My friend is in a deep matrimonial sheet. I know some Thomases will not believe am routing for my friend. Anyway I will report the matter the way it is. And serious advice is solicited because life is involved.
My friend met Cynthia (an o level holder) during his days in the university. They parted ways wen my friend was about to graduate and Cynthia was not too serious about life. Fast forwarded to 2015 after parting for over 20yrs. Both have married. One thing led to the other they got connected back thru a friend who gave my friend Cynthia no.
My friend discovered from Cynthia (on phone) that she was having matrimonial issues. She has bn unable to have a child ( though not wedded) and her husband has gotten 2 children with another woman outside. She was in this trauma when my friend obtained her no. Her husband have sent her parking.This generated some sympathy in my friend. She initiated a vist and my friend granted. It was an outstation visit. That night she told my friend that her husband for over 4 yrs rarely have intimacy with her. May be thrice or four times in a year.
Cutting the long story short , they made love that night. Unprotected sex, despite d fact that he bought condom , he got carried away and did not wear it.
The lady got pregnant, ( no controversy about who is responsible cos the lady convinced us by swearing. She even said that if she knew she can conceive she would done it outside and leave her husband)
Issue of abortion is out. Last week the lady got delivered of a beautiful baby girl.
My friend has bn financially supportive. No more sex with her except that one that caused the pregnancy.
The issue is how should he handle this matter from here. Should he inform his wife about it. Or Neglect the woman or what ? Pls ur advice is needed. Because of my friends integrity the whole matter is between my friend, I and the lady. Pls ur advice is highly needed.

Mod kindly push it to FP for more response. Its an emergency pls

Lalasticlala abi wetin b ur monicker....wen less important issues like "Buhari is opening a bottled water all by himself" make the FP but mine because I no dey ur club abi. U no won push am go FP. Why not break this jinx for me once and for all

S£xx is a beautiful thing.

When you dey Bleep you remember Ur wife?

BornnAgainChild:
S£xx is a beautiful thing.

....Until it lands one in trouble.

yomi007k:

....Until it lands one in trouble.

You or your friend just has to man up and tell your wife.

Look for a peace time and tell her. If you still love her reassure her that it was a one off incident and will never occur again.

Ensure you thereafter sleep with one eye open. This is to ensure she doesn't harm you in your sleep.

Also there is no guarantee the marriage won't collapse immediately afterwards. It may on the flip side strengthen things between the husband and spouse.

Decide and define your obligations to the child and the said baby mama.

May the Almighty God be with you through this challenging period of your/your friend's life

babythug:
You or your friend just has to man up and tell your wife.

Look for a peace time and tell her. If you still love her reassure her that it was a one off incident and will never occur again.

Ensure you thereafter sleep with one eye open. This is to ensure she doesn't harm you in your sleep.

Also there is no guarantee the marriage won't collapse immediately afterwards. It may on the flip side strengthen things between the husband and spouse.

Decide and define your obligations to the child and the said baby mama.

May the Almighty God be with you through this challenging period of your/your friend's life

Amen. Thank you

Before checking what happened I knew the man had impregnated someone outside. God help women.


You'll tell her na ni. Get some elders in yours and the wife's family to help in pleading with your wife and define your roles to that babymama. No stupid mistakes again.

Tell your friend to tell his wife. And let him sleep with both eyes open for a while . She's probably not going to leave him. But he will wish she had when she's through with him. So let him for the rest of his life be on tiptoes and best behaviour around his wife. And define the relationship strongly with Cynthia, financial support for his child to be paid into an account for the child and no visiting alone, he must carry a female relative with him to see the child. Because you men are very "flexible" with morals and if he takes his male friend, he may start getting comfortable and his male friend will encourage to marry Cynthia as Wife no2. (Meanwhile same male friend will be eating Wife no1's meals and won't see a problem with helping destroy her peace).

I won't leave a husband if this happens, but that dude is gonna end up with a recurring illness and I will cry and pray louder than the most dedicated pastor everytime he's in the hospital. And most women will probably do the same

BornnAgainChild:
S£xx is a beautiful thing.

Very beautiful my sister

Op just say its u jor!

But why is it that some men think with their d'ick but when they get into trouble , they start acting as if their brain went on holiday
.

Anyway I think u should ask your manhood for advise .

Onegai:

I won't leave a husband if this happens, but that dude is gonna end up with a recurring illness and I will cry and pray louder than the most dedicated pastor everytime he's in the hospital. And most women will probably do the same

You won't leave him but you'll want him sick everytime? Of what use would he be to you when he's sick or near dead ?

What intergrity

Eketem:
What intergrity

His integrity of course......or he shld drown because he erred.

So he bought a condom but didn't use it? Smart man.

Anyway,here's my 2kobo; best move will be to keep things quiet as your friend's wife does't need to know. What she doesn't know wouldn't hurt her.
The only threat here is if Cynthia will keep quiet,too.

Use your brain now, how can he tell her such? Let him hold on until later, the other lady may want paternity of the child to be on her present hubby since they don't have kids.

Obo dun oloyin



boda oloko dogi dogi bawo?

She needs to stay where she's 4nw if u dnt wnt to scatter ur marriage. If ur frnd is capable he relocate dwoman to a far place& kip his mouth shut 4life

Can you give us a brief history about your friend's father?

ponkitibobo:


His integrity of course......or he shld drown because he erred.

I'm sorry but your friend has no integrity to speak of or write home about.

he'll have to open up to his wife about his indiscretions eventually. the earlier the better.

but to be sure, trust is like glass. one it is broken it can never be the same again.

I don't know which is worse, the story or the way its told...

You have the gut to cheat on your wife, but do not have the same gut to narrate your sexcapades to her, as if Nairalanders were there when you're doing the deed. Nonsense question. OK, give me your address, let me go and help you tell her.....mtchew

I wonder how you'll take it if it's your that did what you did, I'm sure you'd have pulled down the heavens on her.


IF YOU CAN'T BE MARITALLY FAITHFUL, REMAIN SINGLE.

The story doesn't add up. If your friend is such a man of 'integrity ', why was he with a condom to meet his ex?

Anyway, it have happen, It have happen.
You berra tell your wife. 1st of all to clear your conscience
2nd of all, you respect your wife. I believe for you to have gotten married to her, you have some form of respect for her.
3rd of all and most importantly, to avoid a Nollywood script playing out in your family 20 something years later.
Scene 1 (you in the living room after dinner with your wife)
Enters son.
Son: daddy, mommy, good evening.
You: oh my son welcome. It's good to see you. How are you?
Son: I'm fine sir(hugs mother). I have good news for you.
You: Really!!! Tell me. I'm all ears.
Son: I've met the woman I want to marry...
To be continued.

Seriously though, tell your wife the truth.

I don't see it to be an easy thing oo
The whole script will keep playing in your head
For years you been together and this?
Walahi I dunno
I am quick to say I am done but really I can't tell unless it happens to me

My own husband
She's been wanting a child
OK, she has left her husband
Stays alone
My own husband must surely go see his child na
That's a second wife already

You should come out with thr best solution to your problem.
Integrity?
You planned visiting a married woman with the thought of having sex with her.

How would you have felt if your wife did not only slept with another man but brought his pregnancy home?

It is dangerous to be in intimate relationship with someone else husband or wife. If Cynthia had not become pregnant, you would have been continously sleeping with her. What is worth doing ones is worth doing all the time.
My advise is to tell your wife and let her decide on what to do with your marriage.
This must be done in order to clear your conscience.
You must also tell Cynthia husband that she has your child if you really want to clear your conscience and be forgiven by God.
Lessons
1. Never destroy yourself because of 5minutes enjoyment.
2. Never stay in isolation with an opposite sex because the devil will flow in system with all kinds of thought until you will find yourself eating a forbidden fruit.

you mean after 20 solid years of parting with her, you still had the feeling enough to UnCloth and get down with her, you friend must be a joker.
don't abandon your child from the other woman. free your mind and tell your wife what you have done and face the brunts of your own 5 minutes StupiditY.

it would have been better if this fling wasn't with your EX. what the hell... EX should be dead and history.
there are just some things a Woman will NEVER forgive her am for... women are different though, if your wife falls in such category then your friend is headed for the rocks.

ponkitibobo:
My friend is in a deep matrimonial sheet. I know some Thomases will not believe am routing for my friend. Anyway I will report the matter the way it is. And serious advice is solicited because life is involved.
My friend met Cynthia (an o level holder) during his days in the university. They parted ways wen my friend was about to graduate and Cynthia was not too serious about life. Fast forwarded to 2015 after parting for over 20yrs. Both have married. One thing led to the other they got connected back thru a friend who gave my friend Cynthia no.
My friend discovered from Cynthia (on phone) that she was having matrimonial issues. She has bn unable to have a child ( though not wedded) and her husband has gotten 2 children with another woman outside. She was in this trauma when my friend obtained her no. Her husband have sent her parking.This generated some sympathy in my friend. She initiated a vist and my friend granted. It was an outstation visit. That night she told my friend that her husband for over 4 yrs rarely have intimacy with her. May be thrice or four times in a year.
Cutting the long story short , they made love that night. Unprotected sex, despite d fact that he bought condom , he got carried away and did not wear it.
The lady got pregnant, ( no controversy about who is responsible cos the lady convinced us by swearing. She even said that if she knew she can conceive she would done it outside and leave her husband)
Issue of abortion is out. Last week the lady got delivered of a beautiful baby girl.
My friend has bn financially supportive. No more sex with her except that one that caused the pregnancy.
The issue is how should he handle this matter from here. Should he inform his wife about it. Or Neglect the woman or what ? Pls ur advice is needed. Because of my friends integrity the whole matter is between my friend, I and the lady. Pls ur advice is highly needed.
Mod kindly push it to FP for more response. Its an emergency pls
Lalasticlala abi wetin b ur monicker....wen less important issues like "Buhari is opening a bottled water all by himself" make the FP but mine because I no dey ur club abi. U no won push am go FP. Why not break this jinx for me once and for all

First of all, this "friend" of yours hasn't got a shred of decency in his bones, but rather is a low-life-two-faced-scheming-coward

Secondly, he should free his soul and do the decent thing by informing his wife that not only did he get a married woman knocked up, he's also been secretly funding his love child (probably with his wife's money or their joint funds). And while he's on his confession spree, he should admit to Cynthia's husband that she (Cynthia), is raising another man's seed under her husband's roof.

Finally, this "friend" of yours should advice his wife to quickly get herself checked out at the nearest STD clinic for HIV and other sexual nasties he's exposed her to. I mean Cynthia's husband has been with several women, Cynthia herself probably with several partners, and same thing with your friend. So many mix of bodily fluids finding their way to the unsuspecting wife.

Tufiakwa.

EfemenaXY:


First of all, this "friend" of yours hasn't got a shred of decency in his bones, but rather is a low-life-two-faced-scheming-coward

Secondly, he should free his soul and do the decent thing by informing his wife that not only did he get a married woman knocked up, he's also been secretly funding his love child (probably with his wife's money or their joint funds). And while he's on his confession spree, he should admit to Cynthia's husband that she (Cynthia), is raising another man's seed under her husband's roof.

Finally, this "friend" of yours should advice his wife to quickly get herself checked out at the nearest STD clinic for HIV and other sexual nasties he's exposed her to. I mean Cynthia's husband has been with several women, Cynthia herself probably with several partners, and same thing with your friend. So many mix of bodily fluids finding their way to the unsuspecting wife.

Tufiakwa.

Only God will save women from men with wandering di.cks. Just the thought of so many STDs the unsuspecting woman is at risk of creeps me out. It is well

Sir, nothing is new under the sun, don't go choke yourself up like you've committed a grave offence.

Now, you bought condom and you forgot to use it?

You departed for over 20yrs just to find out she's childless?

You both got in heat of the moment and the result was a beautiful daughter?

The cynthia husband probably gave birth to kids outside without informing cynthia.

Nature just have a way of compensating cynthia also by giving her a child, you're just a the person used to drive all these nature bound things to happen.

I study coincidence a lot, and I know nature bound one when I see them.

For all those condemning him, jesus is naturally bound to be betrayed by someone, jesus knew this, judas was just a victim of circumstance.

He who is without sin should cast first stone. Sir, go and make peace with your family, you've done no wrong. If your wife can't understand you, then I guess she can live, but if she knows you well, she can stay. "We live and you learn, either you freeze or you burn"---jadakiss.

Person wey go marry two wives nogo stop at one.

DaVinChiSam:
I don't know which is worse, the story or the way its told...

Am not a story teller.....use ur brain

EfemenaXY:


First of all, this "friend" of yours hasn't got a shred of decency in his bones, but rather is a low-life-two-faced-scheming-coward

Secondly, he should free his soul and do the decent thing by informing his wife that not only did he get a married woman knocked up, he's also been secretly funding his love child (probably with his wife's money or their joint funds). And while he's on his confession spree, he should admit to Cynthia's husband that she (Cynthia), is raising another man's seed under her husband's roof.

Finally, this "friend" of yours should advice his wife to quickly get herself checked out at the nearest STD clinic for HIV and other sexual nasties he's exposed her to. I mean Cynthia's husband has been with several women, Cynthia herself probably with several partners, and same thing with your friend. So many mix of bodily fluids finding their way to the unsuspecting wife.

Tufiakwa.

Cynthia is not with any man again. So issue of nursing another mans child under her husbands roof does not exist. She has bn sent parkibg because she bears no child

haul:
Sir, nothing is new under the sun, don't go choke yourself up like you've committed a grave offence.

Now, you bought condom and you forgot to use it?

You departed for over 20yrs just to find out she's childless?

You both got in heat of the moment and the result was a beautiful daughter?


The cynthia husband probably gave birth to kids outside without informing cynthia.

Nature just have a way of compensating cynthia also by giving her a child, you're just a the person used to drive all these nature bound things to happen.

I study coincidence a lot, and I know nature bound one when I see them.

For all those condemning him, jesus is naturally bound to be betrayed by someone, jesus knew this, judas was just a victim of circumstance.

He who is without sin should cast first stone. Sir, go and make peace with your family, you've done no wrong. If your wife can't understand you, then I guess she can live, but if she knows you well, she can stay. "We live and you learn, either you freeze or you burn"---jadakiss.

Person wey go marry two wives nogo stop at one.

Thanks. Just my thought too. Or how else, ur ex of 20yrs get connected back childless. And the only encounter wit her produced a baby. This is mystery common sense cannot explain. Some things are bound to be.
May she is d most appropriate woman my friend suppose to marry. Who knows.
People should look beyond d surface. Things happen for reason beyond what we can see .

ponkitibobo:



Thanks. Just my thought too. Or how else, ur ex of 20yrs get connected back childless. And the only encounter wit her produced a baby. This is mystery common sense cannot explain. Some things are bound to be.
May she is d most appropriate woman my friend suppose to marry. Who knows.
People should look beyond d surface. Things happen for reason beyond what we can see .

You know people are black and white in reasoning, so expect people to condemn him, we live in a hypocritical society.