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15 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Not Working Out by Onuigbo59(m): 5:56pm On Dec 16, 2015 |
It’s so easy for us to give up faith in
relationships. Many of us have thought
about quitting several times. People will
tell you, “When you fall off a horse, you
have to get back on.” That’s provided you
haven’t concluded that you don’t even
want to be on that damn horse.
Relationships can be like horses. Some
people think they’re beautiful, remarkable,
strong and elegant creatures. Others think
they’re stinky, stupid, wild and really not
all that important to their lives. There’s
many ways to view relationships; the key
is that we’ve all got to find ourselves in
self-examination when relationships fail or
don’t work out. Yes, there are many times
when it wasn’t our fault, it was their
fault. However, there are times that
regardless of who’s fault, it’s time to
examine why it isn’t working out.
1. You don’t know when to shut up —
There comes a point where making your
point becomes harmful. There are times
when your sentence could end and be just
as powerful, but is ruined because of a
motor mouth.
2. You tell everybody your damn
business — Your friends are your support
system, but they are a gift and a curse.
They can be there for you when you’re
hurt, but they can also pacify you when
you need to teethe.
3. You refuse to accept that you’ll need
to make some changes in your life — “I’m
not going to change for anybody” is always
the extreme of not knowing what “How
can I be better?” really means.
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4. You expect others to put up with your
problems — “You should accept me flaws
and all” is only half true. I’ve always said,
“I accept that you have problems, but that
doesn’t mean I’ll make them my own.”
5. You’re inconsistent — You say you
know what you want, you say you know
what you don’t want, but you allow the
two to mix sometimes. You can’t profess
that you’re ready to settle down at one
point and then shout “YOLO!” at the next.
6. You’re not ugly, just unattractive —
Too often people confuse looks with
attraction. I know plenty of beautiful
women who are not attractive. It may be
personality traits, or they have only
heavily relied on their looks and haven’t
focused on their entire being to become
completely whole.
7. You’re too judgmental — Your perfect
ten is probably not the person you envision
them to be when you jot it down on paper.
You also can’t expect them to come off-the-
shelf like that too. You’re knocking down
potential and people who may meet your
80%, just because you find minor flaws.
8. Your network is not helpful — You are
the company you keep. You have to have
positive reinforcements in your life. It
doesn’t mean that you have to have
married friends, or friends with children.
It means you have to have a positive
network that is beautiful, instead of
looking like a war zone of love.
9. You haven’t learned to let go —
Acceptance is a part of life that we always
struggle with. We have to learn that we’ll
have to accept things in our past and leave
them there. We hold onto things because
we think that if we let them go it’s like
we’re saying it’s okay. We’re not, we’re
accepting it and allow ourselves to move
past it.
10. You’ve got too much pride — Pride
will stand in your way. It will make you
quit a relationship because you feel
slighted at a certain point, rather than
doubling down and making it work. When
you start concerning yourself with how
you look to others instead of how you feel
on the inside, you lose.
11. You want what you deserve, but don’t
want to earn it — Everybody thinks they
deserve the world. Everybody thinks
they’re awesome individuals. Then they
make everyone pass all these tests before
they’ll prove it. The world wasn’t made in
a day – you have to put in the necessary
work too.
12. Your past becomes baggage instead of
lessons learned — Everything that
happens in our life, happens for a reason.
At times, we acknowledge that something
happened, but don’t understand the
reasons and lessons we can learn. It
becomes a story that ends with the
occurrence and not what came of that
experience.
13. You digest entirely too much trash
instead of daily bread — Whether it is too
much reality TV or trash on the radio,
learn to balance when you digest.
Everything in moderation, but honest
moderation. You can’t possibly know all
the characters on each reality show, but
can’t tell me one great book (heck, author
of an article) that was written in the last
year you’ve read.
14. You make poor investments — We’re
all guilty of investing our time and effort
into things we know won’t bring us any
closer to happiness. We tell ourselves, “just
this last time” but we know it’s a guilty
pleasure. We also put time and effort into
investments that haven’t yielded any
results in some time — learn to walk away
and stop making those in the future.
15. You allow yourself to be enabled —
This one is huge — we become guilty of
enablement. We say that “I’ll land on my
feet,” “There’s plenty to choose from,” or
we tout off how many degrees or how
much wealth we have as reasons why we
don’t have to make changes. Or, we make
mistakes because we know there aren’t
consequences, or don’t believe there are
consequences. Don’t allow yourself to be
enabled, always challenge yourself to do
good despite of whether you’re held
accountable for it or not.
I swear to you, this list started out with
five points, then it was seven, and then it
was ten. I thought for sure I was done
with the list. When I began to transform a
few points scribbled down on paper into an
actual post and talk to friends about the
points, it expanded to fifteen. I also realize
that this list is not exhaustive – there are
several other points that could be made. A
few other things about this list; 1) The
reason why I started each point with “you”
is because when we’re single that’s who
we should focus on, not the other people,
2) This list is unisex, it wasn’t for women
or men, and 3) You may suffer from one or
you may suffer from all. If it doesn’t 100%
apply to you, don’t toss it aside as not
applicable.
Last, I’m not sure that you can solve these
flaws overnight. That’s okay, not too many
things work that way. Most times, it takes
hard work and a concerted effort to
reconcile and fix these. I think the first
step is to tell ourselves that we have a flaw
or an opportunity for improvement. Can
you be in a relationship and work on
yourself? Absolutely, but only to the extent
that it doesn’t become a burden on the
person you’re dating. Regardless, I don’t
think there’s anything on this list that we
can accept as a personal character trait
and move on, that’s literally why our
relationships continue to fail. |
Re: 15 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Not Working Out by tuwayz(m): 6:01pm On Dec 16, 2015 |
Op try to organize your writings to ease reading |
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