Twinkie8:
I need help. My husband of 9 years is emotionally abusive, it's a kind of abuse that I don't know how to explain, has never
hit me but his body language when he doesn't approve of my action, it can make anyone feel so worthless. We do not talk about anything, if we manage to talk, it's never about us, it must be just general discussions about the news or someone. I have tried severally to make him realize that we need to also have discussions about "our family" but I don't know, he just doesn't understand or doesn't care. On Saturdays,he spends hours in the room watching movies on the computer. He yells at me and the kids ( 3, 5 and when he speaks and he spends very little time with the children. Whenever they need his attention, he says " I'm very busy can you go tell your mummy what you want"?
I am afraid to even have a brief separation because of financial reasons. I've told him he needs help but he won't believe me. I know he refuses to get help because he is obsessed with money , hates to spend it. He doesn't like to see me spend either. I earn little compared to him but he gets too interested with how I spend my own money. He will yell at me if I buy things for the children's lunchboxes, like he feels they only need food and water, when I add snacks and he sees, his faces changes, he may not react then but a little mistake after that and he goes short tempered and yelling but me I kn ow what he is yelling about at that moment is not the real reason for the outbursts. We can't touch things in the house that he feels are his. I have never heard of a father who places boundaries and refers to things as "mine" instead of "ours' His corner is a no go as he won't say that but his body language spells that and then we all are careful, like walking on egg shells.
I actually hate him sometimes. I feel sad for my kids. He had a bad family life and does not know how to be a father, He never had a father figure in his life as he lost his dad quite early and grew up with mom who never remarried, I guess that is the reason for his being the way that he is. There was no father figure to guide and be his role model growing up, but that I sometimes feel should not be a reason for being cruel and unkind.
I have bought him books on successful parenting, marriage and family life, how to be
SOURCE: www.wivestownhallconnection.com

Fabulocity:
DH is definitely cheating on you!
Someone else is milking all the love and attention he's supposed to show you
And unfortunately, it's affecting your kids
I'm not going to even judge or condemn him, but he needs serious spanking
Maybe you should tie him to a chair and scream your lungs out about how he's making you feel
But on a more serious note, try and communicate with him. If need be, get his family's attention and tell them about his goatish attitude
And please do not fight fire with fire
continue to be nice to him
but don't overwhelm him with niceness

I am afraid to even have a brief separation because of financial reasons.