nues aweso:

Thanx all for concern.

Just been bogging my head with different scenarios and thats why its getting at me.

What s the condition of her womb? Only God knows. . .Possible future scandal from the ex. . .Will she go into complex and think i've done her a favour? . . . .Blood of the unborn child . . .Why do i deserve this knowing that I have been very clean on my own part? . . . Too many issues

Its just messy. . . think I'll take a walk

God is just sir.  He will not require this blood from you. if she has changed and is good person i will say forget and ask for grace and do the right thing with her.  the blood is on the account of the wicked everything goes society that our people have become.

when we were godless idol worshippers we were not this morally bankrupt now we have all form s of church and sects of islam yet are like this.  God help us.

ThiefOfHearts:

she's pretty dumb telling YOU something like that.

she did right.  it is the society that allows the level of promiscuity i blame.  you know it saddens me when i here our people say a girl is spoil in the west because she wears trousers whereas the non trouser wearing angella pretenders they have in nigeria are like i always says glorified hookers in all but name.

the girl is right to do the needfull.  she is just unfortunate to be product of nigerias immorality

nues aweso:

Said she felt guilty cos I told her to fast and pray to God to reveal anything bad in my past I am hiding after I told her all, cos she didnt believe me to be a pure guy at first.

I blamed her too.

dont blame her my dear.  you asked for info you couldnt use. i dont no any pure man. not even pope  could say he is pure. we are all wretched siinners.  sinner emeritus as a freind would say we all are including your lovely "pure" self.

forgive and let God do the rest.  good to se a man fast and pray about relationship.  you have done well  you may now have to go for counselling because this is past your pay grade boy.  how old are you by the way?

@ Akinagirl, Exactly.

Funny how people point fingers and see the speck of dust in fellow beings eye and they cannot see the

log of wood in theirs. Whatever happened to the word for FORGIVE. Hope you know you are not better

that her? We all are sinners simple, and we need his GRACE to see us through. Capish,

nues aweso:

I was using her word. . . she said no guy can be that pure. I have a past and told her all i've done.

Wish u were in my shoes, we had started talking about marriage, how many kids, and all the blah blah. . . I need to go for a long evening walk.

[size=18pt]COUNSELLING SIR[/size].  WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY.

chikito1:

@ Akinagirl, Exactly.

Funny how people point fingers and see the speck of dust in fellow beings eye and they cannot see the

log of wood in theirs. Whatever happened to the word for FORGIVE. Hope you know you are not better

that her? We all are sinners simple, and we need his GRACE to see us through. Capish,

[size=18pt]SINNER EMERITTUS WE ALL ARE[/size]

JJYOU:

[size=18pt]COUNSELLING SIR[/size]. WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY.[size=18pt]SINNER EMERITTUS WE ALL ARE[/size]

hear hear

@ poster

i believe if u sincerely love her as u have claimed u will not find it difficult to forgive her

bet u, if u truly love her u wont come here seeking peoples advice

just follow your heart pls.

emilyone:

@ poster

i believe if u sincerely love her as u have claimed u will not find it difficult to forgive her

bet u, if u truly love her u wont come here seeking peoples advice

just follow your heart pls.  

dont follow no heart bros. this is time to follow the WORD.

you lead her all the way. you confessed she confessed. you probably confesed to the koka kuola you stole and the mummys money you took too lets not do the lies today then she did open up. she is was vulnerable too and tot table was being cleared but now you are dragging more mess unto the table.

this is beyond your grade as i said. i dont know how old you are but seriously consider counselling.

we all have a past as christians the cross and the blood covers that so just cover it too. love covers multitude of sins sir. if God marks iniquity we all would be down under today.

past is past.

mount zion films have a film on this tyhe boy said he was a cultist in uniben the girl said she was campus prostitute. they went through a lot that strenghtened their faith but God is an ever faithful God.

question is why should be asking HIm for forgiveness? She (stupidly) told him something about her past, what's the asking for forgiveness for?

Is he God?

Forgiveness is between her, her God and maybe the person who caused the situation. Wetin concern new dude with forgiveness, it's all whether or not he's willing to accept what happen. Dont see why she needs his forgiveness or why he should feel he should forgive her. for what? did she commit it against YOU?

ThiefOfHearts:

question is why should be asking HIm for forgiveness? She (stupidly) told him something about her past, what's the asking for forgiveness for?

Is he God?

Forgiveness is between her, her God and maybe the person who caused the situation. Wetin concern new dude with forgiveness, it's all whether or not he's willing to accept what happen. Dont see why she needs his forgiveness or why he should feel he should forgive her. for what? did she commit it against YOU?

Because they planned to get married. I fear for your husbands oh

what does that have to do with anything?

they are whining about forgiveness, what they should be doing is getting her checked out to make sure her uterus is fine and she wont have reproductive issues in the future that's if he accepts her after this

ThiefOfHearts:

question is why should be asking HIm for forgiveness? She (stupidly) told him something about her past, what's the asking for forgiveness for?

Is he God?

Forgiveness is between her, her God and maybe the person who caused the situation. Wetin concern new dude with forgiveness, it's all whether or not he's willing to accept what happen. Dont see why she needs his forgiveness or why he should feel he should forgive her. for what? did she commit it against YOU?

the woman was naive, unfortunately.

ThiefOfHearts:

what does that have to do with anything?

they are whining about forgiveness, what they should be doing is getting her checked out to make sure her uterus is fine and she wont have reproductive issues in the future that's if he accepts her after this

I believe some things you need to be honest with. If they are in the doctors office checking out her uterus, and the doctor casually says that she had a previous abortion witout her husband knowing, how can the husband feel? Some things need to be told.

nues aweso:

What s the condition of her womb? Only God knows. . .Possible future scandal from the ex. . .Will she go into complex and think i've done her a favour? . . . .Blood of the unborn child . . .Why do i deserve this knowing that I have been very clean on my own part? . . . Too many issues

you are just amazing?! is there men like you in 9ja?! blood of the unborn child?! condition of the womb. you FAILED MISERABLY!!!! you never loved that woman, move on.

this is the macho/ego bullshit that get men like you breaking up good relationships  and landing with women that you dont love "but are pure" in your eyes.
you are the kind of man that leaves a great woman that is honest with you and end up with a former ashawo who probably went to do her trade in far away land and never told you.

platinumnk:

I believe some things you need to be honest with. If they are in the doctors office checking out her uterus, and the doctor casually says that she had a previous abortion witout her husband knowing, how can the husband feel? Some things need to be told.

This is something she should know for herself before getting into another relationship. If she had a problem with her uterus, then i'd say she had better let the next person know.

MRbrownJAY:

you never loved that woman, move on.

this is the macho/ego bullshit that get men like you breaking up good relationships  and landing with women that you dont love "but are pure" in your eyes.
you are the kind of man that leaves a great woman that is honest with you and end up with a former ashawo who probably went to do her trade in far away land and never told you.

true dat.

Some thoughts to ponder: 1. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. 2. Ye that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. 3. Judge not lest ye be judged. 4. God will cast our sins into the sea of forgetfulness. If God has forgiven this woman the sins of her past, why can this man accept this woman, There is now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit. If this lady has renounced this act how can this man be a partaker? This act is past, not present. If you love her accept her. Make sure you dont become a hypocrite. Just b/c this was not your sin, you are guilty of something. Let no man think more highly of himself than he ought.

does any ane know the mt. zion film title?

we all have a past.

JJYOU:

dont follow no heart bros. this is time to follow the WORD.

you lead her all the way. you confessed she confessed. you probably confesed to the koka kuola you stole and the mummys money you took too lets not do the lies today then she did open up. she is was vulnerable too and tot table was being cleared but now you are dragging more mess unto the table.

this is beyond your grade as i said. i dont know how old you are but seriously consider counselling.

we all have a past as christians the cross and the blood covers that so just cover it too. love covers multitude of sins sir. if God marks iniquity we all would be down under today.

past is past.

[b]mount zion films have a film on this tyhe boy said he was a cultist in uniben the girl said she was campus prostitute. they went through a lot that strenghtened their faith but God is an ever faithful God[/b].

ThiefOfHearts:

true dat.

toh, i was just praying temporary blindness for you, tpia and telefone without wire on this. i know she is definately coming herebefore i come from church now 2 of u have shown your face. pls mercy my dear sisters. mercy i beg.

@ Op, if i was you, i would use the fact she can tell me some thing as big as this to praise her and boost her very low confidence. here is help if you dont mind.

Praise Her (At Least) Once a Day


Promise yourself to tell your wife daily what you appreciate about her. Promise yourself—not her—because she might develop expectations and be hurt if you forget. Begin by learning to verbalize your thoughts of appreciation.

Here are some typical statements wives have told me they enjoy hearing:

"What a meal! The way you topped that casserole with sour cream and cheese … M-m-m-m … that was delicious."
(This next one is great with an early-morning kiss.) "Honey, I sure love you. You're special to me."
While in the company of friends say, "This is my wife. She's the greatest!"
Put little notes on the refrigerator like, "I loved the way you looked last night."
"You're such a dedicated wife to make my lunch every day."
"Our kids are really blessed to have a mother like you. You take such good care of them."
"I don't know if I prefer the dress or what's in it better."
"Do I like your hairstyle? I'd like any hairstyle you have just because it's on you."
"I'd love to take you out tonight just to show you off."
"Honey, you've worked so hard. Why don't you sit down and rest for a while before dinner? I can wait."
"You're so special to me that I'd like to do something special for you right now. Why don't you take a bubble bath and relax. I'll do up the dishes and get the kids started on their homework."
In her book Forever My Love, Margaret Hardisty emphasized that women tend to approach life on an emotional plane while men approach it on a more logical, sometimes coldly objective one. Therefore, when you praise your wife, it's important to use words and actions that communicate praise from her point of view. Anything that is romantic or deals with building deeper relationships usually pleases wives.

© Copyright 2002 Smalley Relationship Center

nues aweso:

I dont even know what to type here.
My Gf just told me she once had an abortion for her ex, and my world collapsed. Funny enough, I didnt ask her. . .I could only ask her "Why did you tell me?". Guess she saw me as sincere and clean and think i dont deserve such secret. . .I cant hold it. . . Seem the altar bound relationship is heading for the rocks.

U should be glad she confessed to you. . . . . . .
Take it on the chin and move on.

Why do some guys just mess up girls' life?!!  Cant believe it, I feel so heavy cos I truly love her and she s a lovely girl.

Errrrrrrrrrr, your girlfriend was not raped, was she??
2 consenting adults had sex and she got pregnant. . . . . .How is this the guy's fault??

Think I need some advice here. . . Please help before I run mad!

If you are sincere and clean like you claim, this shouldn't be too hard to take.
Just take it on the chin.

JJYOU:


we all have a past. toh, i was just praying temporary blindness for you, tpia and telefone without wire on this. i know she is definately coming herebefore i come from church now 2 of u have shown your face. pls mercy my dear sisters. mercy i beg.

I think you're alarming yourself unnecessarily.

The average Naija male cant handle being told his girlfriend had an abortion. Even some men whose girlfriends did multiple abortions on their behalf, can still condemn a woman they're dating, if they hear she has that in her past.

Some will condemn a woman for being a baby mama. Others will condemn her for having had an abortion.

What exactly is your fear here?

The woman should ask God's forgiveness first, and the rest will fall into place. But what she doesnt need is someone who will hold that against her forever.

I pray you also get temporarily blinded, btw.

nues aweso:

Thanx y'all.

The greatest prob is that this will turn to a conditional love. Does that mean my love for her will now depend on whether her uterus/womb is ok or not?

why o' why I really think that guys who mess up ladies lives should also pay in some way.

Btw, I'm getting stronger and a lot better than I was last night. To make matters worse, we've not spoken today, 1st time in 3months. . .Just hope time will heal this one pretty fast.

bros, u have a higher chance of not being able to inpregnant any girl for that matter than for this girl having any troubles. you are not the only man in town for goodness sake.

wetin now? u dey do like say the girl don win lottery meeting you. are u all that?

Its not easy o, I must confess but I'll dust it off sha. God dey!

@poster
comon.as long as her womb is not damaged n she is totally repentant of it, den y should'nt u give her a chance

If she can still have babies then whats ur stress . . . . atleast she told u

nues aweso:

Thanx y'all.

The greatest prob is that this will turn to a conditional love. Does that mean my love for her will now depend on whether her uterus/womb is ok or not?

why o' why I really think that guys who mess up ladies lives should also pay in some way.

Btw, I'm getting stronger and a lot better than I was last night. To make matters worse, we've not spoken today, 1st time in 3months. . .Just hope time will heal this one pretty fast.

Only thing she owes you is a fertility test.

Now I'am starting to wonder if she needs someone like you? I think she will do better finding someone who will not hold this over her head for the rest of her life. Poster please give it up, you are not perfect!

ThiefOfHearts:


Only thing she owes you is a fertility test.

will he have one too? i dont trust this boy at all. he is one of those people that will throw this word like a weapon to damage the girl later.

JJYOU:

will he have one too? i dont trust this boy at all. he is one of those people that will throw this word like a weapon to damage the girl later.

which is why i said her action was stupid. I can imagine hem arguing one day and he calls her "Abortion Queen" as an attack

u cant hold that against her. . . . .u dont even knw the circumstances around it

@poster: This is childish and not issue of morals or principles, I can quit a relationship with a girl who never had an abortion if she does not capture my dreams and passions for life,,,and I would marry a girl who had an abortion though captures my dreams and aspirations for life.,,,
Tell if you are a saint?In the past people used to say she must be a virgin,,,but life has gone beyond,,,being a virgin girl is not a guarantee to be a good wife,,,for a lady who confessed to you when she had the option to tell you a lie,,,thats the girl or lady I want to marry,,,If you know you don't want the girl,,pls leave her alone and go for non abortion girl and come here NL to tell us ur story in the future FTER u RE MARRIED,

abiooooo