yougosee:

Forgiveness.

Good as long as it feels good to you.

Reprehensible?
Do you even know the meaning of the words you're using sef?

Anyway nothing much to add beyond what other posters have said. If you really believe the woman alone has all those duties you mentioned in your post, then you might as well believe the man had no role at all in the marriage.

Because according to your post, the man and wife aren't even partners in the marriage. He's just a bedside decoration.

Highcuerayte:
Thank you for the reprehensible remarks. It is not for fun I wrote "A woman that cannot keep a home as failed in everything" To you it might seems unrealistic but that is the truth.

A woman's duty is to protect her home,Eve was made to be a helper to Adam but which kind of helper,and which way is she to help? On their home; the garden of Eden. Remember Adam was to keep and dress his home but he cannot do it he needs someone to keep it for him and that's why we have Eve.Eve is to keep the home but when she failed what happened to their garden home?

My audience basically are women.I wrote this for women who are loosing their marriage.

Funny thread

But this is What our society preach na...

Why the outcry?

OP carry go.

bukatyne:
Funny thread

But this is What our society preach na...

Why the outcry?

OP carry go.

It is obvious, you and the OP belong to the same 'society'. Both of you should just stay in your 'society'.

The rest of us on this thread and most Nigerians belong to another society so no need to discuss a useless topic further!

Highcuerayte:
I quite agree with you. But in the extreme when the husband care less whatever happens to the marriage then it rest on her if she have interest of saving her marriage.Or don't you agree?

Has it ever occurred to you Sir, that there are equally women who could care less about what happens in their marriages for whatever reasons logical or illogical? It may then rest on the husband to make things work. However, you may force a horse to the stream but you can't make it drink water.
Keeping a marriage is a collective effort, where both parties must be actively involved else its just gonna be a painful experience. The message should show the importance of working hard at one's marriage by both husband and wife, and not saying its just one of the partner's responsibility.
Believe it or not, times are changing. Saying otherwise will just be like a case of an ostrich burying its head in the ground thinking that the danger is averted. Women do not feel the need to stay in unhappy marriages anymore because they are more financially empowered.

Now putting religion into it, how many people actually obey the Holy books in terms of not stealing, cheating, fornication, lying, loving ones neighbor less than oneself,etc. So don't think the preaching on marriage will still change what anyone wants to do in their own marriage.

Way forward? practical and feasible tips marriages can be helped in tune with the present times should be proffered

I have a problem with the whole article especially the opening sentence and the ending sentence.

shaking my head.

saving a drowning marriage should be the collective effort of the couple not just the woman alone.

na real wa.

TooNoisy:


It is obvious, you and the OP belong to the same 'society'. Both of you should just stay in your 'society'.

The rest of us on this thread and most Nigerians belong to another society so no need to discuss a useless topic further!

I guess you missed the sarcasm in her post.

The wives revolt by JP Clark.

Teespice:


I guess you missed the sarcasm in her post.

My dear,

Sometimes, silence is the best answer

GodnGold:
The wives revolt by JP Clark.

Very nice book

Read it in Jnr School.

Kimoni:


Sorry highcuerayte - as much as I appreciate and commend the intention behind your post, you have made a lot of fallacious, biased and unrealistic assumptions to look like facts.

I didn't want to quote you before but I will and bold some of these untrue statements.

The biggest nonsense you wrote is your closing line saying a woman who cannot keep her home has failed in everything. I have never seen so much rubbish in one post.

Pray tell, what's the man's responsibility in all what you have written? Is he just a figure head? He takes all the glory for the success but takes no blame if it fails? Is that biblical?

Can two work together except they are in agreement? So how can you blame one party only if two people cannot agree on something?

Can the blind lead the blind? In a situation where the "head" is not leading the family alright, how then do you still blame the woman if the marriage fails?

My point is - the man is as responsible for the success or failure of the marriage as much as the woman is. I may even go further to say he is more resonsible in keeping the family intact cuz he is the natural head of the family unit.

seconded

When in comes to building up marriage the woman has the greatest responsibility but when it comes to running of the family, the man is the head and has the greatest responsibility to make decisions. If a marriage will work it will work, if it's destined to fail it will surely fail

bukatyne:
Funny thread

But this is What our society preach na...

Why the outcry?

OP carry go.

I am not surprised at OP's thinking. Honestly this is the result of the society he grew up in. If that's what he has been taught and saw it play out in marriages he has witnessed and was in the audience where someone preached this kind of message, he won't know any better.It is particularly troubling that the OP has an audience who he feeds these kind of information.We might not agree with him but this article of his and his other replies should ideally worry anybody born and bred in the same society. We as a society should be worried that some people actually think like him. We should be trying to do something about it.

babygirlfl:


I am not surprised at OP's thinking. Honestly this is the result of the society he grew up in. If that's what he has been taught and saw it play out in marriages he has witnessed and was in the audience where someone preached this kind of message, he won't know any better.It is particularly troubling that the OP has an audience who he feeds these kind of information.We might not agree with him but this article of his and his other replies should ideally worry anybody born and bred in the same society. We as a society should be worried that some people actually think like him. We should be trying to do something about it.

The truth is people are opposing him because he opened a thread for it in 'peace times'

Let a woman open a thread that her husband constantly cheats on her... most of the advices would be 'pray more', 'get closer to him', 'cook fresh fish', 'save your home' etc.

How is it any different from what the OP is saying?

Isn't 'a wise woman builds her home' a popular verse of the Bible?

So what really is the OP saying that is different from what is obtainable?

Rukkydelta:
When in comes to building up marriage the woman has the greatest responsibility but when it comes to running of the family, the man is the head and has the greatest responsibility to make decisions. If a marriage will work it will work, if it's destined to fail it will surely fail

What is the difference between building up marriage and running of the family?

Kimoni:


If Eve is indeed the only one to blame for the fall at Eden, what did God mete out punishment to Adam?

Unfortunately, your audience is not restricted to women alone. Men and women, young and old are reading this post of yours and may get the wrong notion that the success of their home, current or future, rest solely on one person. I say emphatically, this is a LIE.

well said....two cannot work together except they agree.

bukatyne:


The truth is people are opposing him because he opened a thread for it in 'peace times'

Let a woman open a thread that her husband constantly cheats on her... most of the advices would be 'pray more', 'get closer to him', 'cook fresh fish', 'save your home' etc.

How is it any different from what the OP is saying?

Isn't 'a wise woman builds her home' a popular verse of the Bible?

So what really is the OP saying that is different from what is obtainable?

Why don't you open your own thread for "war times". What exactly are you on about?

Everybody here has condemned the OP and it is obvious his perspective is different from most people on Nairaland at least. What else do you want?

A wise woman builds her own home is in the Bible - you can erase it from your Bible if you don't like it.

If anyone advised you to stay with your cheating husband and pray for him more, then that is your problem. Don't make it everyone's problem on Nairaland okay?

Drop your advise/comments for the OP and move on. Stop creating imaginary scenarios and simulating how people will respond!

Op,I want to thank you for this post.
It made some women make a U turn,it made some accelerate more even when the traffic light goes red.
Howbeit,I learnt a couple o'things from it good or bad,
not forgetting your mb,time,etc.
Amazing thread.

Women don suffer sha. When will men start take responsibilies of their actions?

They cheat, na woman cause am
Their marriage fail, na woman cause am
They become drunk and wayward, na woman cause am.

Highcuerayte:
[s]The greatest height of fulfilment a woman can have in life is deeply rooted in creating and maintaining a peaceful home radiating an ever increasing love,joy and mutual understanding. It's not in fashion, it's not in feminism, not in quest for egalitarianism but in successfully being a wife and a mother simultaneously.

Keeping your home can come quite handy and sometimes proves difficult. No one can deny the increase in population of husband snatchers within and without. Many homes are currently sitting on a time bomb, many are going down the pit of destruction and many today have given up their marriage and patiently, they are waiting for the divorce notice.

But do you know you can still balance your unstable marriage? Do you actually realize that the future of your marriage simply lies on your shoulder? Do you know that an action from you can possibly change things for good? And more action for better? And a little more action for best? Even if it appears you are loosing it or probably have lost it, do you know that you can still save your marriage and once again be a wife and a mother you once were?


Here are tips to save your drowning marriage

1. Face Reality And Identify The Problem : Living in the fantasy can be devastating and catastrophic in every little chance given.Most of the times I have watch my mother smile and laugh heartily to visitors whenever they came visiting. I watch her say all is well when nothing is well anywhere. You cannot save what you deem standing, you can only save what is drowning, what you feel and see is perishing. There are things that makes a marriage a marriage: conjugal rights, undivided trust and attention,love and duties among many other vital and important things. Once you see any of this declining it is your duty as a wife to acknowledge these problems. A sailor when faced with raging storm don't pretend all is well he acknowledges the enemy.

2. Take Your Stand: When the storm approaches the captain don't stay in the deck and begins to slumber of folds his hands.He takes charge as one in charge.He tells the storm I understand you are in charge of the wind and sea but I am in charge of this ship. You must realize in case you have not that you are the one God puts in charge of your home.You are the key to the success of your marriage. Your husband is not the key,you are.To save your marriage you must act on this simply truth, the destiny of your marriage lies in your hands and your hands alone.


3. Makes Plan To Save Your Home : Like the sailor, the storm is an intruder, an enemy capable of turning his ship over into the sea, making his passengers food for whales.The sailor does not only affirm his position he goes ahead to make plans on how to counter the raging storm. Affirming your position gives you an edge making plan to save your home and marriage gives you more than a edge. Whatever the storm is make plan to counter it.

4. Never Give Up On Your Marriage: When you give up on something there is little or nothing you can do for that thing. As a wife and a mother giving up on your marriage and home is something bad.When you do so you give up on your children and the love of your life.Friends may tell you it can't work but always tell yourself it will work.A sailor endure the storm till he has a good landing. Have hope in your marriage and keep finding solutions to the problems you are facing.

5. Pray For Your Home: The last thing Satan will want is a Happy home.And the key to a Happy home is you.Always do your best in praying for your home.Prayers goes a long way than you can ever imagine.

In life they say there is always an option B but for a woman there is only one option and that is success.And success is the ability to be a wife and a mother simultaneously. Remember any woman that cannot keep a home as failed in everything.


Your home is yours to keep and save.

Written by Highcuerayte
[/s]
Cc: Seun
Lalasticlala

You should go back to school so you become useful to your society.

Wtf is this crap

Highcuerayte:
Thank you for the reprehensible remarks. It is not for fun I wrote "A woman that cannot keep a home as failed in everything" To you it might seems unrealistic but that is the truth.

A woman's duty is to protect her home,Eve was made to be a helper to Adam but which kind of helper,and which way is she to help? On their home; the garden of Eden. Remember Adam was to keep and dress his home but he cannot do it he needs someone to keep it for him and that's why we have Eve.Eve is to keep the home but when she failed what happened to their garden home?

My audience basically are women.I wrote this for women who are loosing their marriage.

It is an unrealistic expectation and I pray people stop perpetuating it. Both the man and woman are responsible for keeping the home, if there is a failure in the home then the appropriate steps should be taken by whosoever is involved not unjustly expecting one party to carry the entire burden. If the source of the problem has been identified and is being worked on then it behoves them to have patience and work things out but saying if a home fails then the woman has failed is Cow dung of the highest order.

LordReed:


It is an unrealistic expectation and I pray people stop perpetuating it. Both the man and woman are responsible for keeping the home, if there is a failure in the home then the appropriate steps should be taken by whosoever is involved not unjustly expecting one party to carry the entire burden. If the source of the problem has been identified and is being worked on then it behoves them to have patience and work things out but saying if a home fails then the woman has failed is Cow dung of the highest order.

The boss has spoken. Nothing more to add. Oga Lordreed, good morning Sir.

babygirlfl:


The boss has spoken. Nothing more to add. Oga Lordreed, good morning Sir.

Good morning afternoon babygirlfl.

What if the marriage don drown tey tey come begin dey "float" with "open belle" like my own?

KanwuliaJara:
What if the marriage don drown tey tey come begin dey "float" like my own?

This is by far the most crappiest, poorly thought out and no common sense thread I have come across this year.

On top of all that rubbish, the OP had the nerve to copy Lalastica & Seun like he or she had actually written something worthwhile & meaningful.

Common sense is truly not common, every amatuer Tom, Dick & Harry considers himself an expert on relationships these days sprouting idiotic nonsense as advice.

One of the best articles I've read in a really long while.
Kudos@ o.p

KanwuliaJara:
What if the marriage don drown tey tey come begin dey "float" with "open belle" like my own?

You this wacky woman. Good morning.

I really do not see any difference in the OP's post and most advices given to women whose marriage is in distress.

yetseyi:
I really do not see any difference in the OP's post and most advices given to women who mariage is in distress.

May your days be long...

Nse

EfemenaXY:




You this wacky woman. Good morning.

Fine fine morninnnoooooh!
OP dey took "drowning"?
Wey MOST NIGERIAN MARRIAGES don destroy life support machine kpa kpa! CPR DON "FAAAAAAY" tey tey!!!!

Muchechecheche

In short, 99 . TEN-TEN don JO-KO-SI for grave without OBITUARY sef!

bukatyne:


The truth is people are opposing him because he opened a thread for it in 'peace times'

Let a woman open a thread that her husband constantly cheats on her... most of the advices would be 'pray more', 'get closer to him', 'cook fresh fish', 'save your home' etc.

How is it any different from what the OP is saying?

Isn't 'a wise woman builds her home' a popular verse of the Bible?

So what really is the OP saying that is different from what is obtainable?

Hahahahahahaha!