Pataki:

It depends on your mindset. The only way time would heal emotional wounds is when you divert your attention to something else other than that emotional hurt. If such step is taken, definitely, time would heal the hurt.

iice:

Yes, if you are of that frame of mind, eventually things fade.

Love also heals. You find something/someone to love

Romeo4real:


Many posters assume this is a simple black/ white issue, without understanding the intricacies and complexities of emotional entanglement.

Monicaa:

Thanks everybody for your help, I guess, I'll have to force myself to let go of such emotions.

Romeo4real:

@monicaa-
The first thing to understand is that this is not unusual, and many people go through this at some stage in their lives.
The second thing is to accept the way you feel, and stop beating urself up, or feel guilty abt it. If you dont accept there is a problem, you will never start the journey of finding the solution - which brings me to the 3rd thing.

You confirm the relationship was not that great, but you miss him - The reason is that there is a way he made you feel, or the relationship made you feel, that is now missing in ur life or present relationship.
Do bear in mind this might have nothing to do with him (how nice he was to you), and may have everything to do with you (something abt him/relationship made you feel god abt urself).

This is what u have to identify. Once you know this, or meet someone who makes u feel the same way, it'll be a lot easier to move on.
Do note that moving on odes not mean you forget. It simply means u accept the loss, and the way u feel, and just get on with life or ur future relationships.

Many posters assume this is a simple black/ white issue, without understanding the intricacies and complexities of emotional entanglement.

tope5000:

No need to force it . . . . .its not easy to let go-agreed
But is the dude worth fighting for? If no, count yourselve lucky to be out of the relationship and move on . . .one day at a time though

Treetop20:

you have made lots of sense here mate
i once felt that way about someone and somehow
i know she is that one you never really get over but you learn
to live with it. It is hard doing so but once you meet someone wonderful
it makes it easier. Never compare because no two human beings can be the same
there is just one or several things that will make you happier in the future when you look back( you have to get there first)
asking yourself questions will do you no good because only him( your ex) has the answers
it gets easier. . it really does!

Monicaa:

You are right. Not easy though. It is not even about him or being with him, I just miss him even as a person. There are more loving guys I've met but still he is always in my thoughts.

tope5000:

Do u socialise at all? if u dont i suggest u start asap.
I have always said no guy own a girl until he put a ring on it . . . . .go out, have fun, go on date . . . .laugh ur head off

Monicaa:

I agree with that statement there and that's something I have to put in mind. There are a lot of loving guys out there but sometimes I still remember my ex and feel he is better than some of what they o and that makes me withdraw.

Treetop20:

[i]don't be deceived. even then he/she doesn't own anything
until you marry in front of a church or court. seriously a ring don't really mean nothing!

tope5000:

Do u socialise at all? if u dont i suggest u start asap.
I have always said no guy own a girl until he put a ring on it . . . . .go out, have fun, go on date . . . .laugh ur head off

Treetop20:

it is normal to feel this way. you have to make yourself give someone else a chance
it has to be an effort you will have to make. you find out that feelings don't come as easily as they used to
you have to work on it. no other man will hold you the way he does or look at you the same way he used to
nothing he did with you will be the exact same with another man. comparing is time wasting.
I also know that you aren't sitting at home waiting for him either. you know you have to move on but how to do it
is what you are asking and you are wondering when that "complete move on will happen"

C2H5OH:

The wound is fresh.  It will subside.  Been there b4.  Bleep it, go hit the gym hard.  Occupy your mind with activities that will take your mind off the prob, ya dig?

C2H5OH:

The wound is fresh. It will subside. Been there b4. Bleep it, go hit the gym hard. Occupy your mind with activities that will take your mind off the prob, ya dig?

Diva1:


Is it guaranteed?

Outstrip:

[S]Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go,--so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, "There is no memory of him here!"
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!

Edna St Vincent Millay - 1892-1950

[/S]

When I broke up with my last boyfriend I was so sad. It was a very loving relationship but I wanted more. I wanted to go back a million times but I stopped myself. The most important thing though is that unlike "my favorite poem", time brings relief. You will get over him. Believe me you will think back and smile with no regrets. You will love again.