Am Sick Of It. - Romance - Nairaland
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| Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 8:31am On Dec 22, 2015 |
My boyfriend and our relationship. I don't know if its due to the fact that am an easy going person who forgives easily, that's why he keeps treating me like this. He has been treating me funny since the very day he asked me out and I believe the only reason he wants to marry me is because he is growing old and getting desperate for marriage. He is 31 and I am 23. The day he asked me to marry him he started a conversation about men having two wives and asked me what my opinion would be if he married a second wife. I was taken aback and shocked that he asked such a question at a time like that but I answered and told him that I didn't like the idea. Even after the proposal he didn't give me a ring. He just sat on the couch and so casually and I accepted. Up till today no ring. Then on my birthdays he doesn't buy any gift at all. Birthday, Christmas, any celebration at all, he doesn't given me any gift. The only time he bought me something during our two year relationship is when he was coming over to visit me from another state and I requested he buys 'bread' for me when coming and the second time was when I was ignoring his calls for two days because of an offensive statement he made to me about my appearance. He sent me 400naira Airtel credit to appease me and told his sister to beg for him. That is how he keeps making offensive statements to me about my appearance, telling me to lose weight and to use certain types of make up. I don't think he is even physically attracted to me, he is probably with me because I don't demand money so much. I wish I can leave him but I am scared I won't find another man that will marry me. I am not so physically attractive and all through my university days I didn't have any boyfriend because of it. The last straw that broke the camel's back is when he came visiting one day after I told him my mother was in the hospital in a life threatening condition. I thought he was coming to offer me support and encouragement only for him to start trying to initiate sex acts with me. I was just thinking what kind of inconsideration is this? How will you even think of sex when I just told you my mother is not feeling well? I recently met another man who appeared to be interested in me but he is a Muslim and a Soldier and my parents would never allow me marry from another religion. Also I can't marry a Soldier because he can lose his life at any time during war and leave me widowed. I just needed to vent because I m so annoyed. Thanks for reading. 1 Like |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by BlueScholar(m): 9:16am On Dec 22, 2015 |
I'm glad you recognize both his flaws and yours. True- people should love us for who we are but again we need to improve ourselves in order to be the best we can be. So you should try and lost your weight, its not impossible, and you don't even need to go on a diet, you can start by reducing the quantity of food you eat and if possible start skipping lunch and replace it with drinks, water, juice what have you for some time. You should also look for clothes that will bring out the best in you. While you're still at that; improving yourself, I think you should take a break from this relationship, it looks like he's not all that into you, staying in it will only delay the inevitable, and if you're lucky, taking a break from him might show him your worth, how important you are. And lastly never allow any man treat you like trash, 23 you're still young so don't rush into becoming his wife till he shows you he is ready and that will be through his actions not words. Be patient and pray to God to guide your heart into doing what's right for you. Good luck 3 Likes |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 9:18am On Dec 22, 2015 |
I don't care about the whole epistle but loose weight? That caught my attention. Are you fat? If yes then loose weight. You must be fat and ugly that's why your boyfriend said that. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by joliyp(f): 9:33am On Dec 22, 2015 |
u r beautiful dear and ur heart is good!!let him go remix passager |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 10:25am On Dec 22, 2015 |
 NiggasThe day op leaves him Nd he realises he needs her Op trust me another man wud av married u nd treat u like a queen. Be prayerful to God nd leave it to him to direct ur next move |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 11:31am On Dec 22, 2015 |
Thanks for your advice everyone. I am trying to lose weight because I am chubby but that doesn't justify the shabby treatment. Besides he saw me like this before he asked me out and if he didn't like my appearance he shouldnt have asked me out. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by falconey(m): 11:37am On Dec 22, 2015 |
the FTC guy epistle is even more than the original poster's post. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 4:06pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
falconey: I appreciate the time and effort he took to type the reply. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 5:09pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
Sk8er a man has been treating you funny since you met him,You've sussed out the guy does not feel attracted to you what are you waiting for? You are not yet married and he is already discussing wife 2 with you. I hear that you are worried that you may not get another man because you don't feel all that but I bet that you will feel totally ugly if you end u with a husband who does not desire you. Who wants a man who sets out to make you feel bad? Not you I hope. Chubby is sexy and hot as hell to some men you should groom your self esteem from within as a human being not because you are pretty or rich or slim or whatever just because you were born worthy and deserving. The good thing about the relationship with this man is that you are clearer on the type of treatment you don't want in a relationship which means you have a clearer picture of the type of treatment you want and deserve from a man who wants to marry you. Just because he is the man in front of you right now does not necessarily make him mr right. Leave the man and move on to a greater man. 3 Likes |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by nicerod(m): 5:34pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
Go and get anoda guy |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by nicerod(m): 5:39pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
Chubby babes rock beta. If u dnt mind we can work thns out |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by falconey(m): 5:51pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 6:50pm On Dec 22, 2015 |
So out if Desperation u marry him. And live miserably for d nxt 5 years. Enduring abuse and torment. U age faster ir drop dead on day. Ur beta off unmarried dan facing this |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by TruthTella(m): 12:01am On Dec 26, 2015 |
Leave him. You will surely find someone else, someone better. Just pray to God and widen your social circle. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by valdes00(m): 3:34am On Dec 26, 2015 |
Desperation at 23........ Isn't that stupidity |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by NemzySeries(m): 3:55am On Dec 26, 2015 |
dunt b silly u dis chubby gal....so u wanna loose weight jst to atteact d opposite abi?...so wat wud d opposite loose to attract u as well or U're like "black material" dat goes wit anytin? u beta calm dwn & appreciate ursef...dere are men dat luv fat or chubby women to d fullest & @23 watz so xciting abt abt dating a 31yr old man who also av d early intention of dualising ur marriage wit him in d nearest future? Ma dear wake up b4 u find ur self perfecting stupidity like a pro 1 Like |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by NemzySeries(m): 3:58am On Dec 26, 2015 |
BlueScholar:stewpidest post eva........y wud shd loose sum weight to please a an dat doesnt value her? & wat wud man also loose or sacrifice 4 her or is she dating herself? 1 Like |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Oche211(m): 4:15am On Dec 26, 2015 |
The first step to true self esteem is to see urself as priceless, a gem nd someone very precious. 4rm ur narrations, d guy does nt value u at all. He's probably around cos of d sex or sometin else. U re just 23 for christ sake nd u re already having d notion dat no one will marry u. Just knw dat u re someone's angel. Being single 4 nw in ur case is far better nd profitable than a life time of misery married to dat guy unless u want to be a full time house wife who doesn't meet his criteria of an ideal woman to b presented 2 d world at social gathering. Cos i see no reason why he has 2 talk abt a second wife whn he hasn't even married u. Quit d relationship nw nd work more on ur self-esteem....very simple. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 7:24am On Dec 26, 2015 |
Oche211: NemzySeries: NemzySeries: Thanks for your advice. And to everyone else who helped even if I didn't quote you. I will try and see if I can get someone else. The truth is that no one is even asking and I want to make sure I have an alternative before leaving him, just to be on the safe side. The funny thing is that he doesn't behave this way around my Family, he is always so polite and charming and respectful so noone will ever understand why I am leaving. They will this I am just making things up. If I had a better relationship prior to meeting him I would not have stayed so long with him. I didn't even have any experience to compare his treatment with if not I may not have let the relationship drag on for so long, I just assumed that maybe this is what other girls experience as well. |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by BlueScholar(m): 8:25am On Dec 26, 2015 |
NemzySeries: Ignorant reply ever, learn how to spell bro. Her loosing weight will help both her (health-wise) and him (attraction). She might be borderline obese..... And since you also lack comprehension you missed the part I told her to take a break from the relationship since he's not that into her. Dumb mofo trying to act like a hero over the net |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by NemzySeries(m): 11:03am On Dec 26, 2015 |
BlueScholar:Baba dunt tell me crap....u were not asking her to slim dwn based on health, u wanted her to dat only to please an attract a fvcker jst like ursef 4getting dat sum men like dem fat |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by misspicy(f): 11:13am On Dec 26, 2015 |
Like really? lady you lack self esteem,you allow a man make you feel bad about yourself? I feel like slapping you no matter how you look,no matter how bad you think you are there is somebody out there wishing to be like you,there is somebody out there that doesn't even have a complete body lady work on your self esteem and confidence you need it. my advice,leave that relationship,don't even upgrade it to marriage,you will regret it,its sure he will marry another wife,and he will make life hell on earth for you my 2cent @sk8er lalasticlala,let this woman get some senses abeg,I can't shout |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by BlueScholar(m): 11:37am On Dec 26, 2015 |
NemzySeries: Did you even read my first post? Anyways seems like your advice holds more weight than mine, I hope she use yours  |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by Nobody: 12:56pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
misspicy:No need for insults now. . . . |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by misspicy(f): 1:14pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
sk8er:sorry if you feel insulted,i am just pained you allow a man treat you like a second fiddle because of baseless fears i'd advice you to change your mindset,discard people that makes you feel bad about your body,love yourself,go out more marriage is not the end of the world,work on yourself,open up,let a better man see you,you deserve the best,you are a woman naw kai,as i read your post,i feel pained i swear,sorry  btw i think am crying more than the bereaved |
| Re: Am Sick Of It. by NemzySeries(m): 9:23pm On Dec 26, 2015 |
BlueScholar:U're unbelievable |
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