Hey guys,I just need advice on how to go about things,have been dating this guy for like one year now,he's a very good guy,he respects me so much and treats me like a lady,I really do care about him.He tries his best to help me financially even though he's not that wealthy.In the one year we have been dating,he calls me at least twice everyday except when he's busy.Recently he's been faced with so many problems particularly family problem.He's not married but he has a son out of wedlock.The child has been in the hospital and would be there for the next three month due to surgery he has to undergo.That has really weighed him down.
Since the problems started,he has lessened communication with me,he doesn't call me like he used but I never nagged him about it.Some days back he called me out of his own will that if I noticed he has changed its not intentional and he was begging me that I should be understanding and of course am very understanding and try my best to support him with inspiring messages and quotes.The issue now is,it's getting a bit tiring because this days when I call him,he won't pick or return my calls,when I send watsapp messages he reads and doesn't reply.Its getting a bit tiring am a very proud person and sometimes I just want to ignore and not bother to call again or send messages but then again I remember how good this guy has been to me,how he has been there for me in my time of need,due to that I still try to call and send messages but no reply,its like he's gone into a Shell.The guy is a cancer and you know what they always say about cancer men being moody and withdrawing into their world when they have problems.Am tempted to give him space to sort himself and his problems out but then I feel I would seem like a wicked and uncaring girlfriend who ignored her boyfriend when the chips was down.Please how do I deal with this kind of man who shuts the world out when he has problems.

The important factor here is that you give the guy space.  The worst thing you can do is try to bring up heavy negative emotional topics as something to talk about with him… that’s a very quick way to shut him down and trigger his walls.  The key is to give him space… step back, leave the issue completely alone, and if he wants to discuss it he’ll come to you with it. You can’t force these things.

Another point on that… I want to make clear that it’s not because he’s emotionally available or guarded. It’s because he’s a guy. Guys don’t like to dive into talking about negative emotions… especially if they think the person they’re talking to is going to have some kind of emotional reaction to what they’re saying.  Guys generally avoid emotional conversations at all costs – in fact, a lot of guys would rather be single and alone than have to deal with emotional conversations.

So to make the first major answer explicitly clear: do not talk to him about what you perceive to be his issues, emotional baggage,etc...  Leave it alone.  Bringing it up won’t help anything… it will just be you creating a problem when there didn’t need to be and you’ll regret it..

rinora:
Hey guys,I just need advice on how to go about things,have been dating this guy for like one year now,he's a very good guy,he respects me so much and treats me like a lady,I really do care about him.He tries his best to help me financially even though he's not that wealthy.In the one year we have been dating,he calls me at least twice everyday except when he's busy.Recently he's been faced with so many problems particularly family problem.He's not married but he has a son out of wedlock.The child has been in the hospital and would be there for the next three month due to surgery he has to undergo.That has really weighed him down.
Since the problems started,he has lessened communication with me,he doesn't call me like he used but I never nagged him about it.Some days back he called me out of his own will that if I noticed he has changed its not intentional and he was begging me that I should be understanding and of course am very understanding and try my best to support him with inspiring messages and quotes.The issue now is,it's getting a bit tiring because this days when I call him,he won't pick or return my calls,when I send watsapp messages he reads and doesn't reply.Its getting a bit tiring am a very proud person and sometimes I just want to ignore and not bother to call again or send messages but then again I remember how good this guy has been to me,how he has been there for me in my time of need,due to that I still try to call and send messages but no reply,its like he's gone into a Shell.The guy is a cancer and you know what they always say about cancer men being moody and withdrawing into their world when they have problems.Am tempted to give him space to sort himself and his problems out but then I feel I would seem like a wicked and uncaring girlfriend who ignored her boyfriend when the chips was down.Please how do I deal with this kind of man who shuts the world out when he has problems.

Very proud, when someones is going thru tough time in his life, Imagine. Someone's future wife. Smh for that man that will marry you.

Meet him eye to eye and take things out... Its as simple as that. If he's acting funny maybe his baby mama is back or another girls has given him 360 or he's having a long mood swing

Sugarhugs:



Very proud, when someones is going thru tough time in his life, Imagine. Someone's future wife. Smh for that man that will marry you.

Common,when I say very proud,I don't mean it literarilly,proud in the sense that I don't like to bug a guy with too many phone calls.Am a very down to earth person

rinora:




Common,when I say very proud,I don't mean it literarilly,proud in the sense that I don't like to bug a guy with too many phone calls.Am a very down to earth person

Sugarhugs:

Very proud, when someones is going thru tough time in his life, Imagine. Someone's future wife. Smh for that man that will marry you.

Oya you two should stop fighting... Efira yin sile

I think you need to give him more time

I suck at giving advices

Op u should know dat u are a second wife in the family cos his priority of interest is on how his little boy can get well soon, so why bother yourself calling nd sending sms......so I can supposedly say that if u can manage with the condition at hand, it s okay but if no' then go away expecting to get your own man soon

rinora:
Hey guys,I just need advice on how to go about things,have been dating this guy for like one year now,he's a very good guy,he respects me so much and treats me like a lady,I really do care about him.He tries his best to help me financially even though he's not that wealthy.In the one year we have been dating,he calls me at least twice everyday except when he's busy.Recently he's been faced with so many problems particularly family problem.He's not married but he has a son out of wedlock.The child has been in the hospital and would be there for the next three month due to surgery he has to undergo.That has really weighed him down.
Since the problems started,he has lessened communication with me,he doesn't call me like he used but I never nagged him about it.Some days back he called me out of his own will that if I noticed he has changed its not intentional and he was begging me that I should be understanding and of course am very understanding and try my best to support him with inspiring messages and quotes.The issue now is,it's getting a bit tiring because this days when I call him,he won't pick or return my calls,when I send watsapp messages he reads and doesn't reply.Its getting a bit tiring am a very proud person and sometimes I just want to ignore and not bother to call again or send messages but then again I remember how good this guy has been to me,how he has been there for me in my time of need,due to that I still try to call and send messages but no reply,its like he's gone into a Shell.The guy is a cancer and you know what they always say about cancer men being moody and withdrawing into their world when they have problems.Am tempted to give him space to sort himself and his problems out but then I feel I would seem like a wicked and uncaring girlfriend who ignored her boyfriend when the chips was down.Please how do I deal with this kind of man who shuts the world out when he has problems.

@bolded -you get long way to go both in relationship and in life. That's d reason u don't knw d right thing to do.

If he called u 2ce daily for a year, I don't think calling him 5ce a week for 3months is too much. If he doesn't pick, go to his residence or d hospital where u knw he is and let someone knw u came to look for him if he's not around. Do that then ure vindicated. U just showed the clear difference btwn a giver and recipient of love.

Rinora dear, believe me when I say this: this is the time he needs u most ok
So just be there for him, you know..you don't need to proffer solutions. Just be a shoulder he can lean on. Pat him on the back, soothe his pains, listen to him..
He needs someone who understands him, someone to share the burden with..be that person!
& above all pray for him too. Good luck

cosby02:

Oya you two should stop fighting... Efira yin sile

Lol...

op give him time and instead of whatsapp messages send him get well text messages.