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Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by 2odd(m): 2:38pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Julie Ferman of YourTango explains why ‘love at
first sight’ is almost a myth and how singles keep
repeating the mistake of thinking there must be an
initial spark on the first meet with some great guy or
girl.
Have you ever wondered if you’ve possibly missed
opportunities to date someone REALLY great simply
because they didn’t dramatically strike your fancy at
first glance?
I’m here to tell you … you’ve probably missed out
on some wonderful potential partners. And likely,
plenty of great people also overlooked you!
I recently read a New York Times article that
highlighted how fatal of a mistake it is for single men
and women to limit their love prospects only to those
who instantly elicit a dramatic, romantic response
upon that very first peek.
After many years as a personal matchmaker and
dating coach, I see firsthand why it’s smart to look
outside the arena of “It Girls” and “It Guys.”
Everyone who’s dating in today’s wacky world grew
up with the media, and we’ve all been trained by
decades of magazines, billboards, and screens (both,
large and handheld) to go for “the Clooneys” and
“the Angelinas.”
But, how often does someone fall in love at first
sight with someone who looks like that? Oh … maybe
a hundred times a day … and does that kind of
attention (and stalking) breed heart, soul and rock
solid character? Sadly, in my experience, I’d say
it’s rare.
If you are waiting to fall in love with someone who
grabs you visually from the get-go, you’re
undoubtedly missing lots and lots (and lots) of far
better partners than the ones who catch your eye
right away. All that attention tends to breed
entitlement and narcissism, and really who needs
that?
Recent research delivers a powerful message to us,
that time spent together can and often does impact
romantic attraction.
Psychologists at the University of Texas in Austin
conducted the study, measuring the level of romantic
attraction that students had for their fellow
classmates. More specifically, what the researchers
measured was the change in attraction over time, as
the students got to know each other over the course
of several months — interacting with each other in a
small classroom environment.
The findings? The peers that students considered at
the beginning of the school term to have the most
romantic appeal were not necessarily in the “cream”
that rose to the top several months later. In fact,
the study revealed that the more time spent together,
the greater the disparity between perceptions of who
was hot and who was, in the end — not.
Today’s singles are ruthless in their superficiality,
and apps like Tinder and Hinge only exacerbate the
problem.
With these dating tools, the question as to whether
someone is a “Keeper” or not is a decision made in
a half a second. I do know couples who’ve met via
Tinder and Hinge, but mostly I see a big time sucker
that leaves, both, men and women feeling empty,
weary, dissatisfied and still alone on Friday nights
(with their device, swiping left and right).
I’ve had the honor and joy of working with The
Matchmaking Institute, where Dr. Helen Fisher has
shared so much of her wisdom. She’s a biological
anthropologist, a foremost expert in the Romantic
Love and Attraction sciences, hired by Match.com as
part of the architectural team responsible for creating
Chemistry.com. Dr. Helen Fisher knows as much
about the biology of love and attraction as anyone
alive today, and she conducted a survey that backs
up the University of Texas findings.
Dr. Fisher was looking closely at what she calls
“slow love” — when romantic love develops for two
people not at first sight, but over time.
As we might expect, the study showed that “slow
love” happens more for women than it does for men,
but not nearly as dramatic a difference as we might
think; 43 percent of women and 33 percent of men
reported that they have developed romantic attraction
for and have indeed fallen in love with someone whom
they had not initially deemed attractive.
Developing a case of “the hots” over time most
certainly DOES occur for today’s single love seekers.
In fact, it’s happening more now than ever, as the
age at which today’s single men and women are
coupling up continues to rise. And it’s a good thing
that romantic attraction can and does develop over
time — as let’s face it — for the vast majority of
us, as we get older, our looks aren’t as likely to
turn heads.
It’s a smart single person who does less swiping
and suspends judgment for a while, to allow a person
to fully “reveal” themselves.
What qualities and characteristics did Dr. Fisher’s
survey reveal that make a person ultimately attractive
and appealing romantically? The inside stuff —
humor, shared interests, and the art of conversation.
In other words, give each other a chance and take
the time to get to know each other. |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by tunnyl(m): 2:41pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
It exists inIndian films |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by HCpaul(m): 2:41pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Though i didn't read the long and unending post, but am still capable of providing a relevant and emulative answer. It exist but conditional, base on events. |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by jaymejate: 2:44pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
It exists. Love at first sight is not permanent tho. It fades when another beautiful /handsome pesin show face |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Nobody: 2:59pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
It does. A chick is currently in love for me. I'm kind of confused now. |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Olasco93: 3:08pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Nice Post OP. I do tell myself and people continually that; ''there is nothing like love at first sight but 'Like'... Because love is not a day thing, but a daily thing. Love is like a seed that needs time to grow. The more you get to know the person as the days goes by, the more you get acquinted and develop much love towards the person. Love needs time. The more you convers with the other party and kmow more about each other, the more Love grows its root deeper and deeper. I wisdom will direct us to that Guy/Girl who will truly LOVE you wholeheartedly, not those who will LIKE us because Likes fade away like a shirt, but Real Love which is GREATER never do... 1 Like |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Nobody: 3:17pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
what happens at first sight is infatuation...love grows with time... it s a gradual step, it s like an infant, it needs to be fed, nutured nd nourished actually it occurs in films nd novels... |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Maxi112: 3:53pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Slimbeth:u r right I Blv u in this one |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Nobody: 3:57pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Only sexx at first sight i know |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by Cutehector(m): 3:57pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Love is more than we think it is |
Re: Do Love At First Sight Really Exist by sucrekwin(f): 8:26am On Nov 23, 2015 |
HCpaul: Yea it does,but to a factual point of view,it's rare. |
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