Broken Marriage - Family - Nairaland
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Broken- Advice / The Blessing Of Coming From A Broken Home / Guys, Can You Get Married To A Lady From A Broken Home?(separated Or Divorced). (2) (3) (4)
| Broken Marriage by ugo2u(m): 7:31am On May 22, 2009 |
I am making a research on the reasons behind fallouts in marriages and solutions, what do you think is responsible for marriages ending in divorce? |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Nobody: 9:33am On May 22, 2009 |
Infidelity Lack of trust Lack of understanding Lack of finance combination of all this would definately make a marriage hit the rock |
| Re: Broken Marriage by ifyalways(f): 10:03am On May 22, 2009 |
Little or No courtship.The worst one. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Afribiz(f): 10:22am On May 22, 2009 |
When a husband allows his extended family to control his home Lack of maturity Poverty |
| Re: Broken Marriage by foye57(m): 10:34am On May 22, 2009 |
In three words that sums it all up: LACK OF UNDERSTANDING. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Treetop20(m): 10:41am On May 22, 2009 |
ifyalways:please explain further |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Nobody: 11:15am On May 22, 2009 |
. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Ben13: 11:18am On May 22, 2009 |
so many things are causes. e.g: A woman went to the court seeking a divorce, the judge asked her why she would want a divorce she replied that her husband sleeps naked at night. The judge now asked the man why she sleeps naked he then told the judge that his wife wets the bed so he is always afraid of getting his clothes wet. Lol. I got that from the joke section  |
| Re: Broken Marriage by bridget007(f): 11:37am On May 22, 2009 |
Many things: |
| Re: Broken Marriage by ifyalways(f): 12:28am On May 23, 2009 |
Treetop20:Courtship is meant to bring the wud be couple together,a period whereby the get to know themselves,things they have in common,their individual priorities,way of life,reaction to anger,stress,finacial problems,success,hobbies,likes and dislikes etc. Now,when 2 strangers get married with little or no knowledge abt themselves,they are bound to have problems ranging from which side of bed to sleep,how to use the tootpaste,where to hang out as a couple,where to spend vacation,baby names,how to spend money, etc.This funny problems most times,if not resolved in time,tend to result to divorce and infact the most common reason for divorce . . . .Irreconcilable differences .IMHO last line:long courtship however,does not guarantee a perfect/blissful marriage |
| Re: Broken Marriage by ugo2u(m): 1:54pm On May 23, 2009 |
Wow, thanks people, that's alot of information. So what will be the possible solution to these problems? Is there anything that can be done to avoid marriages ending up in divorce? |
| Re: Broken Marriage by bridget007(f): 2:32pm On May 23, 2009 |
@ UGO all I can say is number one TRUST, once that trust is broken with cheating and or lies it is very very hard to regain if near impossible because it can cause insecurity, doubt and worry in even the strong and forgiving. Second COMMUNICATION, if couples can't really communicate they cannot really enjoy each other's company, make joint decisions and sort and share problems. Thirdly, having a common goal that both are striding towards, not to say they can't also have independant goals but couples need to feel they are striving for similar things, it also helps that they have something to share, do together and communicate about-creates solidarity. Oh and affection, sex is important too but an unexpected touch on the hand, back, a kiss or a hug reaffirms how important each is to each other. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by ugo2u(m): 7:22pm On May 24, 2009 |
Thanks |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Secretz(f): 7:51pm On May 24, 2009 |
ifyalways: I agree to this to some extent. With the kind of culture we have, we are not supposed to co-habit etc. But I believe you never truly know a person until you live with them or circumstances arise. Some people may rubbish this, but I think a lot of broken marriages is due to the lack of putting God first.  |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 7:59pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz: The major cause of broken marriages is women trying to assume the roles of men in marriage. I think the whole 'independent women' schitzo has screwed up the brain-cells of today's women. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Secretz(f): 8:07pm On May 24, 2009 |
~Sauron~: I have to agree. Hence the point of people not putting God first. If they did, women would not be assuming the role of men and men would not maltreat their women, because the laws, rules and guidelines are clear as day in the bible. Not saying people should tolerate just anything, but still. . . . the marriages I know that have worked out (for those who are religious) it's because they put God first. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 8:12pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz: I know a lot of atheists who are happy in their marriages. . . . . . The real McCoy is women trying to wear the trousers in their marriages. All of a sudden, they feel just because they can provide financially and they can pay for sex. . . . . .they don't need husbands. It's pathetic. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by tope5000: 8:14pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz:Gbam. . .this independent rubbish is beginning to get out of hand, if the husband is going thru financial crisis then its ok 4 the woman to take charge witout making the man feel less of a man. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by C2H5OH(f): 8:16pm On May 24, 2009 |
I want to thank you both. It's high time some of you women start recognizing your stupid obsession with masculinity. Oops, sorry if that sounds offensive. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Nobody: 8:17pm On May 24, 2009 |
foye57: that is the only answer that made sense in MY book. everyone is different from race to religion to society. so any person willing to make a marriage work should UNDERSTAND the person in front of them and know what it will take to make them happy. its all about being comfortable AND compatible with a partner. in some countries women have no say whatsoever in the marriage and that is ok (to each their own) so any woman marrying a man in these part of the world/society shouldnt expect much in terms of respect,honesty, trust. you have to fully understand who you are dealing with and ACCEPT what he stands for before marrying him/her, and not expect him/her to change. it doesnt matter how much trust you have in your man if he, or the society you live in, does not condemn polygamy. it doesnt matter how much you partner respects you if they do not believe that cheating is wrong. people should first be on the same page and talk the same "language" before even considering marriage. unfortunately these days people go on a few good dates and then decide to marry, then complain when that person turns out to be a fukc up. hello?! many woman think that marriage is "by force" due to the 9ja society view on the subject. so after a certain time some women are getting restless and will shack up with any caveman out there, providing he has a stable financial situation. then in the long run they will complain when that man will turn out to be, exactly what he is, a cave man. men are no different, their main view of marriage is to have a family but mainly CHILDREN. family will expect that, egos will make them want to show the world that they are M A N with healthy dikcs. see how men will marry someone and if that person turns out to be infertile, they will drop her like a bad rash. if you dearly love someone then the fact that she cant conceive shouldnt make her any less of a perfect wife (any person with disability enter this equation). if someone truly married their partners for who they are, then they wouldnt do that. also look at the 9ja society for example, almost every woman will tell you that they are god fearing BUT YET, they wouldnt dream on marrying a poor guy. while the bible clearly states that you should only judge a person by whats inside their heart not their financial, sexual or society status. hello?! there are too many hypocrites out there! a possible solution is for people to accept WHO THEY ARE, to be open minded about it, to let any prospective partner know exactly who they are so that no "problems" will arise later, to stop lowering their standards in the name of desperation, family or money. to be the only one to make the decision to marry and last but not least to understand that marriage is not a joke and if you are not 150% sure about what you will get yourself into, then dont do it. dont marry someone because you THINK that they will be a great partner but because you KNOW that they will be a great spouse. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 8:20pm On May 24, 2009 |
tope5000: Tope, if i woze your face. . . . . .you will lose ALL your incisors. If the husband is going through financial crisis, a woman can take charge with humility not pride. Today's women quickly relegate the husband to a house-boy just because they are the ones doing the mortgage. How crass is that?? |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Secretz(f): 8:27pm On May 24, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Come closer. . . . . . . . you need a slap.  ~Sauron~: Like for like hun. Understanding is really the major thing here, because if you are both 'religious' then put your God first, if you're both atheists then put your beliefs etc first and understand that's the way it is. But paying for sex? ? ? Sorry love, I don't think so, not me. I'm not that independent. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by C2H5OH(f): 8:29pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz:Lol thank you baby.  |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 8:31pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz: Hehehe
I thunk using dildos is paying for sex, no? Then some of y'all go to pubs/clubs with the intention of picking up men and shag his brains out. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by tope5000: 8:32pm On May 24, 2009 |
C2H5OH:lol, U sound bitter. @sauron- lmao, not all women are the same. A man dat has been catering to my every need since courtship, so paying the bills while he is going thru financial crisis shudnt mean shit, infact i must be a selfish wife if i didnt pay the bills n i wil never make him feel lyk house boy, i dnt treat ppl in a way i dnt want to be treated. Period |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 8:35pm On May 24, 2009 |
tope5000: Will you marry me then?  |
| Re: Broken Marriage by tope5000: 8:37pm On May 24, 2009 |
~Sauron~: I need to see if u match up with my specifications |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Secretz(f): 8:45pm On May 24, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Come hia! Turn the other cheek! Lemme slap that one too. ~Sauron~: Sorry again, I do not go clubbing or pubbing. Wouldn't trust a man from that kind of environment. Since when does using dildos mean the same thing as paying for sex? haba! tope5000: lmao. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by C2H5OH(f): 8:48pm On May 24, 2009 |
Topinson, don't I always sound that way? Tough love I guess. Secretz, do as you please. Just make sure you drop me your number when you are thru wit me. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by tope5000: 8:49pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz: Didnt u buy for that Love Machine at Ann Summers . . . abi na present |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Sauron1: 8:49pm On May 24, 2009 |
Secretz: U bought the Love Machine to help you reach orgasm. . . . . .Just like men pay for sex @ Soho. Any difference? tope5000: I'll see what i can do. |
| Re: Broken Marriage by Secretz(f): 8:56pm On May 24, 2009 |
tope5000: lmao. It was from your shop I bought it. ~Sauron~: lol. I don't know how to use it Sauron. . . . . Do you pay for sex @ soho? C2H5OH: 118 118 |
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