I have been friends with this guy since 2014, we only started dating last year October .I have never been a person who rushes into a relationship, because when I open up to a guy I stay loyal to him.

My problem started 3months ago when he started seeing this girl frequently, i did not make much out of it. Eventually they stopped talking, i never bothered to find out why.

In January another girl started popping up hear and there, on his phone and at weekend gatherings (which i hardly attend). This time i asked who this girl was and he told me it was his fav aunt's daughter, what puzzled me was that his aunt only had 2sons and I have met them.

When i asked when she had a daughter, he changed the story to her late older sister's daughter. I met his aunt while we were friends in 2014 and I have never heard about this girl. When i asked further he could defensive and started accusing me of being insecure. He switched his phone off (or blocked me) for a day after that.

I feel so disrespected and I would like to know from those with experience or those who have similar experiences, where do i draw the line before I get hurt? How do i handle such a situation?

babe the handwriting is clearly written on the wall..its ur life ur choice

Urm u should just give him the silent treatment, he'l come back begging.


Please trust me on this, it will work

You can draw a line on a paper

Babes abeg abeg, the guy is not serious with you. Which kain lie be that? So asking for clarifications now amounts to insecurity abi? Whatever happens, make sure he explains his relationship with the girl in questions clearly and why he lied in the first place

feldido:
You can draw a line on a paper

come on stop playing. Let's make meaningful contributions

It is quite clear that he is still seeing this girl (and how many others.)
If you stay together or worse get married you will never be able to trust him and you will never be happy.
Better to get rid of him now and find someone better.
He will probably beg and scream but if you agree to his wishes he will be straight back to his other women.

missingrib:
babe the handwriting is clearly written on the wall..its ur life ur choice

she's right u know

It is 'Ojowu' that is doing u. Girls like are sometin else at d long run. Haba!
Any small thing na suspicious kilode, if care is not taken na u go create HBP for yourself.

Draw the line at this point.

I thought ppl go into relationship with the aim of getting married to the person eventually. Even while dating, he is cheating or flirting and u are still willing to act like there is no problem. I blv u shld move on with ur life. Note that if u are 22 yrs for example, u will never in your life be 22 again. Stop wasting your youth on Such a fellow.

my candid advice? dump him like hot potato. I mean right now, before you get hurt.

he is definitely cheating on you, I guess you don't need us to tell you that, but thinking he will change may be the biggest mistake you might make in a long while.

once a cheat, always a cheat.

the sooner you move on the better

Please permit me to say it the way I see it.....Maybe he was not trying to put all his eggs in one basket....And he was not bold enough to tell you.....

>>>>> I said this based on your statement

<<<<< 1. you are already acting like a wife..... You do not attend any function he was interested in....If you became really serious with him and he gave you his heart, you might even forbid him from going to the gathering....

<<<<<2. You do not rush things meaning you are dragging your feet in that relationship and you basically do not care that much, because if you really loved him, and he was talking to the other girl in the previous relationship, You would have cared to know....

Maybe he thought you were not serious with him in that relationship due to your attitude of time taking.....
If I were to be in his shoes, I would have also looked else where to know if the next girl is better behaved......because from 2014-16, it is enough time to be serious in a relationship and know where it was going....

Dump him and come 2me luv

Richy4:
Please permit me to say it the way I see it.....Maybe he was not trying to put all his eggs in one basket....And he was not bold enough to tell you.....

>>>>> I said this based on your statement

<<<<< 1. you are already acting like a wife..... You do not attend any function he was interested in....If you became really serious with him and he gave you his heart, you might even forbid him from going to the gathering....

i do not go out because its my choice not because im trying to behave like a wife. He found me like this and im not gonna change. Its either one accepts me as I am or they let me be.

<<<<2. You do not rush things meaning you are dragging your feet in that relationship and you basically do not care that much, because if you really loved him, and he was talking to the other girl in the previous relationship, You would have cared to know....

i have work and a business to run and soon i start my postgrad, i have so much going on in my life, that i do not have time to play dectetive over a grown man. If he wants to play around, cool by me, I will let him go so can do as he pleases, the world have 7billion people I will not kill myself over 1.

Maybe he thought you were not serious with him in that relationship due to your attitude of time taking.....
If I were to be in his shoes, I would have also looked else where to know if the next girl is better behaved......because from 2014-16, it is enough time to be serious in a relationship and know where it was going....

I will not take any of the blame you are trying to put on me. I know my worth. I do not have to throw my life on the line to make sure he acts the way he should act. There will always be a better guy out there.

Thank you guys for the advise. I have decided to let the relationship go and focus on me.

Tay16:
i do not go out because its my choice not because im trying to behave like a wife. He found me like this and im not gonna change. Its either one accepts me as I am or they let me be.

i have work and a business to run and soon i start my postgrad, i have so much going on in my life, that i do not have time to play dectetive over a grown man. If he wants to play around, cool by me, I will let him go so can do as he pleases, the world have 7billion people I will not kill myself over 1.

I will not take any of the blame you are trying to put on me. I know my worth. I do not have to throw my life on the line to make sure he acts the way he should act. There will always be a better guy out there.

This relationship has no future. You are not yet ready for it. Just concentrate on your job, career and school and leave the young man alone. And next time, post this in romance section and not here.

...off to 7am mass...

Read my thread on how to fall out of love and thank me later . Cheater will always cheat

Tay16:
i do not go out because its my choice not because im trying to behave like a wife. He found me like this and im not gonna change. Its either one accepts me as I am or they let me be.

i have work and a business to run and soon i start my postgrad, i have so much going on in my life, that i do not have time to play dectetive over a grown man. If he wants to play around, cool by me, I will let him go so can do as he pleases, the world have 7billion people I will not kill myself over 1.

I will not take any of the blame you are trying to put on me. I know my worth. I do not have to throw my life on the line to make sure he acts the way he should act. There will always be a better guy out there.

Sorry if u do not like my opinion. I will always stand for the voice of reason.....No one was basically asking u to throw your life away for any one, I for one will not do it....But maybe due to the fact that u knew your worth alot, u were not willing to commit and make any sacrifice...because u were busy with your career hence u were taking your time.

in a relationship, it takes two to be on it... not one.... You cannot say categorically that u were blameless through out the whole misunderstanding.....besides I did not blame u for anything.... if u read properly, The key word was maybe....I said what I said based on your write up and on a guy's point of view when a girl is trying her best to waste his time......

It is obvious that both of u were not compatible, so let him go....when u are done with your career then u can focus and have a man. and u will not drag your feet any more...

Dear OP, there are lot of women who were graduate just like u, who works/ got businesses and are still happy with their man because they make out time for them....Sometimes people make sacrifices for their friendships/ relationships even when they do not want to just to put a smile on their loved one's faces....No one says u should not know your worth.... there are certain things u can do just to make someone happy.... For example, u said u do not like going out, he met u like that,u are not ready to change that.....Have u considered the fact that his family or friends would have loved to see u there in those gathering u have been missing? have u considered how he would have been beaming with pride just because u were with him? how about u appear in that gathering once in 2months?

Go and ask men how they feel about shopping with their wife, In this world a lot of men doesn't like going shopping with their wife.. but they do it....it is called sacrifice....

Song of Ocol and Song of Lawino. ..