sss

if there was no legal joining of the two of u, how do u expect to prove in court that she really is YOUR wife and you're fighting for custody for YOUR son. i'm glad u know that the court will like grant her custody but let me tell u, not only will the court grant her custody, they might ban even u from seeing the boy cus u know what? u have nothing to prove that she is your wife.
your lawyer said to u use force but how do u intend to do that with her whole family in support? beat the whole lot of them and snatch the boy?
i wouldnt ask that u leave ur son and move on but have u even thought if that boy is really yours?
if u love your son, i would advice u stay in his life as much as u can cus it will get to a point that he himself will want u around

daretayo:

I am a 34 year man and me and my wife has been seperated for the past 1 year.
Dont really want to go into the reason and everything, but lets just say its a situation that cants be remedied .But we have a son that is 1 year 5 month and 17 days.
When we seperated she took the child with her to her parents place and they have been there for the past 1 year and all efforts to settle the rift has been abortive. And right now I no longer love her anymore .
My problem is this. The child is with her and i was told to stop coming to the parents house to see the boy.
Before them she communicates with me grudingly about My son's needs and we are not on talking terms at all. I would have prefered that despite the fact that we hate each other guts we should act like decent human beings.

For a period of 3-4 weeks I did not send supplies partially because she did not communicate with me regarding his exact needs ,also I was so broke during that period and I was protesting the unreasonble demands made.
When eventually after 3 weeks I went there to see my son. I sent some things to him but my ex-wifes parents and she herself refused those things and sent for me.
On getting there I was told that I should stop bringing things for the boy and that henceforth I am banned from coming to the house again.It was a big scene and I exchanged words with parents for the first time in 12 months.

My problem now is the next step to take.
Most people advise that I leave the child with them and face my life and rebuild my failed buiness and carreer(hidden and real reason why the my ex-bitch left me)
But its not easy for my me cause I love my son to pieces and cant bear not being part of his childhood.
My ex-wife is asuch a nasty bitch that she will probably take the child away soon and disappear.

The second option is to go be a man's man and go and take my son from them.
Technically we are yet to divource and that means I still have the right to go and take my son. If I go to court , the court might grant her custody and I will lose out. But now that noone has gone to court yet.My lawyer says that I can exercise my natural right as the father and take him away using reasonable and mininal force.
Note that I dont love her any more and she does not love me.
But She and her stupid family is using the boy as a bait.
Majority ask me to leave her and the child and face my life.
But my heart is heavy and also they will tell the boy stupid stpries when he grows up.Remember that history is written by winners.

Note that we were legally married

whatever you do dont fight it is not worth it. of course they will tell stories but truth eventually comes out

I struggle to understand how you can have walking away from your son as an option. If he is your son, how can you turn your back on him.

Ask yourself if you can take care of him properly, financially, emotionally and all the works whilst you are trying to get yourself together at the same time. Most men don't understand looking after a child is not only about spending a few minutes throwing them in the air after work etc. If you can't afford to take care of him, then leave him where he is but do your bit for him including remaining a significant part of his life.

Surely you are not broke everyday and being there for a child is not just about money, but other emotional needs that your being around him can meet. Try to sort out your differences with his mom for the sake of your son, apologise to her parents; plead with every member of her family if you have to. You know why you are doing it. Good Luck.

am gonna try and break dem down in bits for u,

u first mistake was that no matter how broke u are, ur son comes first and u shud have made his needs available,
no matter what circumstances u find yourself.
even if it meant loaning from some1 to pay for his upkeep.

2. now this issue is a very delicate one, and i suggest u listen and think properly,
as regards who takes custody, i think you have to handle with kid gloves.
already this boy is going to suffer the result of the breakup in future,
and so taking him from her is not goingto reduce the pain he wud have to gothrough.
onething that is obvious is the fact whether u loose now or not, ur son will definately return to  in future,
here lies my only fear. he wud have ben brought up in a different setting that it wud be difficult to inco-operate him into ur family.

what ur lawyer said make's some sense, but be careful hence u will be accused wrongly.
u cant file for custody, u wud loose,
u cant divorce her, u will be demanded to pay some upkeep for her and the child for the rest of ur life.

my only solution is to placate this family and stylishly warm ur ways into thier heart until hey trust u enuf to leave the boy around you.
then u take him and leave.
and when i mean leave u leave to an area she cant trace u.
its a dicey one, but just take precautions and all will go well.

i dont avice u leave ur son to her,
cos she will brainwash him and its never gona be corrected.
moreso its worse if u r from diff tribes.
goodluck with the issue.

I am so sorry for you. What an awful situation. There is nothing worse than bitter adults using poor innocent children as weapons of mass destruction.

I would honestly say don't do anything by force. Be as reasonable as you can and take as much BS as you can in order to maintain some level of communication.

Is there a possibility you could meet your ex without her parents around and to talk sensibly and practically about the future?

Wow. Just noticed how old this thread is!!! So - what was the ending? A happy one I pray,

mrsb:

I am so sorry for you. What an awful situation. There is nothing worse than bitter adults using poor innocent children as weapons of mass destruction.

I would honestly say don't do anything by force. Be as reasonable as you can and take as much BS as you can in order to maintain some level of communication.

Is there a possibility you could meet your ex without her parents around and to talk sensibly and practically about the future?

Very good point

mrsb:

Wow. Just noticed how old this thread is!!! 

Lol, shombo

Ilelobola:

I struggle to understand how you can have walking away from your son as an option. If he is your son, how can you turn your back on him.

Ask yourself if you can take care of him properly, financially, emotionally and all the works whilst you are trying to get yourself together at the same time. Most men don't understand looking after a child is not only about spending a few minutes throwing them in the air after work etc. If you can't afford to take care of him, then leave him where he is but do your bit for him including remaining a significant part of his life.

Surely you are not broke everyday and being there for a child is not just about money, but other emotional needs that your being around him can meet. Try to sort out your differences with his mom for the sake of your son, apologise to her parents; plead with every member of her family if you have to. You know why you are doing it. Good Luck.

I know the story is old, but what do you expect him to do after all he has done It is clearly obvious from his story that the girl dumped him when he got into financial difficulties and her parents supports her move

To be fair to the girl, maybe the guy cheated on her too, hence was the last straw that broke the camel's back and hence the reason she left him sha

@Poster,arent u a dog for u to have hooked up and even have a child with a bitch

u had a son from a bitch?

u sound like a loser

quote author=ifyalways link=topic=29924.msg4092908#msg4092908 date=1246012555]
@Poster,arent u a dog for u to have hooked up and even have a child with a bitch
[quote][/quote]
all women are bitches(apart from my mother of course)