True Love:

It is not always easy to remember the distinction between love and lust. What does it mean to love someone? One of the advantages of the Greek language is that there are four different words for love that give deeper
meaning than the one word we have in the English language.

1.Agape: Used to express the love of God. This is selfless love; it gives
and expects nothing in return.

2.Philia: Love between friends.

3.Storge: Love between members of a family.

4.Eros: Romantic love, lust, passion.

In order for a godly marriage to flourish, it must be built upon selfless love, agape love.

Romantic love/lust doesn’t sustain the relationship when children, age, and health problems come. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

(5) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
(6) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
(7) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
( Love never fails...”1 Corinthians 13 is talking about agape love. Agape love, selfless love, is all about someone other than self. Both men and woman will be very unattractive at times. Selfless love puts the needs of the other person ahead of our own needs, wants, and desires.

Selfless love is what keeps a marriage together through any trial. One of the greatest lessons in selfless love in my life was to see my mother
take care of my paralyzed father. When my dad was in his late 40’s he had an aneurysm which caused paralysis on the left of his body and left him wheelchair bound, partially blind, and very weak. My dad, who was athletic and strong, a man who could do anything, was reduced to a man who often needed help just to use the bathroom. Not a lot of romance or passion in my parent’s relationship, but there was love
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selfless love, the love that lasts through any trial or problem, and the same love that God has toward us. If you want a godly marriage, you need to learn selfless love.


Fake Love:

Romans 12:9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.

Love with hypocrisy is a selfish love. We learn selfish love as children very early. We learn how to manipulate people to get what we want.
We learn to treat someone nice before we ask them for a favor or maybe complement them on something, then ask them for a favor.
We can get into a habit of fake love. Love with hypocrisy in relationships is when you put your desires and passions ahead of what is proper or what is best for the other person.

Love with hypocrisy is when you want to satisfy your lusts at the expense of stealing someone’s purity.
Agape love looks out for what is best for the other person and for God, not what is best for to fulfill the passions of the moment.

Do you know how to selflessly love someone? To be honest, I think most young people don't have much experience in practicing selfless love. But the good news is that we can learn! In practical terms, we can learn by being nice even if you have nothing to gain.

It will mean caring about people, who many times, you might never see again. It will mean doing nice things for retired people, little kids, and strangers. It will mean going to church events even if there are no attractive singles there. It will mean being nice to people you don't think are attractive. This is sincere love.

The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29-37) is a good example of selfless love, doing what is right because it is right, not because you have something to gain. The Samaritan went out of his way, spent his time and his money on someone he most likely would never meet again. He spent what was equivalent today to several hundred dollars on a stranger in need!

Selfless love often doesn’t have an instant reward. In fact, selfless love is often inconvenient. But without selfless love you will be exactly what 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 talks about, you are “nothing” and you “profit nothing”.

The irony of selfish love is that one will never be satisfied by selfishness. It is by giving and being generous and selfless that we find the blessings and joy of true love.