Pastor Mike Bamiloye's Tribute to his wife
"MY DEAREST SINGLE SISTERS"
(Tribute to My Wife - Sister Gloria Bamiloye)

Proverbs 31:10-12, 23, 28, 30 NKJV
[10] Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
[11] The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
[12] She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

[23] Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.

[28] Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:
[30] Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.


Yesterday, February 4th, 2015, was my wife's 51st Birthday. And this year would be the 27years since 1988 the year we got married, when she was only 24 years old and I was 28. Since then, we have travelled through the thicks and the thins together, we have climbed the mountains and descended into the valleys together. We have faced adverse physical and spiritual situations together. We have both confronted together, daunting challenges that have stood and those that are still standing against our lives and ministry.

Yesterday, she was 51 and she got phone calls and congratulatory text messages on phone and on Facebook page through out yesterday till late in the night. Our two sons brought her gift - two digitally painted pictures of her early years on film set. And I also bought her a small teddy bear. The several phone calls and congratulatory messages of the birthday made us feel a large crowd of well-wishers had attended our birthday party. Thank you all.


But what is special about this great woman is when I remember how we started and how we have been journeying this journey since then. And when I recall some of the things that happen today among our single and marriagable sisters, I can not but give praises to the Lord God who brought this simple and humble sister my way several years ago.


I have written this story in some of my write-ups and in one of my books, however, there is need to recall some of it for the benefit of some of our single sisters who might need to learn from it. I graduated from higher institution in 1983 and served in 1983/84. Right from the Campus days, I had been involved in drama ministry, all through my Youth Service, I was sending drama scripts back into the fellowship for drama presentations and I would travel down from Plateau State to direct the rehearsals and participate in the major drama presentation on Drama Night.

After my Youth Service in 1984, I was involved fully in campus drama evangelism with the fellowship drama group, travelling to other campuses and churches outside the campus for drama presentation. And Sister Gloria was among the new members that joined the drama group.


In 1985, sometimes in early July, I proposed to her to marry me and she told me she would pray over it. On August 4th, 1985, she revisited my proposal and said "Yes" to it. So, our journey began. Now, the real issue was that, I had nothing. I had nothing physical or material that any lady could be proud of. I had only one single room, with one bed, one table and chair, a standing hanger where I hanged my few fading shirts and only one suit which I used to iron from time to time and red tie from special occassion. Inside the single room was my cooking stove and a dilapidated standing fan, which had lost its foot and the head was tied facing the bed. And of course, a precious item - my bookshelf serving as a small library.


So, when Sister Gloria visited my abode for the first time, these were all I had and she saw. My physical and material possessions could never be compared to what I was on the campus. "Bro Mike" was famous among the fellowship as a "gym-gym" brother full of zeal for drama and drama only. And the drama group of the fellowship became the most influential of all the sub-groups of the fellowship, because almost all the executive officers became members of the sub-group, including the President and the Vice-President and the General Secretary of the Christian Fellowship. So I was so rich in spiritual substance and full of great visons, but had no enviable physical or material possessions any young lady could be proud of.


But, when Sis Gloria entered my room, one afternoon, she never saw all those things I mentioned but only one thing arrested her attention: my bookshelf containing several spiritual books, including the books of Kenneth Hagins, Oral Roberts, T.L. Osborne, Osward J. Smith, etc. She hasten to the shelf and shouted "Whao!", and she sat by the bookshelf and began to look at those precious books she had longed to have and read. Ah!. I was happy I had what she wanted and desired. She wanted spiritual books that would make her grow. And I had just that! All other things never mattered to her.

I had nothing physical, but I had a great vision of the future and she embraced that vision with all her heart and might. When her senior brothers and her parents were demanding from her to know the work that her fiancee was doing that could qualify him to marry her, she stood on my behalf to defend me before her people that I was into drama ministry and there was a great future ahead of us. He people could not see what she was talking about, because I was already on full-time drama ministry and I had no physical enviable thing they all could hold on to. They were furious with her and thought she must be out of her mind to have decided to marry "a man who has no job and no physical possession and no appreciable future". When we informed them we wanted to get married three years down our courtship, they revolted and my Mummy ( my elder sister), led the war to Sis Gloria's parents to warn them never to give their daughter to me in marriage because I had no job to take care of their daughter. She stood by what God had told her about me, that there was a great future ahead of us.

The Lord convinced them all and they supported us and we married in 1988, three years after the Mount Zion ministry launched. And our journey to that future began.


AND 27 YEARS AFTER, WE ARE STILL ON THE JOURNEY TO THE FUTURE.
WE HAVE NOT YET ARRIVED THERE, BUT OUR STORY HAS BEEN GETTING BETTER
THAN WHEN WE BEGAN THIS JOURNEY TOGETHER.

Now, to my Dearest Single Sisters, a lot of us are missing it today. A lot of us have been seriously deceived and misled by erronenous marriage teachings and lectures of confused marriage counsellors and teachers. A woman was once invited to one of our sisters' conference, invited to come and minister to our single sisters. She mounted the pulpit and shocked us by saying, no sisters should marry any brother who is not materially capable of being a husband. She said she also counselled her daughters to be gather as many materials as possible before getting married; that her daughters must go into mariage with enough self-sufficiency. She ought to have got a lot of things like fridge, electronic gadgets, dinning sets and other things that could make her stand tall as a self-sufficient lady. I told my wife, that the woman would never be invited to any of our conferences again. Her teaching was confusing.

I heard some marriage teachers taught their single sisters to check the Bank Account statement of the man who come proposing to them before they consider their proposals. If the Bank Account is very lean, then, they need not bother themselves considering the proposals. Some sisters would go and pay visit to the houses and apartments of the men who proposed to them, before they could begin to consider their proposals.

A young brother who had waited for almost a year before the sister finally said "Yes", later came back to me after almost one year of courtship, to tell me that the lady suddenly began to ask some strange questions about his projections for the future and what he hopes to achieve and possess in a year's time and what he hopes to acquire in two years' time; the amount he hope to have saved for the wedding in two years. And when he told the sister that he was not sure of the amount he could save for the wedding neither does he have any future projection, but he is a minister of God and she could see all the works he has been doing for the Lord and he knows the Lord has a great future for him as he keeps serving Him. This made the sister began to reconsider the relationship. Then, she said later, that she didn't think they were compatible, because she thought he had no future plans.

Meanwhile, such sister would readily believe a lie. If the brother had began to blow an invisible trumpet of himself and began to paint an unrealistic picture of his future for this same sister, she would have believed everything. If the brother had said something like "making a saving that would enable him acquire a jeep in a month to their wedding; and how he would tender a business proposal before an oil company or come up with a business idea that could fetch him some millions, which would afford him an opportunity of purchasing a duplex apartment in Lekki part of Lagos, the sister would readily believe that he had a future plan. She would take him for a very serious-minded marriagable brother.

We have come to a strange generation where lies sell heavily than the truth. We are now in a season when our young sisters believe a man by what they see of him physically or how sweetly he could run his mouth by saying big and boastful plans and not by what they spiritually perceive of him. This is a season when, it is the way you package yourself that many sisters take you, even if the fine shirts and suits with shoes were borrowed to be returned later.
MANY, NOT ALL. MANY OF OUR SISTERS LOVE TO BELEIVE IN LIES TODAY.

Some sisters' choice of who to marry would depend on where the man is working: Bank?, Oil and Gas? Real Estate? Insurance? Constructions? And some sisters' readiness to consider a proposal rests on the family status of the man who proposed: is the family rich and wealthy? Are they based in US or Canada or Germany or Asian nations? Famous and Influential?

Today, a lot of brothers love to live on lies and falsehood, because this is what many sisters want. I once read on the Whatsap page of a young brother in Christ whom I happened to know. He wrote under his name, CEO of a Motivational and Purpose Group company and under this are about two or three website of his Motivational Purpose company. In one of his write-ups, I read where he said: One day, as I was coming from my office, I saw....." When I read that, I wondered which office he was talking about, because, I knew him to be working as a shop attendant or sales man in a shop. I look at the picture he posted in his profile, he dressed up like a Director of a corporate organisation, but he is a sales boy working in a shop. These are the type of lies many of our sisters love to hear before they could consider a proposal.

What does the Bible say about responding to marriage proposals:

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
[5] Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
[6] In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

A christian lady who would have a great future and pleasant home would commit her ways, the proposals into the Lord's hand. I THINK THIS IS THE ACTUAL SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM: MANY SISTERS CAN'T WAIT BEFORE THE LORD TO KNOW THE MIND OF GOD CONCERNING WHO TO MARRY AGAIN.
MANY SISTERS ARE GUIDED INTO MAKING THEIR MARITAL CHOICES BASED ON THE PHYSICAL APPEARANCE OR MATERIAL OR FINANCIAL POSSESSIONS OF THE MAN, AND NOT ON THE LEADING AND CONVICTIONS OF THE LORD THEIR GOD.

If Sis Gloria were to consider my physical, material and financial possessions when I proposed to her, I would have been outrightly disqualified, because I had nothing but the burning visions to evangelise the world through Drama ministry. And if She were to consider my proposal based on my future plans or projections, she would never have considered me, because, I had no financial, material or physical future plan or projections at that time, but was only armed with evangelistic visions of the work of God.

And what are the unpleasant results of all these fake future plans and projections: because no life is secure except the ones hidden in Christ and entrusted in His care. Many of these future plans and projections flopped and they are castles built with sea-sand on a sea-shore, they crumbled fast when the foundation is not laid on the leading of Christ and the home is set on fake foundations and false projections. The banking industry is not what it used to be. The oil and gas industry is no longer like before. Considerations of your response to a proposal should never be based on anything physical or materials, but Godly leading and convictions after a lot of heart-searching prayers and humble waiting upon the Lord to know His heart on the man who proposed.

ONLY THE LORD GOD KNOWS THE FUTURE. THE BROTHER WORKING IN A BANK OR OCUPPYING A MANAGERIAL SEAT TODAY MAY BE DEMOTED BY CIRCUMSTANCES AND NEGATIVE SITUATIONS TOMORROW.
AND THE MAN WHO HAS NOTHING NOW MAY BE ON HIS WAY TO THE TOP VERY SOON.

So, physical or material status should never be paramount in considering marraige proposals, but the voice of the Lord who knows tomorrow. If you desire a peaceful home and fruitful marriage that will afford you the opportunity to be ministerially fulfilled, don't let any physical, material or financial things give you your husband, let the spirit of the Lord lead and convince you of who to marry.

You are blessed,
MIKE BAMILOYE

inspiring

I'm blessed by this tribute!

God bless ur home Pastor and Pastor Mrs Mike Bamiloye!

Wow......... God bless you Sir!

I respect this couple a lot. Lalasticlala please can U take this to front page?

am Blessed by this life changing testimony




** how many of our single ladies can marry men of substance?***

Oh thank God. When I saw tribute I was afraid..thought she was dead.

TV01 came to mind... Only a posh-er and more exposed version of Bamiloye.

Let's leave matter for Mathias , may our aspiring broke & mouthy brothers find the flesh of their flesh who's ready to overlook their over bloated ego and self absorbing characters.

Ko easy rara... I mean dealing with them

Nice one. But i see nothing wrong in a mother teaching her daughters to strive for a certain level of financial independency before thinking of marriage.

My own mother will always tell us" if you can't as a woman bring home 1,000 naira or more , dont even dream of marriage"

i feel like crying ....i love this family.....theses are my mentors. good old days in MZI!!.......dis is really inspiring

Ewuro4:
TV01 came to mind... Only a posh-er and more exposed version of Bamiloye.

Let's leave matter for Mathias , may our aspiring broke & mouthy brothers find the flesh of their flesh who's ready to overlook their over bloated ego and self absorbing characters.

Ko easy rara... I mean dealing with them

I am not one to gainsay anybody' testimony, so I'm wishing them all the best and celebrate a prosperous union with them. That is always a joy to me.

And it must be said, Madam has a simple and elegant beauty that has aged really well. I salute the man for his efforts in cherishing and honouring her.

Having said that, I must be clear that although I have nothing against a woman marrying a man who is "situationally" or "presently" poor, she must have the expectation, demand even, that he is of high character, and has a commitment too, and plan for providing for his family.

I don't believe the message here is one of "just marry regardless". And although it all sounds very romantic, if you read the article "very well" (in my best Naija accent ), you will see where he clearly spoke of having a "vision".

So for me the message to women is/should be, don't focus on present or situational wealth alone, or be taken with with inordinate bragging or "flashing". Be more concerned about Character and commitment.

I could even question the example he gave of a woman changing her mind after a year of courtship and demanding certain answers from her intended, before ending it, when he did not answer to her satisfaction.

A serious man should at all points in a relationship be proactive in - appropriately and a timely manner - articulating what his plans and vision are for his family, starting with his courtship and wedding.

She shouldn't have had to ask. I'm not saying she wasn't wrongly focused, or that he wasn't better off without her, but it shouldn't be due to his "loose game".

I primarily direct my energies towards challenging and exhorting men, but here's one for the ladies. Many women marry, for all the wrong reasons, get frustrated and label men beasts when it all goes wrong.

But even if he is a good guy, being with someone who is wrong can bring out the worst in a man. Let alone if he's not a kosher fellow to begin with. Get it right going in, and you'll have very few worries. All the best as you establish and build your homes.


TV
^{...and I'm nothing like this guy. I didn't employ "jim-jim brother" style or false piety to win mamas heart. I just presented myself, gave her a taster, and asked if she wanted to be courted , Weak-kneed, she agreed, I then got to know her, did my due diligence and outlined my superior value mating proposition. How could she resist? Although I was living in a single room at the time sha}

TV01:

I am not one to gainsay anybody' testimony, so I'm wishing them all the best and celebrate a prosperous union with them. That is always a joy to me.

And it must be said, Madam has a simple and elegant beauty that has aged really well. I salute the man for his efforts in cherishing and honouring her.

Having said that, I must be clear that although I have nothing against a woman marrying a man who is "situationally" or "presently" poor, she must have the expectation, demand even, that he is of high character, and has a commitment too, and plan for providing for his family.

I don't believe the message here is one of "just marry regardless". And although it all sounds very romantic, if you read the article "very well" (in my best Naija accent ), you will see where he clearly spoke of having a "vision".

So for me the message to women is/should be, don't focus on present or situational wealth alone, or be taken with with inordinate bragging or "flashing". Be more concerned about Character and commitment.

I could even question the example he gave of a woman changing her mind after a year of courtship and demanding certain answers from her intended, before ending it, when he did not answer to her satisfaction.

She shouldn't have had to ask. I'm not saying she wasn't wrongly focused, or that he wasn't better off without her, but it shouldn't be due to his "loose game".

I primarily direct my energies towards challenging and exhorting men, but here's one for the ladies. Many women marry, for all the wrong reasons, get frustrated and label men beasts when it all goes wrong.

But even if he is a good guy, being with someone who is wrong can bring out the worst in a man. Let alone if he's not a kosher fellow to begin with. Get it right going in, and you'll have very few worries. All the best as you establish and build your homes.


TV

I agree with this ^^ submission. Totally

You're on point about Character and commitment. In addition, going into relationship without zilch plans and financial security in this day and age is setting oneself for a long term misery. So that part when he told his wife never to invite the guest speaker to their relationship conferences again , beats me. Comparing all relationships to his is somewhat intimidating and not fair to women who for the right reasons- looking out for their future.

Anyway nuff said...

A serious man should at all points in a relationship be proactive in - appropriately and a timely manner - articulating what his plans and vision are for his family, starting with his courtship and wedding

That^ is the koko... I won't implore any right thinking lady to outrightly marry any man in Bamiloye's 1980s status, who has no cogent future plans in line besides Drama.

I didn't read the Vision part... Gotta ask TV , did you a have a vision about Mrs prior to proposal ?

^{...and I'm nothing like this guy. I didn't employ "jim-jim brother" style or false piety to win mamas heart. I just presented myself, gave her a taster, and asked if she wanted to be courted , Weak-kneed, she agreed, I then got to know her, did my due diligence and outlined my superior value mating proposition. How could she resist? Although I was living in a single room at the time sha}

You're nothing like him coz he was poor. You were gainfully employed and your fan head wasn't attached to your double bed. Like I said, posh-er version and more exposed brother (Kirk Franklin-like).

There goes the bravado again... which one is 'Jim-Jim brother style'.... Before nko. Superior value mating proposition? Hahah enu ni bi ajakara. Weak kneed kor.

How many ripe UK babe way them eye don tear pass ear, go marry a dude living in a single room?

By the way did you share a flat then or a bachelors suite?

*****
As you rightly observed , Madam is an epitome of beauty and elegance. I wish them well and use their marriage success as a point of contact to mine.

I don't know if they still make movies. But they made GREAT movies back in the days. They are also good actors. Very good.

Watched movies like: The gods are dead, Once upon a time, Perilous Times, Back to Zero Point, Apoti Eri, Isawuru, amongst others. Some of the scenes are still fresh in my memory. Glory days!

They did real good stuffs. God bless them.

Ewuro4:
You're on point about Character and commitment. In addition, going into relationship without zilch plans and financial security in this day and age is setting oneself for a long term misery. So that part when he told his wife never to invite the guest speaker to their relationship conferences again , beats me. Comparing all relationships to his is somewhat intimidating and not fair to women who for the right reasons- looking out for their future.

I re-read that and agree. I also wonder at his claiming he had "no appreciable future"? I wouldn't advise a woman to marry such a one. Even if not for herself, she has to be cognisant of the welfare of any children they may have.

Ewuro4:
That^ is the koko... I won't implore any right thinking lady to outrightly marry any man in Bamiloye's 1980s status, who has no cogent future plans in line besides Drama.

Yeah, like I said, don't want to gainsay his testimony, but it does in some ways sound like a mixed message and, could potentially confuse or mislead. Plus, I don't agree with a vision that sees career or security in ministry, I personally don't believe ministry should be a career or source of wealth. In fact, the whole Pastor led type of ministry is something I'm strongly against, and one of the few things I've opened a thread about. Long/short, they've hada good union, I'm happy to celebrate that.

Ewuro4:
I didn't read the Vision part... Gotta ask TV , did you a have a vision about Mrs prior to proposal ?

Not about her per se, but about the kind of woman I wanted as a wife - qualities and attributes. Otherwise one can obsess. My WTB did not have a name, so when it didn't work with Chi, I could easily move on, when Hauwa turned out to be wrong, nothing spoil.

I always knew my own was waiting, and every close or near miss just strengthened my resolve, and belief that it was because God had something better for me ahead. I have no reason to look back and think "oh maybe Tola would have been better, or Jiru was more suited.

Ewuro4:
You're nothing like him coz he was poor. You were gainfully employed and your fan head wasn't attached to your double bed. Like I said, posh-er version and more exposed brother (Kirk Franklin-like).

Fair I suppose. I wasn't exactly poor, but my "apparent circumstances", gave no real indication of my true status. And please, Kirk Franklin is an even worse comparisiont .

Ewuro4:
There goes the bravado again... which one is 'Jim-Jim brother style'.... Before nko. Superior value mating proposition? Hahah enu ni bi ajakara. Weak kneed kor.

Ewuro4:
How many ripe UK babe way them eye don tear pass ear, go marry a dude living in a single room?
By the way did you share a flat then or a bachelors suite?

You are right to a degree sha. I met one who kept telling me how many properties her dad had at my age, and how she couldn't show me to her family with nothing and living in a room. Someone without anything of her own or even stay !

As for Mama, I'd gotten to know her a little before she visited - although I made sure I visited her very early on, as per due dilifence na - and she scored points by cooking .

I think both those descriptions are too posh. Basically I rented a single room in a dingy two bed flat - where the living room was also used as a bedroom. It was with two other guys - Africans - who I'm not sure were even legal sef.


TV
^{...although all details remain 100% accurate, some names may have been changed in the telling of this story}