I have just come out of a 3 year relationship that was toxic from beginning to end, I feel completely numb and shocked at the things I have come to find out.


Ok, I'll cut a long story short, when we we met, I thought he was the most charming, funniest man and I was taken by him from the moment we met. He made me feel like the most loved and amazing person and swept me off my feet like one oyibo prince charming on TV or something. Due to my low self esteem issues and my troubled childhood after I lost both parents, I couldn't believe a man could love me this much. He seemed like my soul mate and I instantly felt loved and wanted which was something I never knew.


Fast forward three months later I discovered he had a girlfriend and I was broken in pieces. He pleaded, pretended, spoke nicely, looked sober and stupidly I took him back, only for him to keep dumping me and going back. I felt like I was consumed by him and was scared to lose him well, looking back now, maybe I was brain washed. He eventually decided to be with me and promised he'll take me to meet his Dad because mom is late. The relationship was toxic and I didn't see it then at all, He never took me to occasions such as weddings, naming ceremonies or even birthday parties of friends etc, I barely met any of his friends and it took him 3 years to agree to go on a small holiday at the Obudu ranch resort with me, not that he cannot afford it. He would never even commit to a day at weekend with me , instead opting for friends, golf (The IBB golf course became like his second home), in short,...anything but me.

I felt like I was pleading with him every week to do something with me like take me out or just stay with me, there was always an excuse. He always complained that I was a bore that I didn't like drinking with him, but he never listened to me , he would always make everything about himself and I felt like I had no voice. He would say I didn't trust him and the way I thought and the way my mind worked wasn't right and I couldn't be happy. The only time I saw him was on weekdays after work to come and watch some TV programme of his choice, all my choices were pathetic (his words) He never let me have any say, very controlling but I didn't see it that way. He goes on call but not every time, I know he can leave for work at anytime of day but that doesn't mean he cannot find time for me. He would work shifts and on the morning shifts he would make me get up at 5am to drive home and go back to my place rather then let me stay in his place till I had to go to work. If he is leaving the house early, I would also get dressed and find my way to my house, never gave me a spare key to his apartment.
Every time I stated my unhappiness or confronted him he would give me the Silent treatment for weeks, he 'll wait for me to beg and if I don't, he would always get back in touch and we would start over again but he never changed and the cycle would start again. When he comes back apologizing, one would think he has learnt his lesson and will become a better man but no way. We were on and off multiple times. Gradually I became anxious. Anyway about 3 months ago I found out on one of our breaks he dated someone and now they are a couple, he is lavishing her with gifts and outings and allows her to stay in his house only knowing her a few weeks o. In three years, he never let me stay over for even a weekend. But she is like always there with him. See life? She has met his family, they have booked a holiday to Ghana come Easter. Everything I was fighting for 3 years but never got. Ok, He was still contacting me right up till 3 weeks ago , I was ill and he was offering to come help me . Maybe I am the one who has shown myself no self worth due to
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

Ok

... but u should kno that this story is long naa.ah ah

You allowed this to happen in three years while all the signs were obvious,

Well I guess you were used and dumped, just move on and be more vigilant next time

Awwww.. so painful. begging to be loved, i know how it feels. so sorry , Thank God you have moved on. like someone said, be vigilant next time.