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What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? - Romance - Nairaland

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What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by rosalieene(f): 12:03pm On Feb 21, 2016
Please I need your candid advice. Before
my marriage last year december, I have
a guy that I was dating, he was good and
caring and promised me marriage but
not financially ready. September last
year I went for a friend wedding and I
mate this guy who happens to be my
husband now. At the wedding we
discovered we are from the same village.
After talking we exchange contactand I
had nothing in mind. After sometimes
the guy started calling and texting me.
Telling me that he has always wanted to
marry someone from our village that he
would like to marry me, I told him I have
someone already. He said he would give
me time to think about it. After a week
my mom called me on phone that the
guy's mother called her and was begging
her to beg me to accept their son's
request. My mom said she knew his
family very well that they are good
people. After some talk with my family, I
accepted the guy and told my then
boyfriend the new development, we both
parted amicably. Before my wedding last
year december, around November
ending I was preparing to travel to my
village for preparation, NY ex called me
that he would like to see nybfor the last
time and wish me well. I went to see
him. One thing led to another we had sex
which I regreted. After that day we
stopped communicating. Now my
wedding has come and gone and
everything has been moving so good
until last month when I went for
pregnancy test because I was feeling
feverish. Doctor confirmed that I'm
pregnant but when he told me how my
weeks, I was shattered. Because I didn't
have sex with my hubby untill after our
wedding which was in middle of
December. But according to the weeks
doctor said,it's obvious to me that my
hubby is not responsible for the
pregnany., it's my ex boyfriend. Mamas
please am confused, I don't even know
how to say this out and my stomach is
growing. I don't know what to do. I have
not talked to anybody about it till now
because I don't know the right person to
tell the truth how bad it will be. Please I
need your advice on how to handle this,
my husband is a good man and I don't
want to hurt him with something like
this. Since the news of my pregnancy, he
has reschedule his work time to spend
more time with me.please what do I do,
should I tell him or my family or should I
keep it to my self and bear the burden of
the secret alone? Please advice me. No
insult please because am going through a
lot already

source:- http://forums.mamalette.com/index.php?threads/im-married-but-now-am-pregnant-for-my-ex.258/

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by chocolateme(f): 12:06pm On Feb 21, 2016
Hmm, I am so sorry for what you are passing through. You don't need to keep it a secret from him. You were honest with him from the onset and left someone for him. Let him be aware and make his own decision on it.

2 Likes

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by Eebrahym(m): 12:07pm On Feb 21, 2016
shocked No insult for where? Abeg u deserve some insults.

You no try at all, the way I'm seeing you sef, u will be cheating on your husband, the good man as u said.
Marriage is not by force for crying out loud, all your stories about same village, mother begging and blah blah blah are not tenable at all, you are just a bloody thief and cheat.

You are now telling us you regretted having sex with your Ex shocked as if it's not a mutual agreement, as if that's where it ended

Please and please, enough of this shiit stories, pack your belongings and go and settle with the guy who is responsible for the pregnancy


Wicked geh, you just wañna put the innocent man into some emotional trauma.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by Gracito(f): 12:11pm On Feb 21, 2016
Omo, e no easy o. You would have to let him know o. Or you could wait till he finds out. Tell him. It's better before he finds out about the infidelity himself

2 Likes

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by humanbeing5th(f): 12:11pm On Feb 21, 2016
ki
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by HomieQuan(m): 12:37pm On Feb 21, 2016
Just tell ur husband to avoid predicaments...cus once u kip it to urslf fr a long tym nd d truth finally comes out, u r Toast

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by osesology(m): 12:48pm On Feb 21, 2016
Well, there are a lot of men out there fathering another man's children as a result of some women's sexual indecency and promiscuous behaviour, so therefore, you wont be the first.
See wetin conji dey cause!

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by Nobody: 12:54pm On Feb 21, 2016
Sai BaBa
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by osesology(m): 1:00pm On Feb 21, 2016
EVILFOREST:
Sai BaBa
You mean, we should blame Buhari for this one as well?
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by INTERMAN: 1:04pm On Feb 21, 2016
Grrrhhh. This is terrible o. You better tell him the truth

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by INTERMAN: 1:05pm On Feb 21, 2016
EVILFOREST:
Sai BaBa
The world is doing you
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by Nobody: 1:49pm On Feb 21, 2016
Lol... "He promised me marriage" grin

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by KINGinVAHALA: 1:57pm On Feb 21, 2016
@Op what you re going through isnt new. If i were ur husband and you tell me with your mouth, I WILL KILL YOU, bt if i find out myself, I WILL STILL KILL YOU, bt this time i would throw your dead body into the river. inshort, i wont kill only you, i will also kill every breathing thing in your family.
RUBB!SH!
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by AsanwaKC(f): 2:11pm On Feb 21, 2016
op shits..happen, you just have to live with it for the rest of your life. or better still seek for divorce and save the poor man the agony of finding out in the long-run.
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by OgidiOlu3(m): 2:12pm On Feb 21, 2016
Wow! Okafor's Law is just a bas.tard angry
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by swimcash(m): 2:23pm On Feb 21, 2016
Dnt even tink of abortion, n its best u let your husband knws wats on ground n ur suppose ex deserve 2 knw he's goin 2 b a father.. One last n very important tin, if u choose 2 break d news 2 ur husband wil advice u 2 park ur belongings 2 ur mom's place n call him on fone. No go tell am 2 him face o, cos nairalander no go follow u chop d beaten
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by refiner(f): 2:37pm On Feb 21, 2016
KINGinVAHALA:
@Op what you re going through isnt new. If i were ur husband and you tell me with your mouth, I WILL KILL YOU, bt if i find out myself, I WILL STILL KILL YOU, bt this time i would throw your dead body into the river. inshort, i wont kill only you, i will also kill every breathing thing in your family.
RUBB!SH!

lolgrin....u are wicked!

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by refiner(f): 2:38pm On Feb 21, 2016
Eebrahym:
shocked No insult for where? Abeg u deserve some insults.

You no try at all, the way I'm seeing you sef, u will be cheating on your husband, the good man as u said.
Marriage is not by force for crying out loud, all your stories about same village, mother begging and blah blah blah are not tenable at all, you are just a bloody thief and cheat.

You are now telling us you regretted having sex with your Ex shocked as if it's not a mutual agreement, as if that's where it ended

Please and please, enough of this shiit stories, pack your belongings and go and settle with the guy who is responsible for the pregnancy


Wicked geh, you just wañna put the innocent man into some emotional trauma.



u are funny!....u no see were she write NP insult?...grin
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by refiner(f): 2:39pm On Feb 21, 2016
but op.if dats u in ur profile picx den dis story is fake!

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by xendra: 2:42pm On Feb 21, 2016
rosalieene:
Please I need your candid advice. Before
my marriage last year december, I have
a guy that I was dating, he was good and
caring and promised me marriage but
not financially ready. September last
year I went for a friend wedding and I
mate this guy who happens to be my
husband now. At the wedding we
discovered we are from the same village.
After talking we exchange contactand I
had nothing in mind. After sometimes
the guy started calling and texting me.
Telling me that he has always wanted to
marry someone from our village that he
would like to marry me, I told him I have
someone already. He said he would give
me time to think about it. After a week
my mom called me on phone that the
guy's mother called her and was begging
her to beg me to accept their son's
request. My mom said she knew his
family very well that they are good
people. After some talk with my family, I
accepted the guy and told my then
boyfriend the new development, we both
parted amicably. Before my wedding last
year december, around November
ending I was preparing to travel to my
village for preparation, NY ex called me
that he would like to see nybfor the last
time and wish me well. I went to see
him. One thing led to another we had sex
which I regreted. After that day we
stopped communicating. Now my
wedding has come and gone and
everything has been moving so good
until last month when I went for
pregnancy test because I was feeling
feverish. Doctor confirmed that I'm
pregnant but when he told me how my
weeks, I was shattered. Because I didn't
have sex with my hubby untill after our
wedding which was in middle of
December. But according to the weeks
doctor said,it's obvious to me that my
hubby is not responsible for the
pregnany., it's my ex boyfriend. Mamas
please am confused, I don't even know
how to say this out and my stomach is
growing. I don't know what to do. I have
not talked to anybody about it till now
because I don't know the right person to
tell the truth how bad it will be. Please I
need your advice on how to handle this,
my husband is a good man and I don't
want to hurt him with something like
this. Since the news of my pregnancy, he
has reschedule his work time to spend
more time with me.please what do I do,
should I tell him or my family or should I
keep it to my self and bear the burden of
the secret alone? Please advice me. No
insult please because am going through a
lot already

source:- http://forums.mamalette.com/index.php?threads/im-married-but-now-am-pregnant-for-my-ex.258/
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by KINGinVAHALA: 2:43pm On Feb 21, 2016
refiner:


lolgrin....u are wicked!
Lol. i made up my mind frm inception to be a good husband to any woman i take to my home and call my wife. But i wont tolerate any trash if she pays my good with bad. To me on that, i live in the old testement bible where "FORGIVENESS WAS A SIN & THE WAGES FOR SIN THEN WE BOTH KNOW WAS DEATH".
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by xendra: 2:49pm On Feb 21, 2016
rosalieene:
Please I need your candid advice. Before
my marriage last year december, I have
a guy that I was dating, he was good and
caring and promised me marriage but
not financially ready. September last
year I went for a friend wedding and I
mate this guy who happens to be my
husband now. At the wedding we
discovered we are from the same village.
After talking we exchange contactand I
had nothing in mind. After sometimes
the guy started calling and texting me.
Telling me that he has always wanted to
marry someone from our village that he
would like to marry me, I told him I have
someone already. He said he would give
me time to think about it. After a week
my mom called me on phone that the
guy's mother called her and was begging
her to beg me to accept their son's
request. My mom said she knew his
family very well that they are good
people. After some talk with my family, I
accepted the guy and told my then
boyfriend the new development, we both
parted amicably. Before my wedding last
year december, around November
ending I was preparing to travel to my
village for preparation, NY ex called me
that he would like to see nybfor the last
time and wish me well. I went to see
him. One thing led to another we had sex
which I regreted. After that day we
stopped communicating. Now my
wedding has come and gone and
everything has been moving so good
until last month when I went for
pregnancy test because I was feeling
feverish. Doctor confirmed that I'm
pregnant but when he told me how my
weeks, I was shattered. Because I didn't
have sex with my hubby untill after our
wedding which was in middle of
December. But according to the weeks
doctor said,it's obvious to me that my
hubby is not responsible for the
pregnany., it's my ex boyfriend. Mamas
please am confused, I don't even know
how to say this out and my stomach is
growing. I don't know what to do. I have
not talked to anybody about it till now
because I don't know the right person to
tell the truth how bad it will be. Please I
need your advice on how to handle this,
my husband is a good man and I don't
want to hurt him with something like
this. Since the news of my pregnancy, he
has reschedule his work time to spend
more time with me.please what do I do,
should I tell him or my family or should I
keep it to my self and bear the burden of
the secret alone? Please advice me. No
insult please because am going through a
lot already

source:- http://forums.mamalette.com/index.php?threads/im-married-but-now-am-pregnant-for-my-ex.258/
Hmmm This is what happens when you are undecided. Why would you go see an ex for any reason after you have broken up? and not in an open place, baaaad idea! anyway you have to tell your husband and I don't know if there is a good way to say something like this, but tell him the truth so that whatever the outcome there would be no lies to hunt you in the future.

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by refiner(f): 2:56pm On Feb 21, 2016
KINGinVAHALA:

Lol. i made up my mind frm inception to be a good husband to any woman i take to my home and call my wife. But i wont tolerate any trash if she pays my good with bad. To me on that, i live in the old testement bible where "FORGIVENESS WAS A SIN & THE WAGES FOR SIN THEN WE BOTH KNOW WAS DEATH".

my dear we all make mistakes every time....we sin at all times and get pardoned by God!...so why not do same to ur fellow humans!smiley
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by KINGinVAHALA: 3:08pm On Feb 21, 2016
refiner:


my dear we all make mistakes every time....we sin at all times and get pardoned by God!...so why not do same to ur fellow humans!smiley
Lol. Let me make it clear to yor sweet. I wont even take it if my woman cheats on me in a bf gf relationship(d relationship would end d day i find out) not to talk of marriage. someone whom nature has made bcum part of me bcus of 'my wife' tag, some whom i paid for to take frm her father's house, someone whom i carter for, someone whom i shelter, someone whom i feed, someone whom i would be ready to die for for been my wife. ahhh, there is no way i would forgive such a person. I can forgive any other thing in my relationship or marriage, but definately not CHEATING.
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by paschu: 3:15pm On Feb 21, 2016
KINGinVAHALA:

Lol. i made up my mind frm inception to be a good husband to any woman i take to my home and call my wife. But i wont tolerate any trash if she pays my good with bad. To me on that, i live in the old testement bible where "FORGIVENESS WAS A SIN & THE WAGES FOR SIN THEN WE BOTH KNOW WAS DEATH".

Please dear, I'm seriously touched by your situation. Please don't listen to what some of the folks here are saying. Here's what I think you should do immediately.


0.

Go to another hospital and GET DOUBLE SURE about the timing of the pregnancy. If the report remains the same, then proceed as follows.

1.
CRY out to God for mercy, AND the purging of your conscience and grace to move on to the next phase of your life as happy woman, no matter what happens. Please start now and continue until you feel the burden lifted and a new dimension of peace envelopes your entire soul. Trust me it will happen. Your case is not as hopeless as that of Jonah or Mary Magdalene. Trust me God is so compassionate. And your case is not shocking to Him. In fact He has seen and forgiven WORST cases.

2.
DO NOT TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS.

3.
GO TO YOUR MUM AND OPEN UP TO HER, yes, tell your mother every darn thing that took place ( do it right now).

4.
Compel your mother to talk to your MOTHER INLAW as soon as possible.

5.
Stay with your mother untill the senior women are able to break the news to the man.

6. Stay with your mum until you are able to give birth. This will help give your hubby some space to think.

7.
If the senior women are able to prevail on the man and he decides to accept you and your child, good for you, if not, just move on and know that at least you did not live a lie for the rest of your life.

Just my opinion though, GOOD LUCK.



QUICK NOTE:
____________

YOUR EX SHOULD NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW WHERE YOU STAND WITH YOUR HUBBY. If he chooses to remain with you, and you are willing to stay, then give him the previledge of deciding what happens to the child and your ex. And I must warn that if your hubby ever forgives this, and CHOOSES to remain with you in spite of it, then you must be ready and glad to remain grateful to him for the rest of your life.

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by tommychow(m): 3:22pm On Feb 21, 2016
You deserve whatever happens to you throughout this mess. The shaming, the insults, the slaps, the divorce, the heartbreak, the depression etc. Humbly accept it all because you're clearly guilty. Stop trying to find an easy way out of the mess you made. Confess and get your ass whooping because if you don't, your guilt will eat you inside-out...and he'll still find out and whoop your ass. So, it only gets worse the longer you wait.

1 Like

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by refiner(f): 3:28pm On Feb 21, 2016
KINGinVAHALA:

Lol. Let me make it clear to yor sweet. I wont even take it if my woman cheats on me in a bf gf relationship(d relationship would end d day i find out) not to talk of marriage. someone whom nature has made bcum part of me bcus of 'my wife' tag, some whom i paid for to take frm her father's house, someone whom i carter for, someone whom i shelter, someone whom i feed, someone whom i would be ready to die for for been my wife. ahhh, there is no way i would forgive such a person. I can forgive any other thing in my relationship or marriage, but definately not CHEATING.


and u will definitely not cheat on ur wife too right?
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by omirb: 3:34pm On Feb 21, 2016
See your case is somehow, but go and tell d owner of d pregnancy first b4 informing your huby. Ask him what u are going to do and try to present d confirmation report to him. U guys will talk and there will be a way out.
But next time, be careful. U are already use to your ex that is why and I know u guys have been doing it long b4 u parted.
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by skywalker240(m): 3:35pm On Feb 21, 2016
op u ar wicked,
After u inflicted pain on ur ex,
Now ur'e gonna do it wit ur prex or should i say hubby?
kai u are heartless,..
playing with 2 men's emmotions.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by KINGinVAHALA: 3:35pm On Feb 21, 2016
refiner:



and u will definitely not cheat on ur wife too right?







My Wife, NEVER!

My Gf, YES if she is misbehaving and it would be left for her to end the relationship or nt. Atleast nor be new thing again for me. One just ended 2 days ago, and i didnt die nor had heartbreak. lol
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by rosalieene(f): 4:02pm On Feb 21, 2016
KINGinVAHALA:

Lol. Let me make it clear to yor sweet. I wont even take it if my woman cheats on me in a bf gf relationship(d relationship would end d day i find out) not to talk of marriage. someone whom nature has made bcum part of me bcus of 'my wife' tag, some whom i paid for to take frm her father's house, someone whom i carter for, someone whom i shelter, someone whom i feed, someone whom i would be ready to die for for been my wife. ahhh, there is no way i would forgive such a person. I can forgive any other thing in my relationship or marriage, but definately not CHEATING.
kikikikiki
laughing in Spanish.
Just pray to God to give you that good wife you hope to have.
Re: What Advice Would You Give This Young Lady? by KINGinVAHALA: 4:16pm On Feb 21, 2016
rosalieene:

kikikikiki
laughing in Spanish.
Just pray to God to give you that good wife you hope to have.
I have prayed, and hv stopped praying bcus God in his infinite mercy has answered my prayer. God has shown and brought me YOU.

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