Do I Tell? - Romance (3) - Nairaland
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If I Tell You Im A Virgin, We Get Married And You Find Out I Lied.reactions? / Should I Tell My Ex-Boyfriend That I Want Him Back? / Should I Tell His Wife That He Is Having An Affair With Me? (2) (3) (4)
| Re: Do I Tell? by debosky(m): 8:46pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
I've heard you both - back to topic! @ topic Frankly people need to be less cynical, she could be really confused about what to do and not be a gold digger, y'all should lay off. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by na2day2(m): 9:16pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
platinumnk: have u ever heard of the saying, "one dey na one day, monkey go go market hin no go come back?" how will u feel if u heard from some where that ur bf is being approached for sex by ur sister who u hold in very high regards and practically worship but the source also tells u that ur bf has constantly said no to ur sis but he never told u, what will u begin to think? and even if u trust him then suddenly u saw 2 of them having one of those talks where she is trying to woo him, how will u feel? girl, we are humans and that is where doubt will begin and if care is not taken, problems will start to pop up then gradually it can kill the relationship. even if she still holds strong, constant temptation will one day lead to one's will being broken down but if she tells him, she has something to hold on to knowing sum1 she loves already knows and if her bf is stupid enough to break up with her bcuz she told him, then i say, it is better that way than to one day fall due to pressure and she is caught cheating. "one day na one day, monkey go go market, hin no go come back" |
| Re: Do I Tell? by platinumnk(f): 9:25pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
na2day?: [glow=teal,2,300]I agree with that, but I think she is looking for confidence here, and we should back her up, many time we want to do something, fear hold us. We should encourage her instead of badgering.  [/glow]Like how how women are afraid to tell on everybody favorite "uncle" that he sexually abuses them. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 9:35pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
You people will end up confusing the girl. Why not assume it's a true story and give advice. I hate pessimism. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by na2day2(m): 9:43pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
platinumnk: let me tell u one small bible tori, one prophet like that wey know say God no wan cause the children of Israel dey under pressure to collect goodies just to cause Israel. every time the prophet dey check on God if God don change hin mind, finally finally prophet cave to pressure and kon give the pressurizer hints, wetin u think say God do to am? the prophet mod no bi small thing. i no read where God dey encourage am say make hin get courage; wetin hin know say na right thing to do hin still dey look for encouragement, na death hin get oo BlueDiva: i am sure pessimism feels the same  |
| Re: Do I Tell? by crackhead: 10:11pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
Thanks everybody for your advice. @Moderator Why did you people change my username? I'm not happy about this. Seems you are driving me out of Nairaland. Too bad. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by platinumnk(f): 10:15pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
crackhead: [glow=teal,2,300]Yes Somebody must answer!! That was wrong  Take courage my dear  [/glow] |
| Re: Do I Tell? by na2day2(m): 10:33pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
crackhead: they changed ur username? wow! dictators on NL  |
| Re: Do I Tell? by TheSeeker(m): 10:40pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
This lady is just looking for support from peeps on here to let her have a ride on the boyfriend's cousin. She's matured enough to know what to do, so why come to NL in the first place to discuss this? What's she definitely expecting from people on her? She's expecting that we tell her it's nothing bad so she should go ahead and have fun with the guy and take the car as her birthday gift. Why the hell is she keeping track of his expenses if she wasn't interested in her? Why is she listening to all the details while he was saying them if she wasn't interested? You know what sweetie, go on and catch your groove, your boyfriend won't know. I'm being sarcastic though. On the other hand, don't you think it'll be honorable enough for you to tell your boyfriend instead of hiding under a flimsy excuse that he "worships" his cousin? No matter how a guy worships his family when it comes to showing off sexual advances, most men won't bother to find out the truth, they will swing into action: an action filled with venom and hate against the culprit even if it's their father. So what makes you think you'll be on the losing end when you tell him? What do you think he's going to say? What do you think his cousin is going to tell him? Do you have anything to hide? No guy, as long as he loves his girl, allows any man to flirt with his woman, not now and never! Be real to yourself and do what you gotta do, you already know what you want |
| Re: Do I Tell? by platinumnk(f): 10:47pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
[glow=teal,2,300]TheSeeker, I thought u was better than that. How do u know when she is mature enough, have u ever seen shows where it took years for women to confess sexual abuse by family members, and some ppl take it to their graves, i know this is not that extreme, but consider it seriously. I dont think, considering the nature of Nairalanders here, that she would be looking for advice on how to sleep with the cousin. She is just trying to provide examples on how big the cousin is. I really think shes afraid that the bf will choose the cousin over her, well to be frank, if he does, i know it will hurt, but be thankful that the truth was revealed sooner than later. Dont sell yourself short. Best wishes dear. @Na2day- yeah they are really wrong for that, I would like to see an explanation, but I doubt it, that wasnt a very nice thing to do at all.  [/glow] |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 10:53pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
Noticed something about you 'TheSeeker', you treat your assumptions as facts. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by TheSeeker(m): 10:58pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
Platinumnk, yeah that's what she's looking for. If you understand where she's coming from, she's being a little defensive. Tell me what sane guy will turn around to accuse his girlfriend of trying to seduce his family member when she tells him his own family tries to get her in bed by some other means? Do you realize she said her boyfriend knows he's arrogant as well and is full of himself? What makes you think the cousin hasn't done that to any of his previous girlfriends? We have to be realistic and understand where she is coming from? OK, let me break it down. She knows definitely it's wrong to sleep with her boyfriend's cousin, then she's scared to tell her boyfriend? Why? How long have they been together? Has she exhibited any form of habit that will make his boyfriend doubt her? What's her past like? No matter how a guy idolizes his family, if he gets to know his idol made a sexual advancement to his girlfriend, the most and worst he'd do is doubt what her girlfriend says and delve to know what's up with his girlfriend's assertion --- he won't be so foolish to ask his idol if it's true unless he's a total jerk. He'll watch and if he does he'll find out; that's a little thing for anyone with common sense to know. If a girl has a his boyfriend/husband's family member abuse her and she doesn't tell, she's a fool and a bitch! |
| Re: Do I Tell? by TheSeeker(m): 11:01pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
ibkaye:I'm so sorry sweetheart if it came across to you that way but can you honestly and conspicuously point two posts to me where I treated my assumptions as facts and show me why I treat them as facts? When you have done that, tell me you've never seen such. I'm not slamming anyone here, anything I say here is based on things I have seen happen at least twice. I have seen this situation happen many times -- a girl slept with his boyfriend's dad because he showed her the key to a brand new Toyota Corolla 2008; do you know what happened? She slept with him and took it, they both planned it out later to tell the guy his dad loves her as his son's girlfriend and bought her the car for being a good girl. How did I get to know? She supposedly asked her friend for advice(after she has slept with her boyfriend's dad) but she didn't own up he bought the car for her at that time, now what makes that any different from this? I still say it's bullshit that she doesn't know what to do. It's a choice she has to make, not a demand she has to meet up with. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by platinumnk(f): 11:09pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
[glow=teal,2,300]I hear u TheSeeker, but u didnt answer my question about the sexual abused women, (and calling them names is not an answer) I think ure replyin based on your personal experience, which is fine, because i do the same thing as well. I respect ur opinion  PS- How did the Guy found out that she slept with his dad [/glow] |
| Re: Do I Tell? by TheSeeker(m): 11:12pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
I do not have the right to call them names anyways, they are adults and are entitled to choose their way of lives but when it comes to making other women look bad, then I start to have a problem with it. Do you know in Nigeria, women's actions are generalized? Anyways, what was the question again? Can you ask it a bit clearer? |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 11:15pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
TheSeeker:Would just like to say that just because you're 'seen it before' doesn't mean that the posters case is neccesarily the same. TheSeeker:Don't quite understand how you know that, as debosky has stated, 'she could be really confused about what to do and not be a gold digger'. (Notice the word I used, 'could', not 'is') I believe that was a statement in response to one of your earlier comments 'This girl is another gold digger. She's confused because she wants to take the offer and wants a tip on how to keep it on the down low from her boyfriend.' Fair enough this could be the case, I'm not saying it is neither am I saying it isn't, but we don't know that, maybe it's just me, but you put these statements across as though you knew for a fact that this is definitely the case, everybody has their conclusions, it's just the way we put them across that matters. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by platinumnk(f): 11:23pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
TheSeeker: TheSeeker: Like how how women are afraid to tell on everybody favorite "uncle" that he sexually abuses them. How is this different? [glow=teal,2,300] That quote was my question. [/glow] |
| Re: Do I Tell? by TheSeeker(m): 11:39pm On Jul 17, 2009 |
ibkaye:She's confused because she doesn't know what to do? Why? If it was someone else from outside the family, will she keep it to herself? You might not find anything derogatory about it but that tone seems like if it was someone else from outside the family fold, this thread will never have existed. Maybe I need to state this again, why can't she tell her boyfriend? Does she have any premonition that he'll disbelieve her? Has she lied to him before that makes her think he will never believe her? This is a serious issue that any guy would take up and can never be laughed away. Does he love her? If he does, do they communicate at all? If they do, why can't she tell him? If they don't, why not? I believe her boyfriend should know the next minute his cousin tried this no matter how much he worships him; he can't possibly think she's lying against him unless she has done something of similar magnitude in the past. She has nothing to hide and may I tell you something else? If she doesn't tell him now, his cousin will keep more pressure on her and that will outburst to the knowledge of the boyfriend and do you know what happens next? The cousin will deny as will the girl and he(boyfriend) will admit they have been doing it behind his back and some sort of disagreement just blew it all out in the open. He'll leave her claiming she slept with his cousin and as the worship sting still exists between him and his cousin, they'll make up again but before he knows any further that she didn't do anything with him, the relationship is void. I'll be waiting on any guy in the house who will go against me on this one. platinumnk:Many women don't and some with very strong opinion do. I appreciate women who will go to any length to tell. Of course some people will take it the other way round and put it all on the woman but I believe it's the best thing for her because only then will she know she's been dealing with a jerk. When your man doesn't trust you, then the relationship isn't worth the headache -- I'm not saying he should jump into conclusions but he can at least, try to find out and know more, not even by asking the guy but by setting more traps for him and finding the truth. The women whom I have seen to keep this sort of situation away from their men, have had trouble with their men's trust level and broke the relationships while some were lucky to be believed by their men but were really blamed for not telling on the family relative. I do believe communication is important in a relationship and if such serious matters can't be discussed with your boyfriend then I wonder what else will be. What if she was raped, won't she tell him? Will she keep that to herself? If she keeps it to herself, will she be justified when he finds out he had sex with her? |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 2:53am On Jul 18, 2009 |
crackhead:You got it changed and you're complaining? You should have got banned. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 7:52am On Jul 18, 2009 |
You got it changed and you're complaining? What is going on here? I thought the OP was named El Gator? So, why was her username changed? In the sports section we have a certain nateev who cloned our own nateevs. Debosky should know this. Why are NL moderators selective? What is the biggie about FL Gators that she can't have a similar username on NL? Some things the mods do makes one wonder. I think this is an act of injustice. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE CHANGING USERNAMES Except on request. |
| Re: Do I Tell? by Nobody: 8:17am On Jul 18, 2009 |
LOL!  Se me see wahala. |
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