walestar:

If truly women are partner, they don't deserve allowance except the man is willing to give it to them. a man should try to be responsible but not for woman to force it on man. Women are partners and not pet. I have seen where some women make more money than the husband and she also try to be responsible by giving his husband a car and taking care of her children school fees but when both started they not rich until the woman get a good job better than that of his man

Siena:

I can't understand half of what you've written.

walestar:

If truly women are partner, they don't deserve allowance except the man is willing to give it to them. a man should try to be responsible but not for woman to force it on man. Women are partners and not pet. I have seen where some women make more money than the husband and she also try to be responsible by giving his husband a car and taking care of her children school fees but when both started they not rich until the woman get a good job better than that of his man

Okija_juju:

Biina

I'm guessing you are a woman.

I totally disagree with you. If monkey works, then baboon will decide how to spend the monkeys salary abi!! NO!. The income belongs to the earner, to be spent on the family. The man is the head of the family, if he works, its his money. The woman is the assistant to the head, if she works, its her money.

So if the man owned the car, the house and all the stuff before the woman came in, is it still "our" stuff?? Whoevers name is on the lease, particulars or reciepts owns the stuff. That joint thing is so 1999. Remember that stuffs jointly owned are split right down the middle in case of a divorce.

walestar:

its good to give an allowance but woman should not demand for it. I give my gilfriend money but she never demanded because I have chase away the demanding ones, this issue of allowance may lead to divorce if force on the husband when he is broke but woman should work and not be a burden because they are partner and not pet

walestar:

If truly women are partner, they don't deserve allowance except the man is willing to give it to them. a man should try to be responsible but not for woman to force it on man. Women are partners and not pet.[b] I have seen where some women make more money than the husband and she also try to be responsible by giving his husband a car [/b]and taking care of her children school fees but when both started they not rich until the woman get a good job better than that of his man

krama:

1. The husband is obligated to give the wife money for the upkeep of the house
2. He is also required to give her some allowance (say monthly) for her personal use, which she can spend as she deems fit

Both are applicable whether or not the wife is a full-time housewife

Iranoladun:


No sir, I do not agree with your last sentence.  If  both wife & husband are working then the husband is not obligated to give the wife money.  They only need to agree on what percentage of their income they will spend on housekeeping, personal stuff, savings, school fees etc.  The money for personal stuff could come from the wife income or could be a joint contribution.

@Binna and @Osisi I completely agree with your post.  Anybody (man or woman) who choose not to work and is not an invalid may loose his/her right of financial independent when the chips are down (and believe me no condition is permanent).  Marriage is a partnership and  not master servant relationship; the moment one partner is not earning any income/contributing to the housekeeping purse (no matter how small) then the equilibrium will tilt towards the other partner who is shouldering all the financial responsibility (this is the reality).  

I Will advise any woman to find a means of earning an income even if she has to work at/from home as a form of insurance.  I have seen a lot of women being brought down to the lowest level of the financial strata simply because they are married and agree with 'oga' to be a full time housewife or get left behind (divorce or abandon) after years of being full time housewife. There are also cases of divorce or near-miss simply because the wife is not working and hubby feels she's too demanding financial wise.

A friend of mine lost her husband last year (sudden death) and now she has to fend for herself.  When the husband was alive he mounted so much pressure on my friend not to work but to be a full time housewife, we all rally round her not to succumb but to get a job that will not be too demanding ( she is a chartered accountant).  You can imagine what would have happen now that the breadwinner is no more and she has to take care of their kids and all other expenses single-handed.

Ilelobola:

$osisi
Staying at home to raise your children like someone said before is PRICELESS. It’s not about being educated or doing a menial or professional job.

Perhaps not everyone has access to these insurances but if a man dies and it means the family cannot survive; then arguably he hasn’t laid a strong enough foundation for the family. Obviously doesn’t apply in all cases. This is about married couples not divorcees. A divorced friend of mine still gets all her income from her ex-husband including a fully paid up house and no it was not because the courts asked him to do it. They were married, lived in and divorced in Nigeria before she moved to the UK with their 2 young children. A man that wants to be responsible will be especially where children are involved.

I am married too and working. No, I don’t find it demeaning, I have taken a year off work in the past and did not find it belittled me in anyway; he is my husband not my colleague. Like I said before, I used to think it ridiculous but I’ve long stopped being an independent woman. I have full access to his bank account so I don’t have to ask before I get it. He takes pride in advising his friends to do the same as long as they know their wives are wise. In my opinion it strengthens the union. He’s read some posts on here and struggles to understand why a man wouldn’t want to do anything and everything for his wife if he could.

My prayer is God blesses our men (and women of course) with all that they need to bear their responsibilities without fear.  

Am Alone:

I think allowance should be given to women, but not by F O R C E !

Ilelobola:

Roughlen

If you are really ‘akagum’ might be easier to cut your clothes up than ask. I did not mean literally of course . . . You obviously do not give her enough to cover the upkeep of the home otherwise she wouldn’t have to ask you either as she would have planned the expenditure so there is enough to buy the towels.

Ilelobola:

Roughlen

If you are really ‘akagum’ might be easier to cut your clothes up than ask. I did not mean literally of course . . . You obviously do not give her enough to cover the upkeep of the home otherwise she wouldn’t have to ask you either as she would have planned the expenditure so there is enough to buy the towels.

Roughlen:

Why do you keep ignoring the part where i said she works and doesn't contribute to the upkeep of the home.

Let me make this a little bit clearer to you. She works as a contract staff with one of the Banks and earns about 45k monthly which is about what i earn too.

Like i said earlier, she keeps all that money to herself and i provide all that the family needs: from diapers to rent. Even when she has cause to buy anything that has to do with the upkeep of the home in my absence, she ask for reimbursement and i'll give her.

I don't have any problem with her keeping her money to herself cos i consider it my responsibility to provide for my family, however, my grouse is with having to still give her an allowance for her personal needs.