Whome:

I am not sure you could handle me remember I am full blooded Akata!

The guy has akata charm, so dont worry

Fhemmmy:

The guy has akata charm, so dont worry

Thanks bro, tell her for me oo

@JUSTGOOD I am glad you were a fly on the wall in my marriages and you were able to see what went on in MY home. I still stand by what I said in that I was a good wife and I am a good mother. If it was me with the problem then why did my first husband beg me to stay and even till this day 5 years after I left would he still take me back? And I promise you those were his words. My second husband is in the same shoes but I do not believe his intentions are for truth so I wont even begin to count him in that.

I have always looked at myself. If I did not how could I come on this board and say somthing unfair, realize it, and apologize for it. I am not above reproach but again I say to you, if you dont know what your talking about please shut up, for you again are basing your comments on YOUR feelings and not facts.

Having replied Justgood

I want my own reply.

I thought I could sneak in and post and sneak out. Good morning, afternoon, evening, Agaba.

You can't just sneak in like that, there are always watchmen around.

How are you hun?

Whome:

@JUSTGOOD I am glad you were a fly on the wall in my marriages and you were able to see what went on in MY home. I still stand by what I said in that I was a good wife and I am a good mother. If it was me with the problem then why did my first husband beg me to stay and even till this day 5 years after I left would he still take me back? And I promise you those were his words. My second husband is in the same shoes but I do not believe his intentions are for truth so I wont even begin to count him in that.

I have always looked at myself. If I did not how could I come on this board and say somthing unfair, realize it, and apologize for it. I am not above reproach but again I say to you, if you dont know what your talking about please shut up, for you again are basing your comments on YOUR feelings and not facts.

You are a good wife yet every man that comes into your life somehow becomes a devil. What an irony of sorts!

The fact that your ex husbands want to come back into your life does not mean the situations will not repeat themselves. You need to shut up and hide yourself somewhere if you want to have any life. Once beaten, twice shy is a popular saying. Twice/thrice beaten is nothing other than a failure or a devil in disguise.

Many men always try to get back to their exes for obvious reasons. The fact that men dont speak out openly about things does not make them the bad one everytime. A daft woman who turns a decent man to a devil needs to examine what she's doing to turn decent people into devils; not come and blab online.

I'm really sad and shocked at how people are battering you and judging so easily.
Things happen in life that we haven't planned for and be very careful when you throw stones at other,
She was with a man and chose not to abort her 2 children. She then waited for another 11 years before having a sexual relationship with another man and again chose to not abort. Just that deserves some respect.
Some women will keep jumping from one bed to the other, aborting any 'inconvenience' in the desperate bid to just get married and no one will ever know.
I am not saying you made the right choices as I believe God has a reason for creating man and woman to procreate. Someone said because she was left by 2 men then she has to be the problem. Men lie, decieve and cheat all the time and they do not need a reason for that. It's not because the woman is bad or the grass is greener on the other side. I know exactly what most Nigerians think of 'Jamo' so am not too surprised. Take heart and be the best parent you can. You have every chance of still meeting a fantastic guy but please use a condom.

@ JUSTGOOD this has obviously gone beyond a difference in opinion and I dont need to argue what kind of woman I am with you, so please go somewhere and calm down because surely my life cannot be that important to you! Take Care

Lol at watchmen! Next time I will just have to use my alias. I am good thanx for asking and yourself?

O, k

@JustGood :
I think you are being a little harsh on Whome now. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you were not her husband then you cannot know what type of wife she was. The second husband you may say was proof of her "stupidity" , but let's remember that bad things often happen to good people, and sometimes more than twice in a row. The story of Job is a good example.

@Poster : I won't pretend to know anything about marriage, but for one thing I'm glad you said yourself that you can be hot- tempered at times. Forget (or try to forget) about the guy and focus on yourself for now. Work on those character flaws (we all have them) and keep looking after those children. I'm going to tell you this and it's the truth. You are doing a good job looking after those children. Some women wouldnt even bother. For that, I congratulate you and want to encourage you to keep it up.
 There are still good men out there. But I would not encourage you to have children out of wedlock for any man again. Don't make that mistake again. Remember that a man's words are as fickle as the wind. Here today, gone tomorrow - most especially if you are not married to him.

Whome:

Lol at watchmen! Next time I will just have to use my alias. I am good thanx for asking and yourself?

I am fine too. You caught me unawares! Anyway catch you later

@luvbooks, that woman has children from 3 different men and she has made us believe that each of those men only turned evil later (after getting involved with her). Is it not safe to conclude that there's something about her that turns men evil? Or maybe she is not smart enough to chose the right kind of men? It has to be either of the two.

Thankfully, we dont know the men. . . I bet they will also have things to say about her.

I ALREADY HEAR THAT KIND OF NONSENSE FROM WEST INDIANS ABOUT AFRICANS CONSTANTLY

KEEP YOUR BUSH MENTALITY TO YOURSELF

Aarula - You come on to this forum looking for collective castigation of your spouse (as he should be), but you are loathe to accept your responsibility in all this. To make matters worse, you then display ur innate and sectarian prejudices towards Africans that many insecure West Indians seem to harbour.
Why would people who are not giving an agreeable opinion have a "BUSH MENTALITY"?
What kind of "NONSENSE" have you heard about "AFRICANS" from "WEST INDIANS"?

Question is - Why did you have 2 kids for a man, you were not married to, and who ended up dumping you, despite the fact that - in ur own words " Problems in the relationship surfaced very early". Surely this suggests an inability to reason effectively - however favourably you look at it.

The title of ur post said you needed advice, yet there was no such request in ur post. Rather, it was full of a "pass the buck" attitude, with the only fig of responsibility claimed by you for the current state of affairs being "i can have a fiery temper". Absolute nonsense if you ask me.

chaircover:

Madam I have read all your responses and posts and most were very discourteous, off point and had Ignorant general sweeping statements of Nigerian men and women

You don’t have to be impolite to put your point across and to be honest I haven’t seen anyone on this forum insult you. All have tried to offer constructive advice which incidentally is what you asked for when you posted the topic.

You come across as very disrespectful and a very conceited individual and with an attitude like that you will have problems holding down a good relationship with any decent man from any nationality; nothing to do with the man being Nigerian. If you can be this rude to strangers then I hate to think what you will be like behind closed doors with your man.

What you have achieved or accomplished financially or career wise is not the point of discussion here and for the record, none of what you’ve mentioned is extra ordinary.

What interests me is what you have achieved as a mother to those 4 children who haven’t got a father figure in the home due to no fault of their own and with the way you are carrying on I do wonder what kind of example you are giving them.

I note that the only person on your side & you call intelligent (your words) is Whome.

Someone who by her own admission has been “duped” (my words) by 3 Nigerian men and has 1 child for each of these 3 men. Now tell me does that look like an intelligent woman to you? . . . .once, twice, thrice??

The same one who thinks that women who don’t end up being single mothers only achieved this through abortion

@poster, I suggest you choose your friends and take advise wisely and work on that manner of yours. No man wants an army general in his house; Nigerian or Jamaican.

I’m not saying be stupid & just accept all shit thrown at you by men but learn to put your point across in a refined manner.

Aggression is not the answer to any problem.

agreed with chaircover