When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. - Romance - Nairaland
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| When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 8:08pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. Am affair that lacks effective communication is a deaf and dumb affair. Do you know that communication is the only prerequisite for any long lasting union? YES after you have established a romantic affair,the next stage is getting to understand each other which can only be achieved through effective communication and not mind-reading.With good communication, you will know in a timely manner if you can tolerate each other. Every break in any form of union starts with a break down of communication. And worst still, delayed communication. This is the case with many union today, we tend to stomach issues that would have been discussed and trashed out. There is no small or big issue, all issues must be treated with urgency. Don't be lackadaisical in expressing your resentments but communicate your pains sternly. The worst part of it is that most of the time, the other party does not even have a clue if you are hurting so while you keep building up resentments, he/she will help you to add more until it becomes so big that before you say Jack, the union is broken beyond repair.And it gets even stranger when some people will rather prefer to discuss their partner's flaws with friends and would go on and on about what they hate in that person when that partner does not even have a clue of those faults It could be an issue as trivial as the way your partner uses water, toothpaste,eating habit,relates with people, uses groceries in the house,the snoring habit, dress sense,abusive words,talkativeness or as serious as drunkenness, smoking,addiction of any kind,philandering and so on. Even in sexual matters, you may like to be touched in a certain manner, made love to in a certain way,it may be a body odor from your partner or mouth odor.If he does not last long in bed please tell him to do something about it because you don't want to go out. If she is not good in bed tell her or teach her how you want it. It can be anything and i mean anything at all. Don't shelve it, don't ignore that issue,TRASH IT OUT IMMEDIATELY and i mean real trashing in a serious but humble and loving manner. If you allow that resentment to go undisclosed, you can be sure to have more and more every passing day until it becomes a great wall of permanent divide and when you stomach issues,it can accumulate so much that it may cause you to overeact which may lead to terrible consequence.. Don't be scared in discussing issues with your spouse because if you are afraid of doing this then i guess you should as well opt for a break because i don't see that union getting better. And if you are the type of man who is so bossy that you think women have no say then you are indeed a beast who deserves to be living alone in the jungle. It is no longer news that tolerance is vital in any union we find ourselves because there is no perfect man or woman but nevertheless, we can always adjust and be the best we can for our partners if only we know the area that needs adjustment which can only be known by us if the other party opens up. Lets learn to be communicative in a constructive and humane manner and we will realize how powerful this can be. Hope this helps. 50 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Cutehector(m): 8:11pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
chei me Dat likes to keep things to myself sometimes.  I wish she could change me 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by YorubaWoman: 8:15pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
kosi laburu  6 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Smellymouth: 8:17pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
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| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by missingrib(f): 8:27pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
that's just the truth.in every relationship communication matters a lot..I remember back in my uni days there was this friend of mine she was telling me that it have been almost a week her bf called her last,,chai I was like u sure you guys are really dating and she said she is hundred percent sure about it..relationship shouldn't lack communication because that is the bed rock of all good relationship... 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by foriz4u(m): 8:33pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
YorubaWoman:very true. most women want their hubby to be a kind of teleporting angel who reads mind and even raise to every single tin slight issues bordering them before they even speak out. and they seems to mistake to a casing and sensitive man. but they don't no that men r not super human but mere being just like they are. the annoying kind of women r those u will ask a million times "honey what is d problem", no matter how convinced u r that sth worries her she will still smile adamantly claiming nothing is wrong. I hate women wit such habit en? 15 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by YorubaWoman: 8:55pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
foriz4u:Well, am one of those women that something worries but still smile always saying 'nothing'. But my man is a psyche and very understanding, he makes sure there is effective communication in between us.My superman 4 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 9:01pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
foriz4u: If i ask you what the problem is for the first time and you say nothing..i will pet you and ask for the second time but if you still insinst there is nothing then that is it. 7 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by foriz4u(m): 9:05pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Toks2008:lol... u go hash o. but she goes on with dat muddy face over u giving u d impression sth is wrong. how will u deal wit such I frustrating situation? 1 Like |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by dollyjoy(f): 9:10pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Nice writeup op. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by foriz4u(m): 9:10pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
YorubaWoman:I never intend quoting u o I was surprised at it. probably god is sending d gospel to u because u could be heading d wrong way. APC? CHANGE! 1 Like |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Olusanya333(m): 9:10pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
And that is why singleness is the answer. Imagine I doing all these. I dey mad? 1 Like |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 9:37pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
foriz4u: Na to troway face. 2 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by cruzita(f): 9:40pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
me wey no dey look person face how I wan take pacify person. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by HiggsBoson(m): 9:49pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
I think contentment and perseverance holds the key to a long lasting relationship. Not just effective communication. 1 Like |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by HiggsBoson(m): 9:51pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
cruzita:You go look my face now. Make we try am together baa? |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 9:52pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Higgson: True but at least you need to know who you want to be contented with. 2 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Omotayor123(f): 10:02pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Agreed. Communication is the key 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 11:41pm On Feb 09, 2016 |
Omotayor123:Yes it is. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Sunnypar(m): 12:05am On Feb 10, 2016 |
Yes, communication. Toks28, are you married? |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Vikky014(f): 7:10pm On Feb 10, 2016 |
Toks2008:good piece but why will you ask her just twice and stop  r u really sure of wht u r sayingbc to me u are not practising this write up if u will stp asking her after twice.....If ur wife is my type eh.....u go cry for 1 week |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Nobody: 7:25pm On Feb 10, 2016 |
I think there is such a thing as 'over communicating'. It leaves nothing to mystery. A little mystery is good for a relationship. Truth is: not everything needs to be communicated--and definitely not verbally. Much can be said non-verbally as well. Not everything needs to be verbalized. Hold back some. I think the challenge is in discerning when to speak and when to hold it. 3 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 10:55am On Feb 11, 2016 |
Vikky014: Not practising wettin? I for dey cry beg am. 2 Likes |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 11:09am On Feb 11, 2016 |
Xiadnat: When it comes to grieviances,communication is sacrosanct. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 11:27pm On Feb 11, 2016 |
Sunnypar: NO |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 11:41pm On Feb 11, 2016 |
cruzita: LOL! Coming from a lady..very funny. Wait o, is lalasticlala still a mod on nland? Anyways the truth is that romance section is the center core of nairaland and most nairaland visitors are more interested in romance issues and this is why the romance section has the biggest viewers so more romance topics should make frontpage in order to keep the site interesting. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Vikky014(f): 2:23pm On Feb 14, 2016 |
Toks2008:y not even if na crocodile tears she go tell u |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Toks2008(m): 11:41pm On Feb 14, 2016 |
Vikky014: Story... Lalasticlala i think this is good enough for more people to discuss about. |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by Sunnypar(m): 5:41am On Feb 15, 2016 |
A Guy who has no job got married to a banker, despite his fears and several advices that it's not good to marry without a job. Every month the girl would give the guy her full salary of #80,000 after removing her tithe. The guy would give the wife #20.000 for personal upkeep and the guy determined what happened to the remaining money. This happened for 3 good years.There was happiness in the family and the wife never refused to do her primary home duties for that 3 years, despite wrong advice from friends that 'you can't be paying the bills and still be doing all the work'. There was a particular month the guy used about #50.000 to travel from region to region for different interviews. He finally got a job with a good firm. His salary was #380,000 monthly for a start. He bought his first car (a brand new) for 2.2million naira he gave the wife the car key,& continued to takepublic transport to work for about 3 years. Then he bought the 2nd car for 4million took the keys of the first car & gave his wife the keys of the 2nd new car. They eventually moved into their own house after few years. One day, the wife was looking for some documents. She stumbled on a file neatly hidden, when she opened it, she saw her wedding picture when she was very slim in the first page of the file. She then saw that the document the purchase of the land and every other thing in the house were all written in her name! At the last page was the husband's wedding picture and a note written by him: ''MY WIFE IS ALL I HAVE GOT. NOT EVEN THIS HOUSE WORTH 100 million AT THE TIME I BUILT IS MINE’’. Tears started to roll down her eyes. This couple got married in 1998. Yesterday Sunday was their wedding anniversary, blessed with 3 children. True LOVE still exists till this day. Are you sure the love you have for your partner can be compared to this one you just read? No matter what remember you chose each other. It doesn't matter who puts food on the table or who pays the bills. Always know, NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. Now pray for all singles on my friends list that God will surely lead you to your destined life partner and u will never regret ur marriage IJN 21 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by VocalWalls: 7:58pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
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| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by deebsman1(m): 8:00pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
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| Re: When you are in a deaf and dumb relationship. by fromnigeria(m): 8:01pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
YEs, you're right. Marriages and relationships have failed and will continue to fail from lack of effective communication. Well Done Tok(umbo)2008  |
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