It's alarming the way Relationships and Marriages brake today among people not only in Nigeria, but the world at large.
Loving couples understand what it takes to endure. When it comes to creating successful relationships, you need certain critical traits in place. Traits not just merely "present," but existing in a real and genuine way that emanates from each partner through their own want (not because someone is complaining). The moment "give and take" becomes forced, resentment and disconnection surface
and your relationship suffers. To create a successful relationship that truly lasts, after the prayers and fastings etc, here's what i think every couple truly needs because God Himself says in His word ''...My people are destroyed/perish for the lack of knowledge. And they say knowledge is Light/Power
They are:
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1. Acceptance:
Too many people talk about tolerance, but great couples don't "tolerate" each other's quirks and differences — they accept them. They celebrate their similarities AND their unique differences. They recognize that if you can find someone who addresses 60 percent of your wants and needs, you're truly lucky/ blessed. Acceptance makes you and your partner both feel safe to share your true selves. You don't fear judgment, because you aren't being judged. advertisement
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2. Honesty and Trust:
Being honest is mostly an individual decision, based on self-worth, self-confidence, and knowing you/your actions are accepted - even with flaws and mistakes. Trust follows when each person has undeniable faith that they can believe the other person - unequivocally.
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3. Respect:
Many people confuse attention with respect. Attention is great, and it shows love, desire, connection, and passion. Respect is a deeper level of connection, where you value the person at an innate level, without the promise of reciprocation.
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4. Loyalty:
In today's temporary relationship-driven society, loyaltyhas largely turned situational - meaning that many people have only become as loyal as their current wants, needs, desires, and opportunities. With acceptance, honesty, trust and respect in place, loyalty is largely automatic. If your partner feels attracted to someone else, experiences a level of disconnection, or has a change of heart - it is discussed—openly and honestly.
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5. Staying Present:
Technology is ever- present in our world - and it transfers to our relationships. Mobile devices, social media, and technology overall makes it easy to mentally check out from where you are and who you're with physically. Successful couples recognize that technology is a tool for their individual and joint use, but it doesn't disconnect them from their relationship.

Booked!

6. Affection and Passion:
Everyone wants to feel loved, and sustaining physical connection is a big part of that. Whether together two months or 20 years, the little things like holding hands, shoulder touches, and sitting together make a very big difference. A healthy sex life is the extension of that affection, helping you and your partner maintain a connection level that is simultaneously physical, mental, and emotional.
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7. Humor:
Laughter makes everyone smile, feels great, and works like magic to build, maintain, or restore balance (and attraction) in your relationship. Whether it's simply telling a joke, playfully teasing your partner, or enjoying a ridiculous conversation, humor builds a happy connection that transcends any individual or joint stress, and keeps you enjoying each other's company.
8. Effective Disagreements.
Arguments in a relationship are normal. It's how you handle them and repair communication that makes your relationship last. Talking through issues with active listening (meaning: not just waiting to explain your own views, but rather, really listening to their side/experience and then offering empathy - regardless if you agree or not), being patient, and not judging allows both of you to maintain your opinion/views on the matter and still connect with one another. People in long-term relationships often have a choice: Being happy... or being right. Hint: Happy is better!
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9. Privacy:
Today, there is an epidemic of over-sharing, and in relationships, this is often a death sentence. Bottom line: What happens in your relationship isn't for public consumption. It's none of anyone's business. Keeping things between you and your partner and excluding others from your inner-workings — to include kids, parents, friends, and strangers - is of paramount importance.
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10. Maintaining your individuality:
A successful relationship is made up of two individuals. Your partner still has interest in things they like, whether you're interested in them or not. Having your own lives outside the relationship not only contributes to each of you maintaining a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, but also gives you things, accomplishments, and interests to bring back to your relationship and share with your partner.
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11. Support and Sharing:
Paying attention to your partner's activities - as well as sharing your own - keeps couples connected on a day-to-day basis. Lending opinion and insight, or just a compassionate ear when things get tough makes all the difference. When you care about and respect your partner, you want to know what they're doing and how you can help them achieve their goals - even if that meansyou see them less. Being invested in their lives is what contributes to you both people feeling valued.

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12. Consideration and Gratitude
The moment you're no longer grateful for your partner is the moment you start disconnecting, becoming complacent, and/or building resentment. Show consideration to and appreciation for your partner - just for being who they are. They, in turn, will feel grateful as well... and that's a great cycle to be in.

In reviewing these 12 tenets of great and lasting love, one thing becomes crystal clear: It’s the little things that count most. Trips and gifts are great, but it’s the everyday behaviors that count more. Additionally, couples need to realize that a family is not the same as a marriage. Families need time to grow and stay connected, and a marriage is no different … but the marriage is between the
couple, not everyone in the family. A couple that takes time to do the things that made them fall in love in the first place will find themselves connected and happy long after the newness of the relationship has passed. A couple that
thinks marriage is automatic and takes things for granted will likely find
themselves in divorce court.
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Thanks for reading!

I thin every Naija girl should print this and have a copy each

Acceptance goes a long way.





Painful every one goes into a relationship dese days expecting to change d oda



While Mr A is trying to change miss B, Miss B is trying to change Mr A also.



D word adaptation has completely evaporated from relationship thoughts.

Acceptance, support and sharing are the main points.





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While others gist about season movies, we talk about books, educate ourselves and everyone learns from everybody (Thinkerspool). You can also search for THINKERSPOOL on facebook and join league of like-minded individuals, or follow thinkerzpool on twitter (Z and not S)
www.nairaland.com/2818120/creative-whatsapp-group-strictly-readers

Trust is one issue I can't stop having. Trusting people is difficult. I always look for things that makes it look like they are lying. Right now I even think my Oshare is lying about an ex. They are still in full contact. But he has given me her name on fb and asked me to ask her if they are dating. He claimed to have broken up wit her in 2012. But d babe posted a picture of him in february this year as her Boo. And dis is someone that came d old school way to ask my parents for their blessings.

How do u trust such OP in 2016?

Olasco93

@ G0ldcircle, Though trusting humans in general is a difficult task. As humans that we are, there is no one among us who has never broke trust, but as the saying goes ''Na who dem catch be Thief.''
You have to know that you can't build trust in one day and trust is one of the most powerful tools if you want to succeed in your relationship. You shouldn't allow your partner know that you are digging out ways to capture his unfaithfulness because in doing so, it will cause many dissaster such as: he becoming uncomfortable with you, loosing confidence and so on.
.
But below are some few points that can help you build, develop and know how to trust 'some' in your relationship:
1. Better Communication:
Communication is one of the most important factors in building trust
between partners. Spend more time communicating about your problems instead of sitting on brooding. When it comes to communication, do it face to face. Don’t just do it over Whatsapp, Facebook or phone calls etc, but instead, make it more personal and direct. Do not hold back when faced with relationship issues. When you have something to tell your partner, make sure you do it. Open communication in relationships opens the pathways for trust to develop on.
.
2. Have Some Empathy:
Empathy is different to sympathy. It is one of the most important aspects when
it comes to building trust in your
relationships. Have some empathy and try to understand where your partner is
coming from. Determine if the needs of
your partner are being met and try to put
yourself in their shoes. Building a
relationship is a leap of faith and it is therefore important to approach issues in
the relationship from the perspective of
understanding. When you can empathize
with your partner, it will be possible for
you to build the emotional connections
which will lead to increased trust in the relationship.
.
3. Foster some Growth in the Relationship:
Growth is an important factor which
powers trust in the relationship. Stagnant
relationships often gravitate quickly into
situations of mistrust. By creating various
scenarios and situations in your relationship where you can do new things and create new memories together, it
will not only give you more to talk about
but it will be easier for you to predict the
behavior of your partner thus develop more trust. Try something new, go camping or simply embark on something that is outside your comfort zone. Don’t hold back on doing something that will inspire, encourage development or inflame your love and trust for each other, be it in public, outside or even inside the room.
.
4. Don’t Stress when the Boundaries of the Relationship are Tested:
This is really crucial in building trust in the relationship. You cannot expect it to be smooth-sailing all the way. Without going through all those rocky terrains, it will be impossible to see how much strain the relationship can sustain before you reach your breaking point. That isn’t to say that you should go out of your way to create jealously just to see how your partner might react, just be aware that every relationship comes with its ups and
downs, and that its totally natural. In
many cases, a relationship will meander
through a rocky path at some point, due
to circumstances beyond your control. Life will create hard choices for you personally that will test your tolerance levels. These situations are great for gauging one another and will lead to a greater sense of understanding.
.
5. Do Not Keep Secrets:
Trust needs openness. If you are planning
on building a trusting relationship, you
must plan not to keep secrets and be open from the get-go with your partner.
Secrets erode relationships extremely
fast, so it’s important to be honest and upfront about issues that arise together
or individually. The best way to internalize these qualities is by assuming
that all the “secrets” that you know will
eventually come out. Keeping a secret
also requires energy to keep it. When you keep secrets, you are simply overburdening yourself, which will become apparent to your partner very
quickly. Learn to Say No You don’t have to say yes to everything your partner proposes. If you do not like something, simply say no. When you refuse to be subjugated and create a relationship based on equality, it will be easier for both of you, going forward. Don’t pander to the whim of your partner just to keep him/her happy, as it will set a precedent that will be a nightmare to maintain.

Olasco93:
@ G0ldcircle, Though trusting humans in general is a difficult task. As humans that we are, there is no one among us who has never broke trust, but as the saying goes ''Na who dem catch be Thief.''
You have to know that you can't build trust in one day and trust is one of the most powerful tools if you want to succeed in your relationship. You shouldn't allow your partner know that you are digging out ways to capture his unfaithfulness because in doing so, it will cause many dissaster such as: he becoming uncomfortable with you, loosing confidence and so on.
.
But below are some few points that can help you build, develop and know how to trust 'some' in your relationship:
1. Better Communication:
Communication is one of the most important factors in building trust
between partners. Spend more time communicating about your problems instead of sitting on brooding. When it comes to communication, do it face to face. Don’t just do it over Whatsapp, Facebook or phone calls etc, but instead, make it more personal and direct. Do not hold back when faced with relationship issues. When you have something to tell your partner, make sure you do it. Open communication in relationships opens the pathways for trust to develop on.
.
2. Have Some Empathy:
Empathy is different to sympathy. It is one of the most important aspects when
it comes to building trust in your
relationships. Have some empathy and try to understand where your partner is
coming from. Determine if the needs of
your partner are being met and try to put
yourself in their shoes. Building a
relationship is a leap of faith and it is therefore important to approach issues in
the relationship from the perspective of
understanding. When you can empathize
with your partner, it will be possible for
you to build the emotional connections
which will lead to increased trust in the relationship.
.
3. Foster some Growth in the Relationship:
Growth is an important factor which
powers trust in the relationship. Stagnant
relationships often gravitate quickly into
situations of mistrust. By creating various
scenarios and situations in your relationship where you can do new things and create new memories together, it
will not only give you more to talk about
but it will be easier for you to predict the
behavior of your partner thus develop more trust. Try something new, go camping or simply embark on something that is outside your comfort zone. Don’t hold back on doing something that will inspire, encourage development or inflame your love and trust for each other, be it in public, outside or even inside the room.
.
4. Don’t Stress when the Boundaries of the Relationship are Tested:
This is really crucial in building trust in the relationship. You cannot expect it to be smooth-sailing all the way. Without going through all those rocky terrains, it will be impossible to see how much strain the relationship can sustain before you reach your breaking point. That isn’t to say that you should go out of your way to create jealously just to see how your partner might react, just be aware that every relationship comes with its ups and
downs, and that its totally natural. In
many cases, a relationship will meander
through a rocky path at some point, due
to circumstances beyond your control. Life will create hard choices for you personally that will test your tolerance levels. These situations are great for gauging one another and will lead to a greater sense of understanding.
.
5. Do Not Keep Secrets:
Trust needs openness. If you are planning
on building a trusting relationship, you
must plan not to keep secrets and be open from the get-go with your partner.
Secrets erode relationships extremely
fast, so it’s important to be honest and upfront about issues that arise together
or individually. The best way to internalize these qualities is by assuming
that all the “secrets” that you know will
eventually come out. Keeping a secret
also requires energy to keep it. When you keep secrets, you are simply overburdening yourself, which will become apparent to your partner very
quickly. Learn to Say No You don’t have to say yes to everything your partner proposes. If you do not like something, simply say no. When you refuse to be subjugated and create a relationship based on equality, it will be easier for both of you, going forward. Don’t pander to the whim of your partner just to keep him/her happy, as it will set a precedent that will be a nightmare to maintain.

Thanks

nice one op but for Nigeria this one na story story

cruzita:
nice one op but for Nigeria this one na story story

Maybe yes to some extent, but it does work for the 'matured-minds'