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Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Tonason: 6:14pm On Jan 03, 2016
My advice is very short and simple use your tongue to count your teeth. Your Obituary is in the pipe line.

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 6:15pm On Jan 03, 2016
And you think divorce is anyway better? No, for the sake of the children have mercy.i am not supporting your wife o, just forgive because of d children. Is not easy being a divorce child, the stigma alone can destroy any child's future.

3 Likes

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 6:18pm On Jan 03, 2016
Mr brother run from this marriage. All these years and you are there dying in silence. Worst part she has the support of her family.Seems like the people commenting are purposely dodging that aspect. Don't think twice anymore, no matter how irresistible no matter how sweet my brother give up and move on. Stop sleeping with her,stop eating her food until she leaves your house. You will die like a rat if you don't act now.
I met my ex while out with my husband and you need to see the way my husband put his foot down,no room for familiarity. You have failed at the initial stage and now don't give room for reconciliation. End this now and send her out. I have brothers and if they end in this your situation I no go gree . Brother mii ma woju !

2 Likes

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Mintayo(m): 6:20pm On Jan 03, 2016
AstuteJ:
I need your candid advice on how to handle the various cases of infidelity against my wife. We have been married for 10 years with kids and I have never had any reason to doubt her until the following incidents began to unfold;

1. Sometimes in 2012, I took her to the market on a Sunday morning. She left her phone inside the car while she went into the market. A message dropped and I picked her phone to check, what I saw was a joystick sent by one of her BBM contacts. I dropped the phone aand pretended I dint see anything. When she came back, she checked the phone, saw the picture, deleted it and pretended nothing happened.

I waited for like 5hours to be sure she wasn't going to talk about it before bringing it up. She claimed it was sent in error and went ahead to call the guy to register her displeasure. I believed her and laid the matter to rest.

2. About six months later, I was out of the country. She called about 6pm that she needed to drop some items for a client at City Mall, little did I know she went to meet a man at Swe bar. I got back some days later and noticed she was all over her phone chatting and smiling while I was talking to her. I took the phone from her to see whom she was chatting it. All the previous chats had been deleted and I continued chatting with the guy. I could not flow well because the guy was coding and suspected he wasn't chatting with the right person.

I went through her phone for any prior message between them and I saw an SMS she sent to him at about 11:45pm the day she went to City Mall; "I just got home, please call if you can"! I did further findings before she confessed she went to meet with the guy at Swe bar and had to call to lis to me in case she runs into one of my friends. She claimed the guy is an old friend and had issues in his marriage, so she turned a marriage counsellor overnight to go solve the issues.

3. While I was still with her phone, the guy that sent his joystick pinged and I started chatting with him. The guy went very romantic and I cautioned him not to put me in trouble like he did when he sent an unsolicited pix of his joystick. The guy went "Ah Stella, but you asked me to send it na, have you forgotten? That you even sent me a pix of your laps taken in a dark room when I asked for yours"! I was speechless! He went "and you said you told your hubby it was sent in error and he believed you". I confronted my wife with all these and she still had some "stories" to tell.

4. We were at her Mum's place two years ago and she got a call, she told the fellow to come see her there. Her ex came in some minutes later to the warm embrace of the mum. We greeted and he wasted no time to settle in and joined the discussion on ground. The last time I saw him was before we got married and she claimed they never dated. The guy talked about his wife, how poor she is in home keeping, in the kitchen. on bed etc. My wife cut in "and this lady is supposed to be enjoying Andy o, cos I remember Andy knows how to take care of a woman, each time he came visiting in the university days, he always came with bags full of goodies". She even suggested seeing the woman to advise her and the guy said "no you are not in the best position to do that, you know she is not too comfortable with you".

All these happened right in the presence of my mother in law and I kept my calm all through. We left there after the show of shame and I warned her to cut all communications with the guy.

5. Few weeks later, same guy came to our church to worship. After the service wifey told me his kids would like to follow us home to meet our kids; I did not respond. Her mum and aunt was also in the church same Sunday and I drove them and my wife straight to my house. The guy drove behind. We got home, wifey went to the kitchen to cook, her mum and aunt settled in to a good gist with this guy in my own very living room. I picked my keys and left the house for them. I returned late in the night when they had all left and you can guess what happened afterwards.

6. I was with her phone few weeks later and another ex bumped in. "My baby, how are you doing, I have missed you bla bla bla". He requested they meet somewhere on the mainland two days later! After taking a second look at the unsaved number, I remembered the number had sent her an SMS; "can I call you now" about twice in the past. the second time I saw the SMS, I called the number with her phone but the guy refused to pick all thru the day!

7. Last Christmas dat, she gave me her phone to check something on her whatsapp and a chat came in from a guy I have been monitoring his number for a while. The excerpt of the chat is below (I took over the chat from the line he asked for her pix).

5/12/2015, 7:51 am - sy: May d joy of Xmas be for u and ur family IJN
25/12/2015, 7:52 am - sy: Enjoy ur day
25/12/2015, 11:08 am - Jimmyeatery: snap i wanna see yur Sexy look
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: I hope youre alone
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Lol
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Yes
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM alone here too
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - sy: That's good
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM deleting it immediately
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Where is the one you have
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme snap
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:14 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Pls delete it quickly
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Nice
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Why should I delete it
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Tnx
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: Someone can misplaced phone
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - sy: That's true
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: I dont want yur man to one across it as well
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: To be on safe side
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: I wanna see u babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: You have my pix already now
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme see yur Sexy body babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Nope
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Very not seen it
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Is it even new to you
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - syt: OK o
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Till we see again
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Ive not
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - sy: Why are you in a hurry
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Dont be shy dear
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: IM just lonely here
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: Soo lonely
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - syt: What about your wife
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London with my kids
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: Good
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: I av 1% left
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: What?
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme see you
25/12/2015, 11:22 am - syt: You will see me when I change my dp
25/12/2015, 11:23 am - syt: You there?
25/12/2015, 11:43 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0009.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:45 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0008.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: My ba3 low N phone went off
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: Im using my laptop to charge now
25/12/2015, 11:46 am - syt: OK Sir
25/12/2015, 11:47 am - sy: Was wondering why you kept quiet
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - sy: Can't talk please
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: I tot u said youre alone before
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: My kids are here now
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme know wen youre free to talk
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Oook
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: Let's chat, say whatever you wanna say here
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - syt: My hubby is out
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Are u Sure?
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: 😃
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: Yeah
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme be sure if youre d right person IM chatting with................

Please advise me in how to handle all these.......

Thank you.
Have you really talked with your wife? Like discuss this with her?
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Sharmeenator(m): 6:21pm On Jan 03, 2016
Jimmeatery has been fuccking your wife niggar! undecided

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Bernardinho10(m): 6:21pm On Jan 03, 2016
Mr Atsute, its very unfortunate angry this is happening to you.. A mrriage with kids and comfort shld not be this sad... In truth she really is cheating on you.. And if it where me, I would confront her seriously on it and threathen to throw her out if it continues, then I let her mum know what's going on even if it appears she knows about it.. Then I watch closely like you have always done for a full proof which you quite already have buh just more... Then I'd have no other option than say goodbye.. I hate it when one cheats in marriage.. Jah Bless...
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by eniwhy: 6:24pm On Jan 03, 2016
This is terrible!!!!!
AstuteJ:
I need your candid advice on how to handle the various cases of infidelity against my wife. We have been married for 10 years with kids and I have never had any reason to doubt her until the following incidents began to unfold;

1. Sometimes in 2012, I took her to the market on a Sunday morning. She left her phone inside the car while she went into the market. A message dropped and I picked her phone to check, what I saw was a joystick sent by one of her BBM contacts. I dropped the phone aand pretended I dint see anything. When she came back, she checked the phone, saw the picture, deleted it and pretended nothing happened.

I waited for like 5hours to be sure she wasn't going to talk about it before bringing it up. She claimed it was sent in error and went ahead to call the guy to register her displeasure. I believed her and laid the matter to rest.

2. About six months later, I was out of the country. She called about 6pm that she needed to drop some items for a client at City Mall, little did I know she went to meet a man at Swe bar. I got back some days later and noticed she was all over her phone chatting and smiling while I was talking to her. I took the phone from her to see whom she was chatting it. All the previous chats had been deleted and I continued chatting with the guy. I could not flow well because the guy was coding and suspected he wasn't chatting with the right person.

I went through her phone for any prior message between them and I saw an SMS she sent to him at about 11:45pm the day she went to City Mall; "I just got home, please call if you can"! I did further findings before she confessed she went to meet with the guy at Swe bar and had to call to lis to me in case she runs into one of my friends. She claimed the guy is an old friend and had issues in his marriage, so she turned a marriage counsellor overnight to go solve the issues.

3. While I was still with her phone, the guy that sent his joystick pinged and I started chatting with him. The guy went very romantic and I cautioned him not to put me in trouble like he did when he sent an unsolicited pix of his joystick. The guy went "Ah Stella, but you asked me to send it na, have you forgotten? That you even sent me a pix of your laps taken in a dark room when I asked for yours"! I was speechless! He went "and you said you told your hubby it was sent in error and he believed you". I confronted my wife with all these and she still had some "stories" to tell.

4. We were at her Mum's place two years ago and she got a call, she told the fellow to come see her there. Her ex came in some minutes later to the warm embrace of the mum. We greeted and he wasted no time to settle in and joined the discussion on ground. The last time I saw him was before we got married and she claimed they never dated. The guy talked about his wife, how poor she is in home keeping, in the kitchen. on bed etc. My wife cut in "and this lady is supposed to be enjoying Andy o, cos I remember Andy knows how to take care of a woman, each time he came visiting in the university days, he always came with bags full of goodies". She even suggested seeing the woman to advise her and the guy said "no you are not in the best position to do that, you know she is not too comfortable with you".

All these happened right in the presence of my mother in law and I kept my calm all through. We left there after the show of shame and I warned her to cut all communications with the guy.

5. Few weeks later, same guy came to our church to worship. After the service wifey told me his kids would like to follow us home to meet our kids; I did not respond. Her mum and aunt was also in the church same Sunday and I drove them and my wife straight to my house. The guy drove behind. We got home, wifey went to the kitchen to cook, her mum and aunt settled in to a good gist with this guy in my own very living room. I picked my keys and left the house for them. I returned late in the night when they had all left and you can guess what happened afterwards.

6. I was with her phone few weeks later and another ex bumped in. "My baby, how are you doing, I have missed you bla bla bla". He requested they meet somewhere on the mainland two days later! After taking a second look at the unsaved number, I remembered the number had sent her an SMS; "can I call you now" about twice in the past. the second time I saw the SMS, I called the number with her phone but the guy refused to pick all thru the day!

7. Last Christmas dat, she gave me her phone to check something on her whatsapp and a chat came in from a guy I have been monitoring his number for a while. The excerpt of the chat is below (I took over the chat from the line he asked for her pix).

5/12/2015, 7:51 am - sy: May d joy of Xmas be for u and ur family IJN
25/12/2015, 7:52 am - sy: Enjoy ur day
25/12/2015, 11:08 am - Jimmyeatery: snap i wanna see yur Sexy look
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: I hope youre alone
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Lol
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Yes
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM alone here too
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - sy: That's good
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM deleting it immediately
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Where is the one you have
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme snap
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:14 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Pls delete it quickly
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Nice
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Why should I delete it
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Tnx
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: Someone can misplaced phone
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - sy: That's true
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: I dont want yur man to one across it as well
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: To be on safe side
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: I wanna see u babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: You have my pix already now
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme see yur Sexy body babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Nope
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Very not seen it
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Is it even new to you
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - syt: OK o
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Till we see again
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Ive not
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - sy: Why are you in a hurry
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Dont be shy dear
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: IM just lonely here
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: Soo lonely
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - syt: What about your wife
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London with my kids
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: Good
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: I av 1% left
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: What?
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme see you
25/12/2015, 11:22 am - syt: You will see me when I change my dp
25/12/2015, 11:23 am - syt: You there?
25/12/2015, 11:43 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0009.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:45 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0008.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: My ba3 low N phone went off
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: Im using my laptop to charge now
25/12/2015, 11:46 am - syt: OK Sir
25/12/2015, 11:47 am - sy: Was wondering why you kept quiet
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - sy: Can't talk please
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: I tot u said youre alone before
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: My kids are here now
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme know wen youre free to talk
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Oook
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: Let's chat, say whatever you wanna say here
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - syt: My hubby is out
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Are u Sure?
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: 😃
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: Yeah
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme be sure if youre d right person IM chatting with................

Please advise me in how to handle all these.......

Thank you.
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by sabi99(m): 6:32pm On Jan 03, 2016
Ginaz:
Women sha ( some) they are never satisfy and never will be. Sir, you need solid facts not all this to catch her red handed. She can deny this cos its not convincing enough. Catch her like the way a rat is caught in a trap and boot her cheating ass out of your home. Cos she will kill you one day if not now. Some WOmen are just too evil, can you imagine? angry
u will make a good wife
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Phobia1: 6:36pm On Jan 03, 2016
picture of d dickpic or adonbilivit....
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 6:36pm On Jan 03, 2016
Put a leash on the bitchh. Take charge like a man.

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by dennisworld1(m): 6:40pm On Jan 03, 2016
very easy to settle. 4get abt any sexual activities with her. Stop eating her food. Do as if she doesnt exist in the house. U love her so much thats why this activities are going. I bet u she will beg u for forgiveness.

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 6:40pm On Jan 03, 2016
Almost all day guys here are shouting *file for divorce* while most of them are cheating on their wives... bunches of hypocritical fools angry angry angry

8 Likes

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by EmyLeo(m): 6:42pm On Jan 03, 2016
mentorandfriend:
Well, I'll advise you to first deal with your self esteem first. A very healthy self esteem is a must have for any family man. It protects your wife and children, gives them a sense of security, and makes the wife know in advance that you can't tolerate nonsense when it calls. Every man who wants to build a successful home must not just draw respect from his wife, but some element of fear as well. A healthy self esteem that shows you're in control does it all.

Instance, the day her ex had audacity to come to gist her up in your presence and that of your mother in law was the day you should have risen to the occasion, man the discussion, tell the guy to go home and get his acts right and keep his home rather than running to your lawfully wedded wife each time he has issues at home. Wax ecclesiastical, like a preacher, and never let him boss the discussion. Spare your wife in the public discussion but let her and your mother in law know afterwards that you're not nice, and you won't tolerate the shit of seeing an ex show up again in your alone moments with family.

Write this somewhere and remember it as long as you live: LIFE NEVER FAVOURS 'NICE PEOPLE' . They bring nothing else to the table except niceness.

May be one of these days, I'd do a thread on Authentic Manhood, a fallout of things I learnt last year in DLI at DC, and I'll tag you if I remember.
LIFE NEVER FAVOURS 'NICE
PEOPLE' . They bring nothing else to the table
except niceness...#word...hmmm.....
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by otiigba1(m): 6:44pm On Jan 03, 2016
Miami11:
Pray and fast for your wife
Talk to her calmly about the issue
Divorce is a sin
Knee down and ask for forgiveness
Treat her right
Talk to your pastor
Take her for deliverance to mountain of fire closest to you
Try to make her happy,maybe she is bored
Maybe you are not doing enough to please her
what kinda advice is this Rubbish!? You this so called christians with your delusions, his wife clearly did wrong, and you are advicing the man to be nice, pray for her bla bla bla!, not divorce his wife? What kinda cookoo land do you live in? grin

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 6:44pm On Jan 03, 2016
Op, If I were you I would do a bit on d side too and I will make sure She'd known...that's s besr way to curb her....

To be sane...Divorce her after your fling.

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Geekeew(m): 6:55pm On Jan 03, 2016
When issues like this come up, I remember Hosiah in the bible. I'm sure you know who you got married to better than anything we spew here on air.
Now, I would suggest you do one of the two:
1. DIPLOMACY-Confront her with evidences laid bare before her on her infidelity issues and open up to her what damage her attitude would do on the your life and that of your kids. Convince her that you've forgiven her then drown every thought of her unfaithfulness under a new context of love. Chosing this means you're confident enough you can handle this issue not giving it any credibility. You also need to change youur style of operation. Do that with much love. She's your wife and not your side chick. OR
If 1 does not appeal to you, then try
2. WAR- Be MAD! Be MAD!! Be MAD!!! This one doesn't need any calmness but calamity. Scatter the house, unveil your anger and pain. Tell her, show her, threaten her. She should see her marital days going down the drain. Tell her you're gonna deal with that ex coming after your wife. Her mother should also know about her escapades. Don't take it likely with her at all. That period, keep late nights. Do the unusual, make strange calls and make it real. Don't act!!!
The two options are for you to choose. Don't let love delude you in making the right choice.

I devastated in reading this life's episode. I wish you a blissful marriage.

Thank me later!
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Ekaka1(m): 6:57pm On Jan 03, 2016
DuchessLily:
Eyaahh... If all u posted is real, then Sorry bro, u married an Olosho


Well this is what u should do - ... fast and pray for God to change her.. ( as that is d advice given to women when her hubby is doing this kind of rubbish) and again "'stop touching her fone; yes ke! leave her fone alone, so u don't give urself high bp" (advice given to women). no be only women go dey endure this kind rubbish.


Heart-less !!! Haba shocked shocked
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Vikky014(f): 6:59pm On Jan 03, 2016
DuchessLily:
Eyaahh... If all u posted is real, then Sorry bro, u married an Olosho


Well this is what u should do - ... fast and pray for God to change her.. ( as that is d advice given to women when her hubby is doing this kind of rubbish) and again "'stop touching her fone; yes ke! leave her fone alone, so u don't give urself high bp" (advice given to women). no be only women go dey endure this kind rubbish.

OH My Goodness. sis u r very funny oooooo
hahahahahahahahaha. i cant jst stop laughing
to add to it He shld be wearing red boxers and work on his big tummy if any
Toks2008 come and laugh then u Advice OP tongue

2 Likes

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 7:00pm On Jan 03, 2016
Go ye and do likewise...
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Dagoma: 7:01pm On Jan 03, 2016
Wonders shall never end.
One married woman, two service men!

I can`t withstand it!!!

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 7:02pm On Jan 03, 2016
grin grin
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Rhea(f): 7:02pm On Jan 03, 2016
AstuteJ:
I need your candid advice on how to handle the various cases of infidelity against my wife. We have been married for 10 years with kids and I have never had any reason to doubt her until the following incidents began to unfold;

1. Sometimes in 2012, I took her to the market on a Sunday morning. She left her phone inside the car while she went into the market. A message dropped and I picked her phone to check, what I saw was a joystick sent by one of her BBM contacts. I dropped the phone aand pretended I dint see anything. When she came back, she checked the phone, saw the picture, deleted it and pretended nothing happened.

I waited for like 5hours to be sure she wasn't going to talk about it before bringing it up. She claimed it was sent in error and went ahead to call the guy to register her displeasure. I believed her and laid the matter to rest.

2. About six months later, I was out of the country. She called about 6pm that she needed to drop some items for a client at City Mall, little did I know she went to meet a man at Swe bar. I got back some days later and noticed she was all over her phone chatting and smiling while I was talking to her. I took the phone from her to see whom she was chatting it. All the previous chats had been deleted and I continued chatting with the guy. I could not flow well because the guy was coding and suspected he wasn't chatting with the right person.

I went through her phone for any prior message between them and I saw an SMS she sent to him at about 11:45pm the day she went to City Mall; "I just got home, please call if you can"! I did further findings before she confessed she went to meet with the guy at Swe bar and had to call to lis to me in case she runs into one of my friends. She claimed the guy is an old friend and had issues in his marriage, so she turned a marriage counsellor overnight to go solve the issues.

3. While I was still with her phone, the guy that sent his joystick pinged and I started chatting with him. The guy went very romantic and I cautioned him not to put me in trouble like he did when he sent an unsolicited pix of his joystick. The guy went "Ah Stella, but you asked me to send it na, have you forgotten? That you even sent me a pix of your laps taken in a dark room when I asked for yours"! I was speechless! He went "and you said you told your hubby it was sent in error and he believed you". I confronted my wife with all these and she still had some "stories" to tell.

4. We were at her Mum's place two years ago and she got a call, she told the fellow to come see her there. Her ex came in some minutes later to the warm embrace of the mum. We greeted and he wasted no time to settle in and joined the discussion on ground. The last time I saw him was before we got married and she claimed they never dated. The guy talked about his wife, how poor she is in home keeping, in the kitchen. on bed etc. My wife cut in "and this lady is supposed to be enjoying Andy o, cos I remember Andy knows how to take care of a woman, each time he came visiting in the university days, he always came with bags full of goodies". She even suggested seeing the woman to advise her and the guy said "no you are not in the best position to do that, you know she is not too comfortable with you".

All these happened right in the presence of my mother in law and I kept my calm all through. We left there after the show of shame and I warned her to cut all communications with the guy.

5. Few weeks later, same guy came to our church to worship. After the service wifey told me his kids would like to follow us home to meet our kids; I did not respond. Her mum and aunt was also in the church same Sunday and I drove them and my wife straight to my house. The guy drove behind. We got home, wifey went to the kitchen to cook, her mum and aunt settled in to a good gist with this guy in my own very living room. I picked my keys and left the house for them. I returned late in the night when they had all left and you can guess what happened afterwards.

6. I was with her phone few weeks later and another ex bumped in. "My baby, how are you doing, I have missed you bla bla bla". He requested they meet somewhere on the mainland two days later! After taking a second look at the unsaved number, I remembered the number had sent her an SMS; "can I call you now" about twice in the past. the second time I saw the SMS, I called the number with her phone but the guy refused to pick all thru the day!

7. Last Christmas dat, she gave me her phone to check something on her whatsapp and a chat came in from a guy I have been monitoring his number for a while. The excerpt of the chat is below (I took over the chat from the line he asked for her pix).

5/12/2015, 7:51 am - sy: May d joy of Xmas be for u and ur family IJN
25/12/2015, 7:52 am - sy: Enjoy ur day
25/12/2015, 11:08 am - Jimmyeatery: snap i wanna see yur Sexy look
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: I hope youre alone
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Lol
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - sy: Yes
25/12/2015, 11:09 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM alone here too
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - sy: That's good
25/12/2015, 11:10 am - Jimmyeatery: IM deleting it immediately
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Where is the one you have
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme snap
25/12/2015, 11:11 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:14 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0006.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Pls delete it quickly
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Nice
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - sy: Why should I delete it
25/12/2015, 11:15 am - Jimmyeatery: Tnx
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: Someone can misplaced phone
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - sy: That's true
25/12/2015, 11:16 am - Jimmyeatery: I dont want yur man to one across it as well
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: To be on safe side
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - sy: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:17 am - Jimmyeatery: I wanna see u babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: You have my pix already now
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme see yur Sexy body babe
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Nope
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Very not seen it
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Is it even new to you
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - syt: OK o
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - sy: Till we see again
25/12/2015, 11:18 am - Jimmyeatery: Ive not
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Plsssssss
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - sy: Why are you in a hurry
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: Dont be shy dear
25/12/2015, 11:19 am - Jimmyeatery: IM just lonely here
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: Soo lonely
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - syt: What about your wife
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London
25/12/2015, 11:20 am - Jimmyeatery: In London with my kids
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: Good
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: I av 1% left
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - sy: What?
25/12/2015, 11:21 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme see you
25/12/2015, 11:22 am - syt: You will see me when I change my dp
25/12/2015, 11:23 am - syt: You there?
25/12/2015, 11:43 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0009.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:45 am - Jimmyeatery: IMG-20151225-WA0008.jpg (file attached)
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: My ba3 low N phone went off
25/12/2015, 11:44 am - Jimmyeatery: Im using my laptop to charge now
25/12/2015, 11:46 am - syt: OK Sir
25/12/2015, 11:47 am - sy: Was wondering why you kept quiet
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - sy: Can't talk please
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: Ok
25/12/2015, 11:51 am - Jimmyeatery: I tot u said youre alone before
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: My kids are here now
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Lemme know wen youre free to talk
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - Jimmyeatery: Oook
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - sy: Let's chat, say whatever you wanna say here
25/12/2015, 11:52 am - syt: My hubby is out
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Are u Sure?
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: 😃
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - syt: Yeah
25/12/2015, 11:53 am - Jimmyeatery: Snap lemme be sure if youre d right person IM chatting with................

Please advise me in how to handle all these.......

Thank you.

Sorry my brother. Water don pass garri tey tey. You seem to have married a woman who could not handle your absence in the home and thus chose to seek emotional comfort outside the confines of your home. At this juncture, you should be asking yourself some soul searching questions. I assume you have young children, so you may ask yourself if you treasure their happiness and stability. If so, you will have to continue to manage with your wife until they become teenagers, then you can call it quits. Otherwise, file for divorce so she can have more time and liberty to indulge in her new found pasttime.
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by DuchessLily(f): 7:03pm On Jan 03, 2016
Ekaka1:


Heart-less !!! Haba shocked shocked

tongue tongue grin
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by cyprus000: 7:06pm On Jan 03, 2016
GANDALF1:


With you advice on this matter, I can humbly conclude that you are not a good person and you definitely have similar traits to OP's wife.

Gracias
[size=13pt]
Sincerely speaking. I felt irritated by her advice.
That's why I don't take emotional advice from women.


They are way sentimental and myopic in their judgements, when it comes to emotional things
[/size]

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by DuchessLily(f): 7:08pm On Jan 03, 2016
Saddist:
Almost all day guys here are shouting *file for divorce* while most of them are cheating on their wives... bunches of hypocritical fools angry angry angry

Exactly!!! Don't mind them

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Fourwinds: 7:09pm On Jan 03, 2016
Miami11:
Pray and fast for your wife
Talk to her calmly about the issue
Divorce is a sin
Knee down and ask for forgiveness
Treat her right
Talk to your pastor
Take her for deliverance to mountain of fire closest to you
Try to make her happy,maybe she is bored
Maybe you are not doing enough to please her
who told u divorce is a sin entirely...stop being naive. ..

divorce on d ground of infidelity is permitted if u don't know

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by DuchessLily(f): 7:10pm On Jan 03, 2016
Vikky014:
OH My Goodness. sis u r very funny oooooo
hahahahahahahahaha. i cant jst stop laughing
to add to it He shld be wearing red boxers and work on his big tummy if any
Toks2008 come and laugh then u Advice OP tongue

lol cheesy

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by kuro2000(m): 7:12pm On Jan 03, 2016
my brother sometimes when you post for advice specify who should comment, this issue is for mature minds not for infants. OK you love your wife, you don't want to leave her despite all the evidence with you. Wake her up maybe 2.00am and talk to her show her all those proof insist that from what you gather you don't need any other arguement over this issue, that it is clear that she's tired of in its time we both path for good without a fight . Be stearn and resolute give her time to call it quit. This will give her the shoke of her life. She will come berging the you give her conditions for you new marriage .
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by mfm04622: 7:19pm On Jan 03, 2016
What advice? You don't have a wife! You are deceiving yourself if you think you do

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by luvablesam(m): 7:21pm On Jan 03, 2016
chrispratt:



Do you understand sarcasm?

Why are u asking?
Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by mfm04622: 7:24pm On Jan 03, 2016
You want advice? First, go and do DNA test for all your children. Then send her packing!!!!

1 Like

Re: Wife's Infidelity; Please Advise. by Nobody: 7:27pm On Jan 03, 2016
BTT:


You are not man enough. QED.


Sharrap joor

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