there shouldn't be a next time....
he doesn't need to.....
he is yet to impregnate any of his mistresses. when the woman was just shaggïng herself to stupor, there was no confession at all. the OP just sensed foul play here & there and played possum!

LordReed:


I am pretty sure if it was the OP who had the illegitimate child you both would join your voices to those urging the wife to accept the child but here the shoe is on the other foot what do we get hmm?

LordReed:


I am pretty sure if it was the OP who had the illegitimate child you both would join your voices to those urging the wife to accept the child but here the shoe is on the other foot what do we get hmm?

coogar:

if a man has an illegitimate child, he's not going to bring it home and claim it's his wife's baby. if you cannot see the difference between a man with a love child outside & a woman that brought a bastärd home with the intention of making her husband believe the baby was his then i cannot help you.

coogar:


if a man has an illegitimate child, he's not going to bring it home and claim it's his wife's baby. if you cannot see the difference between a man with a love child outside & a woman that brought a bastärd home with the intention of making her husband believe the baby was his then i cannot help you.

LordReed:


Ok so if the woman had admitted it was not her husband's then it would have been ok?

coogar:


of course......
it's the deception men cannot stand. raising a kid i was made to believe it's mine when it isn't is the crushing blow. most sane men can withstand the infidelity.......paternity fraud is what men cannot cope with.

there's a big difference!