chachanga:


Yet men seem hardwired for talking it out in all manner of ways.

What methods would now work in this seemingly hopeless kinda case?

No method is needed. They're obviously incompatible.

The OP needs to learn to stop forcing issues. He is going to end up unhappy, frustrated and depressed by the time it dawns on him that she would never change.

He needs to tell himself the truth and cut his losses. Don't let the "sunk cost" fallacy needle you into making a decision that would haunt you for the rest of your life.

The resentment he feels now is nothing compared to what he would feel when married to her. By then, the sight of her face would want to make him puke.

THIS IS A DEAD-END RELATIONSHIP!

fastestfinger:
I'm yet to see anything more futile in this world than sitting a woman down and yapping away at the mouth with the hopes of getting her to change.

This technique would easily work on a man cos' men are creatures of logic. Whereas women by default reason via their emotions.

A female friend of the lady that means well, can do the job.

Sneazes....kishikishikishi, chai, o God, dis hamatan eh

docspikkey:
They say love is blind but marriage opens it up. I don't want to have a failed marriage later in life as this my girlfriend cum fiancee is really bringing out the beast in me and I think it's time we called it quits.
I don't want it to seem like I'm over reacting to some things that's why I'm bringing it here for advice because I'm really starting to loose it.

1. When we first started dating, she was pretty cool headed (or maybe she was pretending), and more shapely than she is now. Now she eats every thing she lays her eyes on, she's developed too much belly fat and even looks older than her age. A little caution from me to her and she goes on the defensive. She maybe derives pleasure in making me angry and I've got a temper I try to control. Nothing is too weighty for her so say. At times when we have a disagreement, she makes annoying references to my mother and she wants to be a daughter in law to this same person?

2. She expects me to do everything in the house for her from arranging the house to cooking to and expects me to do it with joy. Yes I can cook, and I don't mind assisting her in the kitchen, but it becomes annoying when she always wants me to cook when she's around and doing nothing. Is this what I'm going to face when we finally get married?? Leaving like a bachelor in my fuk!n marital home? Worse is she never fails to mention she's not my house wife...so maybe when we get married, she would say she's not my slave.

3. Hygiene, and in terms of neatness, she turns me d fuc.k down. Dropping her Bleep!n stained pads all over my house during her period or in my waste bin . Now as a medical practitioner, those things hardly irritate me but what should be done ought to be done and rightly too. I've tried talking to her but there are things a guy doesn't need to tell you if you are a mature lady. If she can't handle herself during her period, what would she teach our daughters when they get to that age? At times during sex, the smell is a turn off but I'm so careful not to hurt her feelings that I don't even tell her.

4. She tends to nag a lot until things go her way. That is my greatest turn off ; she knows it, yet she does it during these sessions she at times goes physical and expects me to lump it. There are times I get so mad I just go out so as not to loose it. I'm strictly against beating women but she's really leading me down that path and I think it doesn't need to degenerate to that extent before we go our separate ways.

These are just some of the things she does and most times when I imagine life with her due to all these her attitude, I get scared.
Or could the fault be with me? Could it be I'm expecting too much from her? Could it be my standards are too high and need to reduce?
Please advise me cos I'm seriously at a loss on what to do again with her and I'm writing with anger shaking every part of my body. I love her but that's not enough for me to condone every thing she does.

Based on church mind...


You should breakup with her...should leave her mehn...she's a fuckup...she'll do worse when you marry......this is my church advice for u

docspikkey:
I've tried talking...it mostly ends up in a stale mate....u know all dat defensive s.hit. she's quite fun to be around with when she's not pissing one off...but I've been serious doubts.

Sir, Please take a walk and never look back.
I understand what you are seeing.
What you are seeing is her real self.
This is a preview of the future.
You will be ignoring these ominous signs to your peril.
This babe will bring out the beast in you. Run before get turned into something else.
She is comfortable enough with you to let you see her default setting.
If she can not change now, she will never change when you ring that finger. It will only get worse.
If you can not get her to see these as an issue now, you never will after.
Some can seem to "understand" your view, but very soon slip back to default setting.
Do not let it get to you, your standards are reasonable.
Without mincing words if what you said is the way it is, I support your braking up for good 100%

Mister just the first point is enough for a breakup why wait for others? please breakup as soon as you can, if as a lady you can't control your throat,disrespectful,dirty and arrogant please of what use is such a lady.........Love is never enough to be in a relationship

hmmmm my simple advice is dt u guys shld stp co habiting bc it is preventing u frm breaking up with her already

she is nt a good wife material judging from ur post

docspikkey:
They say love is blind but marriage opens it up. I don't want to have a failed marriage later in life as this my girlfriend cum fiancee is really bringing out the beast in me and I think it's time we called it quits.
I don't want it to seem like I'm over reacting to some things that's why I'm bringing it here for advice because I'm really starting to loose it.

1. When we first started dating, she was pretty cool headed (or maybe she was pretending), and more shapely than she is now. Now she eats every thing she lays her eyes on, she's developed too much belly fat and even looks older than her age. A little caution from me to her and she goes on the defensive. She maybe derives pleasure in making me angry and I've got a temper I try to control. Nothing is too weighty for her so say. At times when we have a disagreement, she makes annoying references to my mother and she wants to be a daughter in law to this same person?

2. She expects me to do everything in the house for her from arranging the house to cooking to and expects me to do it with joy. Yes I can cook, and I don't mind assisting her in the kitchen, but it becomes annoying when she always wants me to cook when she's around and doing nothing. Is this what I'm going to face when we finally get married?? Leaving like a bachelor in my fuk!n marital home? Worse is she never fails to mention she's not my house wife...so maybe when we get married, she would say she's not my slave.

3. Hygiene, and in terms of neatness, she turns me d fuc.k down. Dropping her Bleep!n stained pads all over my house during her period or in my waste bin . Now as a medical practitioner, those things hardly irritate me but what should be done ought to be done and rightly too. I've tried talking to her but there are things a guy doesn't need to tell you if you are a mature lady. If she can't handle herself during her period, what would she teach our daughters when they get to that age? At times during sex, the smell is a turn off but I'm so careful not to hurt her feelings that I don't even tell her.

4. She tends to nag a lot until things go her way. That is my greatest turn off ; she knows it, yet she does it during these sessions she at times goes physical and expects me to lump it. There are times I get so mad I just go out so as not to loose it. I'm strictly against beating women but she's really leading me down that path and I think it doesn't need to degenerate to that extent before we go our separate ways.

These are just some of the things she does and most times when I imagine life with her due to all these her attitude, I get scared.
Or could the fault be with me? Could it be I'm expecting too much from her? Could it be my standards are too high and need to reduce?
Please advise me cos I'm seriously at a loss on what to do again with her and I'm writing with anger shaking every part of my body. I love her but that's not enough for me to condone every thing she does.

Sorry bro but I've got just 1 advise:

*in snoop doggy dogg's voice* Drop her like she's hot! She'll do worse

I'm so sorry I've been absent here the season has brought up many emergencies so I've been very busy. I really thank everyone that contributed to the thread. I appreciate your efforts.

just so some things are clear, I'm not cohabiting with her. she came to spend a three weeks break with me (she just finished service).
Also, d going physical thing is this girlish hitting thing you know not like beating me ooo...lol

I've talked to her also in very strong terms. She actually stumbled upon this thread and she has up'd her game much to my pleasure. They say attack is sometimes the best defence.

Thanks y'all....gracias