I recently saw a movie where the protagonist was given one week to prove his undying love for the love of his life. Some of the things he tried were drop dead romantic and some where...well...not that much. I started thinking, what would it be like if a guy in Nigeria was faced with this challenge?

Sorry sha, I'm not about to give you seven romantic ideas to prove undying love but I can give you 3 romantic ideas that have the opposite effect.

This is no form of generalization. I know not everyone is the same so this isn't valid for every woman you might meet but at least you would know enough not to try them anyhow.

1. FLOWERS: I still don't even get this one but there is that smile that comes to the face of a woman when a guy shows up at her door with a bouquet of flowers or even a single rose...at least in the movies anyway. Now I'm not really sure why but it doesn't seem to elicit the same reaction over here. Maybe it's the wrong type of red rose. Maybe we don't have the right glands to find it appealing or maybe you simply would be considered thrifty...The point is, over here flowers are just what they are: flowers. They belong in a garden and that's where she wants to see them; not in your hands.

2. ROSE PETALS, RED SHEETS, SCENTED CANDLES: This one should have been romantic but thanks to nollywood you can kiss it goodbye. Imagine getting to a girl's house and finding an open door with rose petals on the floor leading to a semi dark area just around the corner. Once in, the first thing you notice is her lying down on a bed with red sheets surrounded by scented candles...well?
I asked a few people and one word kept coming up and I think you have the word in your head by now: RITUALS. Some guys might argue that they won't be bothered and maybe they won't but I just think if you don't want her running back and screaming "he wants to use me for blood money", I suggest you put on your freaking generator and leave the candles in their box.

3. THE NIGHT DRIVE:
So those Americans down south grab a truck full of Beer, drive to the country side and park in a nice remote spot with a good view of either the moon or the town...sometimes both and they have a good time. Oya wake up. Try that rubbish here and you will be lucky not to fall into police hands. If that wasn't deterrent enough, which kind mumu country side wey get remote spot no go be armed robber hideout? There might be a few exceptions but the general rule...especially with the current security challenges we face is not to be in funny places in the day talk more of in the night. Besides if the girl has any sense at all...she no go gree follow you.

Which others come to your mind?

4. LOVE POEMS

I have used poems actually.. Combined with going to the mall, cooking for her, playing the guitar and singing...

But Poems on its own... Taaaaaaa. E no dey do anything for babe. I knew this way back in school days, . Me guy write better poem for im babe on valentine day.. Hmmm. It was the beginning of the end of that relationship

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